Their Purpose 2
by AbovetheCloudsandDreaming
Summary: Sequel to my first story, Their Purpose, though you don't necessarily have to read it for this one to make sense. This picks up right after the ending of the game. Joel and Ellie's relationship continues to develop as they deal with Joel's lie. Both of them struggle growing accustomed to living a normal life in Jackson.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello again everyone. Here is the first chapter of Their Purpose 2. It took me quite awhile to actually get started because I struggled with the beginning. However, once I got going, everything just sort of flowed. I really enjoyed writing this and thus got kind of carried away, so it's really long, but I hope you won't mind. It feels good knowing I can freely explore some more themes and what I imagine would take place after the end of the game without any constraints. Thank you again everyone for reading my first story, if you did, and thank you for taking the time to read this one. Here we go!**

* * *

Ellie felt her heart rip in two.

One half was filled to the brim with every ounce of good that formed during their journey. The affection, the trust between them, how much she cared for him, the attachment, the tingle she got in her stomach while snuggled next to him at night and each time he called her baby girl, the knowledge that her greatest fear would never come to fruition, and lastly, the budding of this new feeling, love, all formed a special nook in her heart. He became the center of her universe and she became his. There were moments during their travels when she thought her purpose and reason for living no longer originated from her destiny to save mankind, but from him. But the thoughts were always fleeting, and each time she tried to convince herself they were simply fallacies and nothing more, despite her heart saying otherwise.

The other half rapidly filled with resentment. In this moment, she hated him. She knew he was lying. He had to be lying. She woke up in the backseat of a car, dressed in a hospital gown, woozy from what were, apparently, drugs. Drugs for what? Who drugged her and why? So much of his explanation didn't add up. She was smarter than that and her extremely sharp intuition only enhanced her skepticism. This man, who she trusted implicitly with her life, with her well-being, lied directly to her face. She felt as if her opinions and thoughts didn't matter, as if her feelings were no longer important to him. Most of all, she wondered _why_ he lied to her. What was his reasoning? He must have had a reason, he had to, but how long would he keep her in the dark?

The smallest part of her even felt he robbed her of her purpose. The intensity of the passionate rage that smoldered within urged her to simply turn around and run away. But she couldn't. That would kill him, she knew it would. She tip-toed along the fine line of two, extreme emotions, love and hate. Joel, this man that became her father, she adored him, she possibly even loved him, but at this moment she hated and loathed him all at the same time. Each feeling canceled out the other, thus causing her lips to utter the most simplistic and unassuming of responses.

 _Okay._

Joel's insides twisted and turned. Her succinct response didn't convey the same level of belief he envisioned her having, and he felt as if someone kicked him in the stomach. The smallest, most hopeful part of him, thought she one-hundred percent believed him, but he knew that wasn't true. He knew she was sharper than that. She had a radar for these kind of things, a radar more acute than anyone else he encountered during his lifetime. She saw through him back at the ranch house, when he nearly left her, and she saw right through him now.

He was relieved to see her still standing there, looking into his eyes, as opposed to sprinting in the other direction. He could sense the newly formed tension between them already grating on his heart, and he tried to convince himself she would understand if he told her the truth. He had to tell her, eventually. He just didn't know how or when. His pessimism lured his mind to the worst imaginable place. Once she found out, regardless of how, she would leave him. She would run away, or worse. This girl that became his daughter, the one thing he loved more than life itself, his purpose, would leave him. He would lose his baby girl again and that alone would kill him. Literally. He wasn't about to break his promise to protect her at all costs, even if it meant protecting her from herself.

"Now c'mon - we're almost there," he said as he slowly turned around, worried she wouldn't follow.

Ellie sighed. "Yeah - yeah we are."

She walked a few paces behind him, still lost in her thoughts. For the first time since fate brought him to her, and her to him, she felt an uneasy distrust forming in the depths of her mind. She didn't like it. It made her feel distant, as if she were being pushed away. It even made her feel alone.

As they approached the compound, Joel stopped and tried to see who stood in the nearest guard tower. He brought a hand to his forehead to block out the sun and the image of his brother, Tommy, leaning against the guardrail with his rifle, became visible. He immediately quickened to a light jog, motioning his hand for Ellie to follow.

"It's Tommy," he said over a shoulder.

Ellie remained on his heels as they approached the wall.

"Hold it right - " Tommy started. "Holy shit - I don't believe it. Joel? Ellie?"

Joel placed both hands on his hips and looked up at Tommy. "How you doin' little brother?" he said loudly.

Tommy slung his rifle over a shoulder and his eyes widened from the combination of surprise and awe. As far as he was concerned, Joel and Ellie didn't make it. He accepted, awhile ago, that he would never see them again.

"Goddamn - hang on right there... I'm comin' down!"

Joel and Ellie heard the soles of Tommy's boots bang on the metal stairs after each step. Once he reached the bottom, they heard him speak into his radio as he walked around to the front gate.

"Maria - Maria come in. You gotta get out here. It's - Joel and Ellie... they're back."

Joel turned around, hoping to see Ellie's mood improve after reaching their destination, their new home.

"We made it - we're here."

Ellie forced herself to smile. "Heh... yeah 'bout time I guess."

He could tell she was still bothered by his earlier lie and worried their relationship would be strained for the rest of the evening, perhaps even week, or even month, he wasn't sure. Every fiber in his being wished she would just accept it and let things go back to normal, without him having to tell her the truth of course.

They walked around the perimeter towards the front gate to meet Tommy. The large, metal gate screeched and groaned as it slowly swiveled its way open. Out came Tommy and Maria.

"Holy hell... we thought - " Tommy started, as he and Maria approached them. "We never thought we'd - " Maria softly smacked him on the side of the arm.

"Right... I don't even know what to say - it's... it's so fuckin' good to see you two, goddamn."

Ellie watched Joel and Tommy embrace with a brotherly hug and she simply nodded at Maria.

"Ellie! We're... like Tommy said... there aren't words to describe how happy we are to see you. I can't believe this is real, that this is actually happening."

Ellie let out a forced laugh. "Yeah I know... pretty crazy. We're glad to be back - finally be done with it all." She didn't entirely feel that way. A part of her wished it was still just the two of them on the road, traveling towards their end-goal. This was their collective second chance though, their luck hadn't run out, and she would be foolish to scoff at this gift of good fortune. Bug talking to, and relating with other human beings aside from Joel felt strange to her. It was difficult to accept that Tommy and Maria had the best of intentions and posed no threat.

Tommy took a step back and looked at Maria then glanced at the two weary travelers.

"Ya know... we're 'bout to have dinner in a couple hours. Why don't you two join us - stay with us for the night, then tomorrow we'll worry 'bout everything else. Whaddya say?"

"Ellie - you hungry?" Maria asked.

Ellie simply looked at Joel, waiting for his response. As chaotic and angry the tempest of emotions that raged within her were, she still followed his every move and word.

He returned her stare with his then finally spoke, breaking the awkward silence between the four of them. "Well - go on then, Tommy kindly asked us to join 'em for dinner. If we're gonna be livin' a normal life ya gotta learn some manners," he said with a smirk and a wink as he rubbed a hand through her hair.

"Oh - yeah... yeah that sounds great, thanks," Ellie said.

"Great - c'mon we'll give ya the quick tour on the way home," Tommy said as he and Maria turned around to make their way back inside the compound.

 _Home._

That was something neither of them were familiar with. The concept was completely foreign, and they forgot what it meant to really have a home.

They walked through the open gate, entering the compound, and were immediately in awe of their surroundings. Small houses lined a narrow road that extended for about a mile. There was no garbage, no bodies, no blood and no abandoned cars and trucks that lined the street. Everything was relatively clean and each house was in good condition.

Ellie looked to her left and spotted a man rocking back and forth in a chair on his front porch while reading a book. The whole town seemed so peaceful, even surreal, and she couldn't believe a place like this even existed on planet earth anymore. The air actually smelled fresh and crisp, and the usual scent of death that her and Joel became used to didn't waft into her nose after each gust of wind.

But despite being safe inside the compound, away from Infected, hunters and bandits, their senses were still sharply aware of everything around them. Every sound and sudden movement off in the distance immediately pulled her and Joel's attention away from the conversation with Tommy and Maria. Each time a board would creak from a person walking on their porch, or a bush rustled in the wind, their hearts would skip a beat as it became instinct to assume the worst. It was going to take quite some time before both of them would be comfortable enough to completely let their guard down, something that was integral to their sustained survival.

Joel turned to Ellie and sought her approval of their new home. "So Ellie - what you think? Feels a little weird don't it - you know... bein' in a place like this."

"Yeah you said it - no shit. Every sound I hear I - "

"Yep - me too. I reckon it'll take awhile before we're used to it," Joel interrupted, finishing her thought for her.

"It will - but you'll relax eventually. I did - somewhat," Tommy said. He slowed his pace, walking side by side with Joel so they could talk.

Maria pulled up next to Ellie, engaging her in conversation to let the brothers catch up. She had no clue as to what was going through Ellie's mind and was unsure of what to say. She didn't want to pry about their journey, or the multitude of stories they could share. She was sure both of them would fill her in when they were ready.

"So Ellie... we've got some other kids here too. Some are your age - you might get along with 'em. I'll introduce you sometime," Maria said.

Ellie's insides cringed. She knew Maria was trying to be friendly, but the thought of being near strangers and away from Joel made her nervous. She didn't like the thought, a product of the serious damage done to her psyche over the past year.

"Yeah... that'd be nice, thank you," she responded, trying to be polite.

Maria started to speak again, but something else caught Ellie's attention. Maria's voice became an afterthought in the back of her mind as her eyes pierced in front of her. A woman, who appeared to be a few years younger than Joel, stood and watched them as they strolled down the street. She wasn't just watching them, though, she was staring at Joel, intently. Her gaze made Ellie uncomfortable. The protective feelings she developed for him engulfed her as she observed this strange woman's eyes glare at her father. She couldn't logically reason through why it bothered her, but it did. She hated it. She was still upset and angry with Joel, but this new feeling made her just as uncomfortable, and for now made her forget his lie. Within the blink of an eye, all the feelings of attachment and everything that built between them during their journey flooded into her mind, temporarily pushing out the anger and rage she felt over his transgression.

And despite Maria's continued attempt at conversation, Ellie quickened her pace to catch up with Joel and Tommy. She jumped onto Joel's back and let out a playful growl as she rubbed her nose into his neck.

"Agh - jesus Ellie... scared me," he said with a laugh.

Maria and Tommy laughed, admiring the display of affection. Something was different, though, and they both could see it, especially Maria. She carefully observed their interactions, their body language and the tone of their voices. She could tell something changed between them since they were last here in the fall, and it was quickly becoming blatantly clear what that was.

"I'm hungry and tired," Ellie said as she rested her chin on his shoulder, still propped up on his back.

"Yeah me too... hey - how 'bout a piggy back ride? I've never done that for ya have I?" Joel said looking over his shoulder. He was relieved to feel her close again. For a fleeting second, he thought she already forgave him for his horrible lie. But he knew that wasn't true.

"Well... I'm not going anywhere so it's your only option!" Ellie exclaimed with a sarcastic, arrogant sense of pride. She stared down the woman in the distance as she spoke, causing her to turn around and walk away.

Maria and Tommy snickered at Ellie's bombastic tone. They looked at each other and without saying a word both confirmed what they were thinking, something most definitely changed.

"Alright kiddo - ya ready? Hang on, here we go!" Joel said, as he reached both hands behind his back, pushing Ellie's legs higher up. She wrapped both arms around his neck and a large smile stretched across her face.

They continued walking down the street, fondly observing their surroundings. Ellie's previous feelings of animosity towards Joel crept their way back into her mind, but she was enjoying every second of her current experience.

"Here we are - this is us," Tommy said, as he and Maria walked up the steps to a small, two story house. It had a front porch with a bench swing hanging from two chains. The roof was in remarkably good condition and there was even electricity running to the home as the porch light vibrantly glowed.

"Come on in!" Maria exclaimed, motioning her hand, welcoming them inside.

Joel walked up the steps with Ellie plastered to his back and felt a surreal sense of relief wash over him. They were finally finished, completely, with their year long quest.

* * *

Ellie sat at the kitchen table, swinging her legs back and forth as she eagerly awaited Maria's home cooked meal. Joel sat to her right and could feel his mouth salivating at the thought of real food. Food that wasn't simply from a can. Maria's cooking smelled divine. She cooked a rabbit stew with carrots, onions, celery and some potatoes. Their stomachs growled in unison and they both let out a quiet laugh among themselves.

"I don't mean to be rude but uhh... food almost up over there?" Joel asked with a half-serious tone.

"Auugghhh - oh my god that smells so good. I'm so hungry!" Ellie said, following Joel's query.

Maria laughed. "Yes - I heard those stomachs of yours... it's ready I'm comin'."

She carried the blistering pot to the table and smiled as she scooped some stew into each bowl on the table. Tommy walked in from the other room, holding a bottle which contained a bronze looking liquid.

"Well Joel... this here is hard to find, so I try to not go through it too quick but - tonight is a special occasion. Figured I'd break this out," he said, handing the bottle to Joel.

"Damn little brother... where'd - it has been way too long - that is a winner." Joel stared at the label, fondly reminiscing on memories of before the outbreak.

Ellie leaned over to inspect Tommy's finding, curious to see what this mysterious liquid was. She read the label out loud.

"Gentleman Jack - what the fuck is Gentleman Jack?"

"Hey! Ellie - like I said, we gotta learn some manners. No swearin' at the dinner table okay?" Joel quickly said paternally, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She blushed with embarrassment. "Oh - right... sorry."

"Ahh... c'mon Joel we ain't in that time anymore, Maria and I don't care," Tommy said with a laugh.

"See! It's fine - right!?" Ellie said, raising her hands up.

"Tssht - I'd still rather you not... anyway it's a type of liquor. It's whiskey, loved the stuff," Joel continued.

Ellie remembered when her and Riley sneaked into the mall on that fateful night. They found some liquor then, and she remembered hating the taste. But it reminded her of that moment and a hint of sadness filled her as she remembered her long lost friend.

"Go on - you two are famished, eat up... I'll poor you a glass."

Tommy's words snapped her out of her thoughts and without hesitation Ellie grabbed her spoon and immediately dove it into the warm, steaming bowl of food. The concept of using a utensil was strange, she was used to shoveling food from a tin can into her mouth with her hands.

"Careful now, it's pretty hot," Maria warned.

Ellie didn't care. She took her first bite and swashed it around in her mouth, feeling the painful heat almost burn her tongue, but relishing the flavor.

"Oh my gosh... dish is sho fucking good."

"Ellie! C'mon kiddo what'd I say... and swallow your damn food before ya talk - Christ," Joel said with a laugh. It was hard for her to take him seriously when the tone of his voice was backed by a playful laugh each time he tried to discipline her in this manner.

She swallowed her first bite.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" she said as a slight frown appeared on her face.

Joel reached over and patted her on the back. "I know - it's gonna take awhile it's... it's fine," he said with a smile.

Ellie's frown inverted and she continued scooping the delicious meal into her mouth.

Maria remained carefully observant of Joel and Ellie's interactions, as if she were a scientist meticulously jotting down notes about the wildlife she studied.

"Maria - wow... this is really good. What is it?" Joel asked.

"Just a rabbit stew with some carrots, onions, a little bit of celery and some potatoes," she responded.

"She's a hell of a cook," Tommy said as he screwed the cap back onto the whiskey bottle.

Joel picked up his glass, closed his eyes and smelled the wonderful aroma of the whiskey. He brought it to his lips and took a sip.

"Aaahhh... man - heaven in a glass I'll tell ya that."

"Hell yeah," Tommy responded.

"Okay... let me see what all the fuss is about. Give that here, let me try some," Ellie said.

"Ellie - I don't think that's such a - " Joel started.

"Oh shit Joel c'mon... this ain't before the outbreak - we don't got drinkin' laws here, just let her have a taste."

Joel sighed. "Fine. You're gonna hate it anyway," he said with a smirk as he handed Ellie the beverage.

She slowly dipped her nose into the glass, curiously inspecting this mysterious drink called whiskey. She took a big whiff of the bronze liquid and immediately scrunched her face in disgust.

"Oh god... no. Why!? I don't think so... never mind. That just smells like... I dunno... gasoline."

Tommy and Joel laughed at the witty response and volatile reaction.

"Told ya - it's an acquired taste I guess," Joel said, taking another sip.

They went back to eating Maria's wonderfully prepared meal and savored every bite. The variety of flavors doused their taste buds with each mouthful and they were reminded of Henry's cooking back in Pittsburgh. He could make anything taste good. They felt the warmth of the stew wash down their throats all the way to the lining of their stomachs. It was a wonderful sensation, and their whole bodies began to warm from the liquid. Within minutes, Joel and Ellie cleaned their bowls dry. Ellie brought her sleeve up to wipe her mouth then let out a massive belch.

Joel immediately looked at her and saw her blush. Instead of trying to discipline her once more, he simply smiled and raised his index finger.

"Hang on... I got one too - oh, here it is!"

Joel let out a boisterous belch of his own. It was ear piercing and even caused Ellie to flinch.

Tommy and Ellie burst into laughter as Joel leaned back in his chair, beaming with pride.

"Nice one! Always trying to one up me though huh?" Ellie playfully said, poking Joel on the arm.

Tommy then followed and joined in, letting out a burp of his own.

"Haha well done little brother," Joel said, raising his hand towards him, seeking a high five. Tommy obliged and smacked Joel's hand with his.

"Oh my god... you three should join the band," Maria said with a sarcastic laugh as she scooped her spoon into her bowl.

Joel ran a hand through his hair. "So ya'll grow all your own food? Everything?"

Ellie sat back and crossed her arms, intrigued to learn more about this new place they were about to call home.

"That's right. All of it," Tommy replied.

"What about meat - like this raibbt in the stew here. You must go huntin' or... I dunno - somethin' right?"

Maria wiped her mouth with her napkin, then joined the conversation. "Yeah - we go hunting. Not often though, maybe about once every two weeks a group of us will head out beyond the compound to catch what we can. Dangerous though... still encounter some Infected."

Ellie's mood went somber when she heard that word, Infected. It reminded her of Joel's lie and the perception that she ultimately failed her mission. The Infected were supposed to be eventually wiped out because of her immunity, but she knew, now, that wasn't going to happen. Joel glanced over to Ellie and saw her eyes droop down towards the floor.

Tommy followed Maria's response with one of his own. "Yeah last week we were out there and we ran into a - "

Joel interrupted him, rescuing Ellie from hearing more words that would spiral her mind down a dark hole. "Not tonight Tommy... no Infected talk alright? Enjoy the fact we're here, yeah?"

"Oh... yeah sure. Of course," Tommy said before taking his last bite of food.

Maria noticed Ellie's change of expression and tried to revert it.

"You get enough food Ellie? I can put together somethin' else for ya if you like. Maybe some dessert?"

Ellie quickly perked her head up in reaction and smiled. "Oh no... it's fine. I'm great now, it was really good."

"Thank you, Maria. It was great," Joel said, hoping Ellie would express her gratitude as well.

"Yes, thank you very much," she said, sensing the motivation behind his words.

Joel looked at her and smiled, but she didn't return his eye contact with hers.

Maria got up and began clearing the table as they all talked. Ellie and Joel asked them more questions about the compound, curious to know what their role would be in this new world. Tommy assured them that tomorrow they would get the full tour and would find them a place to live of their own. A place they could finally call home.

After a few minutes, Joel tipped his glass up, taking his last sip of whiskey.

"Damn that's good... pour me another one will ya?" he said, motioning his empty glass towards Tommy.

"Sure thing," Tommy said, reaching for the bottle.

* * *

The hours of the evening passed, and the moon shined bright in the sky. Joel, Tommy and Maria still remained at the table. Ellie, wrapped in a soft blanket, dozed off on the couch nearby. Tommy suggested they play cards. Joel tried to teach Ellie how to play, but before long, her full belly of food and exhaustion from their journey set into her bones. The mental capacity required to learn the rules of this new game called poker was too much, and her eyelids began to wilt. She eventually excused herself and walked the ten feet to the couch to lie down, quickly dozing off. Maria suggested she could go straight to bed, upstairs in the spare room, but she didn't want to fall asleep away from Joel. As long as he was still within eyesight, she was okay.

"It's to you Maria," Tommy said.

Maria intensely stared at her cards, flicking their edges with her finger as she pondered her next decision. "Yeah - yeah I know... hang on." She sighed, then threw her cards face down on the table.

"Fold... don't have shit."

Joel leaned back in his chair, holding his cards face down as he gazed at Tommy, waiting for his decision. At this point, Joel was the only one in.

"Tommy," he said with a nod.

Tommy squinted his eyes as he tried to decipher his brother's intentions. He couldn't tell if he was bluffing. Joel bounced his eyebrows up and down at Tommy in a playful manner, masking the quality, or lack thereof, of his hand.

"C'mon hun... you gotta keep him honest. Don't let him get away with another one!" Maria said, prodding Tommy to match Joel's raise.

"Fuck it... I'll match." Tommy threw a stone to the center of the table. They didn't have actual poker chips and small stones had to suffice.

Maria flipped over the river card, pulling opposite reactions from Tommy and Joel.

"Whoo! There it is boy!" Joel said, as he threw his cards face up on the table.

"Shit - every time," Tommy said with a muffled laugh, tossing aside his cards in frustration.

"Straight flush," Joel said with satisfaction.

"Yeah - yeah... thought you were bluffin' this time - god dammit."

Joel sighed, took another sip of whiskey then puckered his lips. He glanced over to Ellie, who was still adorably snuggled under the blanket on the couch, sound asleep.

"Reckon I should get her to bed - want her to get a good sleep."

Tommy simply nodded in concurrence.

Joel walked over to Ellie and carefully picked her up, mindful to keep the blanket over her. She let out a quiet sound and twitched her head as her eyes fluttered open. She saw Joel's face right above her and quickly realized where she was. She was in her favorite place, wrapped tightly in his arms. She would be lying, though, if she claimed she wasn't angry with him. She still was. But the thought of being away from him hurt her just as much.

"Where - where are you taking me?" she asked in a tired tone.

Tommy and Maria quietly watched the interaction between the two.

"To bed baby girl," Joel responded with a smile. "You're tired - want you to sleep well."

Tommy suddenly twitched and shot his eyes towards Maria in reaction to hearing those two words. He leaned in close to her and whispered. "Did... did you just hear that?"

Maria pressed her lips together and raised her eyebrows in conjunction with a slow nod of agreement. She was just as surprised as Tommy. They watched Joel carry Ellie out of the room and up the stairs, straining their ears in the process.

"But - Joel... are - are you coming too?" Ellie asked with worry.

"I'll be up in a bit - I promise. I'm gonna talk with Tommy and Maria for a bit more, okay? I won't be long, I swear," he said as he continued up the stairs with Ellie in his arms.

She didn't like his response, and for the first time she felt she couldn't entirely trust him due to his earlier lie. But this was his first time seeing his brother in months and she didn't want to be the one to pull him away, so she reluctantly agreed.

"Okay... don't be too long," she said, affectionately gripping his sleeves with her small fingers.

"I won't," Joel replied with care, setting her on the bed in the spare room.

He tucked her under the blanket and smiled. She looked up at him, but didn't return his smile with hers. His heart sank from her ambivalence, he knew she was still stewing over his lie. He brushed the lock of hair behind her ear and softly spoke those infamous words.

"Good night my baby girl."

* * *

Joel came back downstairs to hear Tommy and Maria whispering to each other, but he couldn't make out any words. He entered the room, smiled at both of them then sat himself down.

"Okay..." he said with an exhale, relaxing into his chair once again. He reached for his whiskey and took another sip.

"You know, you can have our bed tonight - if you want Joel," Tommy offered. "Maria and I have slept on the couch before... we don't mind. I'm sure you deserve a good night's sleep."

"Nah, it's fine... don't worry 'bout me."

"Well, that couch ain't too comfortable to be honest. At least think about it alright?" Tommy pressed on.

"Oh... well uhh... I..." he cleared his throat then paused. "I'll be upstairs... with Ellie."

Tommy and Maria shot each other another glance.

"Joel..." Tommy started.

"What?" Joel snapped back, tension rising in his voice.

"Don't you think that's..." Tommy reached a hand behind his head and rubbed his hair, struggling to find a politically correct way to word his next statement.

"I dunno... just a bit... odd? Just a little strange? You two - sleepin' in the same bed?"

"Look I know - I know. I reckon I wasn't too fond of it at first either but..." Joel paused, then scratched his beard.

"But what?" Maria asked.

"You don't know what we've been through... what she's been through. That little girl and I we've... " Joel took a deep breath. "We've walked right through hell and out the other side... together, always. She hates bein' away from me."

He knew, deep inside, he hated being away from her just as much, if not more so. But he wasn't about to admit that to his brother and sister-in-law.

"She just - she needs me alright. I can't explain it... what we've been through - you'd understand."

Meanwhile, Ellie lay in bed, aching for Joel to come upstairs. She heard their voices below, but couldn't understand what they were saying. She tried to force her eyes open, waiting for Joel's arrival so she could peacefully fall asleep, but the weight of her eyelids and the sting of tiredness said otherwise, causing her to finally doze off.

"Well you can sure as hell try to explain it then," Tommy said.

"Tommy - " Maria said, gently placing her hand on his arm.

"Not now Tommy... 'nother time," Joel said, taking another sip of his whiskey. His alcohol tolerance was low, and this was the first time in almost a year since having any. He could already feel its effects going to work on his mind. He could feel his inhibitions lowering and his speech was beginning to slur.

"Alright then," Tommy let off. "'Least tell me how Marlene's doin'... haven't seen her in ages. She doin' alright?"

Joel's face immediately tensed and he simply stared at the center of the table with an unnerving look of fear and anger in his eyes, refusing to answer.

"Holy shit - I know that look... Joel what the fuck did you do? Tell me goddammit," Tommy said as he leaned his face closer to his brother.

"Tommy! Calm down will you!" Maria forcefully said through a whisper. "Ellie's trying to sleep."

Tommy glanced over at Maria, then back to Joel's overtly tensed face. It was turning red, and the alcohol flowing through his veins was quickly deteriorating his defenses. His eyes began to water with tears as he vividly remembered everything he was feeling while fighting his way to Ellie, saving her life, and thus, saving his.

"Joel - say somethin'... anything dammit," Tommy said as he leaned back and crossed his arms. "What the hell happened?"

Joel cleared his throat, then leaned back to look up the stairs, ensuring that Ellie wasn't all of a sudden standing at the top within earshot. He took a deep breath, wiped both eyes with a sleeve then scooted his chair closer to Tommy.

Tommy was in shock. He had never seen Joel like this. It scared him to see his older brother behaving in such a way.

"She's dead," Joel finally spoke.

"What!? What the fuck - how do you know?" Tommy said with an intense whisper.

Joel didn't respond, he slowly lifted his head until he finally made eye contact with Tommy. Neither Tommy nor Maria needed to hear another word. His look spoke louder than any words could.

"Oh no, no, no - why Joel... what the hell is wrong with you? Why!?" Maria said, ganging up on him with her husband.

Joel rubbed his hands over his face. "You don't understand... they - " he paused, then looked behind once more to make sure Ellie wasn't standing right behind him. "They were gonna kill her."

"What you mean kill her?" Tommy asked, his tone suddenly changing from anger to worried curiosity.

"Ellie she - her immunity. They had to take her..." Tears started to build in his eyes once again and he brought a clenched fist up to his chest, struggling to hold back a drunken sob. "They had to take her brain... Marlene said - she said it was the only way to get what they needed for the vaccine. Problem was - both of us nearly drowned gettin' there. Ellie was unconscious and they never even gave her a choice Tommy! They just drugged her up, prepped her for surgery - not thinkin' for a second 'bout what she would want." He brought a sleeve up again to wipe the tears from his eyes. "I told Marlene to find someone else."

"They were gonna kill her... I couldn't - there's no way. I promised her Tommy - I promised I would never let harm come to her."

Maria was taken aback by Joel's emotion and the slightest bit of tears formed in her eyes.

"So what the hell you do - just kill all the damn Fireflies on your way out?" Tommy asked sarcastically.

Joel didn't respond, he simply stared at Tommy and Maria, feeling himself getting backed into a corner.

"Christ Joel - holy shit," Tommy said, bringing both hands to his face as he stood up. He began to pace back and forth in the kitchen. "What the hell makes you think - " he stopped, and carefully chose his next words. "That you get to decide whether humanity is saved or not? That's ultimately what the fuck you just did - you know that?"

Joel could feel the alcohol in his blood getting stronger, his inhibitions were at an all time low. He shot up in anger and approached Tommy while Maria watched in shock, not wanting to get in between the fighting brothers.

"You have no idea what that little girl - " he stopped himself.

Maria rose to her feet and finally spoke up. "Oh my god."

"You love her."

Tommy's piercing gaze quickly shifted from his brother's face and immediately towards hers. "What did you just say?" he asked.

"Ellie - he loves her." She paused as she began to choke up. "He loves Ellie. He loves her like she were his own daughter."

Everything that Tommy had suspected since Joel and Ellie's arrival was confirmed. All of their actions, their speech patterns, everything they did together and now Maria's weighted words confirmed his belief. Ellie had become Joel's daughter. He knew what Sarah meant to Joel and it was abundantly clear what Ellie meant to him now. He realized Joel needed this little girl. She was the only thing keeping him alive. There was no way he could suffer through losing another daughter. Tommy saw what happened the first time, it nearly killed him, literally.

Tommy took a step back. "Joel - she ain't Sarah. She's not your - "

Joel gritted his teeth then stepped towards Tommy once more, pressing a pointed finger against his chest, interrupting him in the process. "You bite your goddamn tongue, don't you dare bring Sarah into this. What did you say to me last time? Your cause is your family now? Well same here boy... and by the way, you're wrong. You're dead wrong. That little girl _is_ my daughter, and I sure as hell _am_ her dad."

The sincerity and intensity in his eyes sent an eerie shiver down Tommy's spine. For the first time in his life, he was actually afraid of what Joel might do to him if he continued his sharp accusations. It was now completely clear what Ellie and Joel's relationship had become, and Tommy knew if he threatened it, even for a second, he was putting his own life in jeopardy.

"Get your damn finger off me," he said, smacking Joel's hand away. Joel used his own words against him and he let out a sigh. "I mean - shit... I guess I understand but... I can't believe ya killed all of 'em."

"Didn't have a choice," Joel said.

Tommy rubbed his brow with his fingers. "I reckon you're right - 'specially knowin' Marlene... goddamn - ya know I may never forgive you for this."

"I'm not askin' ya too," Joel said. He took another deep breath, preparing himself to drop the last piece of crucial information. "I only ask that ya don't say a word to Ellie. Not a goddamn word - both of you. Ya hear?"

Tommy and Maria immediately glared at him with the most judgmental stare he'd ever seen.

Maria took a step towards him. "She doesn't know? Joel... that's sick! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" she said, raising her voice.

Joel brought a finger to his lips. "Shhh! Keep your voice down god dammit. Look she - she can't know... not yet anyway. I'm gonna tell her I swear... just - just not now."

"Why the hell not? The fuck is wrong with you?... Man I thought I knew my brother." Tommy let out a sarcastic snicker. "Tssht - I don't know shit 'bout you anymore."

Joel took a step back, sifting through thought after thought as he attempted to find any explanation that would deem his actions reasonable.

"Look... if I told her, right now, she'd just - " Tears once again formed in his eyes. "She'd run away or - or worse... I just know it. I couldn't handle it. I'd lose her... I can't lose - " He struggled to hold back a sob, clenching his throat. "I can't lose another one." he sat back down in his chair and began to quietly weep.

Maria looked over at Tommy and her expression shifted from shock and frustration to care and worry. Somehow, in someway, a part of her understood where Joel was coming from. She was able to empathize with him and knelt beside him while she rubbed his back. Joel, surprised by her apparent understanding, lifted his head from his hands to meet her eyes. She had a look of concern and care.

"It'll be okay," she said. "We won't say a word, I promise," she continued, then looked over to Tommy. "Right?"

Tommy simply nodded.

"But Joel... listen to me. She has to know. You have to tell her. You took - " She paused, trying to soften her words. "When you two were here last, she told me how important this was to her, her chance to save... everyone - all of us. This was her _purpose._ "

Joel twinged at her last statement, slightly upset he hadn't become Ellie's purpose, like she was for him. But that was before winter, before their relationship really became what it was now.

"Now all of that is... gone. You have to tell her, you have to."

Joel sniffled. "Yeah - I know... just not yet."

"That's fine... but eventually she needs to know, alright?" Maria continued.

"Yep."

Tommy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, taken aback by Maria's compassion. He sighed, then finally spoke, assuring Joel that Maria's promise would hold.

"I won't say anything. I swear. Like I said... my cause is my family now, and you're part of that. By extension then, so is that little girl upstairs. I'll keep quiet - promise."

Joel looked up at his brother, relieved to hear his words and smiled. "We gotta be mindful of her... condition. Can't let the others know, might scare 'em or somethin'... I dunno."

"Yeah - right 'bout that. We'll keep quiet, we swear," Tommy said.

Maria looked at her watch and her eyes widened when she saw the time. "Wow okay - lets all get some sleep. Exhausting past hour here and we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. We'll see you in the morning, c'mon Tommy."

Joel nodded, rose to his feet and made his way up the stairs. He prayed he would merely find Ellie fast asleep and not awake, fuming with anger from overhearing their discussion.

There she was, curled up under the blanket lightly snoring. The sight brought a tear to his eye. He loved his baby girl so much, the thought of losing her was something he simply couldn't bare. He approached the edge of the bed and sat down next to her while he rubbed her shoulder. She suddenly inhaled and her eyes popped open.

"Oh... hey you," she groggily said. "What's - what's wrong?" She noticed the redness of his eyes.

He quickly wiped them with a hand. "Oh - nothin' just tired. That's all... reckon I need some sleep."

"Has it been long?" she asked.

"Nah - was just playin' some more poker," he responded with an exhale while lowering himself onto his side of the bed.

He rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, waiting for the weight and warmth of Ellie's small frame to sidle up next to him. But it didn't happen. She remained on her side and was even facing away from him. All he could see was her pony tail sticking out over the edge of her pillow. He knew something was wrong, and he knew exactly what it was. He lied to her, and she knew it. Now, telling her the truth, was even more difficult.

Ellie didn't say another word. She laid on her side and felt Joel ease himself onto the bed. She yearned to snuggle up next to him, like she'd become so used to, but she wouldn't. She couldn't. She was still upset, angry, torn and most of all, hurt from his earlier lie, robbing her of her independence and _purpose_. A lone tear ran down her cheek as she made every attempt not to cry.

She knew he wasn't playing poker, and she knew, right now, he lied to her again.


	2. Chapter 2

Joel lifted his heavy eyelids open. He could hear birds chirping outside and saw a sliver of sunlight shining through a crack in the curtains that hung over the window. He didn't feel the usual presence of Ellie lying up against him. Instead, she remained on the opposite side facing away from him. He tried to not let her emotional distance bother him while he attempted to fall asleep, because he was sure she would snuggle up to him eventually, but she never did. Having her nuzzled into his shoulder as he awoke became just as much a part of his morning routine as the simple act of opening his eyes were. Again, he tried to brush it off, but couldn't ignore the fact that it bothered him, even if just slightly.

He lifted himself up and placed his feet on the floor. Peering through the barely separated curtains he could make out people, normal people like him and Ellie, walking down the road through the village. He rubbed his tired eyes, stood up and stretched his muscles awake as he yawned. It felt very strange, to wake up and not have a plan, to have nothing that he and Ellie _must_ do. There was no more traveling, no more packing everything up in the morning, no more taking stock of canned food, no more scrounging for bullets and supplies that were needed for survival. It was bizarre to him and he felt restless as he pondered what to do with himself. As he tied the laces on his boots, he looked up at Ellie peacefully sleeping. Despite sensing the now forming distance between them, he couldn't help but smile. She could now, just maybe, finally live a semi-normal life. He was glad to know she could sleep in without worry of what was coming next, without worry of whether the two of them would still be breathing the next day. It tickled his heart knowing she might even find happiness in the small amount of good that remained in this cruel world.

 _Happiness._

As he rose from his kneeling posture, a sense of warmth filled him. Although they saw their journey through to completion, his sense of purpose hadn't waned. If anything, it became reinforced and strengthened. His baby girl's well-being, safety and happiness were still of the utmost importance. He was now one-hundred percent intent on raising her as his own daughter and at that moment, he realized nothing else mattered, not even his own happiness. Maria's words rang like a bell inside his head.

 _Oh my god. You love her._

He certainly did, more than life itself, and he was going to ensure he raised her in a way that exemplified that fact.

The thought of his lie once again lurched its way to the front of his mind, causing him to cringe. It was the only thing that stood between Ellie and himself, but it felt like an impenetrable, one-thousand foot wall. And just like a wall of that size, it was going to be treacherous to conquer. No matter which way he took, whether he went through, around, or over it, the act itself was going to be painful.

One of his favorite aromas wafted up the stairs into the bedroom and he could hear footsteps below in the kitchen.

 _Coffee,_ he thought to himself.

He made is way down the steps and saw Tommy and Maria sitting at the table drinking some of the hot beverage.

"Mornin'," they said in unison. "Coffee?"

Joel scratched his beard. "Hell yeah - thanks."

Maria stood up and poured him a cup. Joel felt the heat from the mug immediately dissipate into his cold, callused hands. He took a whiff of the wonderful morning beverage then a sip, savoring the flavor and warming sensation.

"Man - that's good. I haven't had coffee in... awhile - since Ellie made me some one mornin' actually."

"She made you some? While you were traveling? Did she even know how?" Maria asked in surprise.

"Yeah - yeah she did. She woke up early one mornin' and - " He paused, remembering the sickening feeling that devoured him when he thought, even for just a second, he lost her. "She sneaked outta bed and made me some - found a can of Folgers in some gas station the day before." The memory brought a smile to his face.

Maria snickered. "That's cute."

"She's pretty damn resourceful - that little girl, ain't she?" Tommy rhetorically asked.

"You got no idea," Joel said, easing himself into a chair at the table. "She's tough as nails - I'll tell ya that much."

"I've gathered," Tommy replied.

"Yep - just before we crossed the border into Utah, we had to fight off 'bout... I dunno - say twenty or so Infected?" He took another sip of his coffee, puckered his lips then continued his story. "I gave her my rifle and she... man she was good. Saved my ass countless times - I reckon she didn't miss once."

"Huh, no shit? I shouldn't underestimate her then," Tommy said.

"Heh... be wise not too little brother," Joel said with a slight snicker. "She uhh... she hates it when people think - ya know - like she's incapable... of anything really."

Maria laughed. "Yeah - I can relate to that."

Tommy took his last sip of coffee then set his mug on the table. "Yet... she needs you, yeah?" he asked pointedly.

Maria glared at him.

The underlying tone behind his words caused Joel's mood to sour, but he tried to restrain his sharp tongue in order to respond in a calm reaction. He took another sip of his coffee.

"Like I said... after what we've been through - what'd you expect? 'Sides... we all got our vices," Joel responded, staring back at Tommy.

Maria cupped her mug with both hands, brought it to her lips and took another sip. "Well... I don't think it's just a vice. That's pretty obvious, Joel," she said.

Joel awkwardly ran a hand through his hair in reaction to Maria's comment. She was powerfully intuitive and perceptive, just like Ellie. Her comment cut straight through any facade he put forward that tried to mask the truth within him. He felt if he could lie to himself, that Ellie didn't actually love him as her father, he could convince himself of it until he accepted it as truth. That would make losing her, his worst fear, if he were to finally come clean, much less painful. He did a terrible job of hiding his true emotions though. He never was a good liar, except when it came to poker.

He failed to muster any verbal response and simply let out a sigh just before taking another sip of coffee. He then looked to Tommy, eager to change the subject.

"So - what's the game plan for today? Gonna give us the tour?"

Tommy nodded. "Yep, we'll show ya around - talk about what ya'll will be doin' 'round here... then I reckon we gotta find you a place of your own. Maria and I got one in mind, we'll show you later this evenin'."

Joel set his empty mug on the table. "I appreciate that thank you... and thank you, Maria... for the coffee. Not sure how you got your hands on it but I ain't one to complain."

"No problem... and it's a bit like alcohol. We come across it every once in awhile - try not to blast through it."

"I can understand that," Joel said.

"Are you hungry? Will Ellie want something to eat when she wakes up? I can throw something together, I don't mind - or maybe just some toast?" Maria kindly offered.

"Oh - uhh... well to be honest... Ellie and I... don't think we're used to eatin' in the morning right when we get up - never really did that. I reckon it might be good to go easy for the first few days - don't wanna over do it right away - make us sick ya know? A bit of toast would be fine, though, thank you. "

"Yep - I totally understand. I'll make some right now," Maria replied.

"Appreciate it... Ellie does too - even if - " Maria cut him off. "I know, don't need to say more," she said with a smile.

"Yeah... but damn, you got electricity an' even a toaster?" Joel said with a muffled laugh. "Funny how we took things like that for granted back in the day huh?"

"Yep - life's funny that way," Tommy responded.

Joel stood up and headed for the stairs. "I'ma wake Ellie up - be right back."

* * *

Ellie's eyes peeled themselves open from her restless sleep. She still felt tired and knew she didn't sleep well. Her mind raced about after Joel joined her upstairs in the middle of the night, the thought of his lie constantly scratching at her conscience. She struggled with the battle that raged within her. She so desperately wanted to sidle up next to him, thus giving her the comfort she needed for a good night's sleep, but she refused to do it. She remembered feeling hurt, angry and distrusting of him as she lay awake trying to doze off. She still felt an undeniable need and longing for her father, but remained inexplicably bitter. After sleeping on it though, the intensity of her rage had dissolved. She remained upset and slightly angry with him, but her animosity now consisted of a few smoldering embers as opposed to a blaze of hell fire. This was their life now, their new home. She knew that, eventually, getting over this bump in their relationship was a must. Even if it meant her simply accepting his lie and moving on.

She turned her head, hoping to see him lying opposite her on the bed, but he wasn't. Her heart suddenly skipped a beat, then she heard the bellow of his deep voice from downstairs. She knew he was still here and the sudden shot of adrenaline already began to fade. She let out a deep exhale and wondered what to do with herself. The lack of urgency and frankly, purpose, left her feeling empty. There was nothing that needed to be done right at this moment and the lack of unknown, ironically, was unsettling. In a way, there was still unknown in terms of what this new life would hold for her and Joel, but it was nothing compared to the unknown of whether or not they would be living to see the next sunrise.

She heard Joel's footsteps as he walked up the stairs. She saw him enter the room and forced a smile. She wanted to forgive him, but wasn't sure how, or if it were even possible yet.

"Hey - there she is," he said, approaching her side of the bed. "Scoot."

She shifted slightly to the left, giving him just enough space to sit down next to her.

"How'd ya sleep?" he asked, brushing her usual lock of hair with his finger.

"Not great," she tersely responded.

Joel pulled his hand away in reaction. He was hoping after a good night's rest and a chance to sleep on it, the unusually cold aura she was exuding would have diminished.

"Ah - too bad. Couldn't get comfortable?" he asked, knowing full well that she knew what he was referring to.

"Yeah - something like that." She stretched her arms up, let out her trademark morning squeal then sighed. "This is weird..." she said.

"You mean... not havin' anything we gotta do?"

"Yeah - it's... I dunno, strange. I guess that's good though right?"

"I reckon it is - but pretty soon Tommy we'll tell us what we're doin'... give us some work to do."

"Man I hope so... otherwise I'll get fucking bored," Ellie said as she brought herself to a sitting posture.

Joel snickered at her blunt honesty. "Yeah - well... beats gettin' chased by Infected or... hunters."

"Tssh - no shit... so what'r we doing today?"

"Tommy's gonna give us the tour... fill us in on stuff for work. I heard Maria mention somethin' 'bout taking you to see some of the other kids."

Ellie crossed her arms over her knees. She didn't have much interest in anyone that wasn't Joel. "Oh... what will you be doing then?"

"Not sure - somethin' with Tommy probably... then later in the evening we're gonna go see a house."

"For us!?" Ellie asked with excitement. Her head perked up at the thought. She was about to finally have a home of her own. A multitude of images and thoughts ran through her head. What struck her the most, though, was the fact that Joel, her father, was involved in every single one. Each time she envisioned living a life without him in the picture, she became sad. Once again, her gut was telling her something she had yet to fully accept. She didn't just need him, she _loved_ him.

"That's right," Joel replied with a smile, running a hand through her auburn hair. "Maria made us some food."

"Oh... but I'm not really hungry I - I don't think I could even eat right now, it doesn't sound all that great," Ellie said with a blush.

"I know - I know... same here to be honest. It's just what our stomachs are used to I guess - but I reckon we should get in the habit of eatin' breakfast... just start small. It's only a bit of toast anyway," Joel responded with sympathy.

He got up and opened the curtains which covered the window. Sunlight completely bathed the room with a late spring glow.

Ellie reluctantly flipped her legs over the edge of the bed. "Alright - I think I can do that. Lemme get my shoes on."

* * *

Ellie's stomach growled and gurgled as the four of them walked down the narrow road during Tommy's tour. Eating this early in the morning was completely foreign, and she forced herself to choke down the one piece of toast. She looked over at Joel and placed her hand over her stomach and gave him a saddened look with her eyes. He patted his stomach and nodded back to her, acknowledging he was feeling the same way. Maria noticed their sly interaction.

"Everything okay? You two alright?" she asked with genuine concern in her voice.

Joel immediately spoke up, saving Ellie from any embarrassment. "Yeah - yeah we're fine. It's nothin'."

They both tried to focus on Tommy's voice, distracting them from the uncomfortable sensations within their stomachs.

"An' here is the last guard tower. Don't see much action on this end to be honest - pretty quiet. To our left you can see all the crops we grow. It ain't a whole lot, but it's enough for what we need here."

Ellie and Joel looked to their left, curious to see where their food would be grown from. They were instantly impressed with the organization and size of the crop field. It stretched all the way to the base of a hill that bordered the backside of the compound. The variety of colors, sizes and features of each plant was bizarre to see. It reminded Joel of rural Kansas and Oklahoma, before the outbreak, and it was something entirely new to Ellie. The concept of eating fresh food, pulled directly from the ground, was incredibly strange to her.

"To the right here is most of the supply shops. Gunsmith, tailors for clothing, and well, everything else we need basically. The residential area is back behind us, that's where everyone pretty much lives."

"Man - you guys got your shit covered," Ellie said bluntly.

Tommy laughed at the little girl's choice of words. "Yes ma'am. We sure do."

Ellie smiled upon hearing Tommy refer to her as "ma'am," it meant he was beginning to respect her, as an adult.

"And here at the end is the area for the kids. We try to - ya know... give 'em as normal of a childhood as we can here. At the same time though... once they reach about eight or nine - we start teachin' 'em the basics about survival and workin' around here - just the way it is now."

Ellie grabbed Joel's hand and tightly held it. She saw a large pack of children, with a wide range of ages, talking and playing in a small fenced off area. Her heart raced and she began to nervously sweat. The emotional and psychological damage from the past painful and difficult year made connecting with anyone other than Joel daunting. Humanity demonstrated to her how cruel and unforgiving it could be, and the mere thought of trying to relate with other people terrified her. Most of all, she knew, in just a few short minutes, she would temporarily split ways with her father. It would be the first time they separated from each other since the ambush by the hunters outside of Kremmling, and that alone scared her. She remembered what happened the last time they were here when they separated. She wasn't happy about it one bit.

Joel could feel Ellie's small hand grip around his fingers. It surprised him and he immediately glanced down to see if she was okay. She slowly pulled herself closer to him, pressing the side of her head against his arm. He could feel her palm begin to sweat and sensed she was nervous. He couldn't tell if she was uneasy about merely having to interact with new people her age, or if she was nervous about the thought of being away from him.

 _Poor baby girl. No fourteen-year-old should ever have to feel this way, ever,_ he thought to himself.

Maria turned around at the entrance and extended her arm for Ellie to come join her. She saw Ellie tightly stuck to Joel's side, holding his hand.

 _Wow, they really do need each other,_ she thought to herself.

Joel knelt down and placed his hand on Ellie's shoulder. He could see her eyes begin to well up. He tried to convince himself otherwise, but deep down he knew it was because they were temporarily parting ways for the morning. She let out a sniffle, trying not to cry.

"Hey, hey - hey now, what's this? C'mere - it'll be okay," he said, placing one hand behind her head, beneath her pony tail. "It won't be for long, I'm not goin' anywhere - I'll be waitin' for ya, I swear," he assured her with a smile.

She wanted to completely believe him, but his earlier lie kept her at bay.

"But Joel..." she said, looking into his eyes. It was that same look again, the look when they arrived here back in the fall.

"Go on - make some new friends yeah? Can't spend your whole life around an old man like me," he said with a wink, wiping the one, lone tear off her cheek that managed to escape from her eye. "It's okay - Maria will introduce ya - go on kiddo."

Her inner five-year-old child was climbing its way to her throat. She wanted to stammer, as if in a temper tantrum, that she wanted him, not Maria, to be with her. She wanted her father, no one else, even though she knew Maria had the best of intentions.

She brought both sleeves up to wipe her eyes then sighed. "Ugh - okay fine. You better not be long though."

He smiled, brushed her hair and reassured her. "We won't - promise."

Ellie reluctantly approached Maria, who guided her to a large of group of children that were joking and talking among themselves. Ellie shyly stood a few feet away from the pack and checked once more that her sleeves were pulled all the way down, ensuring the scar that marred her arm remained hidden.

"Everyone - please welcome our newest member: Ellie. Say hi Ellie!" Maria spoke to the crowd, presenting Ellie in the process.

Ellie blushed and her breathing intensified, not used to the combined attention of a crowd of other adolescents.

"Hi Ellie," the intimidating crowd spoke in unison.

Ellie slowly waved her hand and let loose a quiet peep of a greeting. "Hey - everyone I'm - I'm Ellie," she then immediately wrapped her hands around her elbows, encasing herself in her own space.

Maria leaned over and placed her hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Okay - I'm going back with Joel and Tommy now. You going to be okay here?"

Ellie nodded. Maria could tell she was uncomfortable, but knew it was Ellie's nature to not give in.

"Okay - have fun, relax and enjoy yourself. We'll be back in a bit."

Maria turned around and walked away, meeting up with Joel and Tommy. Ellie's fear of abandonment and being alone crept its way into her veins. Suddenly, a boy who looked a few years older than she was, confidently approached her. He stuck out his hand, offering a hand shake. "Hi, I'm Sean. It's nice to meet you, Ellie."

Ellie cautiously lurched her hand forward to his and shook it. She took a deep breath and tried to squash the nervous feelings that encompassed her entire body. She immediately put on her tough-as-nails facade and displayed her usual confidence.

"Sean? Likewise... I guess," she responded, firmly gripping his hand in the process.

Sean looked straight into her eyes, causing her to blush. There was something mysterious about him, something that sparked her curiosity, but there was also something dark, something not trustworthy about him. She was unsure how she felt about him. Her usually sharp intuition only got her just over halfway in deciphering his true intentions. That, along with his piercing gaze, made her uncomfortable. She darted her eyes away from his and looked back over to Joel walking away in the distance.

Then, she saw the same woman from yesterday approach him and Tommy. All of the same feelings from before flooded into her heart and Sean's presence suddenly became an afterthought, a mere side-effect of the situation at hand. Her stomach started to churn, and every fiber in her body yearned to run over to her father and plaster herself to his side. She tried to focus her hearing in their direction, but it was to no avail, she couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Tommy, why don't you introduce me to your new friend here," the woman spoke, as she approached the two brothers and Maria.

Tommy snickered. "Michelle - this ain't just some new friend. This here is my brother, Joel. Joel, Michelle. Michelle, Joel."

"Pleasure to meet you," Michelle said, as she shook his hand.

"Likewise." Joel responded.

"Was just givin' him the tour. Gonna talk about duties and what not - he's a hell of a shot," Tommy said.

"Alright - alright... easy now," Joel said, trying to be modest.

"Walk with us Michelle?" Tommy asked.

"Sure."

Joel and Maria strode side by side about ten feet in front of Tommy and Michelle, each pair engaged in their own conversation.

"So - what's the story with him?" Michelle asked.

"Joel? He's my brother - just came back from - " Tommy stopped himself, not wanting to divulge any information that Joel wouldn't approve of. "He traveled from Boston - good to have him here."

"Ah, alright. He's pretty... umm... gruff. If you know what I mean..."

Tommy laughed to himself. "You got that right."

An awkward silence fell between them.

"Who's the little girl with him?"

Tommy ran his hand through his hair, sensing where Michelle was guiding the conversation.

"Ellie. She's - " He paused, realizing he was about to say these words out loud for the first time. "She's his daughter." It felt weird.

"Oh," Michelle said solemnly, she could sense that Tommy was aware of her intentions, but pressed on regardless. "What about... you know, mom? I mean - I... I didn't see a ring on his finger."

Tommy gave her a perplexed look in reaction to her tone, unsure of what to say. "It's... it's a long damn story... but no - there ain't no mother. Just him, just her."

"I see."

Tommy cleared his throat.

"Look Michelle - I know what you're gettin' at, an' if it's what you want I ain't gonna stop ya. But I reckon it won't be easy. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if that part of him is... well... dead and long gone. Far as he's concerned, Ellie is all that matters. Nothing else."

"We all gotta get wrangled up at some point though right?" Michelle rhetorically asked in a half-serious tone.

"Tssh - I reckon he already is... just in a different way."

Michelle offered no words in response and simply bit her lower lip.

Tommy yelled to his brother in front of him.

"Joel! What'd ya think? Like what ya saw?"

Him and Maria stopped and turned around. "Well... yeah Tommy. Hell yeah - like you said... gives us all a second chance here."

Maria placed her hand on his arm. "We were thinking with your experience in construction, you could be part of the builders. You know - keep everything repaired and running around here. Might feel good to get back to doing something you remember from... before. Sound okay?"

"And Ellie?" Joel immediately asked, catching Michelle's ears.

Maria looked over to Tommy. "Well - we thought... she'd want to work with some of the other kids."

"Alright, that could work," Joel responded, though part of him knew Ellie wouldn't like it.

"There's one thing though..." Tommy continued.

"Yep?"

"We're gonna need ya to do a guard tower shift during the night and uhh... I reckon Ellie can't join ya for that."

Agitation built within Joel. His desire to protect Ellie at all costs urged him to agree with Tommy. He didn't want her in a tower with him, thus putting her at risk. However, he knew she wouldn't dare want to be left alone during the night, when she would have to sleep. She would be irate with him if she knew he willingly chose to separate from her during the night, something he was well aware of. At the end of the day, leaving her alone would hurt her more than putting her in potential danger in a guard tower. That was, after all, her greatest fear and if she were in a tower, at least she would be with him, where she was safest.

He let out a deep exhale.

"Tommy - at night she stays with me. I can't make it any clearer than that. You put us where you want - but you put us together," he insisted.

Tommy sighed and rubbed his brow with his fingers.

"I told you how good a shot she is... she ain't a liability, trust me," Joel said on Ellie's behalf.

"Alright... only cause your my goddamn brother."

Joel simply nodded in concurrence.

"Lets keep goin' - I'll show ya which tower you two will be at," Tommy said, pointing far off in the distance.

Joel and Maria continued walking down the road and just before following them, Michelle looked at Tommy and spoke once more.

"You weren't kidding, were you?"

"Nope."

* * *

Ellie sat on top of a picnic table with her knees brought to her chest. She rested her chin on them as she slowly rocked back and forth, eagerly awaiting for Joel's return. A few minutes following her awkward introduction, the rest of the kids went back to doing what they were before. Ellie felt like an outsider, as if she weren't welcome, even though it was all in her head. After she spotted Michelle approach Joel and Tommy, nothing else interested her and she simply sat on the bench humming to herself, never letting her gaze leave the road. Sean made a persistent effort to get to know her, and he sat on the other side of the table periodically attempting to engage her in conversation. Occasionally she would respond, if she felt like it, but her answers were terse and without emotion. She only wanted one thing, and that was to be with her father.

She was surprised to discover how much she still needed him. This was the first time in awhile in which they were separated and she didn't like it. It made her nervous, like something was about to go wrong, and she worried that just maybe, he wouldn't come back for her. She still felt so hurt and angry at him over his horrid lie, but she needed him at the same time. The concept of love briefly entered her mind, but she once again dismissed it, not knowing how to dissect the feeling. How could she love someone who evoked such strong feelings of hate? Then she remembered Riley. She hated her for leaving her alone in Boston, but she loved her. She loved her more than anything. This realization sent a tingle through Ellie's heart, maybe she did love Joel as her father. The thought left her mind as quick as it entered.

"So Ellie... you still never told me where you're from," Sean spoke.

Ellie immediately perked up, but not for the reason he was hoping for. She saw Joel's figure in the distance. Tommy and Maria were to his right and then her heart skipped a beat when she saw who stood to his left. It was that woman again. Seeing her next to him only made her nerves ache even more for his presence.

She got up from the picnic table and began to hastily make her way out. "Umm... another time. Nice meeting you," she said over her shoulder.

Joel could see Ellie's tiny figure rapidly approaching them and he quickened his pace to meet her.

"There's my baby girl!" he said with wide open arms.

Those words made Ellie's heart flutter, like they always did, and she dove her face into his torso, wrapping her arms around him. She saw Michelle approaching them with Tommy and Maria and she gripped his shirt tighter.

Joel could tell she missed him, and he'd be lying if he thought he didn't miss her just as much. He felt Ellie grab his hand with hers as she stood tightly next to him. Something was off, he could tell. Yesterday she was as distant as he'd ever seen, yet today she was extra needy. He didn't understand why. Though he enjoyed feeling her close to him, he worried that something went wrong while he was away which was responsible for evoking such behavior. He reached down and brushed the lock of hair behind her ear.

"How was it?"

"Pssht - I dunno... alright I guess."

Joel laughed. "That bad huh? Well alright then."

Michelle was now within greeting distance and she introduced herself. Ellie wrapped her other arm around Joel's in reaction, causing him to notice her wariness.

"Hi, I'm Michelle - Ellie right?"

"Yep - nice to meet you," Ellie responded tersely.

Michelle had long, jet black hair with a dark complexion. She was tall and wore a pair of black boots along with blue jeans. She donned a beautiful silver necklace that had a sapphire pendant hanging in the center. The gem glistened in the afternoon sun, catching Ellie's eyes.

"I like your necklace," Ellie said.

"Oh - thanks. My mother gave it to me," Michelle responded, rubbing her fingers over the sapphire gem.

There was something about her eyes that made Ellie nervous. It was as if this woman's gaze pierced right through her and it made her uncomfortable. Like Sean, there was something that made her uneasy. Her intuition said so, she just couldn't pinpoint it yet.

"You two ready to see your new home?" Tommy asked.

"Fuck yeah!" Ellie exclaimed. Tommy's suggestion instantly piqued her interest.

Michelle let out a laugh and excused herself. "Alright, I'll let you all be - gotta head home."

"Okay - see ya Michelle," Maria responded.

Ellie looked up at Joel and they both realized what was about to happen. They would finally get to see their new home.

* * *

"Here we are," Tommy said.

Ellie loosened her grip on Joel's hand and ran to the front steps of the house. It was a small, two story home with a porch and a bench swing, just like Tommy and Maria's. A porch light hung on the ceiling at the center which illuminated the area in the waning sunlight. The house was in great condition. It was white with wooden paneling and had two windows on the second story overlooking the street. Ellie turned around and looked at Joel with a shocked look, as if she were struggling to believe this was now theirs, that this was their home.

She looked at Tommy and Maria. "Can we?" she asked.

Tommy snickered. "Of course, it's yours. Go on inside," he said, motioning Joel to follow Ellie.

Ellie ran up the steps and opened the front door. She walked inside and noticed a plush, black couch sitting against the wall in the living room. To the left was the kitchen and a small, four person dining table. The counter tops were covered in dust and weren't nearly as nice as the ones she and Joel discovered in the country home back in Colorado, but it didn't matter. This was their new home and she finally had a place to claim as her own. She ran into the kitchen and rubbed her fingers over the dust covered counter tops.

"Woah - Joel do you see this!?" she asked with excitement.

"I sure do. It's ours - what ya think?"

"So fucking cool," she responded, gazing in awe at every nook and cranny that existed. She wanted to explore and learn every part of their new home.

Joel's heart melted when he saw how excited and happy his little girl was. He savored every second of this moment. Watching her excitedly run around inspecting their new den warmed him to the core. He loved seeing her this happy and only hoped he could keep her that way. He turned around as his eyes started to well up.

"Thank you Tommy, Maria. Thank you. I - I don't know what to say."

"I told ya - you always have a place here. We'll let you two get settled in. Maria will come on by a bit later with some food for tonight - then tomorrow we can get ya stocked up with whatever we can."

Joel sniffled, rubbed his eyes then nodded. "Again, thank you."

"Hey - you two are family, remember?" Maria playfully said.

"Good night Joel," Tommy said, before he and Maria made their way back home.

Joel shut the front door and took a deep breath. He saw Ellie still inspecting every inch of the first floor with amazement.

"Welcome home kiddo."

His voice immediately drew her attention and she ran over to embrace him. She looked up and her eyes began to well with tears.

"I've never... never had an actual home before. This is awesome."

Joel simply smiled and messed with her hair then pulled her closer to him. "Wanna check out the upstairs?"

Ellie nodded in agreement and she ran up the steps. There was a bathroom and two bedrooms along the hallway that extended to the rear of the house. The hardwood floor was a dark, walnut color and creaked with every step due to its age.

Joel cleared his throat, then stated the obvious. "It's uhh... even got two bedrooms."

"Heh... yeah," Ellie responded awkwardly, sensing the underlying motive behind his words.

Now that it was just the two of them again, her feelings of anger and distrust were in the front of her mind. When other's were around, her instinctual feelings, her gut feelings, which urged her to be near him took control. But when it was just them, it was as if she actually tried to keep the negative feelings in focus, like she felt some sort of obligation to do so. She couldn't deny how happy she was in this very moment, though. She was in a place she could finally call home, with her father.

Joel placed an arm around her shoulder. "Unpack our things, then I'll cook us up somethin'?"

She looked up at him and couldn't help but smile.

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

After eating dinner and talking on the couch for the rest of the evening, they headed upstairs for sleep. As they both ascended the steps, the knowledge that a decision would have to be made taunted them. Joel stopped in front of the doorway to the first bedroom, unsure of what Ellie would do.

Her heart willed her to stay plastered to his side, to stay with him. She knew she would have trouble sleeping if she didn't, but she was compelled not to. Her anger pushed her away from him and forced her to continue down the hallway. He was beginning to interpret her periodic moments of distance as methods of communication. He felt she was trying to gain some sense of independence back, as if she became too dependent on him.

"Good night," he said.

Ellie stopped, as every cell in her body yearned to hear the usual two words that followed when he wished her good night, but they never came. Her stomach churned and her eyes began to well up. Without turning around she responded.

"Good night."

They each plopped themselves down on their respective beds, frustrated with the awkward moment.

Joel sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. A part of him truly missed his daughter's warming presence, something he became so used to when it was time to doze off to sleep. However, if sleeping alone and thus giving her a new sense of independence made her happy, he didn't mind. Ultimately, that was most important. He rolled over on his side and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly. He was restless though and his mind danced about, obsessing over his lie to his daughter and the underlying tension between them.

Ellie tossed and turned under the sheets. She was experiencing many emotions at once and the multitude of feelings was overpowering. Falling asleep soon was far from imminent as an endless string of thoughts darted through her mind. Why didn't Joel utter his usual good night? Who really is Michelle and why is she entering their lives? Would Joel ever come clean with his lie and tell her the truth? Why did he lie? Would they now forever sleep apart? She didn't know what to do, and the stress from each thought weighed her down to the point of feeling crushed. She closed her eyes and prayed she would doze off. Instead, a wave of sadness washed over her and a tear ran down her cheek, staining the pillow case beneath her head. Her heart willed her to be with him, but her mind kept telling herself no.

After two, painfully long hours, she finally fell asleep, but only after a few more tears dripped from her eyelids onto her pillow. It would be her first night's sleep away from her father, and in almost a year, her first night being alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Because I forgot to put this in either of the first two chapters, I will state it here:** _ **I do not take credit for any of the characters or content from the Last of Us as it is the property of Naughty Dog.**_

 **Also, to the readers who seem to be "nervous" about what I will be doing with these new characters, I don't want to give too much away, but I will say this: Please don't worry, and I beg you not to jump to conclusions and I hope that you will keep reading. I will of course, do my best to keep you intrigued! Just trust me. ;) At some point I will leave a note explaining my thought process and where I was coming from in terms of some of things that will happen later.**

 **Thank you everyone again for the feedback and for reading! This is a shorter one, but here's chapter three, enjoy.**

* * *

A full moon stood high in the midnight sky above Jackson. The brisk, nighttime air rushed against Ellie's cheeks as she ran back home. Every nerve ending in her body tingled with anticipation, she couldn't get there fast enough. She knew her father was waiting for her, and somehow she forgave him for his lie. Yet, he didn't know, it was why she was sprinting home, eager to tell him. She couldn't wait to finally get over this massive bump in the road when it came to their relationship.

There it was, her home, no more than forty feet in front of her. She slowed her pace to catch her breath and felt an intense gust of wind blow through her auburn hair. For some reason, even though it was summer, it caused goosebumps to rise on her skin. She watched the bench on the porch sway back and forth from the blowing wind. Wind chimes from a home across the road rang after each gust. The wind through the trees and the song of the chimes were the only sounds she could hear as her senses peaked from the adrenaline that filled her blood. A faint light glowed from one room through the window of her home. It was the only sign of life, but she knew Joel had to be in there.

Then, all of a sudden, one lone gunshot crackled from the inside, causing her to immediately jolt forward and run once again.

 _No, no, no - Joel. Please no,_ she thought to herself. She feared the worst.

As she ran up the steps onto the porch she prayed to herself everything was okay, that the gunshot was somehow meaningless and harmless in every way. She ripped open the front door and lunged inside. The living room was a mess, all of their things were strung across the floor as if someone had thrown a rage filled temper tantrum, wrecking everything in their path. She looked over to the edge of the kitchen, where the linoleum floor met the living room carpet, and could see a trickle of blood flowing forward. Her heart stopped and her insides twisted into a knot until her stomach ached. She knew it was Joel's, and the thought made her want to throw up. She could feel her arms and legs begin to shake from fear and nervousness as she slowly rounded the corner into the kitchen. There he was, sitting on the floor with his legs in front of him, leaning against the cabinet below the sink.

"No, no, no! Joel! Oh god!"

Ellie let out a squeal as tears immediately filled her green eyes. She dropped to her knees and crawled over to his lifeless body. Blood oozed from his gunshot wound that left a gaping hole in the side of his head. She looked down and noticed his revolver tightly grasped in his dead fingers.

She began to uncontrollably sob as she embraced his corpse. She held the back of his head and brought his chin to her shoulder as she wept into his hair.

"Please Joel - no... why!?" Tears streamed down her cheeks as she clutched her father's body.

She pulled his bloodied head away and held the back of it with her small, cupped, pair of hands.

"C'mon - wake up. Wake up - I know you're still there. Wake up - please... please," she begged

"Please! Wake up!" she screamed, then let out an intense sob as she squeezed her eyes, feeling more tears pour out.

"You - you promised you'd never leave me. You promised!" she yelled, diving her face into his shoulder. "You promised..." Her voice trailed off.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, holding back the next wave of convulsive sobs. A few minutes went by as she wept onto his shirt. Every memory, every experience and every thing that the two of them fought through ran across her mind like a fast-forwarded movie. She remembered the first time they met in Boston, when Marlene placed her in his protection. She remembered laughing with him in Pittsburgh as she read from her joke book. She remembered their argument in the ranch house back in the fall. She remembered saving him from the brink of death. She remembered when he found her, in that blazing building as she hacked away at the monster which tried to rape her, and how caring he was as he nurtured her back to health. Most of all, she remembered one thing, he was always there for her. He never left her side. He never abandoned her, and she was, never, ever, alone.

The string of thoughts only made her more desperate and she continued to beg for his body to come back to life, aching to see even a twitch of a finger.

"You can't die - after everything we've been through... I'm not letting you go. C'mon... I know you're there. Wake up Joel! Wake up!" She kissed him on top of the head, hoping to bring his soul back into his body, bringing him back to her.

"It's my turn now - you've protected me forever. It's my turn to protect you - I'm not letting go until you come back to me. Please come back to me! Please! Please!"

She pleaded through her painful cries, but it was no use. She still couldn't feel the beat of his heart through his chest. He really was dead, gone for good.

She shook him by the shoulders. His head bobbled back and forth as his neck limply gave into her shaking. His eyes gazed up at the ceiling as a partially dried tear trail lined both of his cheeks.

She cleared her throat then looked into his lifeless eyes.

"Don't leave me - alone - " She tried to hold back the next sob, but couldn't as she spoke this word for the first time. "Dad."

Saying it opened the flood gates and the intensity of her sorrow heightened as she wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing herself against his corpse, desperately begging for him to return to her.

"Daddy please! Please Daddy! Daddy come back! Come back!" she stammered, flailing her tiny fists into his chest.

Her tears dripped from her chin and created a small puddle in the wrinkle of his flannel shirt.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! No... please..."

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and noticed the amount of his blood that collected on her hands. It was dead silent in the house and all she could hear was the wind gusting outside. There wasn't a single person who could hear her heart wrenching screams. Her father, her rock, her foundation, her _purpose_ was gone.

She was alone.

* * *

Ellie's eyelids tore open as she gasped for air, lifting herself off of her pillow. She glanced around her dark room, trying to collect herself after waking from her nightmare. A sliver of moonlight lit the hardwood floor in front of the bed and she could hear the wind rustling through the trees. A cold rush of air shot through the window, causing her to wrap herself tighter in her cocoon made of blanket.

"Oh - fuck..." she whispered to herself as she cringed. She clenched her throat and began to cry. She immediately looked to her left, searching for her father's presence, but he wasn't there. She forgot they slept separately for the first time she could remember. It was the cause for her restless, nightmare filled sleep. She realized her sense of attachment remained at an all time high and she needed him, desperately. The realization only intensified her crying, and she slammed her head back down to the pillow, letting out a sob, half hoping he would hear her from down the hall.

She waited to hear him bust through the door, running in to comfort her, like he did the night before they arrived at Salt Lake. But he couldn't hear her, he never came. She slowly lifted herself off the mattress and grabbed her tear stained pillow. She hastily tip-toed out the door and down the hallway, hearing the floor creak with every step. The door to his room was cracked open and she nervously approached it as her arms began to shake. She wasn't sure what his reaction would be and hoped nothing would be different from before. That he would simply be there to comfort her. She was still upset with him, but at this point it was merely a small thought that lingered in the very back of her mind. The content of her dream took center stage in terms of her thoughts, and it made her desperately seek his presence.

She slowly pushed the door open and saw him lying on his back, lightly snoring. She smiled and let out a quiet laugh of relief through her tears, realizing he was still alive and breathing and that he didn't leave her. Another gust of wind blew through the trees, causing the leaves to rustle in unison. The sound caused him to twitch and shift his head to the other side of the pillow. She quietly lowered herself onto the bed, pulling the blanket and sheet over herself. After taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, assuring herself that everything was okay, she still yearned to be closer to him.

Finally, she stopped holding herself back. She stopped caring, and simply let her terrified, inner infant, take over as she tried to recover from her nightmare. She wiggled her way next to him and nuzzled into his arm while she rested hers on his shoulder. Her contact caused him to stir and he twitched his head as he awoke from his sleep.

He inhaled as his eyes fluttered open. All of a sudden, he realized he wasn't alone. He felt the familiar warmth and weight of Ellie lying up against him. He quickly turned his head, to see her little frame, gazing at him with her green eyes and tear stained cheeks. She hoped he wouldn't judge her or think any less of her because she couldn't handle their first night in their new home by herself. He simply met her eyes with his and didn't say a word. She was glad he didn't, it suited him. He couldn't help but give way to a large smile and reached over to wipe the remaining tears from her cheeks. His touch evoked a smile of her own as she relished the contact and warmth from his callused hand which brushed against her skin. He wasn't sure why she was upset, he couldn't tell if it had to do with him, or a bad dream, but he didn't care, he only wanted to be there for her. Like he was for Sarah, when she was upset. He leaned over, then kissed her on the forehead. She was safe now. Nothing could harm her here, not even her own dark, terrifying thoughts.

"Sleep tight my baby girl," he whispered, then laid his head down on his pillow and smiled. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, his daughter's presence brought him as much peace as he did for her.

All of the tension in her muscles disappeared and she nuzzled her nose into his shoulder once again. She let out a deep breath and finally relaxed into the warming comfort of her pillow, the bed, and most of all, her father. She smiled, closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

She wasn't alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Ellie sat at the kitchen table in her new home, swinging her legs back and forth as she excitedly observed Joel prepare some hot chocolate. Maria dropped off some food items for the two of them the night before, which included a few packets of powdered hot chocolate, bread and a variety of other eatables. Joel was just as surprised as Ellie to find the tasty beverage among Maria's gifts. He wasn't sure how or where she found it, but assumed it was similar to coffee. Her and Tommy would stumble across it once in awhile in a random way and would hold onto it for special occasions.

Joel could tell Ellie was in a surprisingly good mood this morning, which was a stark contrast from when he saw her tip-toe into his room in the middle of the night. He didn't bother prying when it came to wondering what brought her too him, figuring she would bring it up if she wanted to. For the first time in a while, he saw a bright smile across her face when he awoke, seeing her cuddled next to him. Her presence made him smile as well, and seeing her happy, which was all that mattered, made him happy.

She was still upset with him over his lie, but as each day passed the intensity of her anger dwindled ever so slightly, and eventually the topic took a backseat in terms of what was important in her mind. However, if she consciously started thinking about it, she could feel her rage beginning to build again and she felt like she hated him. Her volatile swings of emotion when it came to her father left her feeling confused. After the events from last night, she took another step in accepting that she still needed him, that she was dependent on him, that she _loved_ him. Yet, she would get caught up in moments of extreme anger and hatred only minutes after mulling over the powerfully positive feelings she felt for him. Subconsciously, whether she would admit or not, she was happy that the power of love was barely winning over the power of hate in the game of tug-of-war that raged within her when it came to her father. Last night's horrid nightmare emphasized exactly that.

He began to pick up on Ellie's mood swings. He knew his lie was partially responsible, but he also attributed them to the overwhelming number of things his little girl was having to adjust to in this new place they called home. Most of all, he knew she was at the very beginning stages of adolescence, a time in a child's life where hormones are flowing at an all time high coupled with drastic changes in the brain. He always remembered the fact that Sarah never made it that far, and thus dealing with Ellie at her current age was actually brand new territory for him. Regardless of how independent she may try to be, though, he would always consider her as his little, baby girl, no matter how much she grew or how old she got.

He peeked into the saucepan atop the hotplate, checking to see if the water was warm enough.

"Almost - few more minutes," he said.

"Auughh - hurry! I can't wait that long!" Ellie said with a smirk.

"Tssh - you'll live."

Ellie snickered then gave him a playful leer.

"So lemme get this straight - you say eating breakfast makes you feel sick but uhh... chocolate is just fine?" he asked in a prodding tone.

"Well - yeah... 'cause ya know... chocolate is the greatest thing on the planet, duh? You've got thirty-five years on me and you still don't know that? You got problems man," she coyly responded, then stuck out her tongue.

Joel let out a laugh.

 _You are just too damn cute,_ he thought to himself.

"That a fact?"

"Yep - taught us that back in Boston," she said, crossing her arms and lifting her head up with confidence.

"Uhh - huh... well, eat your toast first kiddo. Then you can have some okay?"

"Ugh - fine."

"Breakfast is good for ya - most important meal of the day... 'least that's what I was told growin' up."

"Yeah - yeah I know..."

The toaster popped up two pieces of bread upon completing its cycle. Joel grabbed them, lightly bouncing them on his hands so not to burn himself and set them down on Ellie's plate.

"That thing is so weird."

"Hmm?"

"That... machine that you call a toaster or whatever. You just stick bread inside, pull a lever then it comes out all burnt and shit?"

"Ellie - "

She quickly brought her hand over her mouth. "Sorry! I mean... burnt and... crap."

"That's better," Joel said with a smirk. "But yeah - nifty little things I'll tell ya that."

Ellie looked down at her plate, then up at him. "So... I'm just supposed to eat plain, stupid toast?"

"Hold your horses - Maria left some strawberry jam she made. I had a taste - pretty damn good, ain't gonna lie," he said in defense.

He picked up a piece and spread a thick layer of jam over its surface then handed it to Ellie, urging her to take a bite.

"Here - try some. I reckon you might even like it more than the chocolate," he said with a wink.

"Pssht - yeah right," she responded, grabbing her breakfast from his hand. She took a bite and slowly started to chew.

"Oh wow... dis ish really fuckin' good."

"Ellie! - C'mon!" Joel stammered with a smile and a small laugh. He couldn't get mad at her even if he tried.

"Shorry! You were right though it's tashety!"

Ellie began to furiously chow down on her morning meal. Taking another bite before even swallowing her previous one.

Joel slowly ate his, wisely, so as not to upset his stomach, which was still getting used to eating soon after waking up.

"Slow down there - easy. Now ya really will get yourself sick," he said.

She didn't heed his advice and within minutes her food was gone. She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her thermal then smiled. "Done! Chocolate time - gimme!"

He swallowed his current bite before talking. "Gimme? Is that part of 'Ellie talk' now?" he asked with a playful tone.

She giggled at his statement. "I mean... can I have some, pllleeeaassee?" she pleaded as she batted her eyes.

"Yeah - yeah go on... don't have too much at once - or I'm tellin' ya, you're gonna regret it."

She shot up from her seat and ran over to the saucepan. Her excitement forced a smile across Joel's face, he enjoyed seeing her like this. It was a rare sight in a world that consisted mostly of horrors and nightmares. She carefully poured some of the steaming water into a cup then ripped open a packet of Swiss Miss. She dumped the powder in and rapidly stirred it with a spoon, eagerly awaiting for each speck to dissolve into liquid. She leaned her head down and felt the steam rise into her nose.

"Mmmm... looks so good!" she squealed as she grabbed her cup with both hands. The ambient heat that pulsed off of its surface warmed them, almost to a burn and she quickly set it down on the table.

"Woah - nelly!"

"Hot?"

"Yeah."

She rested one elbow on the table and propped her chin up with her hand as she impatiently waited for her beverage to cool.

"So - what's the plan for today?" she asked.

Joel took the last bite of his food.

"Well - Tommy's supposed to stop by in a bit - gonna take us to stock up on supplies for the house. He said I'd be doin' construction work - since I got experience with it an' all, so I reckon he'll get me started on somethin'."

"Oh... what am I supposed to do?"

"They said you were gonna do - I dunno somethin' with the other kids you met yesterday."

A look of disappointment appeared on her face, she wanted to work with him on whatever he was doing and had zero interest in anything that involved strangers.

"Aww what the hell!? I don't wanna do that. Can't I work with you? Just ya know... tell me what to do."

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea... I don't want ya gettin' into an accident and gettin' hurt or somethin'."

"Joel - are you fucking kidding me? After everything we've dealt with... that is what you're worried about?"

Joel let out a snicker, she did have a valid point. "Well... yeah - alright. I guess you're right. 'Sides, now that I think about it - you could be handy with those tiny, dexterous fingers of yours," he said, affectionately rubbing her little fingers with his.

She beamed a large smile. "Yes! Awesome!"

"But - no more cussin' at the table alright?"

"Okay - okay, I swear... well... I'll do my best."

"Uhh - huh..." Joel muttered, not inclined to entirely believe her. "By the way, ya never said much 'bout yesterday - how'd that go?"

"It was... okay. I don't really - I dunno. They all seemed just kinda... blah. I wasn't interested in meeting them and they didn't seem interested in meeting me I guess."

Joel could sense she had trouble connecting with the others, though it didn't surprise him. He felt bad she couldn't, and wished he could somehow help, but knew it wasn't possible.

"There was one kid though... umm... hang on - trying to remember his name..." she said as she adjusted her pony tail.

"Sean. That's right, Sean."

"Oh? He your age? Nice?" Joel asked.

"He said he was nineteen, but he seemed nice I guess - a bit pushy but I didn't let it bother me."

Joel's stomach churned. The thought of a nineteen year old boy, a pushy one at that, snooping around his baby girl made him uneasy. He didn't like it one bit. He was that age once, and he knew exactly what went through the mind of boys then. He couldn't find what to say next without sounding over protective and thus leaving her feeling not independent. Besides, he wanted her to make friends, he said so himself.

"Ah - well alright then. I'd like to meet him," he said, knowing deep down he had to meet him. He had to make sure he posed no harm to his little girl.

Ellie grabbed her cup and blew the waning steam from its surface before taking her first sip. "Yeah - well I'm sure you will - oh my god this is so good."

She gulped down the tasty beverage, enjoying every second that its flavor washed over her taste buds. She dropped her empty cup on the table and let out a deep exhale.

"Aaahhh - man that was good - oh wait!" she brought her hand to her chest then let out a loud burp.

"Tssh - what ever am I gonna do with you," he said with a smirk, pinching her on the shoulder.

She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her stomach as it gurgled from the sudden overload of contents.

"So umm... who was that Michelle person?"

"Michelle? Oh - I dunno really, someone Tommy and Maria know. Didn't talk much - don't know much 'bout her... seemed nice," he responded with a shrug.

Ellie was secretly glad to discover he and Michelle didn't end up conversing a whole lot. She wanted him to be happy, like he wanted for her, but there was something about Michelle she didn't like. Ellie perceived Michelle's eagerness to get close to him threatening, and the look she gave her as she walked way the day before left her feeling uneasy and even a little scared. Unbeknownst to Ellie, she was experiencing something that every normal person feels at least once in their life, jealousy. Deep down she knew having a romantic relationship, with anyone, was impossible, or at the least extremely difficult given her condition. Moreover, she felt so emotionally and psychologically damaged, it would take years before she was ready to connect with anyone. The only person she felt connected to, even attached to, was her father, Joel. If he were to find someone, would he slowly push her away? Thus, causing her to be alone? She knew her conspiracy theory sounded ridiculous, especially when spoken out loud, he would never do that, but the thought crossed her mind nonetheless. All of a sudden, a few of the diary entries left from other children she read, when crossing the country, began to make sense upon applying some context of her own. Now that she was trying to live a normal life, vastly different from what she had been used to, she was finally experiencing the normal ups and downs which every adolescent experiences. This was new to her, and she had no idea how to handle it.

Her stomach gurgled and growled again. She winced in discomfort, placing her hands over it. "Ugh - I... I don't feel so good," she said, blushing with embarrassment. She realized he was right. She ate too much, too fast.

Joel laughed. "See I told ya. You ain't gonna feel good for an hour or so."

"It's not funny!" Ellie playfully exclaimed.

"I'll clean up - go lie down for a bit. It'll help."

"Ugh - oh man... okay," she said as she rose to her feet and shuffled to the couch. She flopped herself down, rolled onto her back then let out a deep breath hoping the pain in her stomach would go away. She reached behind her head, to the small table that sat adjacent to the couch, and found a map of the United States. She curiously looked it over, hoping to ask Joel something about it, thus distracting her from the discomfort.

She heard a knock at the door.

"Hey Joel there's - "

"Yeah I'll get it."

He opened the door, and standing right outside was Tommy.

"Hey - mornin' Tommy."

"Good mornin'. How's the place treatin' ya two?"

"It's - It's great... again, thank you, a lot. Tell Maria extra thanks for droppin' some food off. Ellie - she loved the chocolate - but I reckon she's payin' for it now," he said with a snicker.

Tommy could hear her voice echo behind him as she lay on the couch.

"Hey! It was awesome okay... totally worth it."

He laughed, then cleared his throat. "Hey so umm... forgot to mention."

"Yeah?" Joel curiously asked.

"'Bout once a month... we have a town gatherin'. Everyone gets together at the hall - got a few people who play some music. We try to prepare as much food as we can but... you know how it is now. Anyway - it'll start later tonight, 'round six... great way for everyone to relax and have a good time. You two should come along, everyone will be there."

Ellie heard that word. _Everyone._

"Uhh... yeah sure, that sounds great. Count us in. Meet you in... oh I dunno - 'bout an hour? For supplies and work?"

"Yeah - yeah that's fine. Just drop on by when ya'll are ready."

"Alright, thanks. See you then."

"Yep."

Joel closed the door and turned to Ellie, he could tell she was in discomfort.

"Do we have to go to that thing later?" she had no interest in going, staying home with her father sounded much more enticing.

"C'mon - don't be like that. It'll be good for us."

She sighed. "Ugh - fine."

Joel went back to cleaning up while Ellie curiously examined the map. She had never seen one of the entire United States and it fascinated her. She traced her finger along the path which her and Joel approximately traveled.

"Wow," she whispered to herself, in awe of the distance they trekked, yet knowing there still remained more land to the west.

"Hey Joel."

"Yep?" he said over his shoulder from the kitchen.

"What's this really tall, skinny state all the way west?"

"Huh? The hell you on about?" he asked with confusion, unaware she was looking at a map.

"I found a map, see?" she said, holding it up for him to see.

"Ahh - gotcha... well I'm guessin' you're pointin' to California."

"Uhh - I'm sorry.. cal what?"

"California - it's huge, and is as far west you can get."

"Yeah it's a weird shape too... did you ever go?"

"To California? Only a few times... place is damn different from Texas I can tell ya that. Feels like a different country."

Ellie laughed. "Really!? No way... they can't be that different."

"Serious."

"Is it like Massachusetts?"

Joel let out a humorous laugh.

"Tssh - in some other universe maybe. Very different - for so many reasons."

"Really?"

"Yep - the weather, the terrain, the people, hell even the buildings look completely different. I mean - winter for California is like fall or spring for the east coast to be honest - almost never gets cold enough to snow in most parts."

"Wow, really? That sounds like my kind of place."

"Eh... yeah, I reckon every state has its give and takes though."

"Man - we've been so far yet... there's still so much stuff between us and the ocean. What's over there - or was over there?"

"Hollywood, uhh... Silicon Valley, Wine Country - I dunno, you ever see pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge?"

"Once... I think... huh, cool. I wish we could go someday."

There it was, again, the underlying implication that she and him would remain together, forever, no matter what.

* * *

Ellie and Joel walked closely behind Tommy and Maria as they approached the town hall. The moon, like the previous night, shined bright in the sky and music, a multitude of voices and laughs could be heard escaping from the walls of the building. The thought of so many people in one place at one time made Ellie nervous and she started to feel just like she did the day before. And like the day before, she wrapped her small fingers around Joel's hand for comfort. He didn't mind the contact, and could tell she was uncomfortable, and frankly, so was he. Though he had far more years of experience when it came to dealing with groups of people than Ellie did, he hadn't in so long he felt he almost forgot how.

Tommy pulled open the double doors then Maria and him stepped inside. Joel and Ellie glanced at the sight before them then looked to each other, both in shock from the spectacle. There were actually people laughing, smiling and having a carefree time. Standing together far in the back of the sprawling ballroom were four musicians, a man playing the harmonica, a violinist, a guitarist and lastly, a woman playing the piano. They were talented, and Joel could even recognize the song they were playing, as it was from before the outbreak.

"Ready to do this?" he asked Ellie.

"Yeah - I guess so," she responded.

They took their first step inside and felt the eyes of strangers lay upon them as they followed Tommy and Maria to their table. Ellie's grip around Joel's hand tightened, intimidated by the piercing stares. Even though it was only a few at a time as they walked by, she felt as if the entire room was staring them. She leaned her head closer to him to whisper through the loud music.

"Joel - I don't like this..."

"You're fine - you're doin' great. Let's just get to our seats - we're alright," he responded calmly, trying to soothe her worry. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous too, though.

They finally arrived at a round table with six chairs lining its perimeter. Tommy and Maria took their seats next to each other while Joel and Ellie did the same. After a few seconds, Ellie scooted her chair closer to him. He reached his hand over and brushed her non-conforming lock of hair behind her ear.

"See? This ain't so bad right? Tell ya what though - those guys up there are pretty good."

Ellie crossed her arms and tried to squash the nervousness that plagued her. "Yeah - they actually are... not that I would really know I guess."

"Ahh c'mon - anyone knows good music when they hear it," he said with a smirk, pinching her on the shoulder. "How in the hell they got a piano though... I'll never know, but oh well."

"Could you play like that? Guitar I mean," Ellie asked with excited curiosity.

"No - no... I wish. I ain't bad but - no not like that," he said with a snicker.

Tommy's voice, yelling at them from across the table caught their attention.

"Joel! Hey - let's grab a drink and some food, follow me."

"Alright." Joel got up from his chair to follow Tommy, but felt Ellie's small hand tug on his sleeve. He immediately turned around and acknowledged her contact. "Hey - it'll be okay. I'm goin' just over there alright? You'll see me the whole time."

Ellie sighed. She felt ridiculous and almost absurd with how clingy she was, but she couldn't help it. The loud music, all of the voices, the hundreds of people she'd never met, all overloaded her senses and his presence calmed her nerves. It was moments like this, when she was reminded of the dichotomy that twisted within herself. On one hand she desired to be completely independent, strong willed and felt as if she needed no one. On the other, she realized how dependent on her father she still was and how attached she really was to him.

"I know, sorry... habit I guess," she muttered, as she pulled her hand away.

Joel placed his hand on her shoulder and leaned his head in so she could hear him over the music. "Don't be sorry - it's just me. It's okay," he said with a smile.

She simply looked up at him and offered a smile in response, then watched him and Tommy walk to the far wall where the buffet table sat. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she curled up in her chair. She carefully observed all of her surroundings, still in awe of the entire ordeal. Maria then changed seats, and sat down next to her.

"So Ellie - how's it going? What you think of all this?"

She was relieved Maria sat next to her to talk, she felt far less awkward than just sitting in silence by herself. She turned her head to respond, but kept the sight of Joel within her peripherals.

"It's uhh... it's great. The house is great - thank you, again, by the way for everything. We really appreciate it."

"Of course - we're glad you two are settling in. I know it's hard at first - it certainly was for Tommy, but I promise things will start feeling normal."

"Yeah, Joel keeps telling me the same thing - you're both probably right."

Ellie took a deep breath and felt much more relaxed after speaking with Maria for a few seconds, as if her mind was digging up an old blueprint that detailed how to talk to people. She started feeling more confident and less anxious as she eased her tense arms down from around her knees.

All of a sudden, something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was Michelle. She approached Joel as he and Tommy were walking back, catching him in conversation. Now, only Tommy continued towards the table while Joel was stuck back at the buffet talking with her. It made Ellie feel like he was floating away, ever so slowly, as if Michelle were pushing them apart.

"Hey Maria - who is Michelle anyway?" Ellie asked, as Tommy sat back down with his plate of food.

Maria could sense Ellie's tone, and it wasn't one that portrayed happiness.

"Ah - well, to be honest... Tommy and I actually don't know too much about her. I'd say she's more of an acquaintance than a friend really. She showed up here... about... hmm." She paused, sifting through her memories to give Ellie an accurate time frame.

"Hey - Tommy," she said, leaning her head over her shoulder.

"Yep?"

"Michelle - when did she arrive here in Jackson again? I can't remember."

"Uhh... I'd say 'bout maybe two or three months ago? Somethin' like that."

Maria turned back to Ellie. "Okay yeah that sounds about right - so about two or three months ago she showed up. She said she was from Montana and the winter up there was pretty harsh. From what I gathered she had a rough time with... whomever she was with."

"Oh?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah - when she first came here she was pretty messed up. I don't think she's fully recovered yet but... she hides it well."

"Why do you say that? Did something happen?"

"Well... I think within the first week she was here... there was some incident between her and one of the kids. You actually met him yesterday - or I thought you did anyway."

"Sean?"

"Yes! Sean, that's right. Anyway - she was so tense and guarded when she first arrived it was hard to... I don't know - connect with her I guess. And Sean he - I think he said something to her that really rubbed her the wrong way. You know how teen aged boys can be..."

"Tssh - yeah... what'd he say?"

"Honestly neither I nor Tommy know, but it sent her off the handle. She ended up screaming at him and actually almost hit him. I mean, he probably deserved it - acting like a brat but... a normal adult doesn't behave like that towards a child. We were a bit taken aback, but we attributed the entire thing to stress. Figured that wasn't really her and she was still struggling to get settled in. Everyone deals with it in different ways, you know?"

The story made Ellie even more nervous about Michelle. Ellie's instincts were right, there was something off about her, even if she hid it well. Moreover, Ellie wondered what Sean could have said or done that provoked such a reaction.

"Yeah I guess so."

"But, ever since then she's been fine. Haven't seen or heard of a single problem. She's still pretty guarded though - won't tell Tommy or I much about herself. But hey, that's alright, don't need to know everyone inside and out."

Ellie needed to, especially when it came to someone who had an apparent strong interest in her father.

"She's definitely taken an interest in Joel though, I can tell you that," Maria said.

"Oh - really? I - I didn't notice," Ellie awkwardly replied, lying through her teeth. She wasn't fooling Maria either, they both knew the truth.

Ellie turned her head, hoping to see Joel making his way back to the table by now, but he wasn't. He still remained far away, talking with Michelle. She could see the both of them smiling and laughing, enjoying each other's company.

She felt Maria's hand rest on her arm, causing her to snap her head back around.

"It will be okay. Don't worry," Maria said, trying to calm the emotions she could sense that were bubbling under the surface of Ellie's skin.

Out of nowhere, Sean appeared in front of Ellie and stuck out his hand.

"Hey - it's you again," he said.

"Oh... hey," she responded.

"Care to dance?"

"Tssh - dance? Are you fucking kidding me?" The thought terrified her. She was far too self-conscious and wanted to simply remain in her seat.

"Yes, dance, and no I'm not fucking kidding you. C'mon." He reached further out and grabbed her arm, almost forcefully, hurting her just a bit, but she ignored the action and tried not to think anything of it.

Maria pushed her along. "Go on... go, go. You'll be fine. Joel will be back when you're done. Go have fun."

Ellie reluctantly agreed and gave in to Sean's demands. "Ugh - fine."

Sean pulled her along the floor, until they were engulfed by the large crowd of people that were already dancing. He grabbed her other hand with his and shook her arms.

"Sheesh - loosen up. Relax, you're so stiff!" he yelled over the music. "Nobody can dance when they're that tense!"

Ellie felt absurdly self-conscious, and she awkwardly tried to match his steps with hers, trying to blend in.

"So you never told me where you're from. Where?"

"Boston."

"Oh - cool."

"What about you?" she asked. Sean was pleased to finally hear her take even the smallest bit of interest.

"Denver - came here with my dad a couple years ago."

"What about your mom?" Ellie asked, trying to keep a silence between them at bay.

"What about her? I never knew her."

"Yeah... mine too."

"That ugly ass old guy you're always with. He your dad?"

Ellie glared daggers at him in reaction to his tone and choice of words. "It's a long story - and his name is Joel by the way," she sternly responded.

"Ah, alright then."

The music paused in between songs and people cheered, showing their appreciation for the musicians. Joel was right, they were indeed talented. For a few minutes, Ellie felt as if she were listening to her cassette player again, forgetting they were simply gifted amateurs. Then, the music picked up again. The song sounded awfully familiar, and after just a few notes Ellie deciphered what it was.

It was the song Joel sang to her, that night in Steamboat Springs, after she was put on the doorstep of sexual assault once again. It was the song he whistled to her as he sat on the floor in front of the bathtub during the last night of their epic journey towards Salt Lake. She didn't know the title, or the artist, she just knew it as his song, his song _for her._ The notes resonated within her, and it plucked at her heartstrings. Her eyes began to well up, and she glanced over to see if he was still talking with Michelle. He was.

"Another?" Sean asked, failing to pull Ellie's attention back to him.

She didn't respond, and instead ripped her hands away, then turned around and hastily made her way towards the exit, covering her mouth with her sleeve.

Joel instantly recognized the song that began to play and he immediately darted his eyes away from Michelle to find Ellie, only to spot her small frame rush by and out the door. His heart skipped a beat and right away knew something was wrong. Within seconds, Michelle's voice was nonexistent to him and his entire focus centered on Ellie. He dropped his plate on the table and without saying another word to Michelle he turned around, following Ellie out the door.

He opened the door and stepped outside into the brisk cold air. As it shut behind him, the music and crowd noise that emanated from the building fell to a muffled level. It was much quieter outside, but it was also relaxing and felt good. He saw Ellie, his little girl, sitting on the top step, resting her head on the palm of her hand with her elbow on her thigh. He heard her sniffle, then quietly approached her.

Ellie sat alone, saddened and lost in her thoughts. She could see her breath escape into the cold, nighttime air and gazed up at the moon. The song would forever remind her of him, the good and the bad, including his lie. It still lingered in the back of her mind. Suddenly, she heard the door open behind her, and she prayed it was him, no one else. She let out a sniffle, then felt the familiar feel of his strong, callused hands softly lift her from under her armpits.

"Hey kiddo - how we doin'? You okay?" he asked with care, pulling her up to him as he knelt down.

She let out another sniffle, then wiped her eyes with her sleeve, causing him to sit himself closely next to her. He knew something was wrong, she wasn't hiding it well.

"Yeah... I'm fine."

"Ellie... c'mon - what is goin' on?"

She turned her head towards him and he could see her green, little eyes crystallize in the moonlight from her building tears.

"C'mere - what's wrong?" he said as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

She let out a deep breath, satisfied with the contact. She was again in her domain, the safest place, her favorite place. The muffled sound of the now notorious song still echoed from inside the building and she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Do you remember when you sang this to me?"

"'Course - I reckon I won't ever forget."

His response caused her to smile.

"You wanna tell me what's on your mind Ellie?"

She sighed, trying to carefully construct the words to express her thoughts.

"Ugh... well... I'm just..." She let out an awkward laugh. "God this sounds so stupid."

"Relax - relax. It's alright. You can tell me anything - there's nothin' you could say that's gonna negatively alter my opinion of ya," he said.

She finally began. "It's great you're getting along with Michelle and all... and I want you to be happy but... ahhh, god I don't know what I'm saying."

She was about to verbally express, in a way, how much she still needed him. Despite how close they had become, feeling this vulnerable would forever feel foreign. She let out another sigh and turned her head to make eye contact with him. He didn't say a word and patiently waited for her to finish her train of thought.

"I don't want to end up alone. I mean - because of this stupid fucking thing - " she said, pointing to the scar that would forever remain on her arm. " - I can't ever have you know... a real relationship. Besides who the hell is gonna want to be with the freak? The infected girl?"

Joel's paternal self took over, and he felt for his daughter, he could tell where this was going. He picked her up by the armpits and propped her on his lap.

"You're..." She started to choke up. "You're everything I have - the only person who really cares about me. You're _all_ I have. I'm afraid, when you inevitably find someone, that you're gonna... ya know - just forget about me and I'll get neglected and pushed away... leaving me alone." She sniffled and felt a lone tear run down her cheek.

He reached his hand up and wiped it away with the side of his thumb.

"Ellie... how many times do I gotta say it? I ain't _ever_ leaving you. Ever. I promised remember? You remember right?"

She simply nodded and her pony tail bobbed up and down in conjunction with her affirmation.

"Oh baby girl..." he soothed, bringing one hand behind her head as he held her. Those words, once again, sent a ripple through her heart and relaxed every muscle in her body. She tucked her arms in, curling herself into a ball in his arms to protect herself from the cold.

A brisk gust of wind swept by and some leaves blew by their feet.

Joel cleared his throat, then continued talking. "Look - honey... it ain't even like that anyway - with Michelle. I barely know her. I just met her - I don't even know if she feels that way. Most of all... if I'm bein' honest - I don't have much interest anymore. Seriously... that part of my life is done - over with."

It was true. Joel, the ex-hunter turned born-again father, only cared about one thing, and that was his daughter, Ellie. It took almost a full year, of constant contact and being side by side with this feisty little sprite for his heart to let her in. At this point, no one else was joining her. His heart was barricaded off for everyone else, only she wiggled her way in, and she wasn't ever going to leave.

He lifted her chin with his finger and looked into her eyes.

"You're all that matters, Ellie. There ain't anything else. I just want you to be happy and grow up to... I dunno try and live some normal resemblance of a life. You deserve it, more than anyone else. I reckon even more than me. Besides, even if something did ever happen between Michelle and I... you would always be involved. I ain't ever pushin' you away, ever. Anyone tries to do that... I swear I'll put 'em underground."

The song which sparked this entire conversation finally ended, and his reassurance comforted her, forcing a large smile across her face. She nuzzled into his chest as she gave him a hug, relieved to hear his words. She felt him kiss her on the cheek, which sent a tickle down her spine. Her father really was never going to leave her, no matter what. She knew his promise would hold and she would never end up alone.

"I'm tired - you wanna bail?" he asked.

She couldn't wait to leave, even though they had only been there for no more than an hour.

"Yeah - I'm pooped. I'm hungry though - I didn't eat anything."

They both rose to their feet and made their way down the steps side by side.

"Oh? Well what you want? Anything you want - name it."

"Oh really? Anything huh?" she playfully asked.

"C'mon now - within reason."

She bit her lip, anticipating his disapproval once she expressed her desire.

"Umm... I kinda want more hot chocolate..." she said with a laugh.

He sighed, but couldn't say no to his little girl. He did, after all, say she could have anything.

"Even after this mornin'!? Goddamn... alright, alright... I did say anything. You got it - I'll cook some up when we get home."

Ellie liked his response. It wasn't that he gave in when it came to making her hot chocolate, rather it were the last few words, when _we_ get _home_.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So, I've received a few questions as to what the song, that has now occurred a few times in my first story and now this one, is. I'll try my best to explain why I don't give much detail about it in the writing itself. It made its first appearance in Chapter 11 of my first story, when Joel sings to Ellie after their experience in Steamboat Springs. When I made the first draft of the chapter, I actually wrote in some of the lyrics that Joel sings. However, after reading it back to myself later, I actually felt it would be more powerful for the reader to interpret what the song/lyrics were on their own. Music has always been a big part of my life personally (I play the piano), and I've always felt it's one of the wondrous things in the world that can really evoke thoughts and emotions from people. In my head I can picture the song he sings, but I felt it was better to remove the lyrics and thus let the reader imagine on their own what he sang to Ellie, giving the chapter a more personal feel for each individual who reads it. Feel free to leave a review letting me know what song you think it is. :)**

 **Here's Chapter Five. I was about four glasses of wine in while writing the second half, and actually teared up when writing the last part. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.**

* * *

It had been a few days since the gathering at the town hall. Ellie and Joel were finally beginning to settle into their new home and getting into a normal routine aided them in adjusting to their new lives. Ellie still hadn't used her own room yet, she still slept cuddled next to Joel at night. He didn't mind, and she was quietly appreciative of the fact that he didn't bother mentioning anything about it. He simply accepted it and enjoyed her presence while it lasted, knowing eventually she would grow out of it. It was strange, even though, technically, Ellie would be fifteen in a few months, it was as if, emotionally, she was going backwards. Around anyone else she exuded her usual, confident, wise beyond her years self. However, around Joel, she completely let go and embodied the inner eight-year old child within her. This behavior didn't bother him one bit. He attributed it to the fact that she never got to have a real childhood, that she never had the chance to just be a little kid. She grew up so fast in a world that was hellbent on destroying all things sacred and was forced to act like an adult from day one. He knew it wouldn't last forever, and eventually she would grow out of it, like every child does with any phase of adolescence, but he secretly enjoyed the moments when her childlike behavior was on full display. They made him adore her even more, and only reinforced his feeling that she really was, without a doubt, his little, baby girl.

The month of May was coming to a close and summer was just around the corner. It was only ten o' clock in the morning, yet the heat from the sun roasted the earth as if it were already the afternoon. It was an unusually hot day and the air felt aridly dry. Ellie had already learned the basics when it came to helping Joel with his construction duties. As always, she caught on quickly and he enjoyed having her around. They were a team, and would joke around on the job, making the work feel less mundane and at times, actually fun. Neither would admit it, but they enjoyed it. They viewed it as just another experience they could strengthen their bond over each day.

Tommy mentioned the barbed wire atop the south fence was beginning to rust and fall apart and thus needed fixing. Joel carried a tall, extendable ladder and had his tool bet wrapped around his waist. Ellie held a toolbox along with other smaller supplies that she could carry.

"Man - carrying all this shit get's old after awhile," she said through her panted breaths.

"'Specially this far - yeah no kiddin'," Joel responded.

"How much farther is it?"

"It ain't far - we're close. I can see it just ahead - almost there."

"Thank god."

"Don't worry - it'll be worth it. I've got a surprise for ya when we're done with this."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep.

"Well what is it?"

"Seriously? I told ya... it's a surprise.

"Pfft - fine."

All of a sudden, Ellie heard a familiar voice bellow from behind them. It was Sean.

"Hey! You need help with that old man!?" he yelled, approaching the two of them with a jog.

Joel stopped, turned around and didn't dare set the ladder down, even though his muscles ached for him to do so.

"I reckon I don't know you - who're you again?"

Sean reached out his arm, offering a hand shake. Joel carefully leaned the ladder against his shoulder so he could free his hand. He gripped Sean's, and they stared each other in the eyes as they introduced themselves.

"Name's Sean - you're John right?"

"I told you - it's Joel," Ellie butted in, before Joel could correct him.

"Oh right - Joel."

"Alright - nice to meet ya Sean."

He wore a white tank-top with faded blue jeans and a tattered pair of sneakers. He had wavy brown hair coupled with dark, brown eyes and a relatively tan complexion. He was about Joel's height, but was much lankier as he lacked the bulk which usually forms during a boy's twenties.

"You look even older up close. You must have lived before everything went to shit yeah?"

Joel didn't like his disrespectful tone, but tried to not let it bother him much.

"Tssht - easy there son. Gonna happen to you too. But uhh yeah... I was around before the outbreak."

"That's actually pretty cool. I've always wondered what it was like - my dad would tell me stories, but that just isn't the same, isn't it Ellie?"

Joel smiled at his sudden respectful choice of words.

"Heh - yeah not really," Ellie responded.

"Well I have to run - it was nice to meet you Mr... you got a last name?"

"Just call me Joel son, that'll do just fine."

"Yes sir, Joel it is."

Joel's eyes widened, but was glad to hear his sudden change of demeanor and his demonstration of respect. Suddenly, his tone of voice quickly shifted back to his norm as he barked his next words to Ellie.

"Ellie - I'm coming by later to hang out. Be ready - won't have to time to wait."

Joel quietly gritted his teeth in anger as his blood boiled. He didn't mind Sean speaking to him disrespectfully, but he'd be damned if he let anyone address his little girl that way. Behavior like that only meant one thing, trouble.

Ellie, taken aback by his tone gave a confused response. "Umm - okay maybe..."

Sean started to walk away then turned his head to give one last demand. "No maybes - be there."

She turned towards Joel and let out a sigh. "Well there ya go - you met Sean."

"Kids... I tell ya," Joel succinctly responded. It were the only words he could come up with. He didn't want to mention that Sean rubbed him the wrong way. He wanted Ellie to make friends, and if he backtracked on urging her to do so he felt it would do more harm than good. Regardless, he wasn't particularly pleased with the boy.

"Well - we can do the surprise another time then - if you're gonna meet up with him later."

"What!? No way! I want the surprise... from you..." she said, her voice getting softer as she finished her sentence.

He was secretly relieved and pleased to hear her say so. "Alright, whichever you want kiddo - c'mon let's finish this up."

They approached the wall and Joel slammed the ladder against it as his tired muscles finally relaxed.

"Christ - that's one hell of a trek with that goddamn thing," he said after taking a deep breath, relieved to be temporarily rid of the ladder.

"Yeah - seriously."

He slid the extension of the ladder upwards, extending it all the way to the top of the wall, then engaged the locking mechanism.

"Alright - Ellie I'm'a - let's see here... looks like I'm gonna need a pair of wire cutters."

She flipped open the toolbox and sifted through it, clanking the tools around as she fished for a pair of wire cutters.

"Found 'em - here ya go."

"Thanks - actually, here's a good thing to mention. C'mere."

Ellie made her way over him as he stood at the base of the ladder.

"So - before you start climbin' up one of these - always, always check the locking mechanism. See it?" he asked, pointing to the small metal lever that held the extension of the ladder in place.

"Yep," she concurred with a nod.

"That should always be locked before goin' up - if ya don't... the whole top piece will come slidin' down and you with it. Make sense?"

"You got it coach!" she responded playfully.

"Good - now I'm gonna need ya to feed the wire up to me after I cut the old one down."

"Sure thing."

Ellie turned around and began to carefully unravel the new barbed wire as Joel slowly began his descent up the ladder.

"Hey Joel."

He stopped climbing and turned his head to hear her.

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?"

He brought one hand off the ladder and scratched his beard as he pondered Ellie's latest pun filled riddle.

"Hmm... I dunno - I got nothin'."

"Because the 'P' is silent!"

He let out a snicker. "Tssht - alright that's pretty good... you even know what a pterodactyl is?"

"It's a dinosaur right?"

"Huh - well no shit. Look at the brain on my little girl. That's right - it's a damn dinosaur."

"Pssht - shut up, I know my dinosaurs," she responded playfully.

She reached up and handed him the tip of the wire before he continued his ascent. "Here."

"Thank ya kindly."

The ladder slightly shook with each step he took and the higher he climbed the more nervous Ellie got.

"Hey - be... be careful up there," Ellie said with care.

"Don't worry - I got this."

He got to the top, then noticed how the rusted wire was intertwined in between crevices of the fence. He peered over the edge and noticed it running all the way to the bottom to the other side, thus preventing outsiders from even making an attempt at climbing over. He tried to fit his hand in the crack that held the wire in place but couldn't do it. He needed Ellie's tiny, little arms once more and let out a sigh, knowing she was going to have to climb the ladder.

"Ahh - god dammit," he said.

"What? What's wrong?" Ellie yelled up to him.

"I can't reach the - shit... I can't get to the damn wire - can't get my hands through this crack here."

"Oh - I can probably get it. C'mon let me get up there - I can do it," she proudly exclaimed.

"I - ahh..." He paused, dropped his head, trying to think of an alternate solution. He didn't want her up there.

"Joel - it'll be fine. I can handle my self... you know that."

He let out another sigh. "Yeah alright - fine... I reckon it's gonna have to do - can't think of anything else. I'm comin' down."

Joel made his way down the ladder and suddenly, out of nowhere, Michelle appeared next to Ellie.

"Hey Ellie - what you guys doing?"

Ellie jumped in surprise, she didn't see her approach. "Jeez - oh hey... sorry - you scared me. I didn't see you there... we're trying to replace the wire on the fence. It's rusted and dull to hell."

"Ah - I see. Hey Joel!" Michelle yelled up to him.

"Oh - hey there Michelle," he yelled back.

Ellie turned to her. "What are you up to?" Curious as to why she was interrupting them.

"Just on my late morning walk - saw you two, thought I'd stop by."

"Ah."

Joel got to the bottom of the ladder, stepped off and nodded towards Michelle. "How's it goin'?" he asked.

"Fine - just telling Ellie I was on my morning walk. Thought I'd say hi."

He looked at Ellie, then re-emphasized what he said earlier.

"Now, you remember what I said - what's the first thing you check before goin' up?"

"Make sure the lever is locked in place," she responded.

"Good - now just... please be careful."

"Joel - I got this... relax - sheesh - it's just a stupid ladder," she stammered. She knew it was just because he cared, but his tone still annoyed her.

"Alright - alright. Just feed the wire to me when I get to the other side."

"Yep," Ellie yelled down as she carefully climbed the ladder.

Joel unlocked the gate that stood about thirty feet to their left and made his way to the other side.

Ellie tightly gripped the ladder's edges and tingled with nervousness each time it shook while taking a particularly ungraceful step. Higher and higher she went, watching the ground below her get further way. She got to the top and looked down, causing her stomach to churn.

She let out a deep breath. "Okay - everything's cool... everything is totally cool - you got this." She heard Joel's voice.

"Talk to me Ellie - how you doin' up there - you alright?"

She looked down again, causing her heart to skip a beat from the height. Her voice quivered and for a second she thought she may have bit off more than she could chew. "Yeah - yeah I'm good... it's kind of shaking a bit though - is that okay?"

"Yeah - that's alright, it's just from your weight on the steps. Now - get your hand in there, cut the wire then feed me the new one."

"Alright - here we go."

Ellie leaned forward and wiggled her skinny, little arm into the crevice as she fished around with the wire cutters. She felt the cutters slide over the rusted barbed wire then cut it loose.

"Okay - I got it out. Ready?"

"Yep - bring 'er on down," Joel replied.

"I'll leave you two be - hey Joel I'll see you later alright?" Michelle yelled from the opposite side. She was slightly annoyed they didn't pay much attention to her.

"Yeah - sure, see ya," Joel quickly responded. His mind was focused on the task at hand.

Before strutting off, Michelle quietly walked towards the ladder. She slowly lurched her hand toward the locking mechanism. She waited for Ellie to be completely engrossed in what she was doing, then slid her finger underneath the latch and stealthily flipped it up, unlocking the extension from the base. She turned around and hastily made her escape down the road.

Immediately, Ellie could sense something was off. Her heart began to race and she started to panic. She felt the ladder extension loosen from the friction with the base, that now was the only thing responsible for keeping it elevated. It creaked, and the screech of grinding metal pierced through the air.

"Joel! Something's wrong with the - " She was interrupted as the extension came crashing down. She gripped her hands on its edge and screamed as she fell back to the earth. Her foot slammed into the bottom step, twisting her ankle into an unnatural position. She then thudded into the dirt on her side, the same side that had her previously broken rib.

Joel could hear the crashing sound of metal coupled with Ellie's panicked scream.

"Ellie!" he yelled. "Oh god no..." he spat to himself through a panicked breath.

His stomach rose into his throat as a massive surge of adrenaline shot through his heart and he immediately ran through the gate back to other side.

He rounded the corner and saw his little girl pinned underneath the ladder. He quickly glanced around, looking to see if Michelle was still nearby, but she was gone. He ran over to Ellie and threw the ladder to the side. She tried lifting herself to her feet then let out a whimper as she collapsed to the dirt on her back.

"Ellie - honey - no don't get up - easy, easy," he said, jumping straight into paternal mode as he knelt down and gently placed a hand behind her head and another behind her back.

"Oww - aahhh... ohhh... fuck," she yelped. She tried to slowly lift herself to a sitting position with the help of Joel and she darted her eyes down the road, looking for Michelle. She was nowhere to be found. Something in Ellie's gut insisted Michelle was somehow responsible, she just knew it.

"Shh - shh it's okay baby, it's okay - easy now," Joel soothed, gently bringing her close to him. He ran his eyes over her body, checking for broken bones or serious gashes then heaved a sigh of relief when he found nothing of the sort.

She was shaking from the event, and she pressed herself against his torso then looked up at him for comfort. His eyes met hers and he gave way to a slight smile, knowing she wasn't gravely injured. He cupped the palm of his hand around the side of her face and let out an airy laugh, expressing his relief.

"Ya took quite a fall there kiddo - had me scared to death. You okay? Anything hurtin'?"

The initial shock was beginning to wear off, and the excruciating pain that shot through Ellie's ankle was now all she could feel. She clenched her eyes shut, making every attempt not to cry from the pain.

"Ahhh - yeah I sure did... god dammit. But my - ohh fuck it hurts... it's my fucking ankle - my right one," she said while wincing in discomfort.

"Here - lemme have a look - lie back." Ellie propped her self up with her elbows as Joel began to untie her shoe.

He reached around her ankle and tried to pry her shoe off, causing her to yelp in pain. "Ah - ah - ah... okay that hurts stop - stop."

"Shh - I know - I know... we gotta get your shoe off though. Gimme a sec." Joel carefully loosened her laces then slowly pulled the tongue of her shoe upward, creating more space. He wiggled his index finger inside, behind her heel, then gently pulled it off along with her sock.

Instantly he could see the swelling in her ankle. It was three times the size of her other one and it was already beginning to bruise.

 _My poor baby girl._ He thought to himself. His heart ached for her, she had already felt enough pain in her short life, he didn't want her experiencing more.

He gently held her tiny foot in his palm, the entirety of it only as big as his whole hand.

"That hurt?" he asked as he carefully pressed her foot in one direction then another.

"No - not much that way."

"How 'bout that?"

"Ahhhh! Okay, okay yeah that hurts."

Joel immediately eased off the pressure, then exhaled.

"Good news is that it ain't broken... some how. But I reckon you sprained it - bad. Gonna be swollen for awhile - we'll put some ice on it later tonight - that'll calm the swelling."

He sighed, then looked over to the ladder.

"We checked the latch right? I was sure it was locked."

"Me too," Ellie said with a nod.

Every part of her wanted to blame Michelle. She was just about to open her mouth and rapidly spout her growing dislike for that woman, but stopped herself just before the words left her lips. She worried what Joel might do, even from a mere suspicion that Michelle was responsible. After all, she had no proof, she only had her instincts telling her so.

Ellie sighed, dropped her head and a sense of sadness washed over her. She couldn't walk, and assumed Joel's surprise was no longer a possibility.

"I guess no more surprise then huh? Can't even walk."

"Really now? What makes you think that? No one ever said anything 'bout walkin'," he said, bending over and lifting her chin.

Her eyes lit up and despite the pain in her ankle, she smiled. "Really!? Well now I _am_ surprised what're we doing?" she exclaimed.

"You'll see - let's get you home - piggy back ride?"

Her smile widened and she simply nodded.

"I'll come back and finish up here after droppin' you off okay?"

"Okay - don't be - "

"I won't - don't worry," he said, interrupting her before she could finish her familiar plea.

* * *

Ellie was latched onto Joel's back with her arms wrapped around his neck as he carried her through the woods. She had their hunting rifle slung over her shoulder, as he insisted they bring it just in case. It was late in the afternoon and the temperature was blistering hot. Joel wore a t-shirt and a pair of shorts he borrowed from Tommy, while Ellie wore her thermal and an over-sized pair of shorts that belonged to Mara. She was loving every second of their hike through the woods, though she wasn't sure where they were going.

Joel turned his head to the side to speak to her.

"You weigh almost nothin' ya know? Forget your back there hangin' off of me sometimes," he said with a playful laugh. "How much you weigh again?"

"Ugghh - I dunno. Not a whole lot - I feel like I'll never grow," she said with a sigh.

"Aww - c'mon now I didn't mean it like that. 'Sides, you get bigger, I reckon we can't do this no more."

Ellie's frown inverted into a smile, she knew he was right.

"Okay seriously this time - where the fuck are you taking me and why did you make me put on these way-to-big shorts?"

"Well... look ahead. We're here."

As they entered a clearing on the trail, a small lake sprawled before them. The water was a deep blue, and browned pine needles coupled with small packs of sand lined the bank.

Ellie gasped.

"Are you gonna teach me how to swim!?" she asked with excitement.

"Nah - figured I'd just drop ya in then leave," he said over his shoulder in a sarcastic tone.

Ellie knew he was kidding, but the thought alone hurt her regardless. Suddenly, she was reminded of his lie.

"Joel... I don't like that," her face turned to a frown once more.

"Oh I'm just kiddin'. You know I would never do that, ever," he responded with care, while gently rubbing her small hand that remained wrapped around his neck.

Her reaction made it clear she wasn't ready to joke about anything related to him leaving her. He felt bad that he even said the words, but knew she didn't take him seriously.

"Forgive me?" he asked, as he slowly slid her down off of his back, then turned to face her.

Ellie shifted all of her weight to her non-injured foot and crossed her arms as she leered at him.

"Hmm... maybe."

He pulled her chin up with his finger then kissed her on the forehead.

"How 'bout now?"

She couldn't resist it, a humongous smile stretched across her face.

"Okay - yes."

Joel smiled as well, then messed with her hair. Ellie set the rifle on the ground and took a deep breath as she enjoyed the wonderful view of the lake. The early summer sun reflected off of the water and caused the few rocks which jutted from the surface to glisten in the light.

"Is it gonna be cold?" she asked.

"Uhh... it might be. Well actually - yeah probably. You'll get used to it pretty quick though."

"Alright - how are we doing this?"

"Well - first I want ya to get used to just bein' in the water. So I'm gonna pick ya up - carry you in with me, an' we'll go from there."

"Okay well - don't... don't let go of me 'til I say so."

"'Course baby girl," he said.

She smiled again. She loved those two words, no matter what the situation.

"Alright - c'mere."

Joel placed one arm behind her back and one beneath her legs, then picked her up and made his way over to the water. Ellie intensely stared ahead, slightly afraid of what was going to happen next, but felt excited anticipation at the same time. Joel stepped into the water and she could hear it splash and ripple around his legs. It was now waist high and he lowered himself, and thus also Ellie, into it. She squealed from the cold.

"Eeeeek! Oh my god it's so cold!"

"I know - I know... you're okay I gotcha. Just take a deep breath, close your eyes," he said.

She obeyed, and felt her muscles relax into the cold liquid. He was right, within minutes her body was adjusting and the water no longer felt quite so cold. It helped that the heat from the sun was still beating down on them. Joel glided her through the water, allowing her to experience what it really felt like to float as he gently held her back with his hands. Each second he would pull his hands away, centimeter by centimeter, until he could barely feel the touch of her shirt against his fingertips. She began to sink and snapped open her eyes at the realization, frantically looking for him as she tried to lift her head.

"Joel!" she exclaimed.

"Shh - it's okay I gotcha - you're alright."

Her pony tail was soaked, and when she lifted it above the water it profusely dripped, creating small ripples just below her head.

"I'm'a let go okay?" he said as he began to pull his hands away once more.

"No! Don't! Not yet."

"Alright, alright - well how 'bout this... c'mere climb on my back."

"What?"

"Get on my back - c'mon."

"Umm - okay..." she said, as she pulled herself onto his back using his arm. She wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing until she felt secure enough.

"We're gonna go under. You ready?"

"What!? Under the surface!?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah - it'll be okay, trust me. You ain't goin' anywhere. You're gonna have to learn what it's like to be under water. Just uhh... make sure you blow through your nose after we submerge - I reckon your not gonna want water goin' up there," he said with a snicker.

She let out a deep breath and prepared herself. "Okay - on my count though - on three." She tightened her grip around his neck and began to count.

"One... two... two and a half... two and three quarters... three!"

Joel dropped his weight into the water until they were submerged, then swam forward. Ellie was immediately in awe of the foreign world that existed beneath the surface of the lake. It felt like a completely different planet and she could see rays of sunlight shine through the crystal clear water. Her lungs began to burn as they yearned for oxygen. She wasn't used to holding her breath and she tapped Joel on the shoulder, signaling that she wanted back up. He quickly swam to the surface and they both inhaled as they emerged from the depths of the lake.

Ellie reached her hand up to wipe the water from her eyes. "Wow! That was so cool! That was awesome! We were actually under water!"

"Yep - we were."

"Again! Do it again!"

"Haha - alright. Count us down kiddo."

"'Kay... one... two... three!"

Joel again dove under and attempted to swim deeper than before. Ellie made it further than the last time, then tapped him on the shoulder once again when she was ready to rise to the surface.

"See - it ain't so bad, right?" he asked, wiping the water from his face.

"Nope," she said with confidence.

"You wanna try dog paddlin'?"

"What?"

"Dog paddlin'... it's - I dunno, the first way to swim that everyone learns. Sure as hell was for me."

"Okay - don't let go though."

Joel let out a muffled laugh at her continued persistence in insisting he not let go.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna. Here just - you gotta cycle your hands and feet in a circular motion. See - like this," he instructed, lifting his hands to show her. "Ya know... like a dog - hence the name."

"Alright - sounds easy enough - here we go."

Ellie slid off of his back and felt his hands gently hold her beneath her stomach. She lifted her head up just above the surface and spat out some water from her mouth, then awkwardly tried to mimic his demonstration. Within a few seconds, she felt herself slightly move forward while staying afloat, albeit with Joel's hands supporting her.

"Oh! Look! Look! Haha! I'm doing it! See - I'm swimming!" she yelled with pride and a large smile.

"There ya go! See? You're a natural," he said in response.

He left his hands beneath her stomach, helping keep her afloat as she swam in a small circle around him.

"I'm gonna let go - you ready?"

"Umm... yeah - but only when I say. On my count."

"You got it."

"One... two... two and a half... three! Let go!"

Joel pulled his hands away and Ellie's heartbeat rapidly increased at the realization that she was now dog paddling on her own. She managed to keep her head above the surface as she continued to swim in a small circle, staying within close proximity in case she needed him.

"Hey! Look at that! Way to go!" Joel yelled, beaming with pride. His little girl learned how to swim and quickly at that.

She giggled as she gleefully splashed through the water, slowly swimming her circles. "Joel - see!? I can swim! I can actually swim now!"

He felt an intense wave of happiness shoot through his entire body. He smiled as he watched his daughter swim around him. She was as carefree as he'd ever seen and she finally got to be a child, something she never had. All of their moments together, good and bad, flashed through his mind. He remembered the frustration he felt when she was first dumped on him back in Boston almost a full year ago. He remembered the tickle in his heart when he asked her about the setting sun just behind the Boston capitol building. He thought about the time when he finally trusted her with his life, when he handed her the rifle to help protect him. He remembered finding her distraught, and completely dismantled in the burning building with that horrid monster. Most of all, he was reminded of carrying her limp, drugged up body through the hospital halls after rescuing her from certain death back in Salt Lake City. It was if he could hear the bullets from the Fireflies ricocheting off the walls next to him while sprinting for the elevator with his baby girl in his arms. He realized, everything they went through, everything they dealt with, positive and negative, all eventually lead them to this very moment. For that, he was grateful for each and every minute he spent with this little girl. For a fleeting second, he thought there was a higher power smiling down on him, granting him a second chance at life, a second chance at being a father, a second chance at _loving_ his daughter.

He loved her to death, and now, finally, he knew she loved him just as much.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So, I know it may seem like I'm making the OC's too sinister, but I want to say this one thing: They are actually based on people from my life. Michelle, specifically, is based on my stepmother. I'll leave it at that and say nothing more.**

 **Action coming soon, promise! Thank you again everyone for reading! Here's Chapter Six, enjoy.**

* * *

Ellie, exhausted from swimming, tiredly rested in Joel's arms as he carried her back home. Once she started swimming on her own, she didn't want to leave. The radius of her circles, centered around Joel, got bigger and bigger as she gained more confidence with each lap. Eventually, the sun began its descent and the warm, ambient temperature cooled, forcing them out of the water. Ellie started shivering and her lips turned blue once the two of them emerged onto the shore. Joel wrapped her in a towel, picked her up and they made their way back home. Her swollen ankle still throbbed with pain and began to show the early signs of severe bruising, but she was too happy in the current moment to even notice. However, in no more than fifteen minutes, she fell asleep in his embrace and was nuzzled into his shoulder. Her hair was almost completely dry, as the sound of water dripping from her pony tail onto the ground became less frequent.

Joel could see the front door to their home not far off as twilight took control of the evening sky. His shirt was still damp and a light breeze swept down the narrow road through Jackson, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin. At this point, Ellie had dried off, as she was snugly wrapped in the towel and in his arms, with only her little feet dangling out in the open, cold evening air. He slowed his pace, and looked down at her as she softly slept. He smiled and was reminded of the moment he had earlier, when he realized just how much he loved her, after everything they had dealt with darted through his mind. That moment, he would remember until his body rotted in the ground and his grave. His eyes started to well up at the sight, and he could feel his heart turning to mush. He sniffled, then looked up into the air.

 _Thank you._ He thought to himself. He wasn't sure if he was thanking Sarah, or some higher power.

He walked up the steps to the front door, lurched his hand forward from underneath Ellie's legs and managed to get it open. He stepped inside, kicked the door shut behind him and took a deep breath as he realized, once again, they were home. This was _their_ home. The concept still felt foreign, but he appreciated it nonetheless. He cautiously carried Ellie up the stairs to lie her down before getting some ice for her ankle. Her head shifted and she exhaled then smiled, aware of where she was. She was home, in her father's arms.

Joel walked past his room and continued down the hall. He was about to make the first attempt since her nightmare to put her in her own room. As he entered the doorway, he felt her tiny hand tug on his shirt as she let out a barely audible protest.

"Unh-unh," she muttered with a slight smile and a light shake of the head, while keeping her eyes closed.

Joel stopped, looked down at her once more and couldn't help but smile again due to her adorable reaction. He wanted her to become more independent and thrive like a normal child, but he always knew that would take time. Besides, he didn't mind her presence, he never minded it. Moreover, he knew Ellie wasn't just some normal child. The first fourteen years of her short life were drastically more traumatic and horrifying than those of anyone else he knew. He would be there for her no matter how long it took, or how old she got.

He made his way back to his room and gently laid her down on the bed. She yawned, then rubbed her eyes before looking up at him.

"Man - how long was I out?"

"Awhile - I reckon swimmin' knocked ya out."

"Yeah no kidding." She stretched her arms up and yawned once again.

Joel reached down and brushed the usual lock of hair behind her ear. His face was still glowing from earlier, while he carried her home. He couldn't hide his emotions.

"What? What's that look for?" Ellie shyly asked. She hadn't seen such a look from him before. It was almost as if all the pain that lingered behind his eyes vanished, and he appeared, dare she thought, happy.

"Huh? Oh - uhh... nothin' - just glad we're home."

She knew he wasn't telling the whole truth. She knew he wanted to say something more, something she yearned to hear. He wanted to, and he nearly convinced himself to do it, but he didn't. He felt the three words climbing their way from his gut. But as they reached the tip of his tongue he roped them back in, afraid to say them.

"Me too," she simply responded, once realizing there was nothing more to follow his previous statement.

"I'm'a go change and get ya some ice, 'kay kiddo?"

"Sure - I'll be here," she said with an exhale. "Can't really go anywhere even if I wanted to," she continued, pointing to her ankle.

"Heh - yeah. Well you might be outta commission for 'bout a week... but after that I reckon you'll be able to walk again," he responded, patting her on the shoulder.

Joel got up to change and fetch Ellie some ice.

She rolled onto her side and looked out the window, seeing the beautiful twilight landscape beyond it. Her ankle was throbbing, but she found herself not even thinking about the pain, nor the incident which caused it. Instead, she was fondly remembering swimming circles around Joel, on her own nonetheless, under the afternoon sun. In that moment, at the lake, she was as carefree and happy she had felt in as long as she could remember, and a smile stretched across her face. Like Joel, her mind started to run through each and every moment they had experienced over the past year, the good and the bad. She remembered joking with him in the car when she stole the adult magazine from Bill's. She remembered when his trust reached a new level when he handed her a pistol for the first time. She thought about the times when they were crouched, trying to sneak by a pack of hunters, and she was tucked safely under his arm as she knelt between him and an object for safety. She remembered waking up early, sneaking out of bed to surprise him with coffee in the morning.

Then, she thought about his lie, and a pang of anger coupled with guilt suddenly rushed through her. She was starting to accept that he would never come clean and that she would never know the full truth, something she was convincing herself to be at peace with. Yet, if she dwelt on it, she found herself backtracking and still feeling angry. However, those negative feelings and thoughts were quickly chased away when she remembered the most important thing of all. He was there for her, _always_. He _never_ abandoned her. She _never_ ended up _alone_. He kept his promise. She remembered, that pinnacle moment, when he pulled her into his arms for the first time and said those two, majestically powerful words.

 _Baby girl._

All of it, including his lie, lead them to where they were today. For that, she was thankful for each and every second she spent with this man who had become her father. Despite his shortcomings and faults, she loved him to death, and she knew he felt the same.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door and listened to Joel's footsteps stride across the floor to answer it. The window in the room was open, and she could feel a light gust of wind shoot through it. A voice from the person outside made its way to her ears and she immediately knew who it was. Michelle.

"Oh - hey there Michelle. What uhh... what brings ya over here?" Joel asked, standing in the doorway.

"Hey - I was just coming by to see how you and Ellie were doing. Tommy told me she took a nasty fall after I left this morning?"

"Yeah - poor girl fell off the ladder. It's my own damn fault - I should'a double checked the latch," he said with a sigh.

Ellie, still upstairs lying in bed, could hear every word of their conversation. She felt guilty that Joel was blaming himself, he shouldn't be. Deep inside she knew who was responsible, it was that conniving woman downstairs.

"Oh my god - is she okay?" Michelle asked, feigning a sense of worry.

"She'll be alright - she's tough as nails... always has been. She just sprained her ankle is all - nothin' major."

Ellie beamed with pride at his complement. She was glad, that even though he viewed her as his baby girl, he also knew how tough and self sufficient she really was.

"Wow - that's scary though. Glad she's alright," Michelle said.

"Yep."

An awkward silence fell between them.

"Well umm... have you eaten yet? I'm having dinner with Tommy and Maria tonight - wondered if you would like to join? You can bring some food back for Ellie, I'm sure they won't mind," Michelle continued. She cleverly, and proactively, implied that it would just be Joel and her, no Ellie.

Ellie, still privy to each and every word that hissed from Michelle's forked tongue, could feel her blood begin to boil.

Joel paused, slightly taken aback that she backhandedly implied Ellie was a burden, and that she wasn't really invited. For the first time since returning to Jackson, he got a strange feeling from Michelle, and now got the sense she really was chasing after him.

"Uhh - thanks for the offer, I appreciate it really, but I'm gonna stay here - take care of Ellie."

"You sure? Ya look like you could use a solid home cooked meal. C'mon, we won't be long."

Joel sighed.

Ellie's heart began to race in reaction to Joel's sigh and pause, was he actually considering leaving her?

"No... no - really thank you though, but I'm'a pass this time around - next time. Tell Tommy and Maria thanks as well."

Ellie's adrenaline started to secede. She smiled knowing he was staying with her and not joining that wretch for dinner.

Michelle ran a hand through her black hair and sighed.

"Okay - well..." She bit her lower lip, as she pondered her next words. "You haven't shown me your new home yet. Why don't I come in for a drink?"

Ellie's stomach rose to her throat and her breathing temporarily ceased.

Joel let out an awkward laugh then scratched his beard.

"Nah - really sorry, gonna have to say no to that as well. Ain't nothin' personal - just tonight's not the best. Some other time... I'd really like to, just now ain't the best time," he said, trying to be respectful of her feelings.

Michelle rocked her weight to her back foot and crossed her arms while letting out another sigh.

"I understand, it's okay. Have a good night, I'll see ya around?"

"Sure thing. Thanks for stoppin' by."

Joel shut the door and headed for the freezer to get some ice.

Ellie could hear Michelle's footsteps as she walked down the steps of the porch, then faintly heard her mutter something to herself. The words were barely audible, but she could hear them nonetheless.

"Stupid fucking kids," she spat to herself under her breath.

Ellie's eyes widened. Her conspiracy theory was becoming less and less conspiracy, but more and more reality by the moment. She wanted to tell Joel, but she couldn't. If he found out Michelle made any attempt to hurt her, she worried he would snap. What if, somehow, something would happen and she would lose him, forever? She couldn't even bare the thought, and she quickly dismissed her theory as paranoia once again.

Joel returned to her with a small bag of ice in his hand. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other.

"Sorry - Michelle was at the door."

"Oh," she simply responded. He could tell Ellie wasn't fond of Michelle, especially after her heartfelt confession the other night on the steps outside of the town hall.

Suddenly, an eerie thought ran through his mind. He looked at the ice, then at Ellie's ankle, then remembered that Michelle was the only other person around just before Ellie fell. Moreover, she was the only other person on that side of the wall, aside from Ellie, at the time. He remembered her saying goodbye and leaving, but he never physically witnessed her walking away with his own eyes. His paranoia whispered in the back of his mind that she was somehow responsible, but he shook it off assuming it was merely an aberration. No grown adult in Jackson would do that to his little girl, he thought. However, he'd seen what humanity was capable of, and at this point, there wasn't a single thing that would surprise him anymore. Regardless, he assumed his mind was playing tricks and he compressed the rage that was quickly building within.

"Here we go," he said with an exhale as he sat next to her on the bed, gently placing the ice on her ankle.

"Tsssshhh! Oh god that's cold!" Ellie said with an intense inhale.

"Yeah - it will be for awhile. It'll help though - trust me, I swear."

Ellie closed her eyes, pressed her head back against her pillow and scrunched her face.

"Auuuggghh! Fuck! It's so cold!" she yelled out.

Joel laughed in reaction. "I know - I know. You'll be alright. I reckon it'll go numb in a few minutes anyway... you'll stop feelin' it to be honest."

He rubbed her shoulder then ran his other hand through his hair.

"Gettin' hungry?"

"Hell yeah!" she exclaimed. All of the exercise from swimming had her stomach growling for food.

"Haha - well I'll go - "

Another series of knocks at the door interrupted him.

"Christ - what now..." he said with a sigh, rising to his feet. "Hang on - I'll be right back."

"'Kay."

Joel made his way downstairs and once again opened the door. Sean stood before him with his arms crossed.

"Hey there John."

Ellie heaved a sigh, she was annoyed hearing Sean once again getting her father's name wrong. She started to think he was doing it on purpose.

"It's Joel," Joel responded, as he leaned against the doorjamb.

"Yeah - right Joel... Ellie here? I told her to be ready," he said, as he started to walk into the house, uninvited.

Joel stuck out his arm and placed it against Sean's chest as the boy tried to disrespectfully push his way through him.

"The hell you think you're doin'?"

"Uhh - getting Ellie. Duh?"

"Jesus boy - you raised by wolves or somethin'? I don't know how it is 'round your house - but under our roof we show some damn respect," Joel said, his voice increasing in volume and frustration.

Ellie could hear the tone of his voice turn towards anger. She prayed nothing would happen between them. She knew Sean was just a teenager, raised by a psychopath for a father, and simply didn't know any better.

Sean ignored him, then leaned his head to the side and yelled her name.

"Ellie!" he barked.

It was the same bark Joel heard earlier in the day, and he gritted his teeth. He placed his hand on Sean's shoulder, tightly gripped it and slowly pushed him out the door, pulling it shut behind him. Ellie could still hear their entire conversation through the open window.

"Son - that, right there. You don't ever talk to Ellie that way, ever, ya hear? You speak to her the same way you speak to me - with respect. We clear?"

"Woah - easy Joel - yeah man I didn't mean any harm - I was ju - "

Joel interrupted him, pressing a pointed finger into his chest.

"I said - we clear!?" Joel bellowed out with a much deeper and more intimidating bark of his own.

"Jesus - yessir, crystal," Sean replied, taking a cautious step backwards.

"Repeat it."

"I speak to Ellie like I speak to you - with respect."

"Also... I'm just gonna say this now... you hurt her - at all... I swear to god I'll - " Joel stopped himself, sensing his protective rage was overtaking him. He clenched his fingers into a fist and squeezed as hard as he could, trying to let out the anger which shot through his body like lightning.

"You'll what? Kill me?" Sean said with a sarcastic, antagonizing laugh.

Joel took a deep breath, crossed his arms then stared him directly in the eyes, giving him the most intimidating, dead pan stare the young man had ever seen.

"Son - I've done much, much worse... don't you even think for a second I would hesitate - I wouldn't. You understand?"

Sean's eyes widened at the intensity of Joel's terrifying stare.

"Yes - Yessir. I - I understand," he nervously responded.

Joel sighed and finally relaxed. "Good."

He knew Sean was just a kid, but in reality, at age nineteen, the boy was technically an adult, and he wasn't going to let anyone treat his daughter that way.

Ellie's heart fluttered. She secretly loved knowing how protected she was as long as Joel was around. That concept, in itself, was entirely new. She never grew up with a loving, protective parent, mother or father. Even though she could always handle herself, her inner child always tickled her emotions with the thought of Joel's nurturing, protective care. However, she felt embarrassed for Sean, and knew he didn't mean any harm, or so she always assumed. Moreover, she was rather shocked to hear Joel's intense, volatile reaction to merely his words. It only confirmed to her that if she even mentioned Michelle was responsible for her injury, Joel would undoubtedly keep his promise from the other night. He would put her underground.

"Anyway - hate to say it but Ellie took quite a fall off the ladder today. Poor girl can't even walk - sorry son. Gonna have to give 'er a few days."

Sean gulped, still shaken from the previous seconds, and ran a hand through his hair. "Umm - yeah okay no problem. I'll see you later then."

"Alright," Joel responded as he leaned against the post at the edge of the porch. He cleared his throat.

"Hey uhh... Sean."

"Yeah?"

"Sorry - 'bout back there."

"It's alright - I know - you're a father. I have one too," he said with a sinister wink.

"Yeah... anyway - have a good night."

Joel went back inside and shut the door, locking the deadbolt this time. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed.

"Jesus... the hell is it with people tonight," he whispered to himself.

Ellie watched him once again rejoin her upstairs and sit beside her.

"That was Sean - told him ya couldn't hang out. Hope ya don't mind."

She simply nodded. Though, she appreciated that he actually considered her feelings on the matter. She looked up at him then let out a deep breath.

"Joel..."

"Yep?"

"Back in the fall - the first time we came here. Were you really going to get rid of me?" she asked as her eyes began to well up.

Joel sighed then awkwardly scratched his beard, searching for his words.

"I... ahh - I just wanted what was best for ya. Seriously." He tried to sound sincere, but knew she saw through him. Before their heart-to-heart talk in that ranch house, he really was going to leave her. He was going to abandon her.

He cleared his throat. "Why'd you run off on me in the first place?" he said with a playful smile as he pinched her on the shoulder.

"Because - I thought... I knew you tried to dump me off onto Tommy. I just knew it... and I didn't - I wanted..." She started to quietly cry.

"Ohh sweetie... I know... I'm - " He paused, not sure what to say next. He remembered that moment, when he made his final decree, that they were going their separate ways. A lump formed in his throat, just thinking of that occurring now hurt him. Splitting from his daughter was unimaginable, he would never do it.

"C'mere baby girl - I just thought it'd be for the best. Even for you - honestly." He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. Then wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Oh... well - what made you change your mind?" she asked with a sniffle.

"Like I told Tommy - Maria kinda scared me - didn't want her comin' after me."

"Ya know... you're not a very good liar," she said with a snicker, staring into his eyes. Her gaze pierced through his body and reached to the core of his soul.

They both knew exactly what was the underlying implication that swam beneath the surface of her pointed words, and a trickle of fear crept its way down his spine.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you again everyone for the reviews and great feedback! It means a lot to me and I am glad people are enjoying this.**

* * *

It had been a full month since Ellie fell from the ladder, hurting her ankle. She was relatively immobile for the first few weeks following her accident and required Joel's assistance to get around. He wanted her to stay home and rest while he catered to the construction duties, but she insisted on coming along. Her desire to be strong, and feel useful, remained an ever constant. Moreover, the darkest depths of her mind knew that Michelle was responsible for her injury, and she wasn't going to let that woman pull her and Joel apart.

Joel would give her piggy back rides around Jackson, to wherever they needed to go, and twice a week they would venture back to the lake and go for a swim at the end of the day. Eventually, Ellie's ankle fully healed and she was able to walk, but the piggy back rides didn't cease. Despite her regained mobility, Joel would still prop her up on his back and carry her to the lake, like he did the very first time they went there. Neither of them ever questioned the action, or mentioned anything about it later. At this point, him giving her a familial and affectionate ride to the lake was customary and it would feel strange if he suddenly stopped.

Tommy and Maria saw them frequently, and the pair of them would alternate when it came to hosting dinner. Ellie, still very guarded, was finally allowing Tommy and Maria to get close, accepting them as allies. Eventually, she barely began considering them family, which, in the end, is what they were. During the weeks of Ellie's recovery, Michelle started to make more appearances at their home. Joel finally gave in and brought her inside, giving her the tour of the place and the three of them even spent a few evenings together, although Ellie was always quiet and reserved during those moments. Joel sensed Michelle continuing her aggressive play for him, but always kept her at a distance, something he knew bothered her. She was persistent though, and eventually he started to view her as an acquaintance, but nothing more. However, the woman still had no interest in Ellie and was always coldly dismissive. When Joel would get up to use the bathroom, leaving the two of them alone, she wouldn't even acknowledge Ellie's presence. It was as if Michelle was trying to convince herself that Ellie wasn't real, and that she would eventually just disappear.

Sean also came by more often. It took a few days, though, after his run-in with Joel until he came back, something Joel was quietly pleased with himself over. Sean and Ellie would talk and hang out in the backyard, on the porch, or in the living room, always within eyesight of him. There were multiple times when Sean suggested going somewhere else, with just Ellie, but she wasn't interested in leaving her home without her father. Occasionally, he would catch Sean ogling Ellie in ways that clearly exposed the thoughts that lurked in the boy's head, and each time he fell witness to Sean's lustful stare, he would feel an intense sense of protection rise from within. However, he was always satisfied to find that Ellie never once looked at Sean in the same way. As far as he was concerned, his little girl had zero interest, and each time he watched her keep Sean at a distance he smirked with relief. Still, there was something that irritated Joel about the boy. At times he would get the feeling Sean was trying to pull Ellie away from him, something that only perpetuated his distrust. He was becoming Ellie's friend though, and Joel didn't want to impede their budding relationship.

Ellie had, for the most part, accepted the fact that Joel lied to her. If he hadn't brought it up by now, she thought he never would. She locked it away deep in the back of her mind, but didn't necessarily throw away the key. She still had it, but she buried it in a dark, dark place. A place, that if she mentally ventured to, scared her off and thus guarded the scab that covered those deep, emotional wounds that were carved into her from the past year. The frequency of the moments in which she would dwell on the topic became less and less, and eventually she stopped thinking about it altogether. She merely tried to accept that bump in their relationship as exactly that, a bump in the road and nothing more. After all, he became, and was, everything she wanted. Which was a loving father and one that would never abandon her.

It was early in the evening, and the two of them were eating dinner with Tommy and Maria as they prepped themselves for their guard tower shift for the night. Maria cooked them a satiating meal to keep their bellies full for the duration of their shift. Joel and Tommy were just finishing their food while Maria and Ellie were clearing the table.

"Oh - Ellie you don't have to do that," Maria kindly said, insisting Ellie sit back down and relax.

"No - it's fine. Let me help - thanks for the food - it was awesome," Ellie replied with a smile.

Joel paused before taking his last bite and looked back at Ellie, pleased with her improved manners. In only a few short months, she had stopped cussing at the table, something which he was proudly fond of. He was trying so hard to raise his little girl right, and moments that revealed he just might be succeeding made him happy. He took his last bite then looked at Tommy.

"Alright - keep your radio on ya. Maria and I always sleep with ours on the nightstand... anything happens - you turn that thing to channel four and holler ya hear?" Tommy said.

"You got it," Joel responded.

Ellie walked up behind him and rested her chin on his shoulder. He smiled from the contact, reached his hand back and messed with her hair.

"I reckon I'll be fine - got this little bugger here to protect me," he said with a wink.

Ellie smiled and beamed with pride at Joel's response. He turned his head to speak to her.

"You bring a couple of your comics? Could get borin' out there."

"Yep - sure did."

"Good - well let's get goin' then."

The two of them grabbed their things and headed for the door, again thanking Tommy and Maria for the kind hospitality. Just before closing it behind them, Tommy spoke once more.

"Remember - anything happens at all, you call us alright?"

"Sure thing - I promise."

* * *

A half-moon moon vibrantly glowed in the midnight sky. A few, thin clouds would occasionally gust over it, causing the moonlight to fade in and out. It was oddly cold for a late June night and Ellie regretted not bringing her sweater, as she only wore a t-shirt over a thermal. Joel could tell she was cold, and gave her his flannel to keep her warm. Underneath it, he also only wore a t-shirt, but he didn't mind the lower temperature as much as she did. She still hated it.

She sat against the wall of the guard tower with her knees to her chest, reading her comic book while wrapped in Joel's flannel. It was much too big on her, but she didn't care. It kept her warm, and its scent reminded her of him. Joel, with his rifle slung over his shoulder, leaned against one of the poles that reached to the roof of the tower and gazed beyond the fence of the compound. At first, he diligently kept his eyes peeled, darting his attention to anything that made the slightest sound. But as the hours went by, he could feel himself getting tired and lazy, and at this point he simply watched for anything blatantly out of the ordinary. He sighed, then looked down at Ellie.

"Bored yet?"

"Heh - yeah pretty much," she said, looking up at him.

"Hey - c'mere - wanna show ya somethin'," Joel said, waving his hand to beckon her over.

"Umm - okay," She set her book down, rose to her feet then readjusted the flannel so it tightly wrapped around her. She shuffled her way over to him and leaned onto the railing.

"See where I'm pointin' - you see those stars?" he asked.

"Yeah I guess."

"You ever learn about stars and the constellations an' all that?"

"Tssht - nope."

"Yeah... I didn't think so. Well anyway, this one here - it's called the Little Dipper. Cause it's supposed to look like a uhh... damn... can't think of the word for it..." he said, scratching his beard.

"A ladle?" she said, peering at what Joel was pointing to.

"Yes - that's it. Exactly. See - don't it kinda look like that?"

Ellie squinted her eyes, blurred her vision and tried to make out the shape he was referring to.

"Oh yeah - I can kinda see it now." She let out a small laugh. "That's cool actually. Show me another," she demanded as her curiosity perked up.

"Hmm... ah-hah - this one here is called Taurus."

"Okay - I see it but... what the hell is a Taurus?"

Joel snickered. "It's like a uhh... ya know - a bull."

"As in bull shit? Like the animal?" she responded.

A boisterous laugh escaped Joel's lungs in reaction to Ellie's blunt response. "That's - that's exactly right, yes... like bull shit - from the animal."

"Alright - lemme see here," she squinted her eyes once again, trying to make out the shape of a bull from the constellation.

"I don't see it - I dunno, I'd say you're reaching on that one," she said with an airy laugh.

"Hmm, alright... how about..." Joel mumbled as he searched the sky for one with a more recognizable shape. Then, all of a sudden, he could faintly hear noises coming from the forest, pulling his attention away from the night sky.

"Oh! What about this one over - " Ellie started to speak, but was interrupted by a shush from Joel, "shh! Quiet."

Ellie pulled herself off the railing, and perked her ears up, straining to hear what he was referring to.

"What - what is it?"

"You hear that?"

"No - I don't hear... oh wait. Yeah - what is that?"

"I ain't sure but it sounds like an engine - lots of 'em actually."

Suddenly, a blinding array of headlights appeared over the crest of the hill beyond the fence. Multiple trucks rolled and crunched their way through the shrubbery as they quickly approached the perimeter of the compound.

"Shit! Ellie get down - get down!" Joel yelled through a whisper.

She knelt behind the wall and felt Joel put his hand against it above her head. His protective instincts kicked in and he leaned in close to her, in an attempt to keep her safe. It was a familiar position they were in, Ellie kneeling to the ground, in between Joel and an object. Feeling the touch of her father's breath against her neck and the close, protective comfort caused a flurry of memories from their horrifying journey to shoot through her mind. Her adrenaline level spiked, as she knew the trucks meant danger. Neither of them had to fight for survival in months, and feeling this way again was odd. Yet, it felt entirely too normal, and they both immediately reverted to survivalist mode, a mode that in the past kept them alive through the harshest of conditions.

"The radio - give it here," Joel whispered.

Ellie quickly reached over, grabbed the radio and turned it to channel four.

"Tommy!" Joel yelled into it.

There was no answer.

"Goddammit - Tommy pick up."

The radio crackled from the other end, and Tommy's voice echoed through the speaker.

"Joel - I'm here. What is it?"

"We got problems - can't tell what yet - just... just get you and your boys out here!"

"Shit - alright, on our way - tell me what ya see."

They could hear Maria speaking in the background.

"Tommy - Tommy! What is it!? What's going on!?"

"I dunno... somethin' - somethin's happenin'. Grab your shit and lets go."

Joel and Ellie looked each other in the eyes, realizing the situation was no dream. It was real, and another all too familiar struggle for life was about to take place. Tommy's voice pulled them out of their gaze.

"Joel! Whadd'ya see - talk to me."

They could hear the sound of car doors slamming shut and the voices of men. However, one truck revved its engine, dispersing a roar through the woods and the brisk, nighttime air. Joel slightly lifted his head above the edge to investigate the scene.

"Trucks - lots of trucks. I'm countin' maybe - ten, fifteen - maybe twenty men - I dunno too god damn many - oh shit!"

The level of panic in Tommy's voice increased on the other end. "What!? The hell's goin' over there?"

"Their gonna - ahhh shit! Their gonna run a truck through the damn wall! Just get here!" Joel exclaimed through the radio. He moved it to his offhand, grabbed his rifle then pulled the lever back, readying the weapon for fire. He looked to Ellie and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You remember how to do this?"

She already wielded her pistol, loaded and ready, and simply nodded as a nervous look engulfed her face. Killing to survive was something she did many times before, but the act still made her nervous and she never really got used to it. She was, after all, still just a kid.

"Okay - you stay close to me alright?" Joel said, as a paternal look washed over his eyes.

"Yeah - I'm right here."

Suddenly, they heard the engine roar as the truck slammed into the wall. The force of the impact caused the guard tower to sway in one direction, knocking them on their backs in the process.

"Oh fuck! What the - what the hell are they doing!?" Ellie shouted.

"Their tryin' to break' in - c'mon we gotta move! Move, move!" Joel yelled, motioning her to run down the steps.

They descended from the tower as fast as they could, then scanned their surroundings for a place to take cover.

"Joel! Look - there!" Ellie shouted, pointing to a large dumpster.

"Go! Go!" he yelled.

They were at a full sprint for the dumpster that sat no more than seventy feet from the tower. Every few seconds they would hear the crunching and grinding of metal as the truck slammed into the wall again and again. They knelt behind their cover and frantically looked down the road, desperate to see Tommy and his militia approaching in order to provide support.

"Ahhh god dammit! Tommy where are you c'mon," Joel said, gritting his teeth.

The wall was about to come down, time was of the essence and he had to think fast. The next slam of the truck would pummel it to the ground and if he and Ellie gave no resistance, the small army of hunters or bandits, he wasn't sure which, would come pouring into the compound. He looked at her, rapidly sifting through his thoughts trying to determine the best course of action.

"Shit ahh - you got a piece of cloth with ya? An old shirt?" he asked in a panic.

"No - nothing... oh wait - use this!" Ellie lifted up and stretched a wide piece of his flannel, imploring him to rip off a large chunk.

"Good thinkin'," Joel said as he reached over and tore an entire side of the shirt in two.

Then it happened, the last crunch of the truck ramming into the wall. They could hear the screeching of metal as it twisted and came crashing to the ground.

Joel pulled out a bottle of whiskey that he placed in his pack the week before, stuck the torn shirt inside and pulled out his lighter. He set the tip of the shirt aflame, then hurled the Molotov towards the gaping hole in the wall. Just as five men ran through the opening, the bomb exploded upon impact, causing their bodies to burst into flames. Joel and Ellie could hear their horrifying screams as their skin and hair sizzled away into the air. The smell was awful, and the two of them couldn't believe they actually became immune to its pungent scent during their travels. Burning human flesh had one of the most distinct, recognizable smells, and its horrid stench immediately brought back a plethora of terrifying memories.

Ellie looked back and saw Tommy with Maria and a small group of men storming their way down the road towards them.

"It's Tommy!" she said, tapping him on the shoulder.

Once they saw the toppled piece of wall and the burning bodies along with the array of headlights, Tommy and Maria immediately knew what was happening. They hastily ran to the side of a house for cover, while the rest of the militia spread out, finding cover of their own.

"Joel! How many!" Tommy yelled from across the street.

"I can't tell - gotta be more than twenty! Like I said, too god damn many!"

Tommy leaned over to Maria. "He's got that right," he said, muttering the words under his breath.

More bandits and hunters rushed into the compound. Bullets began flying back and forth between the two forces and Joel could hear multiple pings against the side of the steel dumpster while he and Ellie took cover. One of Tommy's men ran up and knelt beside them. His hands were shaking and he could barely hold his rifle steady.

A lapse occurred in the continuous sound of bullets slamming into the dumpster, causing Joel to rise to his feet. He peered down his scope and quickly brought a bandit in sight. He pulled the trigger, and within moments the content's of the man's head exploded onto the bumper of the truck. Ellie leaned around the corner and fired two rounds from her pistol into the chest of the closest bandit she could see. The two of them then immediately retreated back down for cover, but the nervous solider next to them tried to follow suit. However, he was too late, he missed his opportunity, and the familiar sound of bullets which always vehemently reminded Joel and Ellie to stay hidden resumed once again. The man stood up and before he could pull the trigger, multiple rounds pierced into his chest, sending him to the ground right at Ellie's feet.

"Oh shit! Oh shit!" Ellie clamored in reaction.

"Ellie! Take his rifle!" Joel shouted.

She obeyed and quickly reached for his gun then loaded a bullet into the chamber. Joel looked over at Tommy and Maria, the two of them taking turns firing around the corner then hiding behind their cover. Suddenly, Joel could see the tip of a rifle appear behind the far wall opposite of his brother.

"Tommy! On you're left!" Joel shouted.

Maria, without thinking, immediately reacted to his warning. She turned to her left and fired her rifle at a bandit that had just stepped around the corner, saving their lives in the process.

Joel peaked his head up and saw a nail bomb get flung into the air by one of the bandits. He watched it land and roll until it was about fifteen feet away from the dumpster. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Ellie lean around the corner at the same time to take her next shot.

"No! No!" he screamed out, dropping his rifle to the ground.

He dove forward, wrapped his arms around Ellie and yanked her backwards just as the bomb exploded, sending shrapnel in every direction. The two of them could hear the shards of metal piercing into the side of the dumpster as Joel clutched her close to his chest. She quickly stared up at him with a look of shock across her face, tightly gripping his sleeves as she sat in his embrace. Even now, during this life or death situation, she felt safe in his arms. But she couldn't stay there, they both had to keep fighting.

"Oh shit - oh fuck - oh fuck," she said in a panic.

"Honey! You okay!?" Joel shouted.

"Yeah - yeah I'm alright!" she replied with a nod.

Joel heaved a sigh of relief then loosened his engulfing grasp around his daughter. He gave her a nod, acknowledging the fact that they needed to keep fighting, then reached for his rifle.

The epic firefight continued for fifteen minutes, each side taking casualties of their own as the last wave of men emerged through the break in the wall. The sound of gunfire raged through the mountainous region of Jackson. Ellie and Joel took turns carefully firing over the dumpster, picking off their enemies one at a time. The loud crackle of their rifles sliced through the air with each shot, causing their ear drums to rattle in discomfort. Even though both of them had yet to miss, the invaders were slowly winning. Inch by inch, foot by foot, they crept their way further up the road with each life they claimed from Tommy's men. Joel knew they were fighting a losing battle. Something had to change.

"Motherfucker! There's too many of them!" Ellie yelled to him, just after taking another shot.

"Ahhh! Goddammit I know!" he bellowed out.

He scanned his surroundings, searching for an answer that would once again pull them away from the brink of death. A three story house not far in the distance caught his attention. On the top floor, he spotted a window that provided the perfect lookout point over the entire road, which had become a gory battlefield riddled with bodies. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes as he realized what he was about to say. He was going to separate from Ellie. Not a single part of him liked the thought, but he knew they had no choice. It was their best bet.

"Ellie! Look at me," he said, as he placed his hand on her back.

Her youthful, innocent, emerald eyes immediately shot to his face as she gave him her undivided attention. She looked terrified, but he could tell she was giving it her all when it came to staying strong.

"See that house over there - the really big one - three stories!?" he yelled, trying to lift his voice above the roaring gunfire.

"Yeah - I see it!" she responded through an exhale as she wiped the sweat off her brow.

He leaned in close to her, his lips merely inches from her ear.

"Look I - " Even in this life or death situation, this intense moment, he hesitated to speak his mind. He couldn't bare the thought of separating from his little girl at a time like this. But he had to, they had no choice. Again, this was their best chance for survival, which in the end, meant further guaranteeing her longevity. "I need you to get up there - go to the third story - to that window - you see it?"

"Uh-huh," she said with a nod through panted breaths.

"You gotta get up there - pick off the ones closest to us and work your way back. You gotta be fast with each shot - quick as hell, ya hear me?"

She couldn't believe he was willingly letting her split from him, but she knew she had to. They desperately needed an advantage.

"Okay - you got it," she said, as she started to pull away.

"Wait! One more thing - " Joel shouted, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Trade me rifles!" Joel commanded.

"What? Why!?"

"You're more familiar with it and it holds three rounds instead of just one! Take it!"

Just as she went to pull away once more, Joel reached his hand out and gently grabbed her small arm. He turned her so she was facing him and gazed into her eyes.

"Ellie - baby... promise me you'll be careful."

She could see his eyes barely begin to well up, and knew he wanted to say one more thing, but the words still didn't leave his lips. However, the loving, parental stare said more than any words could. She knew he loved her, and she knew she couldn't let him down.

"I will - I got this. I promise," she reassured.

He watched Ellie cautiously run her way back towards the three story home. She mindfully ran behind cover each chance she could, keeping herself out of harm's way. She kicked the front door open and stepped into the empty, vacant house. She sprinted as fast as she could up the stairs. Her mind was in a trance, she wasn't even thinking about how tired or sore she felt, she simply refused to let her father down. She burst into the bedroom on the third story and frantically opened the window. She rested the barrel of her rifle on the sill and took a deep breath as she prepared herself for what was coming next. The entire spectacle lay before her, the view of the battlefield in plain sight as each bandit was now clearly visible. She darted her eyes to where Joel was still kneeling, behind the dumpster, ensuring he was still safe.

She peered down the scope of her rifle and brought the head of a bandit into focus.

 _Bang!_

The weapon's distinguished crackle rippled through the air and within milliseconds the bullet collided with the man's skull. She quickly, yet calmly, shifted the barrel to the left and fired again.

 _Bang!_

Another bandit fell to the ground as the large bullet reamed into his chest.

 _Bang!_

She fired again, taking her next victim. She was trained well. She had yet to miss, and she was reminded of her and Joel's daunting fight against the horde of infected in that large, sprawling parking lot months ago. She was a killing machine. And like a machine, she quickly loaded three more rounds into the chamber without thinking or hesitation, then pulled the lever back. Within seconds, she rained down her fury once again in the form of three more bullets, each one perfectly placed.

Joel could hear each of her shots, the length of time in between them getting shorter and shorter.

"Just like that girl - good job kiddo," he whispered to himself.

Tommy, surprised and unaware of where the rapidly occurring rifle shots were coming from, glanced towards the large building only to see Ellie peering through the third story window. He noticed her muzzle flash then immediately heard a cry of pain off in the distance as another bandit fell victim to her deadly aim. Even though his adrenaline was pumping through his heart, and he was in the fight for his life, he thought to himself and realized Joel really wasn't lying. Ellie was one hell of a shot, the best he'd ever seen. Right now, she was the grim reaper. She was the angel of death elegantly creeping along the battlefield, tearing the soul from her victims one pull of the trigger at a time.

"Goddamn - keep it up Ellie!" he yelled to her.

Joel stood up and took a shot of his own, hitting another bandit in the head, then ducked behind the dumpster for cover. The tide was turning, they were pushing the invaders back. The sound of Ellie's shots rang through the air and became music to their ears. Each set of three lurched them closer and closer to the finish line. The end was in sight, and Joel could only see one more left.

"One more! Just in front of the wall - to the right!" he barked out to Tommy.

Ellie, hearing Joel's directions, swayed the barrel of her rifle in that direction. She saw the bandit in question, and went to place her last bullet in the chamber. As she brought it to the rifle, it slipped from her fingers and dropped to the floor. She frantically bent down to pick it up, but her hands were shaking from the adrenaline and the knowledge that they were so close to safety. Rising to her feet, she saw the man heave a large nail bomb far into the air, causing her breathing to intensify. She loaded her last bullet into the chamber, immediately gazed through the scope and within a second brought her enemy's head into her sight. She pulled the trigger and watched as the bullet cored its way into the man's skull, sending his dying, twitching body to the ground.

Within a second of witnessing her final victim breathe his last breath, she heard the bomb go off. The loud bang pulled her attention to it's origin, far to her left and to the one location she dreaded.

A mere twenty feet behind the dumpster.

Her eyes widened and her heartbeat suddenly quadrupled in frequency. It felt like it was going to burst from her chest as the amount of adrenaline which coursed through her veins caused her insides to churn. She felt like she was going to vomit.

Her worst nightmare suddenly was rapidly becoming a reality. She saw her father's body lying on the ground. He slowly lifted his head and looked to her, then collapsed his face back into the dirt.

She opened her mouth to scream but was so petrified at the sight, only the sound of her lungs relinquishing a massive breath escaped her lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Cliffhanger! Sorry, but it had to happen at some point right? Anyway, I tried not to keep you waiting too long though! ;)**

 **This one was hard to write... I'm not sure why. However, after reading the final product it may be my favorite chapter so far. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!**

* * *

Ellie's heart vigorously pounded away behind her rib cage. Panic seeped into every ounce of her blood and she stormed down the steps of the house. She leaped down each flight of stairs, three, sometimes even four or five steps at a time, frantic to get to her father's side. The image of him looking up at her while he lay in the dirt was engraved in her brain. It would haunt her dreams for the rest of eternity, even after death. She could feel her limbs begin to shake from nervousness and fear. Her eyes started to well up and she was on the verge of breaking down into uncontrollable sobs. She reached the bottom floor and scrambled out the door onto the street.

There were bodies everywhere. The piece of wall which the truck slammed into repeatedly like a battering ram lay in ruin. However, it was dead silent. There was no gunfire, no cries of death, nobody barking out orders. All she could hear was the thumping of her heart in her chest and her short, quick panicked breaths. Whether the area was really clear of bandits or not never even entered her mind. She was tunnel visioned on one objective and one objective only, her father. She sprinted over to him as he still lay face first in the dirt.

"Joel! No! No! Joel!" she screamed as she approached him.

She slid her hands underneath him and rolled him onto his back then lowered her head to his chest to listen for a heartbeat. It was still there, barely. She frantically scanned her eyes over his body, trying to spot the mortal wound. There it was, a massive gash in his thigh. The amount of blood gushing from it meant certain doom if the gaping hole wasn't closed soon.

"He's still breathing! He's alive - fucking - it's his leg! Help! Someone fucking help! Fucking help!" she screamed through her tears.

Tommy finally noticed what happened once his adrenaline faded and he realized the fight was over. Ellie's frantic screams immediately pulled his attention to her, kneeling over his brother's body.

"Oh god no - Joel! Fuck!" He threw his rifle to the ground and ran over.

Ellie's soul crushing shouts cut Maria right to the bone. The pain in her voice was unbearable, causing Maria to collapse to her knees and weep in horror. She brought her hand over her mouth.

"Oh no - oh my god no," she muttered to herself.

Tommy knelt beside Joel's body and immediately noticed the gash in his leg. He slowly and nervously lurched his hands towards the wound to inspect it. He grabbed the tear in his jeans and tore his pant leg open, completely exposing the gruesome sight that was Joel's mangled thigh. Tommy rose the back of his hand to his mouth as he recoiled in disgust.

"Oh fuck - Jesus Christ..." He took a deep breath then looked at Ellie.

"What! How bad - what is it!?" Ellie stammered.

"I think he's... holy shit - I need'a closer look."

"Then fucking do it!" Ellie screamed.

"Joel - I know you're still there - I know you can hear me... this is gonna hurt but we gotta do it," Tommy said, trying to prepare his brother for the pain.

He crept his hands towards Joel's blood covered leg. He pressed two fingers from each one on either side of the wound. He lightly pulled the open skin apart to see where the shrapnel undoubtedly made its way into. Joel let out a barely audible cry in pain, signifying that life still flowed through his veins.

Ellie immediately reacted to his cry and gasped as she scrambled over to his head to provide him comfort, realizing he really was still alive.

She caressed his head as she barely pulled him up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gripped him tightly, praying the closer she held him the more chance he had of survival.

"C'mon - stay with me - it's okay - it's okay. We're gonna get through this - I've got you - I've got you. You're okay. Please - please don't go... please," Ellie pleaded, whispering into his hair as she pressed her lips against his head. Tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"El - Ellie..." Joel barely muttered. He managed to bring his hand up and place it over hers which were desperately grasped around his neck.

She scrunched her eyes shut and let out an airy sigh of relief coupled with a quiet sob. She was relieved to hear his voice, relieved to hear him say her name. "Shh - I'm here - I'm here... I've got you. Shh - it's okay." More tears dripped from her exhausted eyes onto his hair as she let out another convulsive sob. She gripped him even tighter as death tried to pull him away into the black abyss. But she wouldn't let it happen. She would not let him go, she refused to let him go.

"Tommy! Hurry the fuck up! Tell me what to do!" she stammered.

He cleared his throat then took another deep breath. "Okay - Ellie... listen to me."

"I'm fucking listening! Tell me god dammit!" she yelled, fear and panic still palpable in her voice.

"There's a piece of shrapnel lodged in there. It's gotta come out it's - it damn nearly struck the artery - I reckon each second it's in there it's got a chance to rupture it. The thing has to come out."

Ellie looked at him in fear, but also in shock, amazed Joel was just lucky enough that the projectile which flung from the nail bomb barely missed his femoral artery.

"We gotta get him outta here - get him to the H.C. and we'll - " Tommy continued, but Ellie interrupted him.

"Fuck! No! He won't make it that long - he's fucking bleeding to death! We do it here - I'll do it! Move! Move!" Ellie yelled as she pushed Tommy aside.

Tommy sensed the sudden display of dominance and command from Ellie as she barked at him to move. She was in control now, and he was oddly okay with it. He knew she was hellbent on keeping his brother alive, keeping her father alive, and that was all that mattered. She quickly took off what remained of the flannel shirt which Joel gave her earlier and handed it to Tommy.

"Here - when I get it out... you wrap that as tight as you can - got it?"

Tommy nodded. "Got it."

A group of Tommy's men gathered around and watched in horror as him and Ellie tried to keep Joel from perishing. One of them cautiously approached and touched Joel on the leg, trying to assure him everything would be okay. It provoked a protective shout from Ellie.

"Hey! Don't fucking touch him! Nobody touches him but Tommy and I!"

The man immediately jolted backwards and nervously shuffled away.

Maria rose to her feet, her hand still over her mouth and tears running down her cheeks. She joined the rest of the group and watched in despair as her brother-in-law fought for his life.

"Tommy - grab his hand," Ellie commanded.

He obeyed and reached down to grip his brother's hand.

"Joel - this is gonna hurt alright? I know it's gonna hurt - I know just - just squeeze Tommy's hand okay?" she said, trying to soothe him before plunging her fingers into his flesh to pull out the piece of shrapnel.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then counted to three.

 _I got this. You can do it. He needs you Ellie. He needs you now more than ever,_ she thought to herself.

Her eyes snapped open, and she moved her fingers towards his open wound. Her hand was shaking, every nerve in her body tingled with fear and apprehension.

"Ahhhh - fuck!" she yelled, while taking another deep breath and shaking her hand, trying to rid herself of her jitters.

"Ellie! Time's wastin' - fuckin' do it!" Tommy implored.

"I know! I know! Fuck! Okay - okay here we go - phew."

She plunged her fingers into his leg. He let out a terrifying roar in pain and squeezed Tommy's hand as hard as he could. Tommy placed his other one over Joel's and squeezed as well.

"C'mon buddy - we got this. We're gonna get through it - I promise," he said to his brother, encouraging him to stay strong.

Ellie felt her stomach rise into her throat. She wanted to throw up the entire contents of her dinner right there on the road, but suppressed the urge to do so. No fourteen year old girl should ever have to go through what she was experiencing right at this moment. But she had no choice, she had to succeed here, if not, he was gone. She gently pushed a chunk of muscle to the side and could see the piece of metal in question. She brought her other hand over to hold his flesh aside, then tightly gripped the tip of shrapnel with two fingers. She lifted her head and looked at Tommy.

"Okay - I've got it. I'm gonna pull - you ready?" she asked.

Tommy simply nodded then looked down at his brother. "Joel! Hey! Look at me! Keep your eyes here - look at me! Don't look away - squeeze my hand okay? We're almost done, last part - here we go alright?" Joel slowly turned his eyes towards his brother and intensely gazed into his soul. He knew what was coming next, and no matter how much preparation his brain did, he wasn't ready for the incoming pain.

Ellie started to pull the metal from his flesh, feeling his nearby muscles tighten in reaction. He let out a scream from the horrific pain and a few tears began to form at the base of his eyes. It felt like someone was dragging a jagged piece of glass across his bare flesh, slowly ripping the muscle tissue away centimeter by centimeter. The misery he experienced when he was impaled by the metal rod paled in comparison to this. The heart wrenching cry from his voice caused Ellie to stop, she couldn't bare the thought that she was the one causing him this much pain. She felt like she was torturing him.

"Ellie! Don't fuckin' stop what're you doin'!"

"Okay! Fuck! I - aahhhhhh god dammit!" she yelled as she commenced pulling her fingers out once more.

Joel gave one last blood curdling scream as Ellie managed to finally remove the piece of metal from his leg. She threw it to the side and immediately scooted her way to his head while Tommy went to work on wrapping his leg to stop the bleeding. She held him up by the neck, wrapped her arms around him once more and whispered to him as she pressed her lips to his hair.

"Shh - shh I know - I know - it's over - it's over. You're okay... you're okay... we're okay," she said, her voice trailing off as she began to sob once more. Her heart still pounded away in her chest, but the adrenaline was beginning to fade and her limbs finally stopped shaking.

Tommy tied the final knot of the shirt that clenched around Joel's leg. The profuse amount of blood that leaked from his wound lessened, but he wasn't in the clear quite yet.

"We gotta get him to the H.C. - he ain't gonna make it long without stitches."

Ellie shot him a glare. "No! No one sews him up but me! I've fucking done it before and I'll do it again. He comes back home," she said with demanding insistence.

Somehow, Tommy was inclined to believe her. He trusted her. After all, Joel told him stories about how many times she saved his life. What would cause him to think she couldn't do it again? He sighed then ran his hands through his hair.

"Fine. But we gotta - we gotta move now - you're gonna have to get those in him fast. Maria!" Tommy shouted, lifting his head as he searched for his wife.

"Yeah I'm here. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm gonna get his shoulders - I need you to grab his feet - Houser!" Tommy yelled.

"Yup - how can I help?" Houser replied, emerging from the crowd which was still gathered around.

"I want you to hold him up... under his waist - keep him flat alright? Don't let him droop - or you'll hurt him."

"Yessir."

Houser jogged over and placed his hands underneath Joel's back, prepping himself to lift in unison with Tommy, Maria and Ellie.

"Ellie - ya still here girl?" Tommy asked, as he looked up to see her emptily gazing at Joel's face.

"Yeah I'm... I'm here," she said, looking up from her father's watering eyes.

"You stay right by his side okay? I want you standing opposite of Houser - next to his leg. You keep that goddamn thing shut alright?"

Ellie nodded in agreement. She would do anything Tommy said if it meant keeping Joel alive, especially if it meant not leaving his side.

"Alright - everyone else move the fuck out of the way! Start cleanin' up!" Tommy barked.

His men immediately obeyed and went to work on cleaning up the debris and remnants from the epic firefight.

"Okay - on three and we lift. Here we go."

"One - two - three - lift!"

The four of them carefully lifted Joel into the air and carried him down the road back home. Ellie stayed plastered to his side, talking to him the entire way, keeping his mind in the present.

"Joel - how we doin'? Stay with me - c'mon - we're almost there," she said.

She reached her tiny hand over and wiggled her fingers in between his. She clasped them around his hand and could feel his grip barely tighten around them, signaling he was still alive. She kept her hand in that exact spot for the duration of the walk back home. She looked at him and saw him return her gaze. Their eyes met, and she could sense the amount of pain and despair that resided under the surface of his face. She started to cry once more, and the thought that she could still, possibly lose him, crept its way to the front of her mind. Tears ran down her cheeks as she was reminded once again of Rliey's powerful words.

 _We fight for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether its two minutes, or two days. We don't give that up._

At that moment, she vowed not to lose him. She would fight until she was within an inch of her life if it meant keeping him alive. She was ready to sacrifice everything to keep him from leaving her, to keep him forever by her side. No matter how hard death may try to pull him away, she was not letting go. She simply refused to let him die and right then, just now, she felt an enormously powerful feeling rush through her body. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced since before the two of them arrived in Salt Lake City months ago. It was _purpose_. She finally, after feeling empty and lost with no direction since arriving in Jackson, had a new sense of _purpose._ And it was him, her father.

* * *

The four of them finally arrived at Joel and Ellie's home, with Joel barely clinging to life. They carried him up the stairs and laid him on his bed. Earl, one of Tommy's men, was sent to the health center to fetch rubbing alcohol, some penicillin, a syringe and lastly, needle and thread. Ellie never left Joel's side, sitting adjacent to him always holding his hand and speaking to him, constantly urging him to hold on. Earl had arrived at the house only a few minutes after they did, allowing Ellie to quickly go to work on reviving her father. Tommy and Maria stood at the foot of the bed, eager to perform any task or instruction that Ellie demanded of them. The little girl insisted on her being the one to take care of Joel. She wouldn't let anyone else touch him, and required that she be the one to stitch him up. Maria and Tommy surprisingly agreed, they had no reason to doubt her ability.

"Tommy! Grab his hand again - this is gonna hurt," Ellie demanded.

Without saying a word Tommy walked to Joel's side of the bed and once again grasped his hand, readying himself for Joel's death grip.

"Maria - the alcohol," Ellie said.

Maria reached in the bag of medical supplies that sat atop the dresser and handed Ellie the rubbing alcohol.

"Okay - Joel... this is gonna sting... you're doing great just - just like you did before grab Tommy's hand okay?"

She loosened the blood soaked ripped flannel shirt that Tommy tied around Joel's leg. Another small spurt of blood shot from his wound as the pressure that was applied from the shirt relieved, causing Ellie to quickly pull the wound shut with her fingers.

"Fuck - Maria I need you - hold it shut, just like this."

Maria simply nodded and did exactly what Ellie said. She pressed her fingers around the gash in his leg and kept it closed, preventing any more blood loss. At this point, every drop counted. He was on the verge of certain death. Ellie dabbed a cloth with the rubbing alcohol then clenched her throat, knowing the pain she was about to cause him.

"Here we go," she said with a deep breath.

She pressed the cloth to his flesh, gently rubbing it up and down across his wound, allowing the alcohol to immediately go to work and clean out any bacteria that could cause an infection. Joel gritted his teeth and let out a shriek of pain as the liquid burned his raw flesh. Tommy felt his hand getting crushed, he thought Joel might break it, but he didn't dare pull it away.

"I know - I know... almost done - almost there - hang in there," Ellie softly spoke as she made one last go around with the cloth.

Earl and Houser stood against the wall, watching in horror, but also in amazement at the commanding and confident presence of this fourteen year girl. She was saving her father's life, again. She threw the cloth to the side and reached out her hand, pointing to the bag.

"Okay Maria - the penicillin and the syringe."

Maria quickly got up and executed Ellie's next set of demands. Ellie prepared the syringe and gently stuck it into the side of Joel's leg. He let out a couple of short, pain induced breaths as he felt the needle dig deep into his flesh.

"Shh - shh almost there... there we go," Ellie spoke.

She tossed the syringe aside then let loose a deep exhale as she prepared herself for the next part. The hardest part.

"Now the needle and thread - c'mon," she demanded, motioning her hand towards the bag.

Maria once again obliged.

As she tied the thread through the loophole of the needle, the sound of more footsteps coming up the stairs echoed throughout the house. Suddenly, Michelle appeared at the door, in shock at the spectacle that lay before her. She saw Joel lying on the bed, the sheets stained with his blood. Tommy stood by his side, tightly gripping his hand. And there was Ellie, calm as could be, quietly going about her work with laser like focus. Her hands no longer shook with nervousness and fear, instead she was one-hundred percent focused on the task at hand. She was determined to keep her father alive, to keep her _purpose_ alive.

"Oh my god." The words left Michelle's lips as she brought a hand to cover her mouth in shock.

Her voice, for just a second, pulled Ellie's attention away from Joel as she realized the woman she despised the most stood mere feet away from her father's helpless body. Michelle walked towards the bed and placed her hand on Joel's leg, trying to provide comfort of her own. Her action pulled the loudest, most protective sounding bark out of Ellie that either Tommy and Maria had ever heard.

"Back the fuck off! I said don't fucking touch him! No one touches him unless I say! You got it!?"

"Michelle - you - you should go," Maria said, as she tried to gently pull Michelle away and escort her outside.

"No! I'm not leaving! Christ - what the fuck Ellie - I'm just trying to hel - "

"I don't give a shit! My house - my rules," Ellie interrupted her before she could make her defense.

For the first time, Michelle really caught a glimpse of how important Joel was to Ellie, how attached she was to him. As much as she disliked Ellie, always feeling as if the girl kept her from him, Michelle saw how determined she was to keep him alive. Ellie was currently playing the role of guardian angel, and for that, she was appreciative.

"You can stay - but you don't touch him, or me, got it?"

Michelle nodded in obedience, taken aback by Ellie's austerity.

Ellie finished preparing the needle and thread, then gently stroked her hand down the side of Joel's face.

"We're almost there - stay with me just a little bit longer - we're almost done... Tommy you ready?" she said.

"Yes ma'am - gotta get this done, c'mon - move it girl," Tommy replied.

Ellie poked the needle through Joel's skin, beginning a long and painful process for him, and quite frankly, everyone else in the room. All of the bystanders, including Tommy, cringed with disgust as they watched Ellie go to work. Joel would flinch and grunt in pain as he could feel the needle go in and out of his skin. Just about as Ellie was halfway done, his breathing seemed to slow. He stopped reacting to the piercing touch of her needle and his mouth hung wide open. Ellie immediately noticed the sudden limpness in his body and right away thought something was wrong.

"Shit! Oh no! Tommy - Tommy how's he doing?"

Tommy glanced over to his brother, his eyes were closed and he was unresponsive. Tommy gently slapped him on the cheek a couple times, hoping to bring him back to reality.

"Joel - buddy - c'mon now. Joel! Stay with us... shit - I think he's... fuck - he's passed out - I reckon he's lost too much blood."

"Check his pulse!" Ellie shouted.

"Right - uhh... his heart's still beatin' - barely, but it's there."

Ellie heaved a sigh of relief then wiped the sweat from her brow. "Is he breathing?"

Tommy leaned his head down until it was merely inches from Joel's lips. He could barely feel his breath against his ear, then looked at Ellie and nodded.

"Oh thank god," she said in relief.

She went back to work with the needle and this time quickened her pace, knowing Joel was now passed out, unable to feel anything. She finished with the last stitch, snipped the thread with her switchblade then tied it closed. Right away, Maria handed her a bandage to place over the purplish, swollen, puffy area of skin that was now entangled together with the thread that held his flesh together.

Ellie, exhausted from the events of the past hour, finally relaxed, falling onto her back. She lay there for minutes, her diaphragm visibly expanding and contracting as she caught her breath. She was coming out of her trance that her brain, and heart, snapped her into in order to save Joel. She took a second to realize what she did, and remembered thinking when she sewed him up the first time, back in the fall, that she would never have to do it again. A few, silent minutes by as everyone brought themselves to their senses. Ellie slowly brought herself to a sitting position on the bed, next to Joel, and gently caressed his dirt and blood covered, callused hand. Her tiny fingers disappeared underneath it, engulfed by his. She closed her eyes and took one last deep breath, enjoying the touch of her hands against his.

Tommy and Maria stood in dead silence as they looked at each other in shock, their adrenaline levels finally coming back to normal. They just witnessed this little girl completely take control of the situation and save Joel's life. They were in awe, but also extremely thankful. Tommy looked to Ellie and struggled to find the words to say.

"Ellie I - I don't know what to say - thank you. You saved my brother's life."

She gripped Joel's hand tighter, then returned Tommy's gaze.

"He's not out of the woods yet - if he makes it through the night... we're good. But no... thank you. Seriously - he needed all of us. Thank you, both of you," she said, addressing both Maria and Tommy. Her breathing was finally back to normal, and it felt strange to be back in a semi-normal mental state. The entire previous hour felt like a surreal dream.

"Ellie can I... get you some food?" Michelle spoke up.

Ellie was slightly surprised to hear Michelle even address her, much less offer a kind gesture.

"No - not hungry," she succinctly responded.

Maria placed her hand on Ellie's back and softly spoke. "Why don't you clean yourself up and get something - anything to eat?"

Ellie snapped her head around, but quickly softened her tongue as she nearly barked out another protective statement in response.

"No - no I'm fine - I'm not leaving him. I'm not going anywhere until he wakes up. I don't want him waking up alone."

"Okay - okay that's alright," Maria looked back and motioned for Earl and Houser to take their leave.

She looked at Michelle, and pondered which words to use, hoping she would simply leave on her own. But she didn't. Luckily, Tommy rescued her from the awkward moment and stepped in.

"Michelle - c'mon let's get goin'. Time to go home - we should leave 'em be," he said as he went to escort her down the stairs.

Ellie, relieved to see Michelle make her exit, turned to Maria and asked for one last thing.

"Maria - can... can you and Tommy stay here tonight? Please? Just... I would feel better knowing you two were right downstairs - while I'm up here with him."

Maria was taken aback by Ellie's request. It was the first time she got the sense that Ellie was letting her and Tommy in, as family members. She felt as if Ellie finally trusted her, and she smiled knowing this little girl really was part of her family now.

"Absolutely - of course. We'll be downstairs until you say so."

"Thank you," Ellie said, her eyes beginning to well up once more.

"No problem. Good night. Keep him alive okay?"

"Nothing will take him away from me - I promise," Ellie confidently responded.

Maria smiled once more and shut the door behind her as she exited the room. Now, more than ever, she had every reason to believe her.

* * *

A couple of hours had gone by and Ellie had yet to fall asleep, however, it would be dawn in the not far future. After Maria made her way downstairs, Ellie immediately curled up next to Joel, pressing her little frame as close as she could against his side. She nuzzled into his shoulder and rested her hand on his chest as she patiently waited for him to awake. She was getting anxious, though, and thought that by now he would have woken up, but he hadn't. She could barely hear him breathing, and his heart struggled to put forth the next beat, constantly keeping her on edge. She feared the next one would be his last and that she would actually, horrifically, lose him. She closed her eyes and began to whisper to him.

"You can't leave me... you can't go. After everything we've been through - you can't go."

Small pools of tears began to form at the base of her eyes.

"Please - please - please," she said through her quiet weeping. "Please don't leave me."

"I... I don't know - " She stopped, then cleared her throat, struggling to say each word through her tears. "I don't know what I would do without you. The world would be so... so _fucking_ scary - I would be terrified and... alone without you. You can't go - not yet," she continued.

She wrapped her arm around his, then kissed him on the shoulder. The touch of the fabric of his t-shirt was coarse, and smelled of sweat and dirt. But it smelled of him, something she was always fond of. She let out a sob as she clutched his arm close to her.

"Remember when - we first met. How much we despised each other?" She let out a small, raspy laugh through her tears.

"Now look at me... I can't live with you."

She sniffled, then wiped her nose with her free hand.

"And... do you remember when I stole all that shit from Bill's and I - " She let out another laugh in combination with a weep. "I had that fucking magazine - oh and the music. It wasn't too bad actually - I remember kinda liking it."

She squeezed her eyes shut, letting out more tears. "Remember when I - I made you coffee? God - that shit was so... gross. I'll never get how you can drink that," she said through another muffled, raspy snicker.

She reached her sleeve up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Hey - did you know I used to be addicted to soap? But now I'm clean!" she said, reiterating one of her jokes she told him long ago back in Pittsburgh.

She hoped any words, anything that could spark a fond memory would bring him back to her, bring him back to the land of the living. None of it worked, his body simply lay there motionless, barely alive. She let out an intense sob at the realization that this could very well be the end, then gave it one last attempt.

"What about when..." A massive lump formed in her throat, causing her to struggle with each word that left her lips.

"When you found me - in that..." A shiver went down her spine as she shuddered. "In that burning restaurant. You found me and you - that was the first time you held me. I felt so safe I - I felt cared for, like I was actually fucking _important_. You held me so close... that was the first time you called me - " She let out another sob, knowing the two words she was about to say.

"Baby girl."

She couldn't help it, her lips trembled as she spoke the words with tears dripping from her chin onto the bed sheet.

"I remember most of all - you've never left me. You've never abandoned me. With you, I've never been alone. You've kept your promise - you have to keep it! Please don't leave me! Please! Please!" she began to loudly plead through her heart aching sobs.

Suddenly, she felt him gently stroke her forearm. Her eyes immediately widened and she lifted her head off of the mattress. She felt his hand slowly reach up and run his fingers through her hair, then gently rested it against the side of her head.

He let out a quiet moan of discomfort. "Hey... kiddo," he mumbled through a cough, his eyes remaining shut.

She immediately propped herself up on her elbow and couldn't help but smile. A massive grin stretched across her face as tears of joy poured from her tired, green little eyes.

"Oh Joel!"

She crawled on top of him, pulled her legs in as tight as she could and curled into a ball and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Oh my god - oh my god!" she said, pressing her lips into his hair as she expressed her joy.

She began to cry even harder, but not from pain, fear or sadness. It was pure happiness and joy. He finally awoke, he managed to barely pull himself away from the brink of death. He thought he was at the end of the road, the end of the line, but something kept pulling him back to life. Something urged him to keep fighting. His daughter, his little girl, his _purpose_ , needed him. He was not going to abandon her, no matter what. He was going to keep his promise.

She felt him reach his arms up and wrap around her, holding her in a tight embrace. She gave way to many airy laughs through her tears, relieved to finally see his eyes open and hear the sound of his voice. She kissed him on the forehead, then nuzzled into his chest as she pressed herself against him as close as she could.

"I thought you were gone - for a second I really thought I'd lost you... for good."

"Ain't no way I'm leavin' you - I promised, remember?" he softly and slowly said, pain still palpable in his voice.

"My baby girl."

Those three words sent a tickle through her heart. She yearned all night to hear him refer to her with her favorite term of endearment. She pressed the side of her head against his chest, listening to each beat of his heart. It was slow, but still faster than earlier and she thought she could even hear the blood pump through his veins, relishing that the gift of life still flowed through him. She smiled once more as a few tears dripped from her cheeks onto his shirt. She felt his grasp around her tighten, and he gently held the back of her head with his hand, just below her pony tail, then tilted his head up to kiss her on the hair.

The smell of her hair triggered a multitude of fond memories he had from spending time with this little sprite. He couldn't help but smile, even as a few tears of his own ran down his cheeks into his beard.

"I reckon it's ahh... your - your turn to sing this time," he stuttered, with a barely audible snicker in his voice.

She sniffled, then laughed once more through her tears of joy. "You wish."

The two of them lay there, finally in peace after a physically and emotionally exhausting night. Ellie refused to move, and stayed plastered to him as she snuggled herself as close to him as she could get, any inch of separation was too much. He never let go of her, keeping her wrapped in his arms for the rest of the night as they rested. in this moment, they had everything they needed in the world, each other, father and daughter. It was the only thing that mattered. It was their _purpose_ , and their _purpose_ was now, finally, intertwined with one another. The two of them closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep, knowing the most important thing in the universe, to both of them, lay within their embrace.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I'm kind of irritated with myself. I proof read the last chapter so, many, times, yet STILL I missed some typos! Grrr... I'm sorry... sometimes I swear they are just invisible to me and then only noticeable once I publish, blah! Oh well, I'm not perfect, but I try.**

 **I'm going to admit, for some reason I got really emotional while writing this chapter. I don't know if it was because of the wine or... what, but... wow.**

 **I told myself I would never do this... but I think I'm going to do it here. If you really want to go all in on maximum feels, play _Power of Two by Indigo Girls_ while reading this, at least up until the line break. I know it's not game soundtrack, and some people may find lyrics distracting, but just... yeah... give it a shot.**

 **I know I said the last chapter was my favorite but umm... that's now changed. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one.**

* * *

Joel slowly peeled his eyelids open, witnessing the late morning sunlight bathe the room in its glow. He could hear the birds chirping outside and noticed the trees rustling in the light, summer breeze. He stretched his eyes further open then rapidly blinked, trying to wake himself up. His leg was throbbing, it stung worse than anything he had felt in a long time. It reminded him of when he awoke in that freezing cold basement, after Ellie gave him the penicillin, when he felt the burning pain from his puncture wound rattle his every nerve. He remembered, though, how hard he fought to find her whilst under the duress of his injury. At that time, the thought of her being in danger erased all regard for his own well being. He would carry the burden of a thousand ailments if it meant keeping her safe. His sweet, little, baby girl was the most important thing to him and it was clear that would never, ever, change.

The thought of her pulled his eyes down to her warming presence. And there she was, quietly, adorably snuggled next to him as she slept. Her arm remained stretched across his chest as her nose was nuzzled into the side of his neck. He could feel her small, light breaths against his skin and felt her tiny fingers from her other hand intertwined with his. He knew she never once left his side during the night, a night which nearly included a visit from death. It knocked at the door and nearly consumed his soul, thus ripping him away from her. He could only imagine what she must have been feeling and what was going through her mind while he lay face down in the dirt, barely clinging to life by the skin of his teeth. However, he knew she fought tooth and nail to keep death at bay, and so did he.

He reached his hand over and gently stroked her hair. He slowly turned his head, careful not to wake her, so he could see the sweetest thing in the universe, his cute, adorable, baby girl cuddled next to him. He felt his eyes burn as tears began to build and let out a sniffle, again realizing how fortunate he was to have this feeling again, to have _purpose_ again. Her auburn hair shined in the sunlight which illuminated the room and he felt her react to his touch. She let out a small, quiet peep as she gently rubbed her chin against his shoulder. Her mouth gave way to a slight grin as she wriggled her way even closer to him. She lifted her head and rested it on his chest, nuzzling into his shirt. Sensing her desire to be close to him, he wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes and gently stroked her hair, relishing that he still, after everything they had dealt with, lovingly held his daughter in his embrace. He kissed her on top of the head and smiled. He was content to lay there for as long as she desired, until she awoke on her own terms.

Suddenly, he heard the door open, and saw Maria quietly step inside. Joel instantly rose a finger to his lips, giving a hushing motion, imploring her not to wake Ellie. Maria stood in awe, amazed Joel was alive, breathing and conscious. She watched him gently stroke Ellie's hair as he held her close while she slept, nuzzled into him. The sight brought tears to her eyes and she raised a hand to her chest as a lump formed in her throat. She tried her hardest not to cry from the undeniable joy she felt seeing the two of them snuggled together, alive and well. She didn't say a word, and simply wiped the tears from her eyes then went back downstairs to tell Tommy the good news.

Tommy got up from the couch, noticing her watery, red eyes. He feared the worst, that his brother didn't make it through the night and perished. He brought a fist to his mouth, struggling not to cry. He felt Maria wrap her arms around him, embracing him as she whispered over his shoulder.

"He made it - they made it. He's - " She let out a wave of tears and a sniffle as she was overcome with emotion. "He's holding her right now - while she sleeps."

"Oh fuckin' Christ... thank god. Holy shit... I can't believe - " Tommy said, returning his wife's embrace.

Meanwhile, Joel continued to clutch his daughter close to him. He simply lay there with his eyes closed, calmly breathing and feeling Ellie's chest rise and fall with breaths of her own while gently petting her hair. After fighting to the center of hell, then through it, the countless life or death circumstances they faced, then this, he felt there wasn't a single thing the two of them couldn't overcome. It confirmed to him that the only thing which mattered in the entire world was his daughter. A romantic relationship, with anyone, much to the chagrin of Michelle, was simply not an option. He was past that part of his life. Not an ounce of his soul cared for it one bit, the only thing that mattered was Ellie and absolutely nothing more.

He felt her head shift and tighten her grip around his hand. She slowly opened her eyes, and smiled at the realization that she was in her favorite place, the safest place, tightly snuggled in her father's arms. She strained her neck to look up at him, knowing he was awake. She could feel his chest expand and contract with each breath. The motion reassuring her that he made it, that he was still alive, that he was still with her and that she wasn't alone. She couldn't prevent the tears from quickly piling up in her eyes, overcome with emotion from the moment.

She lifted herself up to look him in the eyes. His paternal gaze was the final straw, causing the pools in her eyes to stream down her cheeks.

"I can't believe it - it wasn't just a dream... you did wake up - you're really still here," she said, while letting out a sob. The emotion that raged through her was too strong, she couldn't help but cry.

He reached his hand up to her cheek, wiped away a tear then smiled.

"Always baby girl."

Those words melted her entire body into a puddle. She dove back into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as her tears stained his shirt. After the intensity of the previous night, she was finally letting herself go and giving into the powerful emotions that flowed through her, expressing how distraught she really was while fighting to save his life. Even though she had a slight smile, she couldn't help but let out another intense sob as her little frame quivered. She immediately felt his arms wrap around her once more and butterflies filled her stomach, easing the tension that gripped her muscles.

"Shhh - shhh - it's okay. It's okay now baby girl - I'm still here. I'm okay - you're okay - we're okay. Shhh - I ain't goin' anywhere," he soothed while rubbing her back.

"I'm gonna - " She sniffled. "I'm gonna have nightmares forever."

"Ohh honey - I'll be here to scare 'em away - always, I promise," he softly said, then kissed her on the forehead.

She couldn't help but laugh with relief through her tears. This moment, coupled with his soothing, loving presence, only confirmed her earlier enlightening realization. Her sense of purpose had been renewed. It was him, and she cherished her father's life with every fiber in her being. She would do anything to keep him alive. She would kill for him, without question, just as he did for her.

"Oh my god - I can't believe - ... I thought you left me - forever," she muttered through a muffled laugh and her weeping.

"Shhh baby - I know - I know. It's all okay - we're okay now - shhh - I'm never leavin' you," he whispered, pulling the rebellious lock of hair that dangled over her eye behind her ear with his finger.

A smile stretched across her face as more tears dripped from her upper lip. His promise pulling another teary eyed giggle from her. She lifted her head to speak to him. No words left her mouth, she simply gazed into his loving eyes as she continued to cry. He caressed both sides of her head with his hands then felt a tear roll down his cheek. Seeing his little girl so emotional cut him to the core, there was no way he was going to hold back tears of his own.

"See? Look - look - it's me - I'm here baby girl - I'm really here," he said with a teary laugh of his own.

"I - I know it's just - oh my god..." she said with a trembling stutter and a nod.

"Shh - it's alright my baby girl - it's alright," he soothed, wiping another tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"Do ya think you could - I dunno... try dodging next time?" she jokingly asked with an airy laugh through her tears and a sniffle.

It pulled a small, muffled snicker from Joel.

"I ain't that quick kiddo - but I'll sure as hell try."

She dove her face back into his chest then felt him caress the back of her head, just below her pony tail. His hand big enough to completely wrap around her small, skinny neck.

"Please don't scare me like that again - please," she said, tightening the grasp of her arms around him.

Joel sniffled then wiped a tear from his eye. "I won't honey - promise."

They both took a deep breath then lay in each other's embrace for a few silent minutes, waiting for their minds to come down from the emotional roller coaster that was this moment. They had torn open their respective chests, exposing their hearts. Joel let every soothing term of endearment roll off his tongue without a second thought. He held her like she really was his daughter, like she really was the only thing that mattered. She became completely vulnerable, letting herself fully express her desire for his fatherly presence while she gripped him tight, pressing herself against him. There was only one thing that remained, that they had yet to do, and that was say the three words they both yearned to hear. Neither he nor she said them, but in this moment, the two of them concurrently understood that the concept they would convey was undeniably true. It was only a matter of time before those three magical words finally broke free from their restrictive lips.

"How's your leg?" Ellie asked with concern, breaking the silence.

"Hurts like hell - I reckon it'll be alright though," he replied.

"I stitched you up... had to use a lot of thread," she said, wiping the last bit of tears from her eyes. "We gotta change your bandage later - okay?"

"Yes ma'am - and I'm sure ya did one hell of a job - by the way... nice shootin' back there. That's my girl," he said, patting her on the head as he let out a pained cough.

She smiled and let out one last sniffle. "I was taught well."

Their eyes met once more, and right then they were both reminded of how important they were to each other, how much they still needed one another. Despite all of the external forces which tried to pull them apart, the one pillar of truth that was established long ago still remained. He needed her, and she needed him. Joel returned her smile with his, then pulled her close so he could give her one last kiss on the forehead.

"Ya hungry?" he asked. "I know I sure am - the hell is Maria doin' here by the way?"

"Oh - I asked her and Tommy to stay here for the night... stay downstairs while I stayed up here with you."

He knew she never left his side. He was right, she didn't once.

"And yes - I'm fucking starving - can you walk though?"

"Uhh... I reckon that depends on your definition of walk," he said with a snicker.

"Pssht - whatever, you know what I mean," she responded.

"I'll be alright - I can hobble my ass down there."

She peeled herself off of him and hopped off the bed. She watched him painfully, and slowly, pull himself off the sheets and rise to his feet. She could tell it was hard for him, but he was stubborn and he wasn't going to give into the pain. He let out a groan and grimaced, clearly in an excessive amount of discomfort from his wound.

"Ahhh shit - my goddamn jeans - ruined to hell. Do ya see this?"

"Yeah - I see it... we had to - well... you know."

"Yeah - I know. Grab me a fresh pair will ya?" he asked. "Can't sit at the table lookin' like this," he said with a snicker.

Ellie was amazed, but relieved, to find he was trying to remain positive and still display his sense of humor, no matter how small.

"Sure thing," she responded, then opened his dresser to find a clean pair of jeans.

"Guess I should sit back down to do this... alright - here we go," he said through a groan as he sat himself down on the edge of the bed.

Ellie watched him awkwardly struggle with what would normally be a trivial task. She felt bad for him, but also still felt the immense amount of joy and relief from seeing him alive and moving.

"C'mon - let's get somethin' to eat," he said motioning his hand, beckoning her over.

She obliged and ran to his side. They slowly made their way downstairs, together. Nothing was going to pull them apart, absolutely nothing, not even death itself.

* * *

Tommy and Maria could hear the slow, shuffling footsteps of Joel and Ellie coming down the stairs. They looked at each other, excited to see the two of them together and alive for the first time this morning. They rounded the corner of the stairwell, and there they were. Ellie was tucked under Joel's arm as she had both of hers tightly wrapped around him.

"Holy shit - Joel... how the hell are you walkin'? Shouldn't you be takin' it easy?" Tommy asked in amazement.

"Nah - I'll be alright. Just hurts a bit that's all - I'll be fine. This little bugger here stitched me up good," he said with a smile while messing with Ellie's hair.

"She sure did," Maria said. "We watched her do the whole thing - we were impressed - must say."

Ellie unleashed a prideful smile, knowing she was ultimately responsible for keeping her father alive.

"Tssht - stubborn old bastard," Tommy said, as he embraced his brother with a hug. "Goddamn - for awhile we weren't sure you were gonna make it."

"Tommy!" Maria shouted, appalled at his comment.

Joel laughed. "No - no it's alright. I reckon I would'a thought the same to be honest."

"Well - we can all thank Ellie. She fought like hell to keep you alive - she saved your life," Maria said.

Joel looked down at his little girl, meeting her eyes with his and smiled.

"Ain't the first time - I'll tell ya that right now," he said, feeling her grasp around his waist tighten.

"Pfft - okay - okay... I wouldn't be here in the first place if it weren't for him though," Ellie said, for once trying to show a hint of modesty.

"I reckon you two are probably hungry yeah? We brought over a ton of stuff to cook up if you're interested," Tommy offered.

"Holy shit - fuck yeah - that sounds amazing," Ellie immediately responded.

"Well - I guess that settles it - you heard her - let's get cookin'," Joel said.

"I'll get it started - you three sit down and relax," Maria implored.

Tommy, Joel and Ellie took their respective places at the table and enjoyed each other's company while smelling the wonderful aromas that emanated from Maria's cooking. They joked about, keeping the mood light and told Ellie stories from before the outbreak. Finally, though, Joel inquired about the events from the previous evening.

"So uhh... I take it we finished off the last of 'em last night yeah? We're all good?" Joel asked.

"Yep - Ellie took out the last one of those bastards... then - well... you know what happened," Tommy answered.

"Tssht - yeah - Christ," Joel said, running a hand through his hair. He slowly stretched out his injured leg, trying to get comfortable and let out a groan as he relieved the tightness in his injured muscles.

"We'll get to work on the wall - fix it up quick, I swear," he continued.

"No - no... Joel don't worry 'bout it. I'll deal with it - you two just take it easy for awhile will ya?"

"Alright - if ya insist."

"Just... do me a favor?" Tommy asked.

"Name it."

"Try dodgin' next time? Christ..." he said with a laugh.

"See!? Right!? That's what I said!" Ellie immediately blurted out with a playful laugh of her own.

"Alright - alright... easy now. I'll do my best - Jesus," Joel said in response. "Damn Maria - smells good over there."

Maria simply turned her head and smiled. She was enjoying being in this moment with her family.

"Joel - Michelle came by earlier this mornin' to see how you were doin'. I didn't say much - told her to come back later if she wanted to talk."

Hearing Tommy speak Michelle's name caused Ellie to scoot her chair to Joel's side of the table and sit right up against him. Despite the woman's display of friendliness and caring the night before, Ellie still despised her. She didn't want her near Joel while he was in a wounded state. She simply didn't trust her.

"Okay - well I appreciate the thought - I'm sure I'll see her later."

"Yep - and oh - by the way Ellie.. some kid named uhh... shit - Maria what was that boy's name again?"

"Sean."

"Right - Sean. He also dropped by - said he was lookin' for ya. I told him you were uhh... unavailable. He seemed to get kinda pissy - told him to fuckin' deal with it."

"Tommy! C'mon - he's just a kid," Maria quickly reacted to her husbands words.

"Tssht - well he's a pushy one - Christ," he said.

Joel snickered in agreement with Tommy. "I reckon you got that right - that boy is... yeah."

"Yeah whatever - he'll fucking live, my god..." Ellie stammered, annoyed at the mere thought that anyone even felt a sense of inconvenience because she was busy catering to her father's need to merely stay alive.

"Ellie - c'mon honey - we talked about this, you were doin' so well. No cussin' at the table," Joel said with a playful smile, pinching her on the shoulder.

"Really? Even after saving your life? Again!? Can't we make just today not count? I can't help it! Pllleeaasssee?" she asked, batting her eyes.

"Oh - alright - fine. Can't say no to you," he reluctantly agreed.

"Fuck yes! I win!" she exclaimed, excited to abuse her verbal privileges for the day.

Joel sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Oh dear - whatever in the hell am I gonna do with you?" he asked with a smirk.

Despite the lightness of the current moment, the family bonding that was occurring between the four them and the happiness they were all simultaneously feeling, Ellie felt a nervous tingle. Without delay, the words she wanted to use to voice her reply immediately entered her mind. She turned her head and looked at Joel with a small smile. He could tell she desperately wanted to say something in response to his rhetorical question, but had no idea what. Their eyes met and hers glistened with the slightest of tears. She fought to keep her incoming statement buried behind her tongue, knowing its implication. She couldn't do it. Her heart forcefully willed the words through her lips. It was unavoidable, she couldn't stop it. Her cheeks blushed and she sheepishly wrapped one hand around her opposite elbow. She opened her mouth, letting the words free from the confines of her sub-conscious and succinctly gave her response.

"Love me."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I hope people liked the last chapter. It was pretty emotional, again like I said, even for me when it came to writing it. In terms of umm... certain plot points... patience my friends! Patience! I love the enthusiasm! But I swear I have it all planned out, I swear! ;)**

 **Thank you everyone so much again for reading and to those who leave reviews, I very much appreciate it. Here's Ten.**

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Ellie held her gaze on her father as the room went silent. The only sound echoing throughout the house was the sizzling skillet atop the stove. Joel was taken aback by her forwardness. His only reasoning for it was that the intense, emotional past twenty four hours must have swayed her to finally say what she had been feeling deep down for so long. He'd be lying, though, if he said her response didn't send a tickle of joy through his heart. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, that she really was his daughter. But he merely sat still, silent, like a deer in the headlights, unable to speak. He hadn't said that word, love, in any context to anyone, since his biological daughter, Sarah, perished in his arms on that fateful first night of the outbreak. The amount of emotion that was raging through him because of the night before, struggling to cling to life, and his heartwarming moment with Ellie earlier in the morning had him discombobulated. This moment only added another drop to the pool of chaos that were his feelings. Tommy quickly glanced over to Maria in reaction to Ellie's pointed words.

Finally, something broke the awkward silence. There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Tommy quickly said as he rose from his chair, eager to escape the awkwardness.

"Oh - thanks Tommy. Hey! Food's up!" Maria said, trying to pull all four of them out of the tense moment.

It would have been one thing if Joel responded, even sarcastically or jokingly to Ellie's statement, but he didn't. Instead, he froze, unable to speak, making the tension in the room unbearable.

Tommy opened the door to see Michelle standing there.

"Hey again Michelle you're just in - "

"Oh my god! He's awake! He made it!" Michelle exclaimed, interrupting him as she leaned her head through the doorway to see Joel and Ellie sitting at the table.

Michelle's arrival immediately shattered the tension in the air for Maria and Tommy, but only further strained the moment for Joel and Ellie. Ellie's face fell to a slight frown as a look of disappointment and dejection washed over her. She dropped her head and stared at the table, feeling embarrassed and even a little hurt. She was hoping for something, anything out of Joel that would let her know that further opening up would lead to more tender moments between father and daughter. Instead, she got the opposite, and wished she could have kept the words buried deep inside. She blamed Michelle for ruining this moment, and for that, she hated her even more.

Joel looked over at his little girl. He watched her droop her head down and emptily gaze at the table cloth. He felt terrible and wanted to pull her close, wrapping his arms around her for a hug. He wanted to say something in response, something to reassure her that opening herself up in that manner was okay and even welcomed. His daughter saved his life, again, for the umpteenth time and he couldn't even muster a few caring words as a reply to her cry for familial love. This whole time, he knew she wanted to be cared for, nurtured and loved, for the first time in her entire life, as any child should be by its parent. He knew, all along, that was all she wanted. He felt awful, and could sense the disappointment exuding from her as she hung her head. His brain quickly tried to scramble words together, but it was too late now. Saying anything would only make it more awkward and possibly worse. He reached out his finger and lifted her chin, pulling her head up so she was looking at him. He could see her green, soul piercing eyes begin to water.

 _Oh - my sweet little girl,_ he thought to himself.

His mouth gave way to a caring, paternal smile and he cupped the palm of his hand over her cheek. He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the forehead then affectionately ran his thumb over the scar above her eye. Her frown faded, and even a slight smile appeared across her lips. His actions nearly expressed exactly what she wanted, but she yearned for more. She wanted to finally hear him say it. But for now, his lack of words and choice of action would suffice.

"Hi Michelle!" Maria yelled from the kitchen.

"Hey! Wow it smells good in here - are you guys about to eat?"

"We are - actually, you wanna join us?" Tommy asked. "Wait - hang on... this ain't my place - Joel, you want Michelle to join us?"

Ellie prayed he would say no, but for some reason knew he wouldn't. Joel glanced back at Ellie, as if looking for approval, something that Michelle immediately noticed. Ellie didn't respond and pretended to fiddle with her fingers, trying to avoid taking part in any decision that involved that woman she hated so much.

"Uhh - yeah sure that's fine - come on in Michelle," Joel finally said.

Ellie's stomach twisted into a knot.

"Here - go ahead - take a seat at the table. Maria just finished cookin' - you're right on time."

"Great - thank you," she responded, sitting herself down at the table.

She made eye contact with Joel, but still ignored Ellie's presence.

"Hey there tough guy - glad you're okay. How do ya feel?"

"Uhh... well - like crap to be honest - hurt like hell. But I'll be fine - 'sides, I've got all my favorite people in the room with me, hard to beat that."

Ellie hoped he only meant herself, Tommy and Maria, not Michelle. But within seconds, she dismissed her feeling of hope and replaced it with self-assured knowledge. Somehow, she knew it was the case.

"I can't even imagine - I don't even know what to say other than... I'm really, really glad you're okay," Michelle responded.

She reached out her hand and gently caressed Joel's as she looked into his eyes. Ellie's tongue nearly shot from her lips like a lizard snatching a gnat out of the air. She wanted to let loose another protective bark, commanding the woman to keep her hands to herself. Instead, her blood boiled with anger as she silently watched Michelle try to have a semi-romantic moment with her father.

Joel felt Michelle's touch linger for just a second too long, making him uncomfortable, causing him to slither his hand away then run it through his hair.

"Well - I reckon you can thank this little bugger here for keepin' me alive," he said with a smile, as he wrapped his arm around Ellie's shoulder, pulling her close to him.

Butterflies fluttered through Ellie's stomach as she felt herself get pulled close, knowing Michelle sat further away on the other side of the table. This was exactly how she wanted things to remain, Michelle kept at a distance while she was tenderly clutched by her father. While safely wrapped in the confines of his arm, part of her wanted to let out a protective growl directed at Michelle, like a guard dog, letting the woman know she wasn't falling for her conniving tricks.

"So I heard," Michelle succinctly stated while readjusting her hair.

She didn't even give Ellie the respect of granting her eye contact, or a simple glance and a nod that her heroics were much appreciated. Her reaction slightly confused Joel, he didn't know what to make of this woman. All he knew was that she remained persistent when it came to chasing after his heart, something he just simply didn't care for.

"Okay - here we are," Maria said, yet again breaking the awkward tension at the table. She had an uncanny ability for doing so, something both Joel and Ellie silently appreciated. "Eat up! Go on - go on. Don't wait for me - dig in."

The four of them obeyed, and immediately started eating. Joel took delight in his first bite, appreciating the fact that he really was tasting food. He knew that if any moment from last night fell on the other side of the fine line that was life or death, he wouldn't be sitting at the table enjoying a late breakfast with his family.

"Ohh - hot - hot," Tommy said with a mouthful, rolling the contents back and forth across his tongue, trying not to burn himself.

"Yeah be careful - don't burn yourself," Maria said.

Ellie was quiet as a mouse and stared into her food as she slowly took each bite. She couldn't stand Michelle, her presence peeled away at her soul like a cheese grater. The more and more she was around this woman, the more and more she worried her earlier suspicions were indeed true. Michelle was responsible for her fall from the ladder, she just knew it. She had a radar of military caliber when it came to deciphering people's true intentions, and she wasn't buying into what Michelle was selling, even if everyone else gobbled it up.

"So - what you been up to this mornin'?" Tommy asked.

Joel disengaged himself from the conversation, noticing Ellie had done the same. Her demeanor worried him. He placed a hand on her arm and leaned in close to quietly ask if she was okay. "Hey - everything alright kiddo?"

Ellie looked at him with a mouthful of food and nodded. He smiled then patted her on the shoulder.

"Oh you know - same old. Nothing fancy - just went for my usual morning walk. Read for a bit... took a shower and now I'm here," she responded with a smile.

While responding to Tommy, she noticed Joel lean over to Ellie and place a hand on her arm. She watched him whisper something and noticed the little girl nod in response. She was slightly annoyed that he was taking no interest in what she had to say. Even if it was something as simple and mundane as describing her morning routine. She took another bite then tried to rope his attention back to her.

"So - I heard about what happened last night. A big raid or something... sounds pretty scary. Tommy says you saw them coming, is that right Joel?"

Joel heard his name, thus pulling his attention to her as she sat across from him.

"Oh - uhh - yeah, yeah we did. Ellie and I called it in, tried to let Tommy know we were basically well... under attack. No other way to put it."

"How many were there?"

"I ain't too sure to be honest - but it certainly felt like a lot. Not enough though - Ellie here cleaned 'em up real good once she got into a uhh... good vantage point."

"Oh - that's great - very good," Michelle said, again showing zero interest in anything related to Ellie. She didn't care for the little girl one bit and her body language showed the slightest bit of visible agitation each time Joel mentioned Ellie's name.

"Alright - that's enough... no more talkin' 'bout that right now. We're all here - together and alive. Let's move on... I had my boys clean everything up no need to dwell on that," Tommy said, not wanting to discuss the gruesome and horrific experience they all endured the night before.

"Yessir," Joel responded.

Suddenly, Joel noticed Ellie in the corner of his eye get up from her chair after only eating a few bites. He reached out and grabbed her small hand.

"Ellie - honey - you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Mmhmm - I just started not feeling too well - think I'm gonna go lie down."

"Alright then."

"I'm sorry Ellie - would you like to bring a glass of water up with you or something?" Maria asked with care.

"No - no it's okay, thank you though. The food was great I'm just - "

"I know - you're not feeling well it's fine. Go lie down, it's okay," Mara continued.

As Ellie rounded the corner and made her way up the stairs, she heard Michelle whisper.

"Is she okay?"

She cringed at hearing Michelle once again feign a sense of worry, then heard Joel immediately respond and was glad of his choice of words.

"Yeah - she's just exhausted. Past twenty four hours have been uhh... pretty rough. Reckon she just needs some sleep."

"Ah - okay," Michelle said.

Joel went back to eating and tried to engage himself with Maria, Michelle and Tommy. But he constantly found himself worrying about Ellie. He knew something was off and he still felt terrible from earlier. He wondered, for just a second, if she actually was not feeling well, or simply wanted to get away from the group, specifically Michelle. He always sensed her mood shift each time Michelle entered the room or tried to join whatever it was they were doing. He quickly finished eating what remained on his plate, set his fork down then rubbed his stomach.

"Ahhh man - thanks Maria. That was damn good."

"Of course - glad you enjoyed it."

Michelle looked at him and smiled. He smiled back, then slowly got up to excuse himself from the table. As much as he appreciated the presence of his brother and sister-in-law, he honestly wished he could just spend the rest of the day with Ellie, his daughter. The girl saved his life once again, and was undoubtedly traumatized even more than she already was, something he found hard to believe was possible, but knew it was true nonetheless. He knew she needed him now, just as he desperately needed her the night before.

"I'm'a go check on Ellie. Make sure she's okay. Ya'll are welcome to stay for as long as ya like - don't let my disappearance scare ya off."

"Well we got some stuff to do in a bit - we'll be outta here probably before you two come back downstairs. We'll see ya later alright?" Tommy said.

"You got it. Thanks again for the food Maria, was great."

Before he rounded the corner of the stairwell, Maria quickly got up and placed a hand on his shoulder. Tommy and Michelle looked up and noticed the odd interaction between her and Joel, staring in confusion.

"Okay - okay... go on - keep eating, keep talking among you two for a while - give Joel and I a sec'," Maria said, waving her hand at the two of them.

Michelle shrugged then looked back at Tommy and sparked up the conversation between them again. Maria pulled Joel aside.

"Are you sure Ellie is okay?"

"Yeah - she'll be alright - I can only imagine - "

"Wait - did you tell her yet?"

"Tell her what?"

"Joel... you know what. Have you _told_ her yet?"

Joel sighed then scratched his beard as he realized the only barricade in their relationship, his horrid lie, still remained. He had yet to tell Ellie the truth, but he knew he had to come clean eventually.

"No - no... not yet."

"Joel - "

"I'm gonna do it! I swear just - it's..." He sighed again. "It's a really delicate situation - I've gotta find the right moment. But I will... I swear it."

"Alright - just... be smart about it - okay? Try and put yourself in her shoes."

"I'll do my best, promise."

"Okay - well, we are so relieved that you are okay - I mean... there are no words to describe how happy we are. Go to her, she needs you right now... if you saw how she reacted out there... wow. It - it was hard to watch Joel - she looked so scared, so terrified... she's gonna have nightmares forever," Maria said softly, gently placing her hand on his arm.

He flinched in reaction. The thought of him being the reason his little girl would have more horrific nightmares ached his heart. He wished he could simply pull her bad dreams straight from her mind and place them in his, taking the brunt of their burden. He would if he could, he knew so, Ellie knew so.

"I know - that's where I'm goin'. I promised her she'd never be alone - I ain't ever breakin' that promise. "

"'Kay - we'll see you later," Maria smiled then went back to the table.

Joel hobbled his way upstairs, still in excruciating pain from the stitched wound in his leg. Each step took double the effort than normal.

Michelle sighed and set her fork down, annoyed at the fact that Joel scurried away to tend to Ellie. The little girl was grating on her, and she was disliking her more and more as each day passed.

"Well - guess I'll take off too. Thanks for the meal, appreciate it. I'll see you two soon yeah?" she said.

"Yep - sure ya will. Take care," Tommy responded.

She let herself out and shut the door behind her.

Ellie, upstairs, could hear Michelle's footsteps against the porch as she left, causing the tension in her muscles to relax. She laid on her side, faced the window and felt the warm, summer breeze against her face. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the sound of the wind in the trees. It was one of her favorite sounds. It was soothing, and she occasionally thought it was Riley, Tess or even Sam attempting to speak to her from beyond the grave. The thought of Riley brought on the usual pang of guilt. Her mission, her quest, was supposed to extinguish this virus that nearly destroyed mankind. She felt like Riley's death was now in vain, serving no purpose than to simply join the hundreds of thousands of corpses that fell victim to the virus or to the cruel world it created. Inevitably, the thought of Joel's lie followed her previous train of thought. However, it didn't bring the same amount of anger, rage and hate that it used to. For the most part, she had accepted it, and at this point only hoped he would come clean someday. After all, her sense of purpose was renewed during the events of the past twenty four hours, nearly losing him made her realize how much she still needed him. It reminded her that without him, her worst fear would come true, that she would be utterly, hopelessly, alone. And most of all, it made her realize, finally, how much she truly loved him. Whether they verbally communicated it to each other or not, she knew he was her father, and she was his daughter. Moreover, she loved him, and she knew he loved her. She snickered to herself, knowing that what started out as dismissive uncaring, perhaps even dislike, managed to evolve into tolerance, trust, likeness, dependence, attachment, and then, eventually, to the most powerful feeling of all, love.

Suddenly, she heard the shuffling footsteps of Joel echo through the room. The sound pulled her mind back into the present and despite being reminded of his lie, she managed to smile knowing he followed her upstairs not long after she excused herself. She closed here eyes once more and pretended to be asleep.

Joel saw his daughter lying on her side and noticed her chest slowly move up and down with each breath. Her hair was getting long, her pony tail now drooped all the way onto the pillow case and then some.

"Ellie?" He called her name. She didn't respond. "Man - she really is tired - damn," he whispered to himself.

He quietly approached her and looked down to see her little hands resting inches from her mouth as she napped, or so he thought. There was just enough space between her and the edge of the bed for him to sit down, and just after lowering himself onto it, she pounced up and let out a growl.

"Aaaarrrrrrr!" She grabbed his hand then playfully bit into it.

Joel's entire body twitched in reaction. He laughed at her well timed practical joke then lightly shook his hand, feeling the touch of her teeth that remained latched on. Despite the levity of her playfulness, it was a dangerous game she instigated. If at all, for whatever reason, her teeth somehow punctured the skin, that was it, it was over. He would get infected. Regardless, neither of them seemed to worry at all, he simply adored her childlike behavior and she relished each moment where she got to behave as such.

"Oh - really now, so my little Ellie's turned huh?"

"Mmmhmm!" she muttered, still biting his hand.

She loosened her grip, then spoke with a smile. "Now you will too! Ready to join us? It's a hard life - but we manage. Free food everywhere if you can find it. And you get to make these really, really awesome noises... I mean - c'mon who doesn't wanna do that?"

Joel's face went from happy to despair in seconds. He brought his hand up to closely inspect it.

"Oh shit - no... Ellie I - oh no..."

Ellie's heart stopped. Her smile immediately dissipated and her stomach twisted and turned. Right away she panicked at the thought that she bit too hard, that she punctured the skin, that he was now infected. That was it, it was over, just like that.

"What! No! No - no! Lemme see - c'mere!" she stammered, scooting herself closer to him.

Once she was mere inches from him, she grabbed his hand and frantically searched for the wound. Suddenly, a confused look engulfed her face. There was nothing, no wound at all, just the little bite marks from her teeth.

"Hey what the fuck - wait a min - "

"Raaawwwwwrrrr!" Joel roared as he wrapped his arms around her. He dove his face into the side of her neck, just below her cheekbones and pretended to gnash his teeth.

"Nom - nom - nom!" he exclaimed, while pulling her wriggling, little self closer to him.

Ellie let out a squeal. "Ahhhhh! No! No! That tickles! Oh my god - hahahaha - stop! Stop!" she pleaded for him to stop, but her uncontrollable laughter said otherwise.

"Two people can play this game kiddo. Hey - you said I turned. I reckon you're right - not a bad business to be in - free food everywhere! Nom - nom - nom," he continued.

"Okay! I yield! I give in! Stop - hahahaha - ahhhh stop!" she playfully shouted with a smile.

He obliged, kissed her on top of the head then dropped her back down on the bed.

"You started it," he said with a wink.

"Tssht - don't do that! You scared me!" she said, throwing a pillow at him.

"Ack - hey!" he blurted out, catching the oncoming pillow.

"You had me thinking I actually - you know..."

"What - I can't have a little fun at your expense?"

She squinted her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "Mmmm - fine whatever."

He smiled then pinched her nose. "Ya did surprise me though - think I even jumped a little."

"Hah! I knew it!" she proudly exclaimed.

They both let out deep breaths as Joel gently rubbed her shoulder.

"How you doin' kiddo - you sure you're okay?" he paternally asked.

She brought her hand up to scratch an itch on her nose, left over from his touch.

"Yeah - I'm fine - just tired."

"Ellie... it's only me now. And you say I ain't a good liar - c'mon... tell me what's up."

She sighed, then rubbed her eyes. "Uggghh - fine... it's just..." She paused.

"Just what?" He knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to talk about the potential tender moment from downstairs. He figured she simply didn't know how to express her thoughts, or was hesitant to bring it up after feeling so dejected from before.

"It's... Michelle."

His eyes widened in surprise. He was wrong, or, at the very least thought she chose not to bring it up even though she wanted to.

"There's something about her - I just... I don't like. I don't trust her... and I can't explain why - so this sounds so stupid but... I have an instinct for these things. I just don't like her."

Joel sighed. "Look - I trust you, I really do, an' if that's what you say - then I'll follow it. I ain't got a reason to doubt ya."

His truthful and open response evoked a smile from her.

"I told ya - I'm not even... thinkin' 'bout her in that way. Really - I ain't. And again, even if I was... nothin' is pullin' me away from you - you're all that matters," he said as he rubbed her back.

"I know - but... it's not even that - I'm passed that - I believe you, I really do. It's more - aaagghhhh... god."

She was about to blurt out that Michelle was responsible for her fall from the ladder. But she restrained herself, not wanting anything to happen to Joel as a consequence of his uncontrollable rage that would surely follow.

"What? C'mon - spit it out."

"She scares me. She has this... uneasy aura about her. She hardly even looks at me and when she does it's - it's never good. You know? I dunno... this sounds so stupid but... I get scared around her - sometimes I get the feeling... that... that she wants to hurt me."

"Ohhh honey - c'mere," Joel said, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay - no one is gonna hurt ya... and if they do..." He clenched his throat and gritted his teeth at the thought. "If they do - they're gonna have a whole 'nother world of problems on their hands."

"No one - an' I mean no one, is gonna hurt my baby girl, much less get away with it, ya hear me?"

She looked into his eyes and simply nodded in response. She believed him, but only partially, since she was convinced Michelle managed to hurt her already without his knowledge.

Suddenly, they heard the front door shut and the voices of Tommy and Maria as they walked away down the road. Ellie's eyes lit up and smiled, it was finally just the two of them. She was exhausted, and having to deal with other people, even if it were just Tommy and Maria was tiring. Her only desire at the moment was to spend the day with her father, no one else.

"Just us today kiddo - not workin', ain't got anything we gotta do - whadd'ya think?"

"Really!? The whole day?"

"Mmmhmm - what's my little munchkin wanna do today?" he asked, running his hand through her hair.

Ellie let out a laugh. "Munchkin!? That's a new one - wow."

Joel snickered. "Tssht - yeah I dunno... just sorta came to me."

"Well for starters - we gotta get you a fresh bandage."

"Ah - yeah... that... thing." He sighed, not wanting to deal with it.

"Oh relax... it's just me - I'll do it, it'll be quick - promise."

"Alright - but after that..."

"What?"

He grabbed the back of her head then leaned his nose into her hair.

"You need a shower. Whew! You kinda stink kiddo! After that you clean yourself up alright?" he said playfully.

Ellie let out a guffaw. "Whatever! It's just cause from... everything last night. Not surprised - since I'm covered in dried sweat, blood and dirt... I know, I know - I will."

"Ohh don't be like that - c'mon you know you'll enjoy it. You always love 'em."

She blushed and smiled. "I know - I really do."

"I'll take mine tomorrow," he said.

They only had enough hot water in a day for one shower. It was part of living in Jackson and this new world they tried to deem as normal. Luxuries that people took for granted before the outbreak were now cherished more than they ever had been. The two of them would alternate each day, though if Ellie at all hinted that she wanted to take one for the second day in a row he would always oblige. He wanted her to be comfortable and happy, and he knew she still enjoyed every moment under the warm water.

"Okay - go grab a bandage... get this damn thing over with."

* * *

Joel sat on the porch swing just outside the front door as he swayed to and fro, enjoying the serene peacefulness around him. He was nursing a small glass of whiskey while he waited for Ellie to finish up with her shower then join him outside. When she replaced his bandage, he noticed the impressive stitching job she did and complemented her on it once more. He figured she did a good job, but he didn't really know how well she executed the task until finally seeing the outcome for himself. Despite that, though, his wound was horrifying to look at. It had turned a slight purplish color and blotches of dried, coagulated blood caked the edges of it, causing the skin to stick to his bandage. He cringed and winced in pain as she peeled it off and watched her grimace as well.

As he sat on the swing, he realized how much his little girl did love him. He thought about all the things she had put herself through to guarantee his survival. The events from last night undoubtedly would scar her forever, but he was more than thankful for her efforts, and they only proved to him that she really, without a doubt, viewed him as her father and loved him as such. He started to ponder how he was going to come clean to her, finally tell her the truth about his lie. It scared him each time he thought about it, but he knew Maria was right, Ellie had to know eventually. It was her right to know.

Ellie was just finishing up in the shower, then felt the water turn from hot to lukewarm, a sign that all of the hot water would soon be completely gone. She quickly rinsed out her hair, turned off the water flow and grabbed her towel. She hated this part, the air around her always felt cooler than the comfort of the shower, and she dried off as quickly as possible. After vigorously rubbing the towel through her auburn hair, she wrapped it around herself to keep warm. She swiped the steam off of the mirror and observed her clean reflection. Her skin's natural complexion vibrantly glowed from the lone light that hung above her in the bathroom, each freckle clearly visible. She ran her finger across the scar above her eye and let out a sigh. It would always be a reminder of how she got it, and what type of world she was born and raised in. She felt clean and refreshed and felt as if the shower washed away the remnants of the horrors from the past twenty four hours. However, her eyes still housed an enormous amount of pain behind them. She could tell the dark circles that were forming beneath them were clear signs of stress and a lack of sleep. Now that she was cleansed from the shower, and it was only her and Joel for the duration of the day, she finally, completely relaxed. She felt lethargic and realized how tired she still was, and was thankful to not have any pertinent task that required their attention for the day.

She walked into Joel's room, which really had become their room since she had yet to use her own, to fetch a clean shirt. As time went on, her clothes simply started collecting into a pile near his. She sifted through it only to find a pair of jeans but no shirt. Unsure of what to do, she bit her lip and pondered her options.

"Hmm... he won't mind," she said to herself, reaching for one of Joel's flannels.

She pulled the shirt over her head, then laughed to herself after seeing how huge it was on her. The base of it ran all the way to the top of her knees and she knew she looked ridiculous. However, it was warm, soft, and it smelled of him, and a large smile stretched across her face. This moment, made her appreciate once more that he was still walking the earth with her. He came so close to leaving her for good the night before, thinking about it sent a shiver down her spine. Then, the awkward moment from earlier, downstairs, that had so much potential for tenderness, shot to the front of her mind. Her smile slightly waned as she thought about it, but quickly returned when she remembered his reaction. Despite his silence, his actions spoke for themselves. She knew, whether he would say it or not, that he loved her, she was sure of it.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you - thank you," she whispered. She wasn't sure if she was thanking Riley, or some higher power.

Joel heard the patter of Ellie's feet against the floor behind him.

"Hey, there she - what in the hell are you wearing?" he said with a laugh.

Ellie blushed and gave a sheepish smile. "Hey! C'mon - don't laugh! All of my shirts were dirty so... I grabbed one of yours. It's umm... a bit big though - hope that was okay," she said with a playful snicker of her own.

Joel laughed again. "Yeah no kiddin' - but of course it's fine - I don't give a damn. As long as you're comfortable," he said with a smile.

His constant concern for her well being sent a tickle through her nerves. He had to love her, she just knew it.

"C'mere you - sit down."

She wandered her way over to the swing, fully encased in his large flannel shirt. She sat down and took a deep breath as she rested her head against his shoulder. She brought her hand up to latch onto his arm while they swung back and forth.

"It's so peaceful - isn't it?" she asked, hearing the wind in the trees once more. It just the two of them, not another person was in sight as they took in the wonderful summer surroundings.

"Sure is - so... this... Jackson, this new life, it everything you were hopin' for?" he asked, turning his head to her, meeting her eyes with his.

"It's got its ups and downs - but mostly, sure."

He knew what was missing, what was keeping her from responding with an emphatic yes. He just couldn't bring himself to say it yet. He knew she was his daughter, she became that long ago. But like his lie, he wanted to be sure he tread carefully. He hadn't said those words to anyone, in over twenty years, and was worried what would happen if he said them before he came clean. He had to get past that roadblock first. He took a deep breath, and prepared himself for what he was about to share. His tongue procrastinated when it came to letting out the first word, and tried to force his statement back down his throat. He was going to come clean, he was finally going to do it.

Ellie felt her eyelids begin to droop, as their weight pulled themselves shut. She was warm, clean, relaxed and sat side by side with her father, her guardian, her protector, though she usurped that role during the previous night, and felt at peace. She let the weight of her head completely fall onto his shoulder and drifted off to sleep.

"Ellie... there's somethin' I gotta say - " he started, but looked down and saw her adorable little face snuggled up against him as her head rested on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, but she had a slight smile and was lightly snoring, finally getting the rest she needed.

 _Oh my baby girl,_ he thought to himself

Seeing her so happy and relaxed caused him to pull the words back from the tip of his tongue. He wasn't about to ruin this moment, and realized now wasn't the time. He simply enjoyed the touch of her clean, soft hair against his neck while she slept on his shoulder. He took another deep breath, taking in the fresh summer air. Dried leaves danced across the ground from a gust of wind, and he cherished this moment with his daughter.

He couldn't bare the thought of ruining it, and instead smiled, knowing there wasn't a single place he, or her, would rather be.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a couple of days since Ellie once again rescued her father from certain death. Twice a day she would replace his bandage and ensure the wound wasn't becoming infected. The disturbing amount of swelling and blood that initially appeared on the surface finally lessened, but the throbbing pain still remained. Every action, which under normal circumstances was easy, required extra care and effort from Joel. For the time being, Ellie took over the cooking duties for the two of them. Joel would sit at the kitchen table, guiding her through the steps of how to prepare each meal. On her first couple of attempts, she burnt the food so badly it was hardy recognizable, causing her to feel embarrassed and sad that she failed. But, Joel was always quick to pull a laugh out of her, thus making light of the situation, helping her feel less self-conscious about her missteps. Before long, she was quickly discovering her hidden culinary skills and even started to enjoy cooking. She took pride in knowing she could prepare something for herself, and for her father, and she loved seeing him smile each time after taking his first bite.

Tommy insisted the two of them lay low and take it easy. He assured them that their usual construction tasks would be addressed by someone else for the time being, and he merely wanted them to relax until Joel was healthy enough to move unimpeded. The two of them, whether they would admit or not, were actually enjoying the past couple of days. Despite still being in enormous discomfort, Joel reveled in spending quality time with his daughter, getting to know her even more than he already did. She felt exactly the same way. They would sit together for hours after eating and simply talk. She would ask him questions about the old world, listening to him tell stories that triggered fond memories. The entire situation felt surreal, as if they were temporarily living a different life. In reality, they were, once Joel was healthy enough, days like this would no longer be a frequent occurrence. There weren't any tasks that hung above their head throughout the day, and instead they collectively took part in whatever they desired. Sitting on the porch at the peak of the afternoon became a habit, and Ellie would always rest her head on his shoulder occasionally falling asleep. It was moments like those, that made both of them appreciate how precious life really was, and how happy they were to be experiencing a strong father and daughter relationship that was forged from hell fire. It was something Joel realized he dearly missed after losing Sarah, and something Ellie yearned for, but never had until now, throughout her childhood. Their bond became unbreakable and nobody outside the two of them could force them apart.

At night, she would beat him up the stairs to go to sleep, but she never once made her way towards her room. By the time he reached the top, he would already see her little head poking through the top of the covers which she wrapped herself in a cocoon with. He never said anything in protest, and knew that because of the intense, emotional trauma caused by his brush with death, she wouldn't leave his side during the night. He was her rock, her foundation, her protector and knew she felt safe snuggled in his presence. As always, he would lie down and within seconds feel her tiny frame wiggle and scoot her way up against him. Every night, a wave of happiness rushed through him when he saw the smile stretch across her face as she nuzzled into his arm, and each time, he kissed her goodnight then whispered his usual statement to act as a protective ward against her nightmares.

It was in the early hours of the evening, and they just finished eating. The sun was beginning to set but the temperature remained high. The long summer days meant daylight persisted deep into the evening, as opposed to disappearing altogether before five o' clock like in the winter.

"Man - good job kiddo. I reckon you're gettin' the hang of this cookin' thing - damn good," Joel said after setting his fork down on his empty plate.

Ellie beamed with pride and her mouth gave way to a large grin. "What can I say - I'm just awesome!" she exclaimed, crossing her arms and lifting her chin.

"Tssht - well you sure as hell weren't at first," Joel replied with a laugh and a wink.

"Yeah - yeah... whatever. Not my fault you didn't tell me how long to cook it for," she playfully responded.

"Mmmhmm - so, I thought we could - " Joel started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Ellie immediately hopped off her chair and opened the door, only to see Sean standing outside.

"Hey Ellie."

"Oh - hey Sean, what's up?"

He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms. "Came to see if you wanted to hang out - got somethin' I wanna show ya."

"Uhh okay... what?"

"You'll just have to come with me to find out," he said with a wink.

Joel wasn't particularly pleased with the boy's choice of words, but knew Ellie had been cooped up inside with him for the past few days and felt it would be good for her to leave for awhile. He still wasn't fond of Sean, but ever since his blunt talk with the boy over a month ago he noticed him addressing Ellie differently, which made him happy. At this point, he tolerated Sean and was merely okay with him hanging around his daughter, but nothing more.

Ellie turned to Joel, looking for approval, like any daughter normally would do with her father. She secretly hoped he would say no, but knew he wouldn't. The look she gave him created a very subtle, yet tender moment between the two. They each smiled, knowing that she, without a second thought, looked for his caring approval, like she really was his daughter and under his protection. However, she wanted to stay with him. She didn't like the thought of leaving him alone while he remained in his injured state, paranoid that something could happen.

"Go on - go ahead... you've been hidin' away in here with me for too long - it'll be good for ya, go on kiddo."

She sighed, reluctant to give in but agreed anyway. "Alright - lemme get my shoes."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Ellie asked, as she walked side by side with Sean.

"To my place - see, here we are."

She stopped and examined the house that stood before her. It was similar to her and Joel's, but was in far worse condition. There was a heavy amount of paint damage across the wooden siding, as massive chunks of it were peeling away. The roof was covered in twigs, leaves and dirt and looked like it hadn't been taken care of in years. The porch was littered with junk, ranging from trash to old pieces of metal that appeared to be parts of an engine at some point. There was a single light glowing from the inside, and Ellie started to get a nervous feeling, not pleased to know she would shortly be walking inside.

"Come on in," Sean said, holding the front door open as he waited for Ellie to follow him inside.

She took a deep breath and stepped through the doorway. The interior had a musty scent as the carpet was tattered and covered in stains. The exterior and interior of this home began to clearly demonstrate to Ellie that this living environment was chaotic and unhealthy at best. She knew Sean didn't like to talk about his father or his home life, and she was beginning to understand why.

"Where - where's your dad?" she asked.

"Not here - I dunno really, he left earlier this morning - haven't seen him since."

"What? He just leaves - without telling you? Doesn't even mention where he's going?"

"Yeah - I mean he always comes back... eventually. Sometimes the same day - other times it's a few days later. Tells me to never ask, so I don't."

"Wow... okay."

The thought of Joel doing that to her caused her stomach to churn. She couldn't imagine him leaving her for days on end, much less without any word or warning of doing so.

"C'mere - upstairs," he said, motioning her to follow him.

The two of them made their way up the stairs, hearing each step creak and groan in the process. Ellie thought the entire stairwell was on the verge of collapsing at any moment. She was confused, and had no idea what Sean was up to. Her earlier sense of nervousness heightened, and her palms started to sweat. She could tell something was off, this was going in a direction she didn't like. She just knew it.

"Welcome to my room, come see," he said, strutting into his room holding his arms up.

The ceiling was tattered and torn. There were pieces of it missing as the bare wood from the frame of the house glared open-faced down at the floor. A pile of comics, books and magazines lay in a pile in the corner along with a large collection of dirty clothes. The moldy scent that filled her nose from downstairs increased in intensity as she entered his room, causing her to make every effort to breath through her mouth.

"Great... so is this it? This is what you wanted to show me?"

"No - come sit down... have a seat - c'mere," he said, setting himself on the edge of his bed.

Ellie gulped, took a deep breath and sheepishly made her way over. She slowly set herself down as far as she could from him on the opposite side. An awkward silence fell between them as he simply sat there, staring at her. His gaze made her uncomfortable, and she wrapped her hands over her elbows, trying to encase herself in a protective space.

"Sooo..." she said.

"So - whadd'ya think? 'Bout my room."

"It's uhh... it's nice I guess - yeah," she said, trying to hold back the disgust and disdain she was feeling under the surface.

Sean snickered. "Thanks - but I know it's a dump, c'mon - let's be real."

Ellie let out an awkward laugh. "Heh - yeah kinda."

Another strenuous silence fell between them.

"Sean - what the hell are we doing? Do you wanna play cards - or something... go back outside?" she asked. She was getting more uncomfortable staying here by the second.

Without voicing a response, he scooted his way next to her and placed his hand on her leg. His touch sent a shock of fear throughout her entire body, each one of her nerves recoiled in reaction and her palms were no longer the only body parts that were sweating. She could feel her breathing shallow and quicken, and felt her skin getting clammy. Suddenly, she felt him grab the side of her head with one hand, pulling it towards him while he simultaneously reached for the button on her jeans with the other. Her eyes widened and the hair on the back of her neck stood straight up. She felt like she was under attack, like a caged animal hopelessly backed into a corner. She yearned for Joel, her protector, for his presence, and every fiber in her being prayed he would somehow come barging through the door to put and end to this awful moment. She knew what Sean was trying to do, and there wasn't a single cell in her body that wanted any part of it. She felt the touch of his breath against her neck and that was the final straw.

"Ack - shit! What the fuck are you doing!?" she stammered, jumping to her feet. She began slowly back pedaling away.

His mouth gave way to a grin, the type of grin that makes no attempt to hide one's underlying true intentions. "What's it look like I'm doing? Now get your ass back over here," he said, his tone suddenly shifting from friendly to nefarious.

"No! Eww! Fuck off!" she shouted, recoiling in fright.

"Eww? What the hell you mean eww? What - you don't like boys?"

"Does it fucking matter!?" she exclaimed.

"Pssht - what the fuck ever... now get back over here - c'mon - I know you want it."

"No! Fuck you - you piece of shit! Don't ever touch me again - got it!?"

Sean rose to his feet and laughed in response. "You're cute when you're angry - c'mere," he said, grabbing her arm.

"No - I told you! Get the fuck off me!" Ellie barked, consciously holding down her sleeve over her right arm. If at any moment she faltered, he would see her scar from the horrid virus. Her immunity was a gift, but also a curse. She had no idea how people would react if they unearthed her secret. He couldn't know, she was petrified of what would happen if he found out.

"Shut up - you don't even know what you want - now _come_ _here,_ " he demanded, once again trying to pull her towards him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? No! No!" she screamed in response, tearing her arm away from his grasp.

"What's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with me - you're the one acting out of control. Just... relax - fuckin' a... I'm not gonna hurt you - I promise."

Ellie took another step back then watched him once again slowly creep closer. He grabbed her once more, trying to pull her to the ground.

"C'mere girl - just take these off and - "

"I said no!" Ellie interrupted with a shout.

She felt him reach for her jeans once again and in the blink of an eye she lifted her fist and struck him in the face as hard she could, knocking him backwards.

"If I ever see you again - I swear to fucking god I'm going to tell my - " She paused, aware of what she was about to say. "My dad."

"Pfft - what the fuck ever. He ain't really your dad - I know... I've heard the real story. He ain't your dad - and he never will be."

His statement crushed her soul and she felt like collapsing. Then suddenly, a massive sense of anger and strength surged through her body as she sternly voiced her response.

"You don't know shit - and if I tell him what you've done... you won't be breathing when morning comes - trust me you sack of shit. Don't ever fucking come near me again," she said, staring him down.

Her warning caused him to back away. The realization that Joel would actually kill him, sent a mortal shiver of fear down his spine.

As her adrenaline started to fade, Ellie frantically turned around, leaped down the stairs and ran out the door. Her heart began to race and tears pooled at the base of her eyes as she quickened her pace, now running at a full sprint. Her lips began to tremble through her panted breaths as she whimpered from the trauma. Sean's actions violently ripped off a scab that had been slowly healing all this time, causing the familiar wave of fear and anguish to seep into her bones. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks, dripping onto the dirt below as she ran home. Even here, in Jackson, her supposed chance at a healthy, normal life, the cruelty of the current world managed to creep its way in. And as such, she began to wonder if any good, anything worth saving at all, still remained in humanity. There was, but it was one thing and one thing only, Joel. The thought of him only made her yearn to be home even more. She desperately wanted to get back to him, get back to her loving father, and wrap herself in his embrace, protecting her from a world that was now, without a doubt, rotten to the core.

* * *

Joel watched Ellie and Sean through the window as they walked off into the distance. Part of him still felt nervous about her being around Sean without supervision, but he tried to convince himself it was okay. He took a deep breath then rubbed his face with both hands. It was oddly quiet. It felt strange to be the only person in his house, and he was missing his daughter already. He had become so attached to her, and her to him. However, he knew eventually they would have to grow out of their co-dependent state and thus make an attempt at living somewhat normal lives. Although, he wasn't about to force either of them in that direction just yet. The psychological and emotional damage the two of them sustained over the past year wasn't simply going to heal itself in a few months, it would likely take much, much longer than that. He remained at the kitchen table, tapping his fingers on its surface as he pondered what to do with himself. Being this alone felt beyond strange, he had no clue what to do and sensed himself getting lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, a knock at the door broke the silence and he was relieved something arrived to rescue him from tunneling down the dark hole that was his damaged mind.

"Come in - it's open!" he yelled.

The door creaked open, and in came Michelle, holding two glasses.

"Oh - Michelle - evenin'," he said, wary of her intentions. Ellie's confession that the woman scared her remained engraved in his mind.

"Hey - I was hoping to find you here."

"Well - I can't move much so... reckon ya had a pretty good shot."

She snickered. "Yeah... just you?" she inquisitively asked.

Joel could sense the weight behind her question, she only wanted to know if Ellie was present or not. "Uhh... yeah - it's - it's just me," he said, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

A smile stretched across her face. "Well - I only brought two glasses so that works."

"I see that."

"Care for a drink?" she asked, walking over to the table and setting the glasses down. "I brought whiskey - you like that right?" She knew he did, but she asked anyway.

He sighed. "Yeah... yeah I do." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I dunno Michelle - I..."

"Oh c'mon - don't be like that. You need some company - besides, no one likes to drink alone. You aren't gonna make me do that are ya?" she playfully asked with a smile, batting her eyes.

Joel carefully considered his next words. On one hand he didn't want her staying long, he wanted her gone by the time Ellie returned. However, on the other, he was dreadfully alone and thought a little conversation over a glass of whiskey couldn't hurt. He wasn't sure for how long Ellie would be away, but figured if they only had one drink, and made it quick, it would be okay.

"Ahh - hell... yeah - fine. Go ahead sit on down, pour me one," he said, giving into her demands.

"See - knew you couldn't resist," she said as she unscrewed the cap and poured the bronze liquid into the two glasses.

Joel reached for his glass, tipped the edge of it towards her and gave a nod.

"Cheers," she said.

"Yep - cheers."

They each took a sip and Joel puckered his lips then let out a satisfying exhale. "Ahhh - damn that's good."

"Yeah - sure is. So - aside from the obvious... how you been? You've been here a few months now - completely adjusted?" she asked.

"Ehhhh... sorta - yeah I guess," he responded slowly, taking another sip from his glass. "Reckon it still feels weird some mornin's... gettin' up - knowin' we ain't gotta fight just to live."

"I imagine so - hard to break that feeling I guess."

"Now that's puttin' it lightly," he responded with a snicker, taking another sip of whiskey.

Michelle flung her hair back then rested her chin on her hand as she leaned in closer to him.

"You know... you don't have to live like that anymore... I mean - you can be happy now," she said, reaching her other hand out to his leg.

Her touch pulled his eyes down to her hand that now rested on his leg and his heart began to race. He tried to convince himself she was just being friendly, but knew she was going for more. He was unsure of what to do and simply let her touch linger while letting out a sigh.

"Well - happiness is all relative. I mean - when ya compare now with before... ya know - everything went to shit, but - I'd say uhh... I got everything I need to be honest."

Michelle gave him a puzzled look. "Really? Everything?" she asked with a pressing tone.

Joel took another sip from his glass. "Mmmhmm," he succinctly responded. He didn't want to mention Ellie, figuring his laconic response would help further protect her from Michelle. He absolutely didn't want her blaming Ellie for anything that may or may not transpire between them, that much he knew.

She knew he meant Ellie, even if he wouldn't say it. She reached a hand to her brow and rubbed her forehead, clearly displaying her agitation. She scooted herself closer to him, and leaned further in.

"Don't you feel like... you're missing something?"

Joel slightly pulled back in reaction to her close proximity. "Like what?" he asked with a feigned sense ignorance. He knew what she meant.

"Come on - you know what..." she said with a smile.

He averted his eyes then tried to somewhat parry her pointed question. "I had someone... once... but she's gone - dead now. Reckon I haven't thought about it since - not sure I ever will." That wasn't entirely true, the thought of Tess would occasionally dance its way through his mind.

"Not ever?" she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder.

She slowly lurched her lips towards his. He could feel his heartbeat quicken even more and his breaths become shallower. Just before reaching him, he pulled his hand up and gently pushed her aside.

"Michelle..."

"What? What's wrong? What is it!? Is it me - or - "

"No - no. It ain't you... it's just... now ain't the time. I ain't ready to go there yet," he responded, knowing full well he never would be, much less with her. He was beginning to agree with Ellie, there was something about her that made him uneasy. More specifically, her behavior towards Ellie. He didn't like it one bit.

"You keep saying that!" she stammered, her voice rising with frustration. She pulled herself away then crossed her arms.

"It's cause of Ellie - isn't it?" she snapped, anger palpable in her voice.

The tone behind her words caused Joel's eyes to widen. It only confirmed within himself that Michelle merely viewed Ellie as an obstacle, as an annoyance that impeded her path to get to him.

"No! That ain't it at all, you understand?" he responded, smacking his hand on the table. He was going to protect Ellie at all costs, and wouldn't dare mention her as the reason for his distance.

"You want someone to blame - you blame me god dammit," he continued.

"Oh - cut the shit Joel, you and I both know that's not true. Why won't you ever just let me in - you've always kept me at a distance. I know this part of you is still there - you just won't let yourself give into it," she said, trying to make her case.

A silence fell between them and they stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

Michelle took a deep breath, prepping herself for what she was about to say.

"She can't give you what I can - don't you know that? Besides... she's not really your dau - "

"Stop! Right, fuckin', there... don't you say another goddamn word," Joel sternly said, aggressively pointing his finger towards her. "I told you not to rope her into this - she's got nothin' to do with it."

Like he had all along, since fate brought his little sprite to him back in Boston, he remained hellbent on protecting her. He refused to mention her as the reason, knowing it would only endanger her more due to Michelle's volatile and unstable personality.

"Look... Michelle, you seem like a nice girl - Tommy and Maria like ya - that's all well and great but..." he said, trying not to hurt her feelings. He paused then ran has hands over his face.

"But what!?" she exclaimed.

"But this... you an' me... ain't gonna happen. I'm sorry - I am but... you're gonna have to move on."

She slammed her glass back to the table then rose to her feet.

"I feel bad for you Joel, I really do," she said, looking down at him. "You're gonna be a lonely old man for the rest of your life."

"Don't tell me what I do or don't need... I'm doin' just fine - now that's enough," he said, putting his hand out. "If you wanna be friends and hang out - that's great, I'm all in. Hell - if you wanna sit back down and have another drink and start all over - pretend this whole ordeal never happened - fine by me. But you gotta accept that fact, got it?"

"Pfft - whatever. You're beyond help," she said, brushing his hand aside as she made her way out.

"See you around," she snapped over her shoulder before slamming the door shut.

* * *

After Michelle stormed off, Joel sat on the couch twiddling his thumbs waiting for Ellie to return. It had been a little over forty five minutes since she left with Sean and he had no inclination as to when she would return. The lonesome silence was difficult to bear as he started getting lost in his own head, debating how and when he would finally tell Ellie the truth. He mulled over scenario after scenario, each one ending with his mind taking a turn around a dark corner. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself it would all be okay, there persisted a voice in the back of his head taunting him it wouldn't be so. This was the longest period of time the two of them had been separated since Maria took her to meet the other children of Jackson. It felt strange, and the father in him inevitably started to worry that something went wrong, that she was in trouble and needed him. He tried to shake away the negative thoughts and told himself he was once again just being paranoid.

Then, he heard the faint sounds of whimpering, panting and sniffling from the other side of the door along with the patter of footsteps against the porch. He stared at the doorknob, watching and hearing it turn, hoping he would see his little girl on the other side of the door. It opened, and there she was. But she returned in a much different state than she had left. Tears were strolling down her cheeks and she was panting so hard he could see her little frame intensely expanding and contracting with each breath.

"Ellie!? What the hell - you okay!?" he belted out, lunging forward to the edge of the couch.

Without delay, she stumbled her way towards him, tripping over her tired feet and falling to the floor. She began crawling on her hands and knees, desperate to reach him while still panting from exhaustion. In a combination of horror and confusion, he watched his baby girl frantically and desperately crawl her way towards him then felt her arms wrap around his ankles. The sight tugged at his heartstrings, and he immediately jumped into paternal mode.

"Oh no - baby c'mere - c'mere," he soothed, bending down and lifting her to his lap by her armpits.

He felt her immediately press the side of her head against his chest and curl her legs in, turning herself into a tiny ball as she sat in his arms. She had done this before, and eventually he learned how to interpret her body language. This meant trouble, he knew she was hurting, afraid, in pain, or all of the above. He pulled her in tight and gently wrapped one arm around her neck, resting his hand below her chin as he wrapped the other around her back and shoulder. She had yet to say a word, but he felt her chest rapidly expand against his with each of her short breaths. Her limbs shook with fear and she couldn't prevent herself from constantly quivering.

"Sweetie - you're shakin'," he said as he grabbed her shaking, little hands, cupping them between his.

Feeling him relax his grip around her, she grabbed his arm and pulled it towards her waist, forcing him to re-tighten his embrace. She latched onto his forearm with her hands, clinging to him in a desperate attempt for comfort. She was finally safe, in his arms, in her favorite place. This was her domain, nothing could harm her here, not even the most foul beast from her worst nightmare. Her breathing slowly returned to normal and the shaking in her limbs ceased. But regardless, Joel could sense something was seriously awry, that much he was sure of. Something obviously happened while she was away with Sean, something that spooked her so badly she resorted to behaving like she did that night after he found her in that burning restaurant. He thought, for just a second, that perhaps Sean was responsible, but told himself the boy wouldn't dare.

"Ellie - _what_ is wrong? Talk to me - c'mon," he whispered, lowering his lips to her hair.

She wanted to tell him about Sean, tell him how the horrid young man ripped away the scab that had nearly healed, only for the wound it covered to profusely bleed once again as her emotionally damning feelings from David resurfaced. However, she knew if she did, it would mean the end for the boy. Joel's rage was no match for anyone, much less a nineteen year old kid. The thought of what would happen if Joel unleashed his fury scared her. She knew there was a chance she could lose him. And, like her feelings towards Michelle, she felt trapped, unable to speak the entire truth.

She sniffled and nuzzled her nose into his arm. "I... I missed you," she said with a sob. It were the only words that came to mind aside from telling him the truth.

"Shhh honey - I'm still here - see? We're okay - I'm here - I've gotcha," he soothed, lowering his face to hers, demonstrating he was indeed still there.

Finally, after all this time, a word she wanted to utter for so long forced its way from her lips. The urge to say it was far too strong, and she couldn't hold it back any longer. Moreover, Sean's earlier accusation only made her yearn to say it even more. She was already as vulnerable as can be, and letting herself give into every ounce of it wasn't going to do any harm. She was past the point of no return, there was no going back and she opened her mouth to speak.

"Da - " she started, her lips trembling from fear but also from nerves due to what she was about to say. "Daddy - plea - please don't let go. Please daddy," she finally said through a whimper.

The word sent a massive ripple through Joel's emotions. His heart fluttered and butterflies filled his stomach. He hadn't heard that word since Sarah, over twenty years ago.

"Oh baby girl," he said, placing a hand behind her head.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying not to cry. That word cut straight to his core. He took a deep breath as he struggled to hold back tears of his own.

"Baby - look at me - up here," he said, pulling her closer to him until he could feel her heartbeat through her rib cage against his chest.

He looked down, only to see Ellie, engulfed in his embrace, adorably looking up at him, yearning for him to respond with a sense to tenderness. The childlike desire behind her eyes, desperately hoping he wouldn't push her away and instead do exactly as she asked earlier, love her as his daughter, called to him. In that moment, the look of vulnerability and neediness that exuded from her face melted him to mush. He wasn't going to fail her this time.

"You're _my_ daughter - _my_ baby girl - _my_ adorable, little girl. I ain't lettin' go 'til you say so."

She let out a small laugh through her crying, unbelievably relieved to finally hear him refer to her in that way.

 _His daughter. I really am his daughter,_ she thought to herself.

"Really?" she sheepishly asked through a whimper.

Joel let out a slight snicker, amused at how absurd the question was, of course she was his daughter. She became that long ago.

"Honey - oh my god... I reckon you became that long, long ago."

A smile stretched across her face, and her crying finally ceased. She leaned her head once more into his chest and let out another laugh of relief. This tender moment was one they both had been secretly seeking for so long. Despite the mental anguish and horror she was experiencing from Sean, she couldn't help but feel a tingle of happiness course through her. She pulled her legs in tighter, trying to completely encase herself in a protective cocoon within his loving arms.

He knew how important this moment was for her. Throughout her entire life, not a single person truly cared for her like a real parent. She had no one really nurture her, giving her the love and affection any child deserves. He could tell, without a doubt, how happy and relieved she was to be pulled closer to his heart, rather than be pushed away after displaying another moment of vulnerability.

"Ellie - baby - look at me. You're my daughter - nothin' is ever gonna change that. An' I mean nothin'."

She obeyed, and looked up at him again with her tear filled eyes, simply nodding in response. He could tell she wanted to say it again.

"Go on - I know you wanna say it again."

"Dad!" she cautiously muttered with a smile.

He let out a laugh in response, then brushed her rebellious lock of hair behind her ear.

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" she continued, each one said more emphatically than the previous. "Daddy!" she loudly said as her final tears dripped from her eyelashes.

That last one, caused a massive smile to stretch across his face. He looked down into her eyes and gave her one last assurance that she really had nestled her way deep into his heart, and was there to stay.

"You're my baby girl - my daughter - don't let anyone convince you otherwise."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Please read my note at the end after reading this chapter, thank you.**

* * *

A full week had gone by since Ellie frantically scurried home to Joel after her run-in with Sean. Joel sensed her original explanation as to why she was upset wasn't entirely true, he knew there was more to it, but he didn't pry. He assumed she would bring it up eventually, and instead appreciated the tender moment they shared once she returned. He could see an uptick in her mood ever since, despite how upset she initially was upon returning to him. The next morning, she couldn't help herself but constantly refer to him as dad, enjoying every time she said it and thus bringing a smile to his face. Since then, she stopped referring to him as Joel altogether. It was dad from then on out, something he was okay with. Likewise for him, he stopped referring to her as Ellie. Each call to her now consisted of one of his many terms of endearment, honey, sweetie, baby, baby girl, munchkin, but never Ellie. Their relationship had taken another step towards true father and daughter familial love.

Joel could now walk without much discomfort, though he limped at each step and would continue to do so for as long as he lived. The throbbing pain that used to burn deep from within his leg was no longer present, and every-day tasks started feeling normal once again. Something that both he, and Ellie, appreciated. They had just reclaimed the construction duties in Jackson, and were both reacquainting themselves with the process and routine that came along with it. Whether they would admit it or not, they thoroughly enjoyed the previous week they spent with each other. However, jumping back into the reality of work, at least what constituted as work in this day and age, felt strange, but they knew it was necessary nonetheless.

Summer was at its peak and it was in the heart of July. Temperatures ran high and the past few days had been exceptionally hot. Ellie decided to forgo the usual thermal underneath her t-shirt. Joel, adapting to the heat as well, hadn't worn one of his signature flannels in quite sometime, and instead donned a t-shirt too. Their house was unbearably hot. Air conditioning didn't exist in any of the old homes in Jackson, something Joel fondly remembered while reminiscing about his times back in Texas. Instead, all windows and doors were left open to allow a draft waft through the house, keeping them just cool enough so they wouldn't go mad with insanity from the heat.

It was late in the afternoon and they had just returned home for the day. Joel was sitting on the couch, trying to cool off, when he heard Ellie coming down the stairs after finishing her shower.

"Dad - where's my hair tie!?" Ellie yelled from the stairwell.

He glanced around the room, looking for her black hair tie and saw it resting on the small table adjacent to the armrest.

"Down here sweetie - I've got it!" he yelled back.

Ellie rounded the corner from the stairs.

"Hey look at that - there really was a cute little girl hidden beneath all that grime," he said with a playful laugh.

"Yeah - yeah... laugh it up," she said, adjusting her hair into her usual pony tail.

She made her way to the couch and sat next to him.

"So when are Tommy and Maria getting here?"

"Uhh... told 'em to show up whenever they get hungry - no time specifically."

"Ah - okay... Man - it's fucking hot."

"Yeah - no kiddin'. I reckon winter is soundin' pretty good right about now."

Ellie pulled her legs to her chest, curling up next to him while she let out a snicker. "Pssht - yeah right, fuck that."

She tilted her head to the left, resting it on his shoulder. "How did you stay cool - back in Texas?"

"Well - everyone down there had air conditioning. It uhh... cooled the air inside, kept you comfortable."

"Wait - houses and stuff had A.C. as well? I thought only cars had it," Ellie asked.

Joel laughed, realizing that it in the world she grew up in, the only place she probably had seen or even heard of the concept of air conditioning was indeed in a car.

"Yep - life saver it was. Hell... I remember some summers in Texas - you couldn't even leave the house it was so damn hot."

"Huh - I mean... I guess it makes sense - if a car can have it... why not a house? Guess I never really thought about it though."

"Funny how - ya know... now a days all the little things we took for granted back then - I reckon we wouldn't take 'em for granted now," Joel continued.

"Yeah - no shit. Like that... toaster thing we have."

Joel laughed. "Yes kiddo - like that toaster thing."

Joel yawned and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Well - we should get cookin' - want everything to be ready by the time they show up. Whadd'ya say?" he continued.

"Sure - let's do it," she responded.

Now that Joel was healthy enough to move around with only a limp, the two of them tackled the task of cooking together. Joel offered to completely take over like before, but Ellie enjoyed the experience too much and instead viewed it as another opportunity for them to bond. This time was no different and they both went into the kitchen to prepare the extravagant meal they were going to consume with Tommy and Maria. Ellie gathered all of the pots, pans and utensils that were needed, while Joel collected the ingredients from the cupboards.

"Ahh - shit," he said.

"What? What's wrong?" Ellie asked.

"I thought we... dammit. I thought we had an onion already - we don't. Reckon we need more salt too."

"Well shit - that's kind of a big deal," Ellie said with a sarcastic tone, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yeah - hmmm," Joel said as he turned to Ellie and scratched his beard, pondering what to do next.

"Think you'll be okay here by yourself for just a bit? Thought I'd head over to Tommy and Maria's - just ask 'em for one - then figured they could come on back with me."

Ellie sighed, not entirely thrilled with him leaving her alone for any period of time. The first few days after her experience with Sean she hardly ever left his side. Though, she was just now getting more used to it. She started taking short walks by herself away from the house, but always within eyesight of Joel.

"Umm - okay... that's fine. Just... don't be long," she said with a sigh.

Joel smiled as he approached her then messed with her hair. "I won't - you know that."

"I know," she said, looking up at him with a smile of her own.

"'Kay - I'll be right back - won't be long I promise."

"Alright - I'll try not to burn the house down," Ellie replied with a playful laugh.

"Uhh yeah that'd be great," Joel said with a smirk before walking out the door.

Ellie sighed once more through her lips and watched his figure get smaller off in the distance as an uneasy feeling filled her. She wasn't sure why, but watching him walk away made her realize she wasn't particularly happy about being alone. Instead of preparing the ingredients she had available, she flopped onto the couch and examined the map of the United States that remained on the table near the armrest. She had taken a liking to maps, and enjoyed inspecting them every chance she got. The thought of other places, other cities that she had yet to see, and may never see at that, caused her imagination to dance. She tried to envision what each location was like, creating a mental image in her head of every place that was foreign to her. Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming up the porch behind her.

"Wow - that was fast, did you haul ass or - "

"Hi Ellie."

Michelle's voice interrupted her, and a sickening feeling twisted her stomach into a knot. She was alone, by herself, in a room with the one person she hated more than Sean. Her heartbeat increased, and her throat started clenching shut as she nervously rose to a sitting position. She turned her head, praying the voice was merely an illusion, and that Michelle really wasn't standing in between her and the only exit. Her hopes were immediately dashed, and she saw Michelle's towering figure in the doorway, arms crossed with an intense expression across her face. Ellie slowly scooted her way to the other end of the couch and brought her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"Hey - hey Michelle," she muttered, voice cracking with anxiety.

"How's it going?" Michelle asked.

"It's - it's okay," Ellie responded, getting more nervous by the second.

"I saw Joel walk off - just you here huh? How's it feel bein' the boss for now?"

Ellie let out a small laugh. "Heh - yeah it's kinda cool I guess. Have the place to myself for a bit - he's coming back though - won't be long."

"Ah - well then," Michelle said, approaching Ellie and sitting next to her.

Her close proximity caused Ellie's heart to pound even harder. She could feel every beat of it through her rib cage. It was as if Michelle was slowly backing her into a corner, like a cat toying with its prey before finally pouncing and tearing it to pieces.

"How - " Ellie gulped. "How are you doing?" She was trying to exude her usual strong, tough outer shell persona, but Michelle's presence had her spooked. Somehow, right at this moment, Ellie knew this woman was responsible for her fall from the ladder. Not a single doubt remained in her mind.

"Been better."

"Oh - is everything alright?"

Suddenly, Michelle reached out her hand and grabbed Ellie's arm, tightening her grip to the point of hurting her.

"You told him didn't you," she snapped.

Ellie tried to pull away, but felt Michelle forcefully yank her back.

"Ow - shit, what the fuck - let go of me! Told him what!?" Ellie exclaimed in fright.

"Don't play dumb with me stupid girl - you know what. The ladder - it was just supposed to be a joke."

"I knew it! I fucking knew it! A joke!? I nearly broke my neck! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Ellie shouted, still trying to squirm free from Michelle's grasp.

"So you did tell him? I knew you did - explains everything."

"What - I... no! Everything!? What - what the fuck are you talking about!?" Ellie felt trapped, like a caged animal terrified of its foreign confinement. She was the small critter trying to hide from its predator, but without any path to escape. Michelle's grip was getting harder and harder, causing her skin to bruise.

"Ow! Let go! You're hurting me you fucking psycho! Let me go!" Ellie yelled, slamming her other fist down onto Michelle's arm.

"Hey! Listen here you little cunt - you don't get to hit anyone - you need to start showing some respect," Michelle growled, as she grabbed Ellie's other tiny, flailing arm.

She had Ellie's hands bound in hers, and the little girl felt utterly powerless. Ellie glanced over Michelle's shoulder, praying to see Joel's figure approaching but there was nothing, no one. She was without her switchblade, without her father, without her protector. She had nothing, and felt naked. She was out sized and out muscled by this grown adult that was bullying her like a cruel owner does with a pet.

Ellie, realizing she wasn't getting away, ceased her wriggling and looked Michelle dead in the eyes. "Go fuck yourself," she said, spitting in her face.

Michelle flinched in reaction and her eyes burned with fire as her complexion turned to a dark red.

"Stupid fucking girl," she shot back.

Michelle rose her hand and smacked Ellie as hard she could across the face, knocking her off the couch and onto the floor. Ellie shuddered in pain, her vision blurred from the vicious blow and she could feel her nose begin to bleed. She tried to rise to her feet, but was only kicked back down by the heel of Michelle's boot.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Leave me the fuck alone!" Ellie screamed as the side of her face was pressed to the floor.

"Wow - not very smart are you? Feisty sure... but not too bright, you don't get it do you? Keep this up, see what happens, I dare you."

"Fuck you," Ellie spat back, lifting her head from the floor.

Then, Michelle uttered a familiar string of words that shattered Ellie's confidence into bits of broken glass. It completely dismantled her, causing her to quiver in fear.

"Alright then - I guess you can try begging."

Tears pooled at the base of her eyes and she started to cry as she tried to wriggle away from Michelle. But it was to no avail, the woman had her pinned to the floor.

"What? You're crying now? I thought you were all tough shit - don't cry you stupid kid."

Michelle bent down, forcefully gripped Ellie's arms and turned her over. She looked the little girl in the eyes and implored her to stop crying.

"Stop crying - stop it!" she yelled.

Ellie sniffled and tried to squirm away, but couldn't, Michelle's grip was far too strong. It was at this very moment, that complete and total unabated fear filled every inch of her body. She realized she was utterly powerless and was no match for the grown woman that was intent on smacking her around. Her tough, outer shell finally cracked, falling into thousands of pieces. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she began to scream for her father, her protector, the one person in the world who she knew truly cared for her.

"Daddy! Please! Help! Help me! Please! Daddy!" she shouted through her tears.

"Oh shut up - you're not really his daughter and you never will be. Now - you stay the fuck out of my way when it comes to him. Do you understand? Don't make me come back here - you won't say a word to him about this okay? Right!?" she screamed.

"You can't make him happy - you can't give him what I can. You're just a stupid infected girl - some street rat born from a whore who never, ever wanted you. I've heard your story... you were never, ever, wanted. Ever. You know that right?"

Michelle continued thrashing Ellie with her sharp tongue. It was emotional battery in its most horrific form. The woman had beaten Ellie's mind to a pulp and at this point was merely kicking a helpless animal while it was down. Ellie started to uncontrollably sob, which only irritated Michelle even more.

"Stop crying!" she snapped, hitting her again.

Ellie's head shot to the side as blood began dripping from her lips. She turned it back towards Michelle, refusing to quit, refusing to give this woman that she hated so much what she wanted.

Michelle smacked her again, then again, then again, then again. Ellie's vision began to blur and shots of blackness sputtered through her mind as she tiptoed along the line of consciousness, each blow from the back of Michelle's hand bruising her face more and more.

"Pluh - please... stop. Fucking - fucking stop," Ellie whimpered. She could barely speak she was in so much pain.

"I said stop fucking crying!" Michelle shouted.

She swung her fist one last time at Ellie, causing the little girl to let out one last cry of pain, yelping like a small dog does when getting kicked in the ribs. Then, everything went black and her body went limp.

* * *

Joel and Tommy were making their way back, supplies in hand to begin cooking their meal and enjoy their evening. They were approaching the house and Joel was already looking forward getting back to Ellie and having a pleasant evening with his family.

"So she's a chef now too huh?" Tommy jokingly asked.

"Yeah pretty much - she took to it - I ain't gonna lie. Man - at first though... you shoulda seen -"

A sharp, piercing yelp shot from the inside of his house, echoing its way to his ears. He knew the voice, he knew it was Ellie, his daughter. He knew she was in trouble.

"Oh god! Shit! Ellie!" Joel shouted, immediately dropping everything he carried to the ground.

"What in the hell - Joel hang on!" Tommy yelled, following him in pursuit. "Oh fuck... please not again - not again," he whispered to himself under his breath.

"Ellie! Ellie!" Joel shouted, running at a full sprint as he approached the porch steps. He heard no response.

He bolted into the doorway, panted breaths and all, only to see Michelle, towering over his baby girl. His gaze immediately darted to Ellie, and saw her covered in bruises, her right eye swollen completely shut. Blood dripped from her lips and nose as her body lay limp on the floor. His brain had trouble comprehending what just happened, it was as if the mere sight caused his mind to short-circuit. His heart shattered into pieces, aching his entire body with guilt and sadness throughout. His lips started to tremble, and tears started collecting over his eyes. Seeing his little girl in such a condition was killing him right then and there. Then, suddenly, the sound of Michelle's breathing and her footsteps as she backed away yanked him back to reality. He finally, after all this time, understood why Ellie was afraid of this woman. Her fear of Michelle was entirely just, and it pained him to the core of his soul that he couldn't protect her. He broke his promise, he let harm befall her from the one person she feared most.

He gritted his teeth and cracked his knuckles as an insurmountable amount of rage burned within him. It blazed like an out of control wildfire, emanating from the darkest depths of his mind and soul. He looked at Michelle, clenching his fists.

"What... the _fuck_!" he shouted. "Did you do to my daughter?" Joel sneered, hearing his molars crack in the back of his mouth as he growled with a collected, terrifying anger. It was not a question of if, but merely when he would explode into an uncontrollable fit of fury. He was a ticking time bomb. He knew it, Michelle knew it.

"Joel - you won't believe what happened - she fell from the stairs and then I - I tried to - "

"Liar! You fucking liar!" he shouted, not buying one word from her forked tongue.

Tommy finally caught up and stepped through the doorway behind Joel, trying to catch his breath.

"Holy shit," he muttered, seeing Ellie's little frame lying motionless on the floor.

"Tommy! Wait outside - go!" Joel barked.

"But Joel - "

"Outside! Now! Do it!"

Tommy sensed the intensity behind Joel's words. It frightened him, he had never once, in his entire life, ever seen his brother this angry. Michelle started to slowly back away until she bumped into the wall. Now, it was her who was being backed into a corner with no way out.

"You - you weren't supposed to be here," she nervously stuttered.

"Well it's my goddamn house why the fuck wouldn't I be here!?" he shouted, taking another step towards her.

"She - she tried to hit me Joel - she started trying to bite - "

"Shut the fuck up! Don't fucking lie to me - I know exactly what happened here."

Michelle crossed her arms and gulped. "No - no - no you don't - trust me I swear I -"

"Ohhhh I think I do. Let me tell you somethin'... in a few minutes you're gonna wish you were never born," he said as he slowly strode closer to her with the veins in his neck protruding from the surface of his skin.

From the deepest, darkest recesses of his soul, Joel began to channel his ex-hunter self. He was transforming into the cruelest of the cruel, and the time bomb that was his inner rage was on the verge of exploding.

"She - she - that fucking little cunt had it coming!" Michelle shouted in anger, finally exposing her true colors.

 _Click._

That was it, the timer went off.

Without a second delay, Joel lunged towards her and grabbed her by the back of the head. He swung her to the ground, kicking her in the back as she hit the floor. He pressed his heel against her neck and leaned down to speak to her.

"So... beatin' up kids - that's your thing huh? That's where you get off? Reckon I may have just found someone more sick and twisted than me - but maybe not - why don't you be the judge of that." The words left his tongue with an extra bite, sourced from his hatred for this person who was responsible for physically abusing his daughter.

He lifted her up by the hair and dragged her into the kitchen, then slammed her face into the edge of the table.

Blood dripped from her mouth as a few broken teeth dropped to the floor. As she tried to crawl away, Joel once again kicked her to the ground. He then rolled her over, picked her up and pressed her back against the wall, wrapping his hand in a death grip around her throat.

"Now - I've never hurt a woman before - but you're no woman - you barely qualify as human. So here's how this is gonna play out - you're gonna apologize to Ellie - right, fuckin', now. Each second that you don't - I swear to god I'm gonna hurt you," Joel said to her with seething anger, bringing his face mere centimeters from hers.

Michelle simply spat in his face and tried to wrestle free. Joel slammed her head against the wall in reaction.

"Say it!"

She spat on him once more, again causing him to smash the back of her head against the wall.

"Fuckin' apologize to my little girl! Do it god dammit!"

"Go - go to hell," she stuttered, as she felt herself approaching the border of unconsciousness.

"That's it," Joel growled.

He threw her to the ground and knelt above her, pinning her below him in-between his knees. He swung his fist, striking her in the jaw. He swung again, and again, and again, until his knuckles were completely covered in blood.

Finally, Tommy stumbled through the doorway, urging him to stop.

"Joel! Stop!"

He ran over to Joel, grabbing his arm with both of his hands, but was only barely able to hold his brother back.

"Stop! Fuckin' stop! Joel! Listen to me! Stop god dammit! Stop!" Tommy stammered.

Joel fell backwards to the floor as Tommy finally pulled him away. His mind immediately started to cool off the boiling rage that percolated at the surface and he wiped a smear of blood from his upper lip. He continued to glare at Michelle, furiously panting.

She twitched and coughed up another spout of blood as she tried to rise to her feet.

"No! Don't you fuckin' get up you - " Joel yelled, trying to rise to his feet.

"Joel! Stop! Just stop! Cool it god dammit!" Tommy yelled, interrupting him and pushing him back to the floor.

"Go get Ellie! You let me deal with her!" Tommy implored.

"Get up you sack of shit," Tommy said, picking Michelle up and pulling her to her feet. He escorted her outside and shoved her away when they reached the bottom step.

"I don't ever want to see your god damned face again. You have 'til midnight to pack your shit and leave - ya hear me? Midnight! Now go! Get the fuck outta here!" Tommy yelled, imploring her to leave.

He stood there, staring her down until she spun around and stumbled her way home to pack her things and immediately vacate Jackson. Tommy knew as long as she was in Jackson, her life was in danger. Joel now posed more of a threat to her than any pack of Infected could. Once he saw her figure finally disappear in the distance, he took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from his brow.

He went back inside, only to see Joel crying, holding Ellie's tiny, motionless, limp, little body in his arms as he tightly clutched her to his chest.

* * *

 **AN: It's possible I may have turned some readers away after this, I'm not totally sure. This is easily the darkest thing I've ever written and I actually had to tone it down at a few parts that in my opinion were just too graphic and intense. In fact, this may have even offended some people, and if so, I truly apologize, for that was not my intention and nor was that the main purpose of this chapter. This was, emotionally, extremely difficult for me to write, but it felt very real for me while doing so, and in my head it's an integral part of the story. Therefore, it had to stay.**

 **Also, do not worry, Sean will get his turn.**

 **I even feel a little bad leaving everyone hanging on such a dark, dark moment, so I will do my best to update as quickly as possible. Thank you again for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

As Joel rocked back and forth with Ellie in his arms, his fiery anger and rage rapidly shifted to despair and anguish. Tears began profusely dripping from his eyes and down his cheeks, eventually falling onto her shirt and hair.

"Agghh - oh god!" Joel cried out in agony, clenching his eyes shut as he tightened his embrace around his daughter.

"I'm so sorry - I'm sorry baby - I'm so sorry..." he said, his voice trailing off as he let out a convulsive sob.

A massive feeling of guilt rushed through him. He felt personally responsible for letting this happen, as if the mere twenty minutes he was gone were the cause for his daughter's barely alive state. It only reinforced the idea that each time he thought the two of them were making strides in terms of recovering from their previous psychological trauma, something horrific, such as this, always seemed to come along and set them back. Every inch of his heart ached with pain and the despair he was feeling began consuming his soul.

He slowly lifted his head away from her shoulder to inspect her wounds. She was horrifically bruised and her right eye was swollen shut. Blood continued to drip from her puffy lips and the base of her nose as she lay in his arms, still unresponsive. The only movement from her was the bobbing, swinging back and forth motion of her pony tail as it dangled over and under Joel's forearm.

"Tommy! Look at her! Look what she did to my baby girl! Fuckin' look!" he cried out, sobbing again.

Tommy couldn't even speak. He was petrified to see Ellie in her condition and his brother in such agonizing emotional pain. He simply collapsed to the floor and sat against the wall, unsure of what to do. He too, could hardly comprehend what he was witnessing. Finally, he put together a logical, and very necessary, train of thought.

He cleared this throat. "Joel... is - is she breathin'?" he asked.

Joel's rocking ceased and his eyes widened, realizing the implication behind his question. In a panicked state he leaned his ear to her lips, painstakingly listening for her next breath. It finally arrived, and he clenched his eyes shut again, letting out a sob of relief.

"Oh god - oh thank god... she's breathin'... barely - but she's here - my baby's still here..." he muttered through his weeping, his lips trembling as tears streamed down his cheeks. He brought her limp body up to his chest once again, wrapping one arm around her back and gently caressing the back of her head with the other so her chin rested on his shoulder.

Tommy looked towards the ceiling and heaved a sigh of relief, feeling a giant weight lift from his shoulders knowing she was, at the very least, still alive.

"It's okay sweetie - daddy's gotcha - it's okay now - I'm here baby girl," he whispered into her ear through his tears, sitting down against the wall with Ellie remaining tightly cuddled in his grasp.

Maria appeared at the door, expecting to enjoy an evening with her family, only to see the heart wrenching scene before her. She immediately dropped to her knees and covered her mouth as she cringed from the sight.

"Oh no - oh my god - no..." she muttered into her hands, tears of her own immediately filling her eyes.

Tommy and Maria sat in silence, quietly watching in horror as they nervously anticipated each of Joel's next actions.

"C'mon honey we're gonna get through this - you're my tough little girl - I know you're still there - I can feel your little heart beatin' away - you've gotta get through this - please baby c'mon," he pleaded to her.

He let out another sob and with her chin still resting on his shoulder, he pressed his lips against her cheek, giving her a kiss, praying it would somehow pull her back to consciousness.

"Wake up baby girl... c'mon - wake up - wake up!" he stammered through his cries of distress.

He gently pulled her head off his shoulder and gave her a long, loving kiss on the forehead as he clenched his eyes shut, feeling more tears drip from his cheeks onto her hair.

"You've gotta wake up sweetie - c'mon..." He cradled her head once more, pulling her as close to him as he could. Any bit of separation was too much.

Every beat of her heart he could feel against his chest and he prayed each one wouldn't be her last. His mind played tricks on him, and he started suspecting that the time in between each one was getting progressively longer and longer.

"Don't do this to me again - please not again - please don't do this," he said to himself, clenching his throat in a combination of anger and despair.

Hearing Joel's soul crushing pleas was excruciating for Tommy to hear. The entire situation vividly reminded him of that horrid night over twenty years ago, when Sarah died in his brother's arms. Her death, nearly killed Joel as well, and he began to wonder what his brother would do if the unthinkable happened, again. Neither he or Maria could fully believe that what they were seeing was real. Maria slowly rose to her feet and walked over to Joel then placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Joel - make her comfortable - take her upstairs we'll - " She paused, trying to hold back another wave of tears. "We'll be right here if you need anything - go - she needs to lie down."

"Yeah - you're right - okay," Joel said with a nod and loud sniffle.

He carefully rose to his feet, still holding his little girl close to him. He looked down at her battered, but forever adorable face that was now covered with drying blood and bruises. Seeing one of her eyes completely swollen shut sent a shock of agony through his heart. It was a sight that would haunt his dreams until he was lying dead in the ground. He couldn't restrain himself as another wave of tears effused from his eyes, which were at this point working overtime.

"Ohh my poor little baby girl... it's gonna be okay - I'm gonna take care of ya - I've gotcha sweetie - it's gonna be alright," he stuttered through another sob as he gazed at her little frame lying in his arms. Each second that went by in which he didn't hear her voice, he could feel what remained of his humanity getting ripped away bit by bit. As if he were slowly dying on the inside.

He took a deep breath and tried to collect himself, but just before he moved towards the stairs, Maria reached out her hand to gently touch Ellie's leg. The motion which was intended to demonstrate caring and empathy, only startled Joel and he quickly pulled her away, clutching her even closer to him.

"No - no - I'm... I'm sorry Maria - but... right now, no one touches her but me," he calmly said, now that his convulsive sobs were finally coming to an end.

He pulled Ellie in even tighter then kissed her on top of the head. At this point, not a single thing was going to cause her more harm. It meant wrapping her in his protective embrace, warding off all who would even try and touch her, even those he trusted and considered family. The mentality of a lion protecting its cub filled him to the brim, and guarding his little girl took precedent over everything else, including the regard for his own life.

"Okay - okay sorry... I know - I shouldn't of - "

"It's okay - I - I just... "

"Shh - it's alright - I understand," Maria replied, saving him from having to explain himself.

Joel heaved a sigh. "Yeah."

"Don't hesitate to ask for anything - okay?" Maria kindly said.

"Actually - could you - " He paused, let out another sniffle and lowered his face to his sleeve to wipe his eyes dry. "Could ya get some warm water an' bring it up with a damp wash cloth?"

"Of course."

* * *

Ellie was lying in bed, over the covers, with her head propped up with a pair of pillows. She was still unconscious but Joel could barely see her chest expanding and contracting with each small breath she took, assuring him she was still alive. He finally had collected himself and was no longer uncontrollably sobbing. He had to be strong, his daughter needed him, right at this moment in the most desperate way. While sitting on the edge of the bed, adjacent to her legs, he gently washed her face with a damp, warm towel. Each time he dipped it back into the bowl, the water became more and more saturated with her blood. This moment, reminded him of the night he found her kneeling over David, hacking away at his body with unbridled fury. He remembered washing her face as she quivered and shook from the trauma and shock, like a little bird lost and away from its nest, terrified of its surroundings. Like then, each pass over with the cloth exposed the raw cuts and bruises over her face. Each one becoming vividly clear, causing his heart to ache with paternal empathy.

He softly washed the dried blood over her swollen eye away, fully exposing the gruesome sight. It immediately brought on more tears of his own and he clenched his throat, wishing he could magically heal his little girl right then and there. He tossed the towel aside, which was now grotesquely stained with a dark red color.

"Ohhh poor baby..." he quietly muttered as he gently ran his thumb over her swollen eye.

Every cut, every bruise and every gash now lay uncovered, clearly visible and were a horrifying reminder of the torture she endured. He felt the sting of more tears collecting in his eyes, but shook his head as he tried to stave them off and let out a sniffle.

"Baby I'm... I'm so sorry - I'm never leavin' you alone again - ever, I promise sweetie - I promise," he whispered to her, gently stroking her hair.

He reached down and grabbed her small hand, bringing it to his lips as he kissed the back of it, then caressing it with both of his. The bruises around her wrist, where Michelle violently grabbed her, lured the attention of his eyes. He didn't noticed them before.

"Ohhh fuck..." he quietly cried out to himself.

 _How could this happen. How could anyone do this to my precious, baby girl,_ he thought to himself.

He couldn't believe that someone, much less a grown adult, would commit such a disturbing act of violence against a child. He began to wonder if there was actually any good that remained in this cruel world. To him, there was one thing and one thing only, Ellie, his daughter. This thought filled him with a sense of vindication, feeling as if the path he chose back in Salt Lake City was now justified. There really was nothing worth saving, nothing at all. Sacrificing this girl, who without a doubt had become his daughter, to rescue a world that was now void of all things good, felt preposterous, even illogical. He thought about his brother, Tommy, and his sister-in-law, Maria. He knew the choice he made on that fateful afternoon in Salt Lake City altered the course of humanity. It robbed Tommy and Maria of a true second chance at a normal life. He loved them, they were his family, but it was nothing compared to the love for his daughter. He realized, the only reason for living, his _purpose_ , remained in the form of this auburn haired, feisty, little sprite. He felt a sense of renewal wash over him, it was his _purpose_ filling his soul once more and right then, he swore not to lose her. He refused to lose Ellie, to lose his little girl, to lose another daughter. He simply would not let it happen.

"I ain't leavin' your side sweetie - when you wake up... I'll be right here. I know you're gonna wake up - you will baby... I _know_ you will," he soothed as he continued brushing her hair with his fingers.

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead then whispered one last assurance. "I'm _not_ losin' you baby - I ain't lettin' you go."

He couldn't lose another one, he _wouldn't_ lose another one. Though, the thought temporarily shot to the front of his mind, and he knew if it actually came to fruition, this time, without a doubt, it would surely kill him. He dismissed the disturbing realization and convinced himself everything was going to be okay. He was one-hundred percent sure she would wake up, he refused to believe otherwise.

He brushed her usual, non-conforming lock of hair behind her ear then pulled her tiny hand to his lap, gently holding it. He looked down at it, observing its lack of size but also acknowledging the number of Infected she had killed with it. He remembered the number of times she saved his life with it, by jumping onto and stabbing the back of a hunter who had him seconds from certain death. After gently rubbing her fingers, he looked to her and took a deep breath, preparing himself to finally emotionally open up and demonstrate an extremely rare instance of vulnerability. Even though he knew she couldn't hear him, he thought it would help bring her back to him.

"Ya know I..." He sniffled once more then cleared his throat. "I ain't ever gonna forget the first day I saw ya... you... oh god - " He had to pause to wipe a few tears from his eyes and prevent himself from crying once again.

"You reminded me so much of Sarah - and ya... " Exposing himself like this felt extremely foreign and felt utterly strange, even slightly uncomfortable. Despite knowing the person he spoke to was his daughter and that she couldn't even hear him, the act made him nervous.

"I'll never forget when we - that first night... tryin' to get outta the Q.Z. in Boston. We ran into that pack of clickers and ya - poor baby - ya looked so scared. All I could think of was Sarah bein' in that... that situation - it killed me an' I... I couldn't help from wantin' to keep ya safe - keep ya close... I couldn't help but feel like I... like I wanted to protect you - instead of feelin' like I had to. Guess I didn't realize how much I missed bein' a father... Christ - you reminded me so much of Sarah."

He let out a small laugh, then wiped his nose and sniffled. "I remember after we left Bill's and you - tssht - " He snickered. "You stole all that shit - an' found that goddamn magazine of his. Ohh man that was... you were so damn cute."

He coughed. "Ya just - it was so damn hard to keep myself from carin' about you. Every day I thought maybe - " He paused, sighed and scratched his beard, struggling to find the words to express his thoughts.

"When I lost Sarah - I never thought I'd care about somethin' - feel that attached to somethin' that much again - but shit I... I was wrong."

"Scared the hell outta me to be honest - I... I couldn't stand the thought of somehow losin' - " He began to choke up. "Losin' you - losin' my daughter all over again."

"Tell you the truth that's - ahh... shit... that's why I tried to put ya in Tommy's hands. What I was feelin' was just... goddamn scary an' I didn't think I could take it. I was afraid of how attached I was becomin' to you - freaked me out and I knew you were gettin' attached to me."

He took a deep breath and gently caressed her hand with both of his.

"I thought about it - then I realized... I couldn't do that to ya... then I thought about that - hell, that little look ya gave me when we first arrived at the dam and Maria pulled ya away to go eat - splittin' us up - ain't ever gonna forget that look."

He sniffled again and rubbed his red, sore eyes, then paused once more and twiddled his fingers.

"Whether I would admit it or not... baby - you started chippin' away at my heart since day one."

He ran his hand through his hair then scratched the back of his head, still feeling awkward from opening himself up as such.

"I... I couldn't help it - ya just... ya managed to somehow wiggle your way into my heart kiddo."

He gulped, then prepped himself to finally say what he'd been wanting say deep down for so long, to say what he knew she had been yearning to hear all this time. He felt the words rise from his gut, into his throat then trickle into his mouth. His tongue twitched and his lips slightly trembled before opening them to speak.

"Ellie - baby girl... I - " He paused and took another deep breath. "I lo - "

"Da - daddy?" Ellie quietly peeped as he felt her tiny hand barely shift within his grasp.

His eyes widened with joy and tears of happiness and relief immediately began streaming down his cheeks. He snapped his head to the left to see her face, looking up at him with her barely opened eyes. He lunged forward, slid his hands underneath her back and pulled her close.

"Oh baby girl! Oh Christ... oh god! You're still with me - you're still here - I knew you'd come back," he said, his voice trailing off as he pressed his lips against her cheek, giving her another long, loving kiss and clutching her little frame to his chest.

"I..." She tried to speak, but as her mind was pulling herself back into consciousness, the cuts and bruises littering the surface of her face throbbed with horrible pain. She could feel every nerve ending in her face burn with discomfort. She started to cry and could only imagine what she now looked like after being beaten by Michelle.

"Daddy - I... agh - ahhh - it hurts..." she said with a quiet whimper, clenching her eyes shut as tears of her own rolled down her bruised cheeks.

"Shhhh - I know baby - I know - it's okay sweetie I'm here now - you're safe baby - you're always safe with me - always," he soothed.

She brought her arms up, wrapped them around his shoulder and nuzzled into the side of his neck as she began to sob. She was in so much pain and still felt utterly terrified as her tiny frame trembled with fear. However, her insides tickled with relief, knowing she was finally nestled in her favorite place in the world. No one could harm her whilst in the embrace of her father's arms, not even Michelle.

"It - it was Michelle - she - " she stuttered through her pained tears.

"Shhhh - sweetie I know - I've gotcha - it's over... it's all over - she's gone baby - she's never comin' back."

He could feel her chest convulsing with each intense sob as she cried in his arms. He clutched her even tighter and began to massage her back as he held the back of her head.

"I'm so sorry I - I didn't listen to ya before honey - I'm so god damn sorry... I shouldn't'a left ya - I never should'a done that," he said, kissing her again.

He held her tight in silence for minutes, allowing her damaged mind to calm itself down. She was finally within the safe, protective and loving confines of her father and her terrified shaking slowly faded as her frequent sobs eventually turned to muffled whimpers and sniffles. After feeling the tension ease from her muscles as he held her, he relaxed his as well, knowing she was finally coming down from her intense wave of anguish and despair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to feel each beat of her little heart against his chest as he slowly started rocking back and forth. He listened to every one of her short, pained breaths, feeling her chest expand and contract. The sound of life, still flowing through his little girl, sent a surge of happiness and relief through his heart.

"Oh honey - I knew I wouldn't lose ya - my tough little munchkin you," he said with a laugh through his tears of joy.

His statement miraculously pulled out the slightest, muffled laugh from Ellie. "You - you couldn't get rid of me even if you tried," she muttered. He remembered those were the exact words that came to his mind back in winter, when he held her while she recovered from the experience in that blazing restaurant. Her statement, for a split second, made him think he could finally come clean about his lie and that she wouldn't do something rash in response.

He let out another small laugh and pressed his nose into her hair, taking in its familiar scent. It would always remind him of her being close, soothing his soul with the knowledge that his daughter was safe in his arms.

"Is she... is she gone?" Ellie quietly asked, Joel feeling her quiver in fear once more at the thought of the wretched woman.

"Forever baby girl - forever. She's gone - I took care of it - I swear honey, she's never comin' back."

"She - she said horrible things... told me I was - I was never wanted and that - " Another lump formed in her throat as a few more tears built in her eyes. "That I wasn't really your daughter."

"Oh god baby - no... I told ya - don't let anyone ever convince ya of that, ever. You're my little baby - always - that ain't ever changin' - I swear, no matter what."

He managed to slightly turn his head and kiss her on the cheek once more, causing her mouth to barely give way to a smile. She tightened her grasp around his neck and continually pressed herself against him, yearning for his loving comfort.

"Don't let go - please... please," she pleaded.

"Shhh - shhh don't worry sweetie I wouldn't dream of it - I've gotcha - you're safe."

Her whimpering finally ceased, and she completely relaxed into his embrace, her breathing returning to a normal state. Turning his head to whisper in her ear, he spoke.

"Anything I can get ya? Anything at all - you haven't eaten yet - ya hungry?"

"I want chocolate," she said with a saddened tone.

"You want some hot chocolate? You got it honey - c'mon let's go get ya some."

He was intent on keeping his promise, he wasn't going to let her go and he picked her up as he rose to his feet.

"Wait - I... I hear people down there - who - who is that?" she said, her eyes suddenly widening again with another shot of fear.

"No - no baby - it's okay - it's okay - it's just Tommy and Maria - just them," he quickly spouted, trying to calm her back down.

"Unh-unh - unh-unh," she mumbled, shaking her head. "No one - I don't wanna be near anyone but you - please - I don't wanna," she begged.

The psychological damage Michelle inflicted on her young mind was now clearly evident to Joel. Tommy and Maria, people who she begun to trust and even become fond of, illogically scared her. His heart ached once again at the thought that his little girl was continually being battered and cruelly tortured by the scum of humanity that remained in this awful world. Each time he thought she was emerging from her cocoon, finally regaining a sense of independence, the powers at be simply said no and kicked her back down. It pained him knowing the world was treating her as such.

"Shhh okay - okay that's alright - you want me to go make you some?" he asked, knowing it would mean putting her down. He wasn't sure how badly she desired the tasty beverage.

"No! No! Don't leave - don't leave me! You promised - you promised!" she stammered. She squirmed and wiggled in his arms, trying to press herself even closer to him as she let out a scared, nervous little squeak.

"Oh baby girl - shhh - it's _okay_ \- it's _okay -_ c'mon ya know I won't - shhh... just didn't know how bad you wanted the stuff that's all."

"Not that bad," she said, closing her eyes and letting out an exhale in relief, knowing he really wasn't going to set her down.

He felt her tiny fingers grip around his sleeves and he eased his way onto the bed, lying down with his head propped up on the pair of pillows against the headboard. She remained in his embrace, lying on top of him, and he pulled her up closer so her head rested just beneath his chin. The tips of her hair from her pony tail tickled his neck, causing him to snicker and twitch in reaction.

"Wha - what's so funny?" she quietly murmured, nuzzling into his shirt.

"You're hair - tickled me kiddo - haha."

A muffled giggle escaped her lips. "Oh - it does that sometimes."

He was amazed. The fact that she was even able to break a smile, much less even laugh shocked him. She really was tough, and it was clear who's child she was and who raised her. She was his. He raised her more than anyone else ever had, and she was just as much a part of him as he was of her. He let out a deep breath and gently stroked her hair, enjoying another tender moment between them.

"How you doin' honey?" he asked, reassuring her of his concern and care.

"I hurt - not gonna lie," she succinctly said after a sniffle.

"Ohhh my poor baby I bet - I know sweetie... I'm so sorry honey... I'm so god damn sorry... will ya ever forgive me?"

He felt her cheek slide up and down against his shirt as her pony tail tickled his neck once again, signaling a nodding yes.

"But - " She paused to let out a pained, light cough.

"But what?"

"I want you to sing."

"'Course baby girl - whadd'ya want me to sing?"

"You know what."

He snickered, kissed her on top of the head, just above the knot of her hair tie and began to quietly serenade her with the same song he'd sung so many times before.

His song for her, her song from him.

* * *

 **AN: Another emotional chapter... the past few have really taken a lot out of me, heh. One of things I struggled with here was the idea of Joel actually opening up. His character, especially in the game itself, is so closed off and reserved. He hardly shares his feelings in a compassionate way. Therefore, I really tried to make sure I did it in a manner that made sense in the context of his character. It may seem out of character, but I really tried my best to keep him _in_ character while really stretching the axes of his personality. I probably was pushing it, but I really felt like at some point, after living with Ellie for so long, he would eventually have to open up. Something like that is inevitable between father and daughter in my opinion.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Sorry for the delayed update... I really try to update every other day (though the last couple I think were daily... don't actually know how I managed to do that haha...) but this weekend was... weird. Struggled to find the time.**

 **I want to reiterate... I really am touched by the overwhelming feedback from everyone, it means so much to me. Thank you all very, very much. I'm also so glad people are enjoying this, I really had no idea how many would people would actually read it! So again, thank you all for reading and reviewing!**

 **Long one here, couldn't help it... the ideas and content just kept flowing.**

* * *

"And that's that - last page there kiddo."

"Aww man! What the hell? Did we really go through each one?" Ellie asked in earnest as she lifted her head from the pillow while lying on her side in bed, wrapped in the comforter.

"Yes ma'am - every one."

Ellie scrunched her face then let out a sigh. "Pfft - lame... well - "

Joel leaned back in his char that sat a mere foot from her.

"Well what?" he asked while stretching out his legs onto the edge of the mattress. Reaching his foot as far as he could, he poked the bulge in the comforter that was Ellie lying inside with his toes.

"Can you read the part about the bears again? I liked the bears... plllleeeaassee?" she asked, batting her eyes as a small smile stretched across her cut and bruised face.

"Ya liked the bears huh? Alright - alright... lemme find it - damn book is huge," he responded with a snicker.

"No shit - apparently there's a fuck ton of wildlife in Colorado... also - aren't we in Wyoming though?" she bluntly asked.

He rubbed the back of his head, trying to find a semi-logical answer to satisfy Ellie's implied curiosity. "Uhh... yeah - but Colorado ain't far - reckon if you're gonna have a book on Wyoming wildlife - guess ya should have one 'bout Colorado as well - I dunno."

"Bears! Bears! Bears!" Ellie stammered as she pulled the comforter up higher so only her little head was poking through the top.

"Haha - hang on - I'm workin' on it, Christ," he said with a small laugh.

As he flipped through the hundreds of pages of the book, she looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh of discomfort, still feeling pain throughout her face while her body made its attempt to heal.

"Well - when I asked you to read me a story... can't say I expected it to be some... giant - stupid sciency book about Colorado wildlife - but I liked the bears! Not the part with the plants though... that was boring - think I fell asleep actually," she said, turning her head back towards him with a renewed smile.

Her lips were still slightly swollen, but were nowhere near as puffy as they had been a few days ago, immediately following the aftermath of her physically and psychologically damning experience with Michelle.

Joel paused from sifting through the pages upon hearing her speak.

"Sciency? What - my little Ellie makin' up words now?" he asked with a playful smirk.

"What!? C'mon - sciency!? That's a word!... isn't it?" she blurted out, but her voice softening as she started to question herself.

"Reckon it ain't... but we can make it one - no one left on the planet to say otherwise," he said with a smile, reaching out and pinching her nose.

"Hah! Awesome - sciency. I like it," she responded pridefully.

"But - you gotta come up with the definition - your responsibility, get crackin' kiddo."

"Ugh - fine... did you find the bears yet?" she asked, leering at him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah - just... hang on I'm still workin' on it."

"Is it really that hard to find? I mean - I thought that whole part was like... three hundred fucking pages long," she said sarcastically.

"Tssht - you're cute," he muttered, still sifting through the book.

"Aha - here we are... found it. Alright - here we go."

Ellie wiggled her way even closer to the edge of the bed, eagerly listening to Joel read more from the book titled _Colorado Wildlife_.

A few days since she was brutally knocked unconscious by Michelle had gone by. She was healing relatively quickly, a product of her youthful body's ability to rapidly mend itself. The severe swelling across her face was gone, and she could now open both of her eyes without any pain or trouble. The cuts along her face were already beginning to scab and the bruises started to change color. That first night, after Joel sang to her while he lovingly held her little frame close to him, she slept in that exact position. He waited to fall asleep until he could hear her lightly snoring and feel the repetitive pattern of her chest rising and falling with each of her pained breaths. During that night, it took him for what felt like an eternity to fall asleep. He lay awake, staring up at the ceiling, softly stroking her auburn hair as he relished the fact that his little girl was still alive and breathing, safely clutched in his arms and protected from the horrors of the world. He thought about all of the pain she had endured throughout her short life, bringing tears to his eyes. Before he finally fell asleep, he kissed her once more and whispered into her ear, assuring her again that she would never, ever, be alone. And that she was, and always would be, his daughter, his precious, little girl. Much like the morning when he awoke from his brush with death, Tommy and Maria came up stairs to check on them. Yet, like then, as they opened the door to see the wonderful sight of Ellie curled up and snuggled with him, Joel quietly motioned for them to leave not wanting them to wake her. At that point, he knew she remained terrified of anyone that wasn't him.

That morning, she refused to remove herself from his embrace and get out of bed. Her only desire was to remain cuddled in his arms and under the covers. Eventually, during the night, Joel cautiously shifted himself so he could lie on his side. Though he never once let go of her and continued to tightly hold her between his arms and torso while her head rested just beneath his chin. He felt every breath that escaped her nose softly rush against his neck as she slept, assuring him the gift of life still flowed through her. When she awoke, he felt her head slightly shift, but also felt her nuzzle even closer into him, refusing to leave his tender embrace. She was safe there, protected from the awful world outside and simply had zero desire to leave. They lay there for hours, until it was no longer early morning and instead nearly late afternoon. He continually pecked the bridge of her nose, cheeks and forehead with paternal kisses hoping it would hasten her recovery, causing her stomach to tickle with the feeling of being undeniably safe, protected, cared for, and most of all, loved after each one. Eventually, Joel had to use the bathroom. He waited as long as he could, until his bladder was on the verge of bursting. However, when he tried to slowly and carefully remove himself from the covers, he felt her tug on his sleeve and could see her slowly shake her head, refusing to let him go. She insisted he take her with him, even to the bathroom. He would pick her up and carry her down the hall then gently set her down outside the door, always whistling so she knew his presence was there. The first time, after picking her up again, he turned to go downstairs, thinking it was finally time to leave the confines of the sheets and covers she so desperately wanted to remain in. It was, however, to no avail, and immediately when she sensed they weren't returning to her cocoon, a nervous look filled her eyes and she wriggled and squirmed in his arms while letting out her familiar scared little squeak like she did before. That sound and the sight of her frantically pulling on his shirt, urging him to turnaround, tugged at his heart. He couldn't refuse her, and instead made his way back to the bedroom, calmly soothing her each step of the way.

They spent the entire morning and afternoon lying under the covers as Joel continually told her stories from the old world. He never once let go, and each time she felt his grip slightly loosen she would try to wiggle even closer to him while placing her small hand over his, pressing it onto her stomach, imploring him to keep her tight in his arms. In reality, she hated being babied. Around anyone else, she exuded her strong, independent and even slightly cocky personality, portraying herself every bit as confident as any of the adults in Jackson. Yet, in the lone presence of Joel, she let her inhibitions go, completely giving into her inner vulnerabilities and desire to simply be nurtured and loved. It was something that still felt new, never having the chance to fully experience just being a child, and when it came to receiving affection from her father, she couldn't get enough of it. It wasn't until early in the evening that she was finally okay with leaving the safe confines of his arms. Inevitably, both of their stomachs growled for food, having not eaten in nearly twenty-four hours. It was then that she would jump on his back for a piggy back ride before they made their way downstairs to satisfy their angry stomachs, keeping physical contact with him every chance she could. Once they finished eating though, she insisted on returning upstairs to her protective cocoon.

Another night passed and dawn arrived again, bringing light to a new day. It wasn't until then that she finally began talking and returned to a semi-normal mental state. She wanted to remain under the covers for just one more day, but was now okay with him getting up and walking about. Eventually, she was comfortable with him going downstairs to fetch food and water, but only if he promised to be gone no more than a few minutes. If he hadn't returned by a mere two or three minutes, she called his name, yearning to hear him respond, assuring her he was still there. It was now, that she wanted him to read a story to distract her mind from the throbbing, collective ache that effused from her cuts and bruises. Unfortunately, the only books he could find sat on a shelf near the bedroom window. There were only a few, all of which were travel guides and wildlife books of the scientific kind. He knew she loved animals, which is what lead them to this moment, him reading to her about the various critters that inhabited the surrounding region.

"Alright - there ya have it - now you're the best damn expert on bears around," he said with a snicker.

"Man - they sound so bad ass. Have you ever seen one?"

"Nah - they ain't around in Texas... we had nothin' but mostly cattle and horses."

"Oh," she succinctly responded with a hint of disappointment.

She sighed then winced in discomfort again, feeling the dull ache from her bruises. It pulled an empathetic look from Joel and he leaned forward, reaching out his hand.

"C'mere - lemme have a look at ya."

Pulling her head further out from the covers, she sheepishly smiled then sniffled as her eyes barely started to water. Feeling his tender touch over her injuries reminded her of the mental damage and trauma from the other day. But her heart fluttered knowing how much he cared, knowing that even though he had yet to say it, he loved her.

"Awww - honey... you're lookin' better though - gettin' there," he softly said, letting the gentle touch of his callused hand linger on her cheek. "Still hurts?"

"A little - yeah," she quietly murmured with a nod.

"I know - I bet... my poor girl," he said gently as he cupped her cheek with the palm of his hand.

He was the only person she would let even remotely touch her. Being in her most vulnerable state, she quivered at the thought of anyone getting near her. This man, who at one point was a hunter, whom she'd seen perform some of the most violent acts, who could crush the life out of her at any moment, was the most affectionate and loving figure in her life. She understood, long ago, he would never, ever harm her, and she reveled being in his gentle protection.

Finally, a spark of childlike playfulness managed to flicker from within. She slightly turned her head and softly bit his hand, letting out a muffled growl in the process. The action brought a humongous smile to his face as he was thrilled to actually see her coming back to life, to finally see his little girl re-emerge from her shell.

"Oh - this again huh? Ya know what's gonna happen... I always win here," he said as he carefully shook his hand, feeling her little teeth latch onto him.

She let out another playful growl, this time lifting her lips and exposing her teeth. Despite his warning, she persisted. She knew he was right, she knew what was going to happen, but didn't care one bit.

"Ohhhh so scary - gettin' serious are ya?"

He lunged forward, gently sliding his hands underneath her shoulders and pressed his nose into the base of her neck, letting out a roar.

"Om - nom - nom - nom - nom!" he spouted, tickling her with his beard.

She couldn't help it, she squealed then started to laugh and began kicking her legs beneath the comforter in reaction.

"Ahhhh! Hahaha - oh god - oh god - hahaha!" she stammered, trying to hold out longer than last time.

Flailing her arms against his, she wriggled around trying to withstand his persistent tickling.

"Nom - nom - nom!" he continued.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and let out another laugh.

"Eeeeek! Okay - okay - I give up! I yield! I yield! Stop hahaha - stop!"

Immediately he obeyed and pulled himself away. "See - I always win," he said with a smile, pinching her nose again.

"Pssht - whatever! You're like ten times my size - it's not fair!"

"Not my fault you're tiny," he said with a wink.

His statement caused her to frown and sigh. "I know... I'm never gonna grow."

"Ohhh sweetie - yes ya will. Everyone always does - reckon ya just gotta give it time. 'Sides, you grow - I won't be givin' ya piggy back rides anymore, remember?"

The frown upon her lips inverted as they gave way to a smile. "Hmm... " she said, squinting her eyes. "Okay - fine, guess I'm okay with it."

He smiled, then gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Read me another one - pllleeeeasssee? Just one more - I swear."

After letting out a sigh he ran his hands through his hair. "Alright - if ya insist. Reckon all we got left though is some uhh... guidebook to state parks or some crap."

She scrunched her face in response. "Oh - well shit... looks like we're getting into some heavy stuff now - c'mon open that bad boy up what're you -"

Suddenly, a voice echoed from the doorway, interrupting their conversation. They both snapped their heads around to see who the intruder was, to see who had the brazen nerve to step into their home completely uninvited.

It was Sean.

"Hey guys - I heard about what happened and... and I wanted to come make sure Ellie was okay. Door was unlocked... just let myself in."

"I see that - the hell is wrong with you son? You always just walk into people's houses like that?"

"Relax old man... this isn't the old world - people trust each other these days."

The overwhelming absurdity and falseness of that statement sent a ripple of disgust through both Joel and Ellie.

As Sean slowly approached the bed, Joel looked down to see Ellie nervously shaking and frantically shifting herself away from him and closer and closer to the edge of the mattress. Their eyes met, and he instantly saw the level of panic and fear that vigorously coursed through her. Her eyes began to swell with tears, and she shook her head, pleading for him to keep the young man away. It was at this moment, that he understood exactly what transpired the night she came running home, crying and petrified after seeing Sean. No words needed to be spoken, he knew, without a doubt, what this young man tried to do to his little girl. Sean had just turned twenty, whereas Ellie was still fourteen. His actions weren't just attempted rape, they were attempted sexual assault and abuse of a child. Joel had to be smart about his next move though, Sean could outrun him at any time given the fact he walked with a limp. He simply rose a finger to his lips and nodded to Ellie, assuring her with his expression that everything was going to be okay. He was going to take care of her, take care of everything, she just had to trust him.

He began to round his way to the other side of the bed, approaching Sean as the young man was now merely feet away.

"You wanna say hi? I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Ellie, you wanna say hello?" he said, while softly placing his hand on Sean's shoulder then pivoting behind him.

"Hey Ell - oh shit!" Sean gasped.

Joel grabbed him by the shoulders and kicked him in the back of the knees, sending him to floor.

"What the hell! ... Fuck Joel! What the hell are you - "

Before he could finish his cry, Joel pulled Sean's arms back and slammed his knee into the back of his head, crushing his face into the hardwood floor. Ellie turned herself over and sat up against the headboard as she pulled her legs into her chest. She watched the entire spectacle in a combination of terror and undeniable satisfaction.

Joel grabbed him by the hair then slammed his face into the bed post, causing blood to shoot from his nose.

"Aggh - fucking - sto - "

His pleading wasn't going to work and Joel lifted him by the shirt, dragged him to the dresser then set him down against it. He knelt down and socked Sean in the jaw with his fist as hard as he could, breaking a few teeth in the process.

"Ahhh fuck!" he screamed.

Joel swung again, this time hitting him in the eye, causing his vision to blur.

"Stop! Please stop! Fucking stop! Why - why - why!?" he began to shout in pain and fear, raising his hands to protect his face from Joel's vicious blows.

Tears began to emerge from Ellie's eyes and she lunged forward screaming her response before Joel could. "You fucking know why! You know! You fucking ass hole!"

She began to whimper and cry, as the feelings that Sean previously evoked were climbing their way into her mind once again.

"I told you to stay the fuck away!" she belted out through her tears of anger.

Joel swung again, hitting him in the nose and causing more blood to spurt onto the floor. He threw Sean's head down, grabbed him by the arms and dragged him towards the edge of the bed. Kneeling to ear level, he angrily and sternly spoke to the young man.

"Listen here son - I know exactly what you did. I warned ya didn't I? I told ya what would happen right?"

"Like hell you did," Sean muttered, lifting his head as a combination of spit and blood dripped from his lower lip.

Joel gritted his teeth then hit him on the back of the head. "Get up! Get to your goddamn knees!" Joel yelled.

Sean slowly lifted his head, only to see Ellie staring at him in furious anger with tears running down her cheeks. Just as Joel leaned down to sneer his next words into his ear, the young man shot his elbow up, striking Joel in the jaw and knocking him backwards.

Joel recoiled and let out a yell of discomfort. "Ack - shit!"

However, his delay, even if only slight, gave Sean just enough time to jump to his feet and strike him again. He managed to trip Joel, sending him to his back onto the floor. Sean kicked him in the stomach, then in the side of his leg where his healing wound still remained. That sent a spike of pain through Joel. He cringed, and let out a yell of agony as Sean's foot dug into the tender scar tissue under the surface of his skin.

Ellie watched in horror realizing Joel somehow ended up on his back, vulnerable and getting kicked and beaten. Lunging to his side of the bed, she ripped open his nightstand drawer and grabbed the revolver inside. As usual, it was already loaded, unlike how he used to store it before the outbreak.

"You're right old man - I do know exactly what I did," Sean yelled while kicking him again.

"I was gonna enjoy every second of it too," he kicked him again.

Ellie, with her hands shaking and trembling with anger, rage and despair from Sean's words, pulled the hammer back on the revolver and took aim at his back.

"I was gonna make her want it - I was gonna fuck her 'til she - "

 _Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_ "Aaaahhhhhhh! Fucking die! Die! Die! Die! I hate you! I fucking hate you!" Ellie screamed with tears rolling down her cheeks while unloading four rounds into the young man's back, saving herself from the mental torture of his next bone chilling statement.

She let out a sob and could feel the touch of the cold metal of the revolver against her trembling hands. A small trickle of smoke plumed from the tip of the barrel, immediately reminding her of what she'd just done. She threw the gun aside and buried her face into her hands while she cried. Joel, thankful for Ellie once again rescuing him, though he was angry with himself for letting Sean even put him in that position, immediately jumped into paternal mode. He could only imagine what kind of emotions and thoughts were racing through Ellie's mind as she unloaded those hate-filled rounds into another monster that spawned from the same plane of existence as David. He quickly rose to his feet then dragged Sean's lifeless body away and threw it down the steps. Ellie could hear it tumble, roll and crash to the first floor. It was over, it was finally done. A sense of fear lurked in the back of her mind though, unsure of what would happen to them if anyone were to discover what they'd done. Surely, someone would. At the very least the young man's father, as dismissive and irresponsible he may be, would eventually find out.

She sat in silence, yearning for Joel to immediately come back through the door and pull her into his arms. Every second he wasn't there felt like an eternity. She needed him. Finally, he came bursting through the doorway in a frantic state and ran to her then crawled onto the mattress, tears in his eyes. She twitched her head up, returning his gaze with hers as she remained in silence. A few seconds passed, and she couldn't hold it back any longer. Her lips trembled, and she let out a short sob and finally spoke.

"He tried to - " she said, diving into his arms.

"Shhh - I know baby - I know. It's okay - it's okay now - he ain't gonna hurt ya again," he soothed.

It felt eerily familiar, and it was as if the entire room which currently encased them temporarily shifted forms. Turning into the blazing inferno that was the restaurant with David's mutilated corpse lying on the floor as Ellie cried in his arms after saying those exact same words.

He felt her grip his sleeves and nuzzle her nose into his neck as she sniffled. Her touch reminding him that even now, he still needed her.

He held her in silence for minutes, massaging her back waiting for her and himself to calm down. The intensity of his feelings overcame him with emotion as well, and once it was all said and done, he couldn't help but cry once he got his arms around his little girl. He felt her grip loosen, and he pulled his head away to look at her.

"I ain't ever lettin' anyone do that to ya - ever. Ever," he said, gently grabbing both sides of her head.

She nodded and reached her tiny hand up, touching his. "I know."

"But... what - what do we do now!? About Sean!? About... everything! Michelle she - she somehow knew I'm infected! And... what if she told someone else! And then -" The words rapidly spouting from her lips in a nervous and panicked manner.

"Shh - shh - baby, baby - it's okay - it's _okay_. We'll figure it out honey - don't worry - I've gotcha - always. Long as I'm here - you got nothin' to be afraid of. Nothin'."

Somehow, those words, _I've gotcha_ , made up the most assuring statement he could have said. A strong feeling of being protected and nurtured filled her stomach, his soothing response calming her. She took a deep breath, feeling safe in his strong but gentle grip around her cheeks and stared into his eyes.

"Thank you," she muttered, her stare never breaking from his. "For everything."

A large smile engulfed his face and he gently ran the side of his finger down her cheek, adoring his daughter without saying a word in response. He wiped a tear from the tip of her nose with his thumb then kissed her on the forehead. At that moment, his tender, paternal affection and piercing gaze said it all. No words were needed, and it confirmed within her, that he did, without question, love her with every ounce of his soul.

Suddenly, an epic and boisterous growl from Ellie's stomach broke the silence of the tender moment between them. Both of them let out awkward laughs as they wiped away the remaining tears from their eyes.

"Guess that's happening now..." Ellie said with a shy smile.

"Whadd'ya want?"

"You know..." she replied sheepishly.

Joel sighed and rubbed his face. "More chocolate huh? Tssht - that ain't actual food - ya know that right?"

She sunk her posture back so she was resting on her elbow. "Pfft! Says who!?"

"Alright - alright... Christ - chocolate it is then. First let me deal with the uhh..."

"Yeah - yeah I know..."

"You gonna be okay for a few minutes by yourself? Or you wanna come with me? I'm just gonna wrap him in an old sheet - probably throw him in the shed in the backyard for now 'til we figure something else out."

She hated the thought of being left alone, being away from him, even if it were only for a few minutes, but not a single part of her wanted to see Sean again. Even if it was only his lifeless body staring up at the ceiling with an empty gaze.

She sighed then pulled her knees to her chest. "I'll... I'll be alright - just... please be quick."

"I will I promise - I'll come get ya right when I'm done - I swear."

* * *

It was later in the evening and Ellie was curled up on the couch under a blanket napping. Joel watched her furiously consume her favorite beverage in a matter of minutes and the combination of a belly full of warm liquid and the exhausting events from earlier caused her to pass out rather quickly. He just finished cleaning up the kitchen and looked over to see her little self peacefully sleeping, the sight sending a tickle of warmth through his heart. He reached for the two-way radio they always kept nearby, in case reaching Tommy or Maria was an urgent need. Now was one of those times.

"Tommy - hey Tommy... Joel here - come in."

After a few seconds of silence, the radio crackled and from the other end he could hear Tommy's voice.

"Yeah - I'm here... what's up? Everything okay?"

"Tommy - I... I need to talk to you and Maria. It's urgent - can ya just get here quick please?"

The radio crackled again as static shot through the speaker.

"Uhhh yeah - yeah... we'll be there in a bit."

Joel set the radio down and took a deep breath, then heard Ellie shifting on the couch behind him. He turned around to see her yawn and rub her eyes.

"Who - who was that?" she asked, stretching her arms out.

"Tommy - need to talk to him and Maria about uhh..."

"Yeah - say no more," she said, rising to a sitting position still wrapped in the blanket.

Joel rose from the table and sat next to her on the couch.

"How ya doin'? You okay?" he asked with care.

"Good as I can be I guess... I'm sore though - and still tired."

"Reckon ya will be for another day or so."

Joel scratched his beard and felt Ellie sidle up next to him.

"Hey - I got an idea. C'mere..." he said, scooping her up and rising to his feet.

"Eek! Ah - where - what're we doing?"

"Shh - surprise. Close your eyes an' cover your ears. Don't open 'em 'til I say alright?"

She obeyed, but felt a smile stretch across her lips. He rounded the corner of the stairwell and made his way to the second floor.

"Hmmm - okay... going back upstairs now... umm... you're gonna read the last book to me! The park one!" she playfully said with her eyes still shut and her hands over ears while lying in his arms.

"Please... way better than... some book on state parks. The hell kinda dad you think I am?"

Ellie laughed, she could still manage to hear his muffled voice. "I dunno! I have no idea where the fuck you're taking me!" she stammered in a joking tone.

Joel sighed and reached the top of the stairs. "Whatever am I gonna do with you."

The words that Ellie previously used in response to that remark shot to the front of her mind, only this time she kept them inside.

"Okay... feels like you went straight... we're going back into your room... oh no - are... are you gonna eat me? Have you finally turned!? Have I infected you!?" she asked in a playful manner as she tilted her head to face him, still keeping her eyes closed. "That's it isn't it!? Oh my god it all makes sense now! I'm on to you mister," she said before sticking out her tongue.

"Nah - you're too bony. 'Sides... would have to marinate ya first."

"Umm... what the fuck is a 'marinate'?" she asked, her expression shifting to a perplexed look.

Joel let out a boisterous laugh. "You're adorable." He gently set her down on the bed then began to pull away. "Wait here - I'll -

"No - don't!" she stammered with a sudden change of tone in her voice as it shifted from lighthearted fun to panic. She didn't want to him leave.

"I'm just goin' down the hall - be back in two seconds."

"Uggh - fine... I'm timing you though... one one-thousand...!" she exclaimed while lying on her back with her eyes closed and her ears still covered.

He turned around, ran out of the bedroom and hastily made his way into the bathroom.

"Two one-thousand!" she yelled from down the hall, purposely elongating each vocal count.

He turned the faucet over the bathtub and within seconds warm water began pooling at the base.

"Three one-thousand - four one-thousand - five one-thousand!"

After quickly putting in some soap, he dashed back into the bedroom and slid his hands under her back.

"I counted... that was more like five seconds, not two," she said, feeling herself rise into his arms again.

He slowly leaned his head down and pressed his lips to the bridge of her nose. "Shhhhh."

She couldn't help but feel a massive smile pull her cheeks up in reaction to his calm, loving response. And as he carried her to the bathroom, the muffled sound of running water into the tub made its way through her hands and into her ears. She let out a squeak of excitement knowing what awaited her.

"'Kay - open 'em up!"

She pulled her hands away from her ears and snapped opened her eyes. The thought of a bath tickled her every nerve and she eagerly anticipated the feeling of her muscles relaxing from the soothing sensation of the warm water.

"There's bubbles too!" she exclaimed with a gasp.

"'Course there is - I ain't some amateur," he responded playfully.

He carefully set her down on the floor and against the tub then slowly turned around to awkwardly shuffle his way towards the door. He knew he would have to leave, to give her privacy, but also knew she wouldn't like it. And, just as he thought, he heard an anxious protest just as he stepped through the doorway.

"What!? No! Don't... don't leave - please!" she said, looking back at him with her bright, emerald eyes that were beginning to water.

"Ellie - ya need priv - "

"No! Stop! Joel... I'm your fucking daughter. It's okay - you're so... uggh," she stammered, insisting he stay with her.

"I'm so what?"

"Stubborn... I guess - just... will you come back here? Plllleeaassee?" she pleaded.

He sighed, ran his hand through his hair, uneasy with the idea. "Alright... fine - only cause ya asked," he responded, then lowered himself to the floor at the end of the tub.

It was almost full and a thick layer of soap bubbles stretched over the surface of the water. Steam rose into the air, fogging the mirror and causing condensation to drip from the window sill that was adjacent to the tub. Joel leaned forward, reached for the faucet and turned it off.

"Alright - I won't look - go on then," he said, closing his eyes, still uncomfortable with the fact that he was even in here with her.

Ellie quickly undressed and threw her clothes aside at Joel's feet. She dipped her toes in and let out a squeak.

"Eeeek! Oh shit - that's hot."

"Careful now..." Joel said with a snicker.

She carefully lowered herself in, feeling the tension and soreness ease from her muscles every inch of the way down. Joel could hear her splashing about as she encased herself in the combination of hot water and bubbles.

"Ahhhhh - oh my god this so awesome!" she said with an overly loud and exaggerated drawn out display of relief.

He opened his eyes, only to see all of her clothes on the floor at his feet. A reminder to himself that he was indeed uncomfortable being present. He let out a sigh, then leaned his back against the tub and stared at the ceiling. Ellie continued to splash about, then scooped up a handful of bubbles and placed them over her nose.

"Haha hey! Look! Dad - look!" she said, urging him to turn around.

"What? Are - are you serious? I - ... no. Just enjoy yourself kiddo - I'll be right here, promise," he responded, refusing to take this next step in their familial relationship. Ellie took the step minutes ago, and was now, metaphorically, turned around and waiting for him to take it as well.

To her, he was the only person in the world she felt completely safe, even one-hundred percent comfortable around. His presence, even in her current, undressed state in the bathtub, didn't bother her at all. It actually felt completely natural, not a single feeling of awkwardness fluttered through her.

"Ugghh - oh my god... Joel... you're _my dad._ It's okay - the world isn't gonna fucking explode if you look at me right now."

"Ellie - no... I just don't - "

She dropped her hands from the edge of the tub and slammed them down underwater, interrupting him before he could finish his protest.

"You're my dad - and you said - you said..." She gulped and felt a lump form in her throat, feeling as if he were denying her another tender moment that would only strengthen their bond, as if he were somehow still trying to keep a distance from her. "You said I was your... _your_ daughter - always," she slowly said, following it with a sniffle as her eyes once again began to water.

Her words cut straight through him and they slowly pulled his head around, like a fishing line drawing in its latest catch. He rose to his knees at the edge of the tub so he was kneeling next to her at eye level. There she was, his daughter, his little girl, dripping wet with a goofy ball of bubbles resting on the tip of her nose. The thick layer of the stuff on the surface of the water encased her, and all he could see was from just below her shoulders and above. Water dripped from her pony tail and chin while she stared at him, waiting for him to speak. She was right, the world didn't explode, and he couldn't help but smile as he saw her still bruised, but adorable face light up when his eyes met hers. He could sense the relief behind her eyes that glistened with the building of tears, knowing that he didn't push her away when she yearned for their relationship to take another forward step. Like it always had been, she was the one melting away another sliver of ice that still gripped the edges of his heart. Making him realize even more, how thankful he was to have this feeling again, to have a daughter again, to have _purpose_ again. However, he could now also see the dark bruises around her arms, just below her shoulders where Michelle gripped and violently shook her.

"Ohhh honey," he softly said while examining them.

"Oh... yeah - you... you haven't seen those yet," she sheepishly replied.

Ellie brought her hands to the surface then placed them on the edge of the tub, slightly splashing Joel's sleeve in the process. He held her eye contact, then sneakily reached his hand into the water and splashed her in the face, washing away the bubbles from her chin and nose. She flinched and shrieked in surprise then leaned away as she wiped the water from her eyes.

"Hah - too slow kiddo."

"Pssht - oh yeah?"

She violently slammed the palm of her hand down, sending a big splash in his direction. It caught him by surprise, soaking the front of his shirt.

"Agh - hey! Really now?" he said in reaction.

"Haha yep! Too slow my ass!" she responded.

Joel quickly threw both hands in the tub and pushed a massive wave in her direction, soaking her face and hair, causing her to squeal.

"C'mon - you gotta duck! Go under!" he said playfully.

Ellie splashed him again then grabbed another handful of bubbles and lunged forward, pasting them across the front of his mouth and beard.

"Hahaha! You gotta duck!" she responded coyly.

Joel leaned his head back and blew a shot of air from his lips, trying to blow the bubbles from his face, still hearing Ellie laughing.

"Ahhhh hell! Yeah, yeah, yeah... alright - ya got me."

"You look like... you have fucking rabies or something haha!" she playfully said with a giggle.

Joel snickered as he wiped away the bubbles from his face. He was appreciating this tender moment between father and daughter, knowing carefree enjoyment like this was a rarity in what remained of the broken world they lived in. Whether he would admit or not, he relished the fact that Ellie once again chipped away at another frozen piece of his heart, easing away the uncomfortable feeling he had earlier. It was just as it always had been, she was the one who had him hooked since day one, like he said. She had her hook latched into him since they first met back in Boston, and ever since then she was slowly but surely reeling him in, one careful step at a time. She was resurrecting the humanity that died within him long ago. Then, a knock at the door rattled its way up the stairs. It was Tommy.

Her smile, and his, waned, knowing this moment came to a sudden end.

"That's Tommy... I gotta - "

Ellie dropped her hands back into the water and leaned her head back. She knew he had to leave to speak with Tommy, something she didn't like. However, the warmth of happiness that filled her from the previous few minutes actually made her feel okay about it. She reveled in the fact that she once again was able to fish out another new sliver of humanity that remained deep and buried in the depths of his heart. Knowing that no matter how dead inside he became over the past twenty years, she was slowly bringing him back to life. Because of this, she was re-emerging from her shell and could actively feel her emotional wounds healing.

She smiled, reached behind her head and squeezed the water from her pony tail. "I know - I'll..." She took a deep breath, preparing herself to finally part from him for an extended period of time, even though he was only going downstairs. "I'll be here."

Seeing her reaction surprised him, he was taken aback and couldn't help but smile himself, knowing his little girl was finally recovering from the severe emotional trauma she had been inflicted with.

"Alright - you holler if ya need anything at all 'kay?"

"Mmhmm," she said with a nod.

She carefully watched his every step as he strolled out of the bathroom and into the hallway. For the first time in as long as she could remember, the sight of him walking away didn't pull tears from her eyes and instead she felt a sense of calm and happiness rush through her. Despite him not giving his usual assurance that he wouldn't be long, or that he wasn't going anywhere, she understood and fully trusted that he wasn't going to leave her. She leaned her head back, closed her eyes and smiled feeling the warm water that encased her.

Even though right now, physically, she was, she wasn't alone. She knew he would never leave her and most of all, she knew this: he loved her.


	15. Chapter 15

Tommy knocked on the door again, pulling an annoyed sigh from Joel. Though, a smile still remained across his face from the earlier tender moment with Ellie.

"Hang on - hang on - I'm comin'."

After making his way downstairs he opened the door then invited Tommy and Maria inside.

"Thanks for gettin' here quick."

"'Course - you said it was urgent," Tommy replied.

"Yeah - is everything okay?" Maria asked.

"Why don't we sit down..." Joel said, motioning them over to the kitchen table.

"Okay... where's Ellie?" Tommy asked.

"Upstairs - she's takin' a bath... poor girl is still pretty sore."

"Ah... yeah - I bet... I still can't believe that - "

"I know - just... sit down please," Joel said, interrupting his brother in the process.

He was anxious, but also afraid to tell them the news. The unknown of their reaction after spilling the truth about Sean caused his stomach to tie in a knot. The three of them sat down at the table and Joel let out a deep breath as he rubbed his hands over his face.

"Well alright then - go on," Tommy implored.

Maria leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"Alright - you two remember that young man named uhh... Sean?"

Tommy laughed.

"Tssht - yeah, yeah we do. Boy's got problems if ya ask me."

"Isn't he friends with Ellie?" Maria ignorantly asked, clearly unaware, to no fault of her own, of the situation at hand.

Her question sent a chill up Joel's spine. Just thinking about Sean being near Ellie made him sick. Imagining what he tried to do to her, what caused her to scamper home as fast as she could with tears running down her cheeks made him cringe despite knowing the young man could never hurt her again.

"Well he ain't no more."

Joel was of course aware that Ellie was technically responsible for killing Sean, not him, but he would never admit that to anyone, ever. Protecting her, like always, was still his number one priority. A silence fell between the three of them as Tommy and Maria shot each other a nervous, wary glance.

"Joel..." Tommy started.

"Just - listen..." Joel said.

"We are - that's what we're doin' goddammit now spit it out."

Joel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing what he was about to say.

"He's dead."

"What!? How!?" Maria exclaimed.

Tommy's eyes widened, he didn't need to hear Joel's explanation. Somehow a part of him already knew exactly how Sean perished. By the hands and fury of his older brother, Joel.

"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" Joel vehemently implored through a whisper. He didn't want the conversation to trickle its way up the stairwell, reaching Ellie's ears and her current fragile mental state.

"He tried to..." He paused, looked behind and over his shoulder, paranoid that she was standing nearby.

"He hurt Ellie - bad."

"What you mean bad? What... worse than Michelle?" Tommy asked in confusion.

"'Bout that... we'll get to that - somethin' else we gotta discuss but... one thing at a time."

Maria took a deep breath and adjusted her posture. She sensed the conversation took a serious a turn and gave Joel her undivided attention.

"He hurt her... did somethin' no one should ever do to a little girl."

Maria cleared her throat then leaned forward, praying that the suspicions in her head were wrong. "Joel - what'd he do?"

Joel slowly lifted his eyes up and met her gaze, holding eye contact in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"Oh god...no... no... he - he couldn't have. Are - are... please tell me you're not fucking serious!?" Maria exclaimed, realizing what Joel was implying.

Tears formed in his eyes and she could see the look of pain and guilt on his face from across the table. For the most part, his expression told her everything, she knew what happened.

Tommy, still confused and not privy to the subtle form of communication between his wife and brother, butted in.

"The hell you two talkin' about - seriously what is goin' on?"

Maria turned and put her arm on Tommy's. "Sean - he... he tried to - ya know..."

"No! I don't know - spill the beans already for cryin' out loud," Tommy said, frustrated with both of them.

"Shh! I said keep it down - c'mon," Joel once again implored, raising his index finger to his lips.

Maria paused, looked at Joel for one more piece of information, crucial to understanding the gravity and weight of the situation.

"Did - did he try? Or did it... did it actually happen?" she asked.

Joel cleared his throat then felt his voice quiver as a lump formed inside. "Tried - he tried. Ellie fought him like hell - my tough little girl," he said, wiping the forming tears from his eyes.

She turned back to Tommy. "Tommy - he tried to rape her."

Tommy's eyes widened and he twitched back in his chair. "Ohh... Christ." He brought a hand to his brow. "Fuckin'... man that's... she's just a kid. A grown one at that - but still just a kid."

All of a sudden, a sinking feeling engulfed Tommy. He didn't need more information to confirm or deny the suspicion within him. Joel murdered Sean, without question. He angrily lurched forward from his sitting posture and pointed at Joel.

"Joel - you..." His voice started to raise, but Joel's eyes became increasingly more intense, causing him to bring it back down.

"What he did was... awful, terrible, inexcusable, but - this ain't the wild west. Ya can't just go 'round exacting your own form of... of vigilante justice for Christ sake - the hell is wrong with you?"

That word, justice, it caused the veins in his head to bulge with frustration and anger.

"Justice? You wanna talk about justice!?" Joel snapped, gritting his teeth. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Sarah - died in my arms... you an' I both watched her breathe her last breath 'cause some fuck head who was supposed to protect us chose to shoot her instead. For what? Goddamn nothin'. Nothin'!" he growled, his voice beginning to rise. "There ain't been a drop of justice in the whole damn world since then. Where was justice when - " He stopped himself.

He thought about finding Ellie, his little girl, emotionally and psychologically broken into pieces while kneeling above David's body, wildly hacking away at it with a machete. There was no justice then, there was nothing, no one to say right or wrong to David's actions. The only justice the two of them had were the actions of themselves. Nothing more.

"Yeah - when...?" Tommy leaned in, waiting for Joel to finish.

Joel rattled himself out of his thoughts and continued. "I mean... their ain't fine lines between right or wrong anymore. After all those years... when I took care of us - when it was just you an' me - how in the hell can you think otherwise? You remember don't ya!?" Joel's voice began to rise again.

Tommy closed his eyes and shook is head, trying to rid himself of the dark memories that were now percolating in his mind. Memories that when uncovered, dug at an old wound that had been kept under wraps for years.

Joel glanced his eyes at both Maria and his brother.

"There ain't such thing as justice anymore. It's on us - on you. And right now... my daughter is all that matters. I didn't kill that boy because I thought it was just... tssht... I killed that boy because he tried to hurt - " His throat began to choke up and he took a deep breath to calm himself. "He tried to hurt Ellie in a way that... I reckon most kids don't come back from. I ain't ever lettin' anyone do that to her. Ever... poor girl's had enough pain for a whole lifetime - I'll be dammed if she has to endure anymore. Don't you sit there and preach to me about justice... Jesus boy, thought you knew me better than that."

Tommy sighed and scratched his face, realizing the undeniable truth behind his brother's words. He was right, there were no two ways about it. In this completely savage and broken world, the concept of societal law had vanquished. The line between what was right and wrong was entirely open to interpretation and at the discretion of each individual. Joel spoke one more time, slamming the nail in the coffin for his argument.

"Remember? What'd you an' I both say? Our cause is our family now. That's it, nothin' else. An' I'm tellin' you... I'd kill that boy a hundred times over if I had to - wouldn't even blink."

Joel's dead-serious stare rattled Tommy and Maria. They believed him and they knew he was right.

"And what about that boy's dad - his father? What we gonna tell him? Sean was his son - how you think he's gonna react? Just like you?"

Joel sighed and paused for a moment, understanding the irony behind Tommy's question. He sat in silence for a few seconds, deciding how to respond.

"I don't give a shit. Not one bit. You know when I start carin'? When he threatens my family - that includes you two. Beyond that - fuck 'im."

Maria ran a hand through her hair and spoke up. "I don't think he's even here... I heard he left to go... do something I don't remember - haven't seen him since."

"Well there ya go - don't even matter now," Joel said.

Tommy relaxed his posture and placed his foot up against the edge of the table. "Where's the body?"

"Threw it in the shed - was gonna burn it."

"Right... hell this is so fucked..." Tommy muttered, looking at Maria while he shook is head. "What you think of all this?"

Joel darted in before she could respond. "Maria - you... you of all people in this room should understand what kinda... affect Sean's actions could have on a little girl."

"The hell is that supposed to mean!?" Tommy interjected.

"Shhh! Calm the fuck down - I just mean... she's a woman - obviously."

Maria lifted her head and glanced her eyes back and forth at both of them then finally responded. "Joel's right. What Sean did is... inexplicable. Tommy - remember what they said about... ya know... people who did that to kids back before the outbreak?"

"No - what? Ya mean when they went to prison?"

"Yes. Murderers, kidnappers, robbers, serial killers... anything else you can think of - those were always considered better... less evil than people like Sean. People like Sean... scum of the earth. They didn't last long in prison - even though all the other's had fucked up moral compasses of their own, they knew at least _that_ was sick, _that_ was wrong. I'm afraid I have to agree with Joel here. Boy had it comin'."

Tommy sighed. "Yeah - yeah... guess you're right. 'Sides - like ya said, family first - can't argue with that. What you need from us?"

"Before we get to that... I gotta ask one last thing."

"Alright - shoot."

"Michelle..." Joel began.

"She's gone - gone for good," Tommy interrupted.

"You sure? You absolutely sure?" Joel asked, his tone becoming more serious by the second.

"I told her to pack her shit and get the hell outta here by midnight - haven't seen her since I threw her ass outta here."

Joel grunted and rubbed his brow. "Hang on... you didn't actually see her leave? You didn't watch her with your own goddamn eyes walk through that gate?"

Tommy was taken aback by his brother's implication, that he didn't trust him. "I - I... no I didn't but I just figured - "

"Goddammit Tommy. Knowing that woman... she's still here. And by the way - she somehow knows about Ellie's condition."

Maria suddenly jolted forward, in shock to hear Joel's words. "What!? How does she know!? We haven't said anything!"

"I don't know - but it don't matter. All I know is... we can't have it. For Ellie's sake and mine, she has to be gone. Period."

"But Joel..." Tommy began.

"No buts! End of story - we just can't have it," Joel stammered.

"Alright - the hell you thinkin'?" Tommy inquired.

"I need ya to deal with the body I got rottin' in our shed."

"Done. And you?"

"I'm goin' to Michelle's. Reckon I need to make sure that whole place is empty - barren - no sign of life."

"And if it's not?" Maria asked.

Joel cleared his throat while holding the eye contact between them. "You know what. Don't make me say it. I just... I need you to stay here with Ellie. Keep her company 'til I get back. I don't want her left here alone. Please?"

"Yeah - yeah I can do that. You got it."

"Alright - I'm'a go talk to her - Tommy just please do this for me," Joel said as he rose to his feet.

"It's fine. I got it - don't worry... just be careful over there will ya?"

Joel simply nodded then headed upstairs as Tommy walked outside to deal with Sean's body. Maria rested her head against the back of her chair and let out a deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation lingering in the air. She sat there twiddling her thumbs waiting for Joel to return from talking to Ellie.

"Ellie - sweetie!" Joel called out as he reached the top of the steps.

He peered into the bathroom only to find the tub empty and the water completely drained.

"Honey?" He heard no response. His heartbeat began to increase in frequency, the usual paranoia toying with his mind and emotions.

He continued down the hallway and into the bedroom. There she was, curled up in a tiny ball and lying on the bed, wrapped in her towel while lightly sleeping. Her damp hair created a small wet spot on the comforter and a slight trickle of drool dripped from her mouth, a sure sign she was in a deep, much needed sleep. Waking her wasn't something he desired, but he knew if he simply left without saying anything she would be irate. He walked over and quietly sat down next to her then gently brushed her hair with his fingers, causing her head to slightly shift. He leaned down and softly spoke into her ear.

"Sweetie - wake up," he said, after making a few kissing sounds with his lips.

She slowly fluttered her eyes open then turned her head to see his gruff face hovering just above her.

"Oh - hey... I fell asleep after I got out," she murmured with a smile.

"I see that. I know you're tired - glad ya fell asleep. Ya looked totally out but - I gotta go for a bit," he said softly.

Her eyes widened and he felt her hand grip around his fingers. "What!? No - where?"

He gently rubbed his thumb over her fingers which remained latched onto his. "Shhh - it's okay. Maria's gonna be here while I'm gone - she'll be with ya the whole time. Alright? She's... she's a good person Ellie. Could be good for ya to get to know her. I'll be back - I swear don't worry."

"Okay... but - where the hell are you going?" she tiredly asked as she lifted her head from the comforter, clearly displaying the damp circle imprinted on it from her hair.

"I'm..." He paused and exhaled. "I'm gonna go take care of us," he said while pushing her rebellious lock of hair behind her ear.

She looked him in the eyes and knew exactly what he meant, he didn't need to say more.

"Why don't you go back to sleep 'kay?" he said with a smile.

She simply nodded.

"Here - c'mere baby - let's get you comfy," he said with an inhale as he lifted her up, keeping her towel snugly wrapped around her.

After peeling the comforter back, he gently set her down so her head rested on the pillow, then pulled the blanket back over her. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into the pillow, reveling in his display of affection and comfort. He lowered his head and kissed her on the cheek.

"I won't be long."

As he started to walk away, she opened her eyes and felt her adrenaline level rise, knowing he was leaving for an extended period of time. This time, he wouldn't merely be downstairs. He would be gone, away from the house, like he was when Michelle attacked her. For some reason, a part of her worried that something was wrong, that something would go awry while he was gone.

"Hey dad."

He turned around and noticed her glistening emerald eyes staring back at him.

"Please be careful."

"I will - sleep tight."

* * *

The sun was just below the horizon, illuminating the sky with a pink and orange glow. The air was oddly cool for a summer night in July as Joel made his way to Michelle's house. His nerves tingled with anxiety, completely unsure of what the next hour would hold for him. The internal war that waged within him tore his mind in two. One half simply wished she was really gone, that he would knock on the door a few times only to have no one answer, and thus step into a barren house entirely void of life. The other half hoped she was still there. The thought of her still being alive, after what she'd done to Ellie, caused more anger and rage to burn in his gut. He clenched his fists and heard his knuckles crack as he approached the steps to her home. He knew which of the two scenarios he secretly wanted, though he wouldn't admit it.

He slowly approached the door, lifted his fist and knocked three times then took a massive deep breath, preparing himself for the next few minutes. There was no answer, not a sound echoed from within the house and all he could hear was a slight gust of wind blowing through the trees behind him. Part of his stomach churned, yet it was also relieved. He knocked once more, and again he heard nothing, receiving no response from the other side.

 _Guess she's really gone. Tommy was right._

The porch creaked and moaned from his boots as he slowly turned around and made his way to leave. Then, he heard the door squeak open behind him. All of his muscles tensed and he gritted his teeth, knowing exactly what he was about to do. A soft, muffled voice peeped behind him from behind the barely opened door.

"Who - who is it?" It was indeed Michelle's voice.

He turned around and rubbed the back of his head. "It's uhh... it's Joel."

He heard her gasp in fear and begin closing the door, causing him to scramble forward and reach his hand in, preventing her from closing it. "Wait! Wait! Just wait..." he stammered.

"What the fuck do you want?" she asked in anger.

"Look I... I came to make peace. I came to say... I'm sorry and..."

"And what?"

"And that you were right."

"Right about what?"

He gulped in anxiety, knowing he was about to lie through his teeth. He simply tried to envision himself playing poker and forcing a bluff to fool Tommy.

"I... I need you. Look - I'm... I'm so goddamn sorry."

"Joel - you nearly killed me you fucking maniac. Why in the hell would I let you come inside?"

"Look - if you don't ever wanna see my face again... I understand. But just please hear me out... there's some things I gotta say."

A long silence fell between them. All they could hear was the increasing intensity of each other's breathing. Then finally, Michelle gave in.

"Is that stupid fucking girl with you?"

Joel's insides cringed and twisted with anger hearing her say that, but he pushed his rage down knowing that for now, he had to remain calm.

"No - no it's... it's just me."

She pulled the door open, exposing her horribly disfigured face. Joel slightly winced at the sight and bit his lip, knowing he was the one who put her in such a state. He'd never nearly killed a woman before, but to him it didn't matter. This woman, this creature, did horrible things to his daughter, and for that, she was going to pay dearly.

"Fine. Come in."

"Thank you," he said with a sigh of relief.

She guided him to the kitchen table where she was previously sitting and drinking some tea. The house was a mess, random items and clutter littered the floor of the living room and kitchen. A chef's knife sat on the table near a cutting board covered in pieces of onion.

"You uhh... 'bout to eat or somethin'?" Joel asked.

"Yeah - was just about to get dinner started."

"I see. Well - I'll cut to the chase then."

They both sat down at the table, Michelle scooting her chair away from him.

"I don't even know what to say... I'm just - I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to - "

"It doesn't matter - we're through. You tried to fucking kill me."

Her statement, though true, angered him. She nearly killed Ellie, yet didn't seem to show one ounce of remorse from doing so. Again, he squelched his feelings, waiting for the right opportunity to pounce.

"I - I know... I want ya to know that's not me," Joel said. This time he was the one feigning a sense of concern and compassion, not her. The tables had turned. He was the deceiver, she was the deceived.

"I want us to get passed this... I would like us to be friends at least," Joel said, reaching his hand out to her leg, feeling her twitch in reaction.

"We'll work on it... slowly," she said.

"That's - that's fine."

They both took a deep breath and felt an awkward silence arrive. Michelle cleared her throat then fluffed up her hair with both hands.

"So... how'd you know about Ellie's uhh... condition?" Joel asked.

"Does it matter?" she sharply responded.

"Yeah - it really does," he said, his voice suddenly getting more stern.

"Why? Why the fuck does it matter?"

"Cause... look - I know you don't like her, but ya can't tell anyone. Anyone. Ya hear? I can't stop ya obviously but... that's all I ask. You can hate my guts - hate the shit outta me - that's fine. Just don't go spreadin' that around, alright? God knows what the hell people will do if they found out."

Michelle snickered. "Pssht - you haven't changed at all... bullshit. She's still all you care about - nothing else. You don't need me - you just don't need me to go blabbering away about her... sickness."

Joel became agitated at her tone and felt his blood begin to boil, her words were a sharp reminder of what she did to his little girl. The image of her limp little body lying on the living room floor shot to the center of his mind. Then her voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Besides - who says I haven't said something already?"

Joel's eyes dilated and he stared her down as they glared at each other. The tension in the room grew more intense by the second and the only sound that rippled through the air was the popping of boiling water atop the stove. As long as she was alive, as long as she was still here, Ellie was in danger.

Suddenly, Joel lunged forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him then wrapped his other around her neck. She immediately jolted forward and reached for the chef's knife on the table in reaction. Feeling his grip tighten around her neck, she started gasping for air and wildly flailed her arms while hearing Joel grunt and sneer just behind her ear as he tried to strangle her. She violently brought the knife down and sliced open his forearm, causing him to let out a shriek of pain.

"Aaggh! Fuck!" The sudden shot of pain caused him to loosen his grip. Then he felt her squirm around, elbowing him in the face.

He fell to the floor, giving Michelle the opportunity to dive on top of him, driving the knife down through the air as hard as she could. Just before piercing into his chest with her weapon, Joel grabbed her arm, pressing with all of his might and pushing it away. She was no match for his strength. He swung with his free fist, hitting her in the face right against one of her healing bruises, causing her to cry out in agony as she dropped the knife and fell to her back. Joel lunged for the knife and pulled her head to the left, exposing the broad side of her neck then lifted the weapon high above. He cried out in rage as he slammed the knife back down, jamming it deep into her throat. She gurgled as blood dribbled from her mouth and gaping wound while her body twitched during her last few seconds of life. The sound and sight instantly brought back memories of the horrors he committed over the past year. All to keep Ellie safe, all to keep her alive, all to keep his daughter, his _purpose,_ from perishing at the hands of the countless monstrosities that now inhabited planet earth.

He flopped his head to the floor, panting for air and simply stared up at the ceiling for minutes as he took in what he had just done. Blood pooled behind Michelle's neck and he looked over to see her motionless body emptily gazing into nothing but the bleak void of death. He wiped the blood from his lips and slowly rose to his feet. After taking one last look at the woman who horribly beat and abused his daughter, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, knowing it was finally, all over. Ellie was safe and that was all that mattered. He limped his way over to the door, locked the knob then slammed it shut. Leaving behind her atrocities once and for all.

* * *

Ellie was fully dressed and sitting on the couch cross-legged, talking with Maria. She was having a good time getting to know this woman, who technically was now her aunt if Joel were to really be her father. She woke up just awhile ago, and her stomach growled for food which lead her downstairs. Maria cooked her up a warm meal and the two of them enjoyed each other's company as they talked about their respective lives. However, every sound Ellie heard from outside pulled her attention to the front door, thinking it was Joel. The thought of him remained in the back of her mind, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted him home, with her, and her greatest fear of ending up alone still tortured her psyche. But, Maria's presence was soothing. She kept her in the moment, pleasantly distracting her with good conversation.

"Hahaha! That's funny about Tommy... I didn't know that," Ellie said with a laugh.

Maria took a sip of water from her glass. "Yep - he was a handful at first - I'll tell ya that."

"Man... too funny," Ellie said, making eye contact with Maria. They both held it and smiled, enjoying the moment between them.

Ellie knew that Maria and Tommy were indeed good people. She could trust them, they had good hearts, something that was of course rare in people given the current broken state of the world.

Suddenly, Ellie heard footsteps on the porch outside, causing her ears to perk up and her attention to immediately dart towards the door. This time, finally, it really was Joel. He opened the door, still breathing hard, blood profusely dripping down his arm from the cut Michelle gave him. He glanced at Ellie, slammed the door shut behind him then felt his legs give way, plopping himself onto the floor to sit against the wall.

"Joel! Oh my god!" Ellie yelped while lunging off the couch and crawling over to him.

"Holy shit - hang on - I'll get you some water and a rag," Maria said, rising to her feet.

He felt Ellie crawl and wiggle her way in between his legs then wrap her arms around his neck as she embraced him. Tears began to pool at the base of his eyes and he clutched her tight in his arms, squeezing her as close to him as he could.

"You're - you're bleeding - what - what happened!?" she exclaimed with worry with her head over his shoulder.

He didn't respond and simply let out a whimper as he pressed his nose into her hair, taking in its soothing and familiar scent. Tears ran down his cheeks as he began to cry, letting himself give into his emotions after finally coming down from the intensity of the past hour. He beat and killed a woman. It was one of the darkest things he'd ever done. But he did it for her, for his daughter, for his little girl's safety.

"Joel! Say something - please!" she said, pulling her head away to look him in the eyes.

The pain, the torture, the anguish that engulfed his face cut her to the core. She hated seeing him like this, seeing him in so much pain. He'd always been her rock, her foundation and it was unnerving to see him in such a state. But, behind all of the horror in his eyes, she could see the blatant undying love he felt for her. The tears, the blood on his arm and his panted breaths all spoke loudly of what he'd just done, what he'd just done _for her_. She knew exactly what transpired, she didn't need to put forth another query.

He pressed his lips against her forehead and squeezed her even tighter, relishing the feeling of her warming, little presence in his arms and finally spoke through a pained sob.

"My baby girl."

"Yeah - it's me - that's me... I'm - I'm still here," she softly spoke in his embrace.

"It's over baby - it's all over... you're safe now. We're safe now."

He lifted his lips from her forehead after giving her a long, compassionate kiss. Again, he looked into her bright, emerald eyes that were now glistening with tears of her own and he managed a smile through his overwhelming despair. The three words they'd both been struggling to say for so long shot up from the bellows of their hearts and onto the tip of their respective tongues. Yet, still, they couldn't bring themselves to say the words. Instead, the penultimate statement simply rang like a bell in their minds.

 _I love you._


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So, I'm going away for the weekend. Which means I probably won't be writing the next chapter until I get back. Eeek! I know, I'm not going to like it either, but alas, it is what it is. Therefore, the next update may not be until late Monday or Tuesday.**

 **Cass87: Wait wait! No, not quite yet! I didn't make that clear enough... they both, simultaneously, were thinking the three words, as in they both said them internally, mentally. We aren't there yet... getting close though! I promise.**

 **Umm... in terms of Sean's father and Michelle's knowledge about Ellie... I have purposefully not divulged any details to those parts of the story, I'm not lazy! Well... I sort of am, but not this time. One, I will leave it to the reader to imagine how/what/when. And two... I'm leaving open a few minor things such as those in case I want to... wait for it... WRITE A PART THREE! DUN DUN DUN! I'm not making any promises and I haven't really decided yet. But if I do, I will probably take a break for just a bit. Again, like I felt going into this one, I don't want it to feel forced and unnatural.**

 **Anyway, thank you all again!**

* * *

Fall was in full swing, signified by the cooling temperature and drastic change of color in the leaves. It was early October and Ellie was now fifteen, her birthday being in late July. Joel sneaked out of bed that morning to prepare a surprise breakfast along with her favorite beverage, hot chocolate, then took her swimming later in the day. He got hold of a guitar from one of the other citizens of Jackson and surprised her with it once they returned home. The gift of the guitar, of course, also included her first lesson from him. Later that night, the two of them and Tommy and Maria had a small get together to celebrate her fifteenth birthday. That day, Joel made every attempt he could to make her feel special, feel important and that her life really mattered to someone, mattered to him. It was something she had yet to ever feel, and enjoyed every minute of it. Her physical wounds from Michelle's beating completely healed, however the psychological gashes that tormented her mind took much longer to mend. For weeks she refused to leave the house unless Joel accompanied her hand in hand. There were moments, when he thought that her favorite time of the day was going to bed. Knowing that it meant she could cuddle up close with him and enjoy each second of his nurturing, warming and comforting presence. Which, always made her feel undeniably safe and protected, thus causing her to fall asleep peacefully with a smile stretched across her face. As usual, he never once protested, something she always quietly appreciated. He knew she was still mentally healing from the trauma she endured and if he was being honest with himself, he'd gotten attached to her presence as well. The feeling of her little frame wiggling and nuzzling into him became so familiar, it would be foreign and strange trying to fall asleep without it. Besides, eventually, he knew she would grow out of it and gain her sense of independence. It was only a matter of time, and for now he simply enjoyed being close to her. However, though she was growing mentally, she had yet to grow physically and still remained her small self. It was something which annoyed her at times, but was also something they both secretly adored, knowing she could always snuggle tightly in his arms and wrap herself in his embrace whenever she so desired.

It wasn't until early September that her mind finally returned to a normal state. She would go for walks on her own, without Joel, and would even venture out to the lake to go swimming by herself. At one point, she even wanted to go on a few hunting expeditions with Tommy, Maria and other residents of Jackson to bring back meat. Joel wasn't entirely thrilled about her going out there without him, and required lots of convincing for him to loosen his protective grip on his daughter. However, he eventually caved, trusting in the fact that she was smart, careful and wise, and he also knew that Maria and Tommy would watch over her if need be. In the end, he was happy to see her finally branching out and slowly peeling herself off of his side. She would come back with extravagant stories of her hunting conquests, most of which were true, including a few run-ins with some Infected. Which made him even more uneasy about the entire situation, but he knew she was capable and, more importantly, that she couldn't get infected. Besides, as it had been for quite some time, it was normal people that scared them more than Infected, a strange irony they both found cynically humorous. Some mornings he would even wake up to find she awoke before him and was already gone. Tommy agreed to let her help with the livestock and horses, a job which required tending to in the early hours of the morning. Despite Joel's satisfaction with seeing her fully emerge from her shell, each time he awoke discovering their house lacked her presence, his usual paranoia and fear lurked in the back of his mind. It was a habit, and it would always haunt him forever. The smallest part of him thought she was in danger or not coming back for whatever reason, that he _lost_ her. But each time, without fail, his worries were put to rest when merely a few hours later he would hear the patter of her little feet on the porch then see her come through the door, greeting him with a hug and a smile.

Even though she was becoming more and more independent by the day, she still had yet to do one thing, to take that final step. And that was to finally sleep in her own room for the first time since arriving in Jackson. It was the last step in completely cutting the cord which tied her and Joel at the waist. Each night though, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She still needed him far too much when it came to falling asleep, and knew her nightmares would return without him. After darting up the stairs she would stand in the hallway for a few seconds, debating if she was ready to turn right instead of left, like she'd done each and every night before. She always went to sleep before him, thus avoiding any moment where her actions would be noted in any verbal way, though she knew he didn't mind and would never protest. Every time he made his way upstairs to retire to bed, he would anxiously wait for his room to come into view. Awaiting to see if her usual spot would finally be empty, or if he would still see her pony tail sticking out over the edge of her pillow. And each time, he was secretly thrilled to see her little head poking through the top of the covers, bringing a smile to his face. He knew it was only a matter of time until she took that final step, and moreover, grow up entirely. That knowledge caused him to cherish feeling her sidle up next to him, knowing each time could be the last. However, no matter what, to him, she would always be his baby girl. And as always, he would kiss her on the forehead before whispering his usual good night.

Maria once again pestered Joel to finally tell Ellie the truth about Salt Lake City. He was going to tell her, but he insisted waiting until she was emotionally recovered from the psychologically taxing summer. Ellie had stopped thinking about it. She knew the thought was there, locked away deep in the back of her mind. But she made a conscious effort to ignore it, simply hoping he would come clean eventually. If she did think about it, which was extremely rare, she could feel herself getting worked up. However, each time her feelings of animosity arose, she would remind herself of the most important thing. He never abandoned her. He never left her _alone._ He was always there for her, even during her most dire and desperate moments. He cared for her and nurtured her when she needed him the most. And most of all, she knew he loved her. She knew she loved him. Though, she was beginning to wonder if he'd ever admit it and finally say the three words no one had yet to ever tell her.

It was Sunday midday and the cool, brisk autumn weather was sweeping through Jackson. Joel went back to wearing his signature flannel shirts and Ellie donned her usual thermal and t-shirt combination. They had just finished eating lunch and were playing checkers to pass the time while digesting.

"King me!" Ellie exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... this what you been doin' while I'm gone? Becomin' a checkers champ?" Joel said with a playful glare.

"Nah - not when I only have to worry about beating your sorry ass... make it too easy for me," she said before sticking out her tongue.

"Tssht - brat," he responded with a snicker as he messed with her hair.

"Oh haha - what... are you Bill now?"

Joel laughed. "Man - that guy was a piece'a work."

"Yeah he was."

"Wonder how he's doin'."

"Think he's still - you know... alive?"

"Ehhh - I reckon he is. Tough guy that one was."

"Yeah - and fucking crazy," Ellie exclaimed as she rested her chin on her palm.

Joel belted out another laugh then rubbed his brow. "Right about that one kiddo - but he's a good man at heart. I reckon spendin' years by yourself like that... would drive anyone mad."

"True - he did get us a car."

"That he did... that he did. I miss 'im sometimes - tough to deal with at first I know but... good guy."

"Yeah you're right."

Both of them took another sip of water from their respective glasses then heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Joel said as he rose to his feet from the table.

He opened the door only to see Tommy and Maria standing outside, holding an object he hadn't seen in years. His eyes widened in a combination of excitement and surprise.

"Hey there brother - look what we found," Tommy said, extending the familiar object to Joel.

"Holy shit - where in the hell did you... how?"

Ellie's attention and curiosity piqued. She turned around in her chair to see what this mysterious item was.

"What? What is it!?" she yelled from across the room.

Tommy crossed his arms and leaned against the doorjamb. "You wanna play?"

Joel smiled and spun the object in his hand. "Well - it is fall... and it is Sunday ain't it?"

"You're damn right it is," Tommy replied with a nod.

Joel turned his head and yelled to Ellie over his shoulder. "Sweetie - you ready to play some football!?"

Ellie's eyes lit up, excited to finally play this game that Joel had talked so much about.

"Hell yeah! Bring it! You fuckers are goin' down!"

* * *

"What the hell is that?" Ellie asked in a confused tone.

"Uhh... it's the football - did my little munchkin not connect the dots here?" Joel replied with a witty smile.

"Okay - okay... don't be a dick - I just thought - I thought it would be round."

Tommy, Joel and Maria let out a laugh.

"Nope - this one ain't... guess I never mentioned that to ya," Joel said.

"But how the hell are you supposed to throw it?"

"Don't worry - I'm gonna show ya."

"Okay - well... I wanna watch you do it first."

"Alright... Tommy - go deep!"

"Go deep? What the fuck does that mean!?" Ellie exclaimed. "God... I'm so lost," she said with a humorous tone.

All three of them laughed again. Joel tucked the ball under his arm and against his waist then cupped her cheek with his palm.

"You are so damn adorable you know that?"

She couldn't help but smile in reaction to his endearment, but she quickly reverted to her usual, feisty self. "Pfft - whatever... now c'mon - show me!"

Tommy jogged about forty yards away then turned around, awaiting Joel's throw. Joel gripped the ball, squared his shoulders and planted his feet then threw it. The ball arced through the air with a perfect spiral then landed right into Tommy's waiting hands.

"Whoo! He's still got it!" Tommy yelled from afar.

"Whoa Nelly! That was actually pretty cool. Wow - I didn't know you could do that," Ellie said with excited curiosity.

Joel turned his head to reply. "Well - been awhile but... reckon I won't ever forget how - tell ya that."

Ellie crossed her arms and watched Tommy return the ball with a throw of his own. The velocity was a bit lower than Joel's and its spiral wasn't nearly as tight, but it reached its destination regardless.

"Maria - can you do that?" Ellie asked,

Maria snickered. "No - no I can't throw - I can catch though - I got good hands."

"Huh, cool... Joel, do it again - one more time!"

"Alright... Tommy! I'm puttin' some heat on this one!" Joel yelled to his brother.

Tommy simply rose his hand and gave a thumbs up.

Again, Joel squared his shoulders and planted his feet. This time, though, he really stepped into the throw and whipped his arm over his shoulder, sending the ball in a much straighter trajectory than the last one. Ellie could hear it whistle through the air as it tightly spiraled its way at a high speed towards Tommy. Tommy felt it thud into this chest while feeling the friction between his hands and the skin of the ball slightly tear at his fingertips.

Tommy whistled. "Wwwhheeww - damn. You weren't kiddin' - that had some heat," he said as he threw it back.

Joel snickered. "You wanna try?" he asked Ellie.

"Yeah - gimme that damn thing. But umm... what do I do?" Ellie asked, pulling another laugh from Joel.

"It's alright - I'll show ya - c'mere," Joel said.

Joel gripped the ball with his hand and held it out in front of Ellie.

"'Kay - see these?"

"Yeah - what are they?"

"These are the laces. They help ya grip it better. Different people use varying combinations of 'em... all depends on the size of your hands an' what ya like - but usually I always do this... ring finger on lace one, pinky on three. See that? One... three," Joel instructed, demonstrating the placement of his fingers.

"Huh - okay."

Tommy and Maria stood nearby, also listening to Joel's instruction.

"An' you wanna stretch your middle finger, index finger and thumb kinda in like a uhh... wide open half-circle like this... wrappin' around the tapered end of the ball. See?"

"Wow - okay... I never noticed how big your hands are - make mine look tiny!" Ellie exclaimed.

"Here - give it a shot," he said, handing Ellie the ball.

"So one and three... umm okay - I can't even reach the third one," she said with a laugh.

Joel snickered. "Man - you do have tiny hands... that's alright. Just do pinky on two instead and pull your ring finger back 'bout half an inch behind the first lace. That work?"

"Hey - yeah, yeah that works. I got it. See!?" Ellie said while holding the ball up.

Joel pivoted around behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Alright now... keep your hips square - an' you're gonna want the side of your shoulder pointin' to where you wanna throw it. Remember - hips and shoulders... keep 'em square."

He gently shifted her frame to the right position.

"Uhh okay - this feels weird... I'm supposed to throw it... facing sideways?"

"Tssht - no, no, no... just hang on... So, if ya can - hold it with a 'C' not a 'U' - see my hand? 'C' not a 'U'," he said, adjusting his wrist to demonstrate the position of his hand.

"Okay... why exactly? That feels... awkward - my hand doesn't wanna - "

"Right - to most people it is at first. Ya naturally wanna hold it with a 'U'... But if ya rotate to a 'C' it's gonna spin off your finger tips in a cleaner motion - tighter spiral - more accurate."

"Alright - now the hard part. When ya throw it... you wanna rotate your hips forward an' shoot your arm over your shoulder at the same time. When the tip of the ball kinda reaches your ear - let it go and give it a slight flick of the wrist."

"Woah - woah slow down... too much. Okay - rotate the hips and arm over the shoulder - I got that. What about my ear?"

"I just mean - as you bring your arm over, release the ball kinda right when it passes by your ear."

"Ohhh - okay... Man this shit's complicated."

Joel and Tommy laughed.

"You got no idea how serious people used to take this damn sport," Joel said.

"Apparently I really don't," she responded with a snicker.

"Alright... we'll start short. I'll go 'bout ten yards out - c'mon kiddo - give it a shot," Joel said, clapping his hands together.

Ellie took a deep breath then awkwardly tried to mimic Joel's motions. She barely rotated her hips, and gave all of her effort to throw the ball to him. It spiraled slowly, floating towards its destination. However, it was accurate, and landed directly in his hands.

"There ya go - see? Ain't so bad!" he said, softly throwing it back to her.

She quickly reacted, reached out her hands and caught it. "Hah! See that!? I caught it! I am a natural!" she said with pride.

"You sure are... 'kay this time - loosen those damn hips. Too stiff! Give it more wrist too when ya release it."

"Alright - I got this."

This time, Ellie did her best to synchronize the two motions together, causing the ball to flutter out of her hand with a slightly tighter rotating spiral and higher velocity.

"Hey! Just like that! Good job kiddo - quick learner."

"Wow - good job Ellie - I have years on you and I can barely do that," Maria said with a laugh.

Ellie smiled and beamed with confident pride.

"Alright - teams? Ya ready?"

"Me and Joel!" Ellie blurted out.

Tommy snickered. "Yeah - yeah alright. Ya'll can start too if ya want."

Joel tucked the ball under his arm again and leaned over to instruct Ellie.

"'Kay kiddo - ready to run?"

"Uhh - sure. What're we doing?"

"Remember when I said go deep?"

"Yeah - you still never said what that - "

"Just run straight - far. Got it? I'ma throw it to ya - an' you just keep runnin' straight when you catch it... 'til ya get to that uhh.. barn over there."

"Go deep - equals run far. Got it," she said with a nod.

Joel motioned her to stand far to his left. Tommy put his hands on his knees as he waited for Joel to snap the ball and Maria jogged over to Ellie.

"I'm comin' for ya Ellie!" she said playfully.

"Bring it!"

Joel snapped the ball and Ellie took off, sprinting as fast as she could straight ahead.

"Oh shit wow... you're fast! What the hell - not fair!" Maria yelled as she tried to keep up.

Joel cocked his arm and floated the ball in a long arc towards Ellie.

"Heads up!" he shouted, imploring her to turn her head around.

Ellie heard his call and turned her head over her shoulder to see the ball spiraling down from the air. She lifted her arms and felt it shoot right between them, thudding into the grass.

"Auuuggghh! No! I almost had it!" she exclaimed with frustration and panted breaths as she came to a stop.

Maria had her hands on her knees, gasping for air. "My god... Ellie... have you always been that fast?"

Ellie placed her hands on her hips and spoke through her tired breaths. "Well... I did umm... spend a year running from... things always trying to eat me."

Maria laughed as she lifted her head. "Yeah... good point."

Ellie lightly jogged back to Joel and tossed him the ball, still catching her breath.

"This time I want ya to - "

"No! Same thing again... I got this. I'm gonna catch that fucking thing this time," she said with determination.

Her stubborn response brought a smile to his face. She reminded him so much of himself sometimes it was uncanny. "You got it - I'll put it right on ya."

"Don't be afraid to... what you said earlier... put some..." She paused, trying to remember his words.

"Heat on it?"

"Yes! That!"

"Alright - if ya insist."

Ellie lined up to his left once more with Maria still catching her breath across from her. Joel snapped the ball and Ellie took off running straight ahead, leaving Maria in the dust.

"Oh god... okay... it's all you kid - go nuts. My god..." Maria said, coming to stop realizing she couldn't keep up.

Joel again cocked his arm, then rifled the ball in a flatter trajectory, giving it more zip. Ellie turned her head and could see it shooting towards her.

"Go! Go! Go! You got it kiddo! Keep goin'!" Joel shouted to her.

She reached out her arms and felt the ball slice into her sleeves. She immediately pulled it into her chest then dipped her head and sprinted towards the barn. Tommy turned to Joel with a look of shock across his face.

"Damn - I'm impressed. She picks things up quick - really can do anything."

"Told ya," Joel said with a grin and a snicker.

Ellie reached the edge of the barn then turned around and jumped up and down. "I did it! Hahaha! Did you see that!?" she yelled.

"Sure did!" Joel shouted back.

Ellie dropped the ball to the ground and let out a roar as she stretched her arms out, proclaiming her feat. "Raaaaawwwwrrrrr! I am the football fucking master!"

Joel, Tommy and Maria all let out a boisterous laugh in response.

They played for hours, all of them appreciating the crisp autumn air. Seeing Ellie enjoying herself in such a carefree way brought a smile to Joel's face and even made him teary eyed. She was so happy, so relaxed and it seemed as if there weren't a single worry in her mind. Something he was sure had been a rarity during her harsh life. Watching her playfully run around with a smile tickled his heart, giving him a sign that just maybe, he was succeeding in raising her the best he could. Not many people got second chances like this, and he was intent on raising her like she was his own. The exercise felt good and feeling their legs ache from constantly running was a sensation they nearly forgot about. Living in Jackson had its side effects, one of which was losing the physical stamina and fitness that is required to survive out on the road among the Infected. The sun was starting to set and all four of them were getting exhausted. They were about to head back for dinner, but Joel wanted to do one more play.

"Hey - one more play. One more - Ellie... c'mere."

Ellie, breathing hard, waltzed her way to him, eager to hear his next plan.

"Alright - I want you to line up behind me. I'm'a snap the ball - toss it to you - "

"Then I run?" she asked with excitement.

"No - your gonna jump on my back - I'll get us to the barn. Sound good?"

Her eyes lit up. "Even better - just don't let them catch us you slow poke," she said playfully.

"Feisty today," he responded.

Ellie walked behind Joel and stood a few feet back.

"Trick play! Trick play!" Tommy shouted.

Joel snapped the ball, turned around and tossed it to Ellie. He spun back around and felt her leap onto his back, wrapping her legs around his waist and one arm around his neck. She couldn't help but start laughing.

"Go! Go! Go! Their gonna catch us! Hahaha move it!" she stammered.

Joel lumbered forward as fast as he could, eventually reaching a limped run. Though his leg injury from the nail bomb, back in the summer, was fully healed, he would always walk with a slight limp, and he would never be able to reach a full gallop like he used to. However, Tommy and Maria were exhausted, and bringing down Joel with Ellie on his back wasn't something they wished to partake in.

"Ahhh fuck it... I don't care anymore. Tired as shit - my god," Tommy said as he came to a stop.

"Yeah... yeah me too... oh man," Maria said.

Ellie leaned her head over Joel's shoulder. "Hah! They gave up! We did it! We win! Suckers!"

Joel reached the barn and finally slowed his pace, panting and desperately gasping for air.

"Holy shit... okay... reckon I'm outta shape. Jesus..." he said, placing his hands on his hips.

Ellie rested her chin on his shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. She could feel his chest rapidly expanding and contracting against her arm as he tried to catch his breath.

"We won right?" she asked.

"Hell yeah we did... good job kiddo," he said through his panting, gently rubbing her fingers that were stretched over his neck.

She felt a massive grin stretch over her cheeks. She couldn't help but feel undeniably happy in this moment. This moment, the past few hours, playing football with her father, was the happiest and carefree she had ever felt. She began to wonder if this was what most children experienced while growing up before the outbreak. After affectionately tightening her grasp around him, she pressed her nose into the back of his shoulder and for the first time ever, gave him a light, familial kiss on his shirt. She rested the side of her head on his back, closed her eyes and let out a deep breath while maintaining her smile. Leaving the comfort of her current position, propped up on his back, was of no interest, she had no intention to hop off until they returned home. Joel's eyes slightly widened, feeling exactly what Ellie had just done. It reminded him of Sarah, when she would jump on his back after her soccer games and every once in awhile lightly press her lips to the back of his shirt. Like Ellie, this moment, coupled with feeling her nuzzled into him, caused his stomach to tickle with joy and he couldn't keep himself from smiling. Once he felt her little arms tighten around his neck, he knew she had no plans to leave. It was as if she were a permanent growth atop his back.

"Piggy back ride home?"

"Duh! Now get movin'! I'm hungry!"

"Brat..."

"Hey! I'll bite you... I'll do it - I swear," she said with a playful tone.

"Tssht - yeah right. You wouldn't do it if your life depended on it."

He was right.

* * *

After eating dinner, Joel and Ellie played some more checkers until tiredness took over Ellie's body, thus luring her to the couch. All of the exercise from earlier, along with eating a large meal had both of them feeling weary. Joel was finishing cleaning the kitchen, while Ellie lay on the couch, curled into a ball under a blanket. He looked over and saw her lightly sleeping, then looked at the clock on the wall. It was only nine, but he'd only be fooling himself if he claimed he wasn't tired as well. He walked over to the couch and tapped her on the shoulder. Her eyelids bounced up and down and she turned her head to look up at him.

"Hey there sleepy head. C'mon let's get you to bed - go get some sleep."

She yawned and stretched her arms up as she rose to a sitting position. "Man - yeah I'm... I'm wiped out."

Seeing her yawn evoked one from himself as well. "Reckon it's from all that runnin' around."

"Yeah probably."

Joel turned around and was about to walk back into the kitchen when he heard a peep from Ellie behind him.

"Hey wait..."

He stopped, giving her his full attention. "Yeah? Everything okay?"

"Yeah just... can you come up with me - I wanna... I'm gonna try sleeping in my room tonight."

There it was, the final step, her last obstacle when it came to gaining independence and further separating herself from her father. She was ready, it was time. She appreciated how much he was there for her, nurtured and cared for her when she needed him the most. But now, she was ready to take the plunge. He knew this moment would come eventually, he just didn't know when. Even though part of him felt saddened, knowing he would no longer feel her little self and warmth next to him while sleeping, he also felt happy and pleased for her. All of the pain and mental anguish she endured over the summer now seemed like a distant memory. Though, they would never forget it, and he was glad to see her metaphorically depart the comfort of her nest, knowing that she could return to it anytime she desired.

"Alright - let's go."

They slowly made their way up the stairs, Joel right behind her every step of the way. When she reached the top, she paused and looked into what used to be their room but was now going to become his. She took a deep breath then continued down the hallway, nervously approaching the doorway into hers. Adrenaline began to lightly dance through her bloodstream, causing her heartbeat to quicken. She was nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time. This would be the first time, since that night fate brought them together a year ago in Boston, spending the whole night _alone_ , in her own room, away from him. Before stepping through the door, she stopped and turned around, her eyes glistening with the smallest of tears.

"Honey - it's okay," Joel softly said, brushing her lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm right down the hall - door will be open. I'll be right there if ya need anything at all alright?"

She nodded, then wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she sniffled. "I know."

"C'mon - you got this. Gimme a five!" Joel said, reaching out his hand.

She took a deep breath and slapped her small palm to his. "Yeah - okay - whew... I got this. Here we go."

As she went to pull away, Joel gently held onto her hand. "Wait - one more thing," he said, his lingering touch and words pulling her back around.

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Night baby girl."

She smiled and her nerves relaxed. The tension in her muscles eased and she prepared to conquer her final obstacle.

* * *

Joel lay awake in bed, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. He knew this would happen, he knew the first night he had to sleep alone would be hard. He'd gotten so used to having Ellie close to him, that her absence rattled his conscious. He let out a frustrated exhale and ran his hands over his face.

 _Christ Joel get it together - you're a grown ass man. She's probably sound asleep like an angel and you're here lying awake like a sucker,_ he thought.

Suddenly, he heard a scream from down the hall and immediately leaped out of bed. He stumbled into the hallway and bolted for Ellie's room.

Ellie's eyes slowly lifted themselves open. She had finally fallen asleep, but she was awoken by a sudden discomfort in her abdomen. She rubbed her eyes and sighed, frustrated that she was now awake and alone with her thoughts. She missed her father and part of her wanted to simply get out of bed and tip-toe to his room. But she couldn't, she had to take this next step.

 _You got this Ellie - everything's cool,_ she thought to herself.

She shifted her legs under the covers then suddenly felt an extremely uncomfortable dampness between her knees and against the sheets. It startled her and she frantically pulled the blanket away to inspect the source of the odd sensation. She glanced down and saw a giant, wet, dark stain on her sheets, the insides of her thighs and shorts covered with the same substance. Her heart began to race and she brushed the mysterious blotch in her sheets with her fingers, feeling its cold touch. She brought her hand near her face, inspecting it in the moonlight. It was blood. She squeaked and squirmed, backing up against the headboard, pulling her legs into her chest in a panic then let out a terrified scream for Joel.

Within seconds, he came darting through the door and flipped on the light switch.

"Baby! Baby! Honey - what's wrong - sweetie what is it?" he stammered as he stumbled to her side of the bed. Without delay, she dove into his arms and nuzzled into his chest. Her breathing immediately began to slow, being in the familiar, safe and protective confines of his embrace.

"I - I don't know... there's - " she responded, her little frame quivering in his arms.

"You're alright - shhh - I'm here - I've gotcha. What's goin' on? Bad dream?"

"My - my sheets... look..."

He pulled her in tighter then reached out one hand to peel back the comforter, displaying the large red stain on her sheets. Right away he knew what it was. Like it was for her, this was a brand new experience for him. Sarah never made it to this age, and he let out an awkward grunt as he cleared his throat. He looked down at her legs, noticing the blood on them and her shorts, confirming his thoughts.

"Ohhh sweetie no - no... it's okay - you're fine," he said with a very slight, lighthearted laugh as he placed one hand over the side of her head, gently pulling it to his chest.

 _Of course, it had to finally happen on her first night alone,_ he thought to himself.

"Wha - what... why are you laughing? This isn't funny! What's going on!? Am I dying? Is something changing with my immunity - what - what's happening!?" she nervously stammered with a sniffle as she tilted her head and looked up at him.

"Shhh - baby - it's _okay._ You're _fine_ \- it's just uhh..." He reached his hand up to scratch his beard, feeling awkward knowing he was about to have this conversation for the first time in his life.

"What!? What's going on!?" she yelped.

"This happens to all girls eventually - means you're growin' up."

"Huh?" Her quivering stopped.

He lowered his head and kissed her on the cheek.

"It's called bleedin' or uhh... your period - an' it's just... part of growin' up and bein' a girl. Completely natural - don't worry, you're fine. We'll get ya some clean sheets and uhh... tomorrow get some... " He paused, still feeling uneasy in the midst of this conversation. "Some things you're gonna need from Maria."

"My period? Wait - what? Really? What... is it?"

He bit his lip then cleared his throat. "Well... I reckon Maria can explain it a lot better than I can but uhh... basically means your body is producin' stuff - to ya know... have a child. When it don't get used, you flush it out. That's basically it - an' at your age just be glad that it happens. I mean - I know it sucks an' can be painful at times but - means you ain't pregnant. Which... I don't even wanna think about that one." He laughed, then continued. "That's all it means, no big deal. Just part of life and growin' up."

He smiled then wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Oh... did Sarah ever - "

"No - no... she never made it to that age. So - this a first time dealin' with it myself," he responded with a snicker.

Ellie blushed and again rested the side of her head against his chest as she affectionately latched onto his arm. "I'm... I'm kinda embarrassed."

"Pssht - sweetie it's just me... it's okay really - it ain't a big deal. Was gonna happen eventually... just means my little girl is growin' up!" he said before kissing her on top of the head.

"How... how often does it happen?"

"'Bout once a month... approximately. Tess she - " He snickered. "She operated like a damn machine - was like clock work. She said it was the fourth day of the month every time - without fail. But - not everyone is the same... it can vary."

Ellie shifted herself in his embrace and let out a muffled laugh as well. "But... everything's okay right? Nothing's... fucking wrong with me or anything?"

" _Yes -_ baby you're alright trust me. You're fine - it's just nature. Tomorrow ya can talk to Maria 'bout it some more - she'll be way more help than I am - alright?"

"Okay... well... I want to... talk to you about it," she sheepishly said, looking up at him again.

He smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. "Well ya can - whenever ya want to... I just don't uhh... ya know - know a whole lot 'bout this stuff. I ain't tryin' to dump ya off on Maria or nothin' I just think - "

"No - no I know. I'll talk to her about it I guess... gonna feel like a weirdo though."

"Don't feel that way... happens to every girl eventually. Trust me - everything's gonna be just fine. Now go get yourself cleaned up while I fetch ya some clean sheets."

Ellie nodded, then got up and went to the bathroom to wash herself off. Joel found an extra pair of sheets in the closet in his bedroom and replaced her dirty ones with his findings. After putting on a clean pair of shorts she crawled back into bed, snuggling into her now fresh sheets and comforter.

Joel sat on the edge of the mattress next her and gently stroked her hair. "Remember honey - I'm right down the hall. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah... but - can you..." She paused and let out a sigh.

"C'mon spit it out - I'll do whatever ya ask - it's fine."

"Could you stay here... with me - until I fall asleep?"

He grabbed her hand and rubbed her fingers. "'Course sweetie - I'll be right here."

She smiled then closed her eyes and nuzzled into her pillow. She felt completely at peace and despite her earlier rude awakening from her body's natural changes, she calmed knowing Joel's assurances were true. She was okay, everything was okay. He would never let harm come to her. His presence was soothing and within minutes she dozed off to sleep.

Eventually, he could faintly hear her breathing take a patterned turn and watched one of her long bangs of hair rise and fall from each of her breaths. He pulled the blanket further up so only her head was visible. The adorable sight brought a smile to his face and he leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good night baby girl."

He quietly walked back to his room and flopped onto his bed. Despite knowing his daughter was now peacefully sleeping after comforting her, he still couldn't fall asleep. Only this time, a new and different thought kept him awake. It scratched, clawed and screamed in his mind, taunting him.

He had to tell her the truth. He knew it was time.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Hi everyone, back from the weekend. Alright, here we are, confession time.**

* * *

Joel sat on the couch, lost in his thoughts and twiddling his thumbs. He was patiently waiting for Ellie to return from talking with Maria. At first, she again resisted, not wanting to discuss the topic with anyone besides Joel. But, he persisted in telling her to speak with Maria, knowing the woman would be more help and a better source of advice. He thought about how much the two of them had changed, yet also how much they stayed the same. She was getting older and her renewed sense of independence was peeling her off of his side. And for him, with the help of Ellie, he was re-discovering the paternal emotions that were buried deep down for so long. He was re-discovering what it was like to _love_ something more than life itself. Above all, the constants that were established in their relationship long ago remained. He would never abandon her. She needed him. He needed her. And no matter what, they would remain together regardless of what obstacles the universe continually threw at them, something which put him at ease when it came to his lie, though he wasn't totally sure. He started to think about what his life would look like in the next ten years. She would be full grown, living her own life, possibly with a significant other of some kind and thus be fully separated from him. Even after mulling over those thoughts, which he felt saddened by, he still couldn't bring himself to consider a romantic relationship with anyone. It took a full year of constant contact with Ellie to revive his paternal empathy and find her way into his heart. She was still his primary focus, his _purpose,_ and he would never put her in a position in which she would even think, for a second, that she was playing second fiddle to someone else. Finally, his thoughts came full circle and returned back to what brought him to the couch in the first place. His secret. His Lie. It was time to tell her, she needed to know.

Each second that passed was agonizing. His stomach churned and the contents of his dinner were on the verge of spewing from his mouth. The angst and nerves that he was experiencing reminded him of how he felt when Marlene told him Ellie was being prepped for surgery. Back then and just like now, he felt sick, feeling all of the color drain from his face. He looked down at his hands, only to see them shaking and their palms sweaty. Every beat of his heart pounded in his chest, sending nervous reverberations throughout his body. The unknown of how Ellie would react shook him to the core and his paranoia, like always, took hold. He began to worry that he would lose her, that she would leave him forever.

Then, the patter of Ellie's little feet up the steps outside reeled his mind back to the present. He watched the doorknob turn, gulped, then took a deep breath. In came Ellie with a smile on her face and a small paper bag in her hand.

"Hey - " He stopped and cleared his throat, feeling his voice quiver as he tried to speak. "Hey there baby girl."

He hoped if he uttered her favorite term of endearment, it would somehow lessen the blow of the truth.

"Hey!" she responded happily, her smile increasing in size at his greeting. "So that was - weird... but helpful I guess."

"Reckon things make more sense now?"

"Kinda... I mean - what you said last night was pretty much right she just... fully explained it."

"And gave ya a bag of... somethin' I see."

She held up the small paper bag and snickered. "Yeah... it's got a few - "

"No - no... that's alright. I - I don't need to be hearin' 'bout it. It's fine," he nervously responded as he averted his gaze from her to the floor.

Ellie laughed in reaction to his obvious uncomfortable tone. "Fine! I didn't wanna tell you anyway," she said playfully.

Joel was intensely staring at the ground and didn't respond to her playful coy. She could already sense something was awry. He took another deep breath and rubbed the back of his head.

"Ellie... there's somethin' I gotta talk to you about."

"Oh - what... you're gonna give me the fucking talk about getting pregnant and what not too?" she responded sarcastically.

He scrunched his face and twitched after hearing her response.

"What? I... no - I - "

"Look - if that's what you're worried about... don't be." Her tone took a sudden serious shift. "It's not gonna happen... I... I don't even like..." She paused, set the bag on the coffee table adjacent to the couch then sat down on the other end opposite of him.

"Don't even like what?" Now he was confused and curious, though her assurance brought a slight smile to his face.

"Ugh - never mind... another time. Oh! Maria gave me this - look."

She reached in her back pocket and handed him a picture. It was taken by Maria and was of Ellie and Joel on Ellie's birthday. Tommy had an old Polaroid camera and Maria would use it for special occasions such as that. Ellie wanted a picture of her and Joel, so Maria obliged. Seeing it sent a tickle of joy through Joel's heart, but also pained him even more. Ellie was on his back, her arms wrapped around his neck with her chin resting on his shoulder and both had smiles stretched across their faces. It was a picture that clearly expressed how happy the two of them were together and it immediately tugged at his heartstrings, especially knowing what he was about to tell her. He could feel his eyes starting to burn.

"C'mere sweetie," he reached out his hand and gently grabbed hers.

She looked up at him in reaction to his touch and could see his eyes glistening. As usual, her instincts were ringing in her head, telling her that something was up. His body language, his tone of voice, the look on his face, all blatantly said this wasn't normal Joel. She started getting nervous, and thus crawled over to him like he asked. Once she was within range he immediately wrapped his arms around her, one behind her head and the other squeezing her back. Feeling her close to him calmed his nerves and he closed his eyes and kissed her on the cheek.

"Umm... Joel - what... what's going on?" she nervously asked, sensing the tension forming in the air around him.

He lifted his head from her shoulder and gently placed both hands on each side of her face, looking deep into her eyes. He could see she was getting anxious and felt at odds with his behavior. But those eyes, her eyes, like always, pierced through his heart and soul like daggers. At this moment, he felt as if they were taunting him. He felt like they were already saying goodbye before he'd even began his confession.

 _Don't tell her - don't do it. You don't have to do this. She's so happy. You're so happy._ _No... no... you have to. Maria's right - she has to know. You have to tell her,_ he thought to himself as the look of sorrow in his face increased.

Ellie reached her hand up to touch his. "Joel - you're... you're scaring me. What's going on - say something," she softly said, scooting herself closer to him as she tugged on his sleeve.

"Shhh - baby girl," he cooed as he lowered his hands and grabbed hers.

He cleared his throat.

"Listen - "

"I am - now c'mon what the fuck is going on?" she anxiously said.

"Before I start... I just want you to know that you mean - "

"No - no fucking disclaimers. Spill it already." She was getting agitated, feeling scared, nervous and curious all at the same time.

"Fine... I wasn't honest with you, Ellie."

"Umm okay... when and what?"

 _Wait, is he finally going to come clean? Is that what he's referring to? No... it couldn't be,_ she thought.

"I lied to you Ellie - flat out."

 _Holy shit. It is what he's referring to. Okay - okay... everything's cool, just breathe._

The feelings of animosity, hate and anger that she'd buried deep down and nearly forgotten about began bubbling in her gut. She loosened her grip on his sleeve, thus pulling another pained look from his face. He felt like it was the first stage of losing her.

"Well no shit Joel. I figured that out a long time ago. You're not a very good liar - remember?"

Another wave of nerves fluttered through his body. His worry that she saw through him the whole time was validated.

"Yeah... reckon I ain't. Just - just..." He paused and sighed then clenched his fist. "Agh! Fuck!" he belted out in frustration, causing Ellie to jump. Now she really was getting scared.

"Joel - what the fuck really happened!?"

"Alright - what's the last thing you remember?"

She closed her eyes and thought about everything that happened that day. Each memory still vivid in her mind like the events occurred just yesterday.

"We were... running across a bus... over a deep and rapid thing of water. You fell in and I jumped in to save you - then... that's it. I woke up in the car."

"Right - I swam as fast as I could to get to ya. I picked you up - dragged us outta the water." He started to rub his brow.

"You - you weren't breathin' Ellie," he said as his voice shook, pools of tears now forming at the base of his eyes.

Ellie could see how emotional he was getting. It scared her even more, and she too could feel her eyes getting sore.

"When I was tryin' to revive ya... the Fireflies - that's when they found us. Wouldn't even let me bring you back - just hit me in the head and knocked me right out."

Ellie removed her small hand from his sleeve and crossed her arms. She was slowly but surely pulling away. The lack of contact made him cringe.

"I woke up in some room... with Marlene. Right away I asked to see you... she wouldn't let me."

Ellie took a deep breath. Somehow, she could already sense where this was going.

"Ellie - she said she... prepped you for surgery."

Ellie's eyes widened. "Wait - what? Surgery?"

"Yep - when I asked why, she said they needed to... in order to get what they needed for the vaccine."

"So... they weren't just going to draw some blood?"

"Hell I wish it really ended up bein' that easy... Marlene said... she said - " He began to choke up and the first wave of tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"What the fuck did she say Joel!?" Ellie stammered, tears of her own pooling in her eyes.

"They had to take your brain Ellie. Your goddamn brain - cut it outta your skull. They were just gonna - slice ya open and take what they needed."

Ellie sat there motionless, stoic, unable to move and silently cried.

"They didn't even wait for you to wake up they just - drugged you right away and were gonna do it without even... without even askin' ya." He paused to wipe his eyes. "They were just gonna toss your little body aside like you were... no one. Nothin'."

Ellie sniffled. "So what the fuck happened then?"

Joel's eyes turned to fire and his muscles tensed as he clenched both fists, remembering the fury and rage he felt while fighting his way to her.

"I killed them. All of them. I fuckin' killed all of 'em!" he barked.

Ellie scooted an inch backwards, in shock from Joel's statement.

"Even... Marlene?"

"Yes - I couldn't risk havin' her come after you."

The animosity and anger which bubbled in Ellie's gut was now boiling over at the surface. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. All this time she knew he lied to her, but had no inclination as to what he really did. Finally, all of her pent up rage and hate burst from within.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!? Am I still the only one!? The only one who's immune!?"

Joel sighed and rubbed his face. "Yes Ellie - yes you are."

She scooted another few inches away from him. He could feel her pulling away each second that went by.

"I can't - I don't believe you. You're lying to me again. I know you are! You're fucking lying to me again!" she stammered, her tears running down her cheeks. She tried to convince herself he was still lying, but knew that wasn't true.

"I ain't goddamn lyin' to you again! That's the truth - all of it."

"Joel! Don't you hear what you're fucking saying!? Were you out of your fucking mind!? They were trying to save the world - save all of... fucking mankind - save us! Save you!"

Joel adjusted his posture and raised his hand. "Not us! Not you! Ellie I couldn't - "

Ellie slid off the couch, rose to her feet and interrupted him before he could finish.

"No! Stop! How the fuck have you been living with yourself this whole time!?"

"Ellie - honey just listen ple - "

"Don't! Don't honey - "

"Ellie! Just lis - "

"No! Fucking shut up! Let me talk for once!" she yelled, then let out a sob. "You have no idea how fucking important this was to me."

Joel stood up as well and cautiously approached her, only to have her immediately back away and keep her distance. Sensing her wariness, he stopped.

"After everything we went through - everything that I did - that you did. You just threw it all away!?" she rhetorically asked with a sniffle and a pained voice. "We were supposed to end it Joel! Riley, Tess and Sam - how can you even look at yourself in the mirror? They're fucking dead for no reason! This was supposed to be my turn!"

"Ellie! Stop! Please just give me a - "

"No! That's what I was supposed to do with my life! That's what I was living for - that's why I was alive! That was my fucking purpose!" she screamed. The intensity of her sobs were making her words more difficult to speak, let alone even shout.

That word, purpose, hit Joel like a ton of bricks. He felt his heart crumble and her sharp words caused another wave of tears to fill his eyes. She was slicing through him like a blade through warm butter, word after word. He thought he had become her purpose, like she had for him.

"I'm a person to ya know. I'm not just some piece of property you own - I have a fucking say in things, I can make my own decisions - It's my life too," she said, her voice lowering as she tried to calm herself.

"But that's it! They didn't give you a choice! They didn't give you a goddamn say in anything! They were just gonna do it! Killin' you in - "

"But you _know_ that's what I would've fucking wanted!" she shouted back.

Joel stopped, took a step back and gulped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All that time, she really was ready to sacrifice everything, including her own life, to fulfill her destiny as the savior of mankind. She was even willing to sacrifice their relationship that had been forged from the cruelest of circumstances. But, the budding feelings they felt for one another simply couldn't have been empty. He knew it. He became attached to her long ago, and he knew she was to him. No matter how angrily she shouted otherwise, he knew she was the one lying this time, whether she knew it or not.

"Bull shit I knew that... how the hell can you say that to me? After everything we've been through... you an' I both know that ain't true."

"What the fuck do you know!? That was my purpose Joel. And you just... fucking took it away from me. Like I didn't matter," she said, putting her hands on her hips with an exasperated sigh.

That one hurt. _Like she didn't matter._ Ironically, she mattered all too much to him. It's why he saved her, it's why he slaughtered every Firefly while fighting to reach her. She mattered more than anything in the world, even more than his own life. He loved her to death. Literally.

"Ellie listen to me." He lunged forward, trying to reel her into his arms, thinking he could fix it. Thinking if he could just hold her it would make everything right again.

"No! Don't touch me!" she screamed as she pulled away. It was the first time since they ever met that she shied away from his contact. They could feel the cells in their bodies withering away, as if both of them were dying from Ellie's rejection. It hurt her just as much as it did him. Her guardian, her protector, her rock and foundation was crumbling beneath her feet, leaving her to endlessly fall into a black void of unknown, fear, and abandonment.

Then her heart sank as a thought shot to the front of her mind. Suddenly, it was all she could think about. She felt her insides shatter to a thousand pieces as her adolescent mind jumped to conclusion after conclusion.

 _He doesn't love me. If he did, he would've understood._

Joel took another step forward. "Baby girl please just - "

"No! Don't! Don't say -" she shouted, but couldn't finish as she felt her favorite term of endearment slice through her heart as she let out another sob. After wiping her nose, she looked up at him and held his eye contact.

"Joel - you were the one person in whole world I trusted. I thought you were the one person who actually cared about me, about what I wanted, what I thought. I felt safe with you - protected. You were the one person who I thought would never, ever hurt me. But you - " Her lips trembled and she couldn't finish her thought.

She was shaking. Tears streamed down her cheeks and the intensity of emotion that engulfed her was crushing. Anger, hate, despair, hopelessness and even love, were all powerfully flowing through her at once. Joel slowly reached his arms out and wrapped them around her. She didn't pull away. Instead, she stood there, rigid and motionless, feeling uncomfortable in his embrace. She didn't feel safe there anymore. Like she was foreign and didn't belong in a place that she used be so familiar with and adored to be in.

"Ellie - " he softly whispered.

"Stop!" she immediately retorted. "Joel - let go and get the fuck away from me," she snapped, pushing his arms away from her.

She glanced to her left and saw her backpack sitting on the floor against the wall. Everything slowed down, and it felt as if the earth stopped spinning. Her mind darted from thought to thought and after a few seconds of quiet contemplation she darted over to it. She lunged down and picked it up in one swift motion then tried to make her way out the door. Joel reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Ellie wait!"

"No! Let go of me! Fucking let me go!" she yelled, shaking him off.

"Let me fuckin' explain! Christ!"

"No! It doesn't matter - there's nothing you can say." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, preparing herself to part ways with the one person who loved her the most. The one person she loved the most.

"Don't come after me." That hurt her just as much as it did him, and in that one instant she could feel the cord which tied them at the hip snap in half.

She angrily swung open the door then slammed it shut behind her. He could hear her rapid foot steps descend the porch as she ran off.

That was it, she was gone. He lost her, he lost his daughter. Again. He knew where she was going, he knew she was going to leave Jackson and leave him forever.

Anger, despair, agony and depression all seeped into his bones. He began to uncontrollably sob as he clenched his fists in frustration. He let out a pained scream as he fell to his knees to weep. Minutes went by as he simply knelt on the ground, tears raining from his eyes onto the living room carpet. His heart ached and he felt as if he was dying. It was as if a living part of him, an extra limb that became attached to his side was ripped away and the open wound was profusely bleeding. The umbilical cord which tied them together and anchored the two of them amidst the chaotic, spinning universe around them was cut and snapped away. He'd lost that which was most important to him. Again.

He rose to his feet and started thrashing the living room in a fit of rage. He picked up the lamp on the coffee table and threw it against the wall then kicked his foot through the table. He hated everything right now, including himself. No object was spared by his fury and before long _their_ house, _their_ home looked as if a tornado came blasting through it. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and his panted breaths caused his crying to cease. He wiped his eyes, sniffled and took a deep breath before making his way upstairs to fetch his revolver. Upon returning downstairs, he sat on the kitchen floor with his back against the cabinet door below the sink, two pictures and the revolver in hand.

* * *

Ellie ran as fast she could. The brisk, autumn, nighttime air rushed through her hair and against her face as a full moon glowed in the sky. She felt as if her life was crumbling to pieces. Tears poured down her cheeks as she sobbed and sobbed after each step. Everything she held dear, everything she'd experienced with Joel felt like a fallacy. It were as if the past year was for nothing. She felt hurt, betrayed, angry and heartbroken all at once. Riley's death, Tess' death and Sam's death all seemed to now be in vain, for nothing, serving no purpose. This was what she was meant to do, to save mankind and rid the world of the horrible virus that brought humanity to extinction's door step. She hated Joel with every fiber of her being in this moment, she hated him for robbing her of her purpose.

The front gate to Jackson was within sight, she could see it. She was close. It meant taking the final step in saying goodbye to everything she'd come to know and love. But, the closer she got, the heavier her heart felt. She felt like an invisible force was wrapped around her waist, slowly pulling her back each time she took another step towards it. Her mind was racing as fast she was running. Memory after memory, thought after thought danced through it. She remembered meeting Joel for the very first time, over a year ago in Boston. She remembered his beard, the wrinkles on his face and the pain behind his eyes. She remembered how quickly she became attached to him, how safe she felt in his presence. She thought about each and every tender moment they shared, where she was sure he loved her like his own daughter. She remembered him pulling her into his arms during her darkest moment, when she needed him the most. She remembered him soothing her with her favorite two words, _baby girl._ And most of all, he never, ever, once left her. He never abandoned her. Everything they'd been through, everything from the past year ran through her mind and it only made her cry even harder. As much as she hated him, she already missed him just as much. Knowing she would never be able to clamber into his arms again when feeling scared from the horrors that lurked in the world. Saying goodbye was harder than she thought and before she knew it, her feelings of hate were becoming forced, as if she were actively trying to hate him. But she couldn't.

As she approached the gate she came to a stop. She looked up at the full moon and could see each of her panted breaths in the crisp air. Her heart was pounding and she clenched her eyes shut and let out a scream of frustration as she fell to her knees. She ripped at the grass, tearing chunks out with each clench of her fist and furiously punched the ground in anger until her knuckles were bleeding. After throwing all of her energy into her tantrum, she collapsed to her back on the ground and continued to sob. Her sore little eyes dripped tears onto the dirt as she stared up at the sky feeling empty, as if nothing else mattered. She began to question her existence, her purpose and reason for living.

Then, all of a sudden, something hit her. She wanted to hate Joel, but again, couldn't do it. She remembered the feelings of panic and fear that filled her when she nearly lost him. The image of his body lying in the dirt sent a shiver down her spine. She remembered getting tunnel vision and feeling as if nothing else in the world mattered at that moment, not even her own life. She thought about the realization she had while lying up against his barely, clinging-to-life body as she whispered to him, praying he would come back to her. He was her purpose. She remembered feeling reinvigorated, like her life had meaning again, and it was because of him. Suddenly, the reason for his actions in Salt Lake City became crystal clear.

Riley's words once again struck like a lightning bolt in the front of her mind.

 _We fight for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it's two minutes, or two days. We don't give that up._

A moment of enlightenment smacked her across the face. She realized, without a doubt, had their roles been reversed, she would have done exactly the same thing. She sprung to her feet and sprinted to Maria and Tommy's house. She needed to know one last thing, once and for all, before making her decision.


	18. Chapter 18

**_AN - Please read:_ Okay, so... a few things. I'm really sorry for leaving everyone on a massive cliffhanger like that. But after this one, I swear it will be worth it. I've actually decided to spend a vacation day and ditch work today, specifically so I could sit down and write this entire chapter without being interrupted and make it exactly how I want. I know I just posted seventeen yesterday, but I want this to get out soon for everyone's sake, including my own.**

 **Secondly, to the guest reviewer who made the comment about there being no Infected. You are correct, there aren't any, they only arise a few times in this story, and only in passing or description of past events. I'm responding to that question because I indeed think it's important to address. I feel like I kind of dropped the ball there and for that I'm really sorry. I really wanted to put in a nice, juicy chapter with some Infected, but given the context of my story, I just couldn't think of a way to do it that seemed natural. I felt like it would've been forced. What I really, really wanted to do with this story was delve into and explore the budding relationship between Joel and Ellie, and the various events and people in Jackson and how they affect our two, lovable protagonists. But still, I apologize for not having any big, epic Infected chapter. I do feel like I sort of let people down on that one, and for that I'm sorry. If I write a part three, I have some ideas for it, and that one will definitely have a lot more Infected/Hunters/Bandits. Also, I have to respectfully disagree about ending every chapter on a cliffhanger, there are many which are not. However, I do agree that towards the end of the story I may have had more than a few, probably more than I meant to, and for that I'm also sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear :).**

 _ **Lastly, if you didn't bother to read the above, I beg you to at least read this:**_ **I've envisioned for a long time how this chapter will play out and how I would feel while writing it. As such, I've come to a conclusion on something that I'm going to integrate into it which I feel will add a pretty strong emotional effect. Listen to _Good Mother by Jann Arden_ on repeat while reading this chapter. You want to talk about maximum feels? I _urge_ you to do it. Also, there will be another chapter after this one.**

 **Okay - (takes a deep breath) - here we go.**

* * *

"Maria! Maria!" Ellie shouted through her panted breaths as she slammed her fists against the door.

"Maria! Please!"

Suddenly, Ellie heard the sound of footsteps from the other side as Maria ran for the door and within seconds flung it open. Maria stood in in the doorway, in shock and surprise to see Ellie in her current state.

"Oh my god - Ellie... what - are you okay? What happened?"

Ellie was sweating and panting from sprinting as hard as she could. Her knuckles were bloody and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her lips trembled as she tried to utter her next words to Maria.

"It's - it's Joel he... he told me." She let out a sob and brought her hands to her face.

Maria knew exactly what she meant, Ellie didn't need to say another word.

"Okay - okay come in. It's alright - c'mon in," she said, gently escorting Ellie by the arm.

"Here sit down - just relax. I'll get some water and a rag - hang on, just one second."

Maria went for the kitchen as Ellie plopped down on the couch, her shoulders slouched over and face buried in her hands. A large wave of tears poured from her eyes and every inhale and exhale felt difficult and forced as she tried to breathe through her sobs. She lifted her head and wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked around the room. The house looked just like her and Joel's. It had an identical floor plan, with even the same color carpeting in the living room and flooring in the kitchen. The familiar sight only yanked out another tearful sob, reminding her of the chaotic, tempest of feelings that raged through her. Maria came lightly jogging back with a glass of water and rag in hand.

"Here - drink some. Gimme your hands, let me clean you up - you're bleeding."

"Thanks," Ellie barely muttered with a sniffle.

"Everything alright down there!?" Tommy yelled from upstairs.

"Yes! Everything's fine! Just - give us a few okay!?" Maria yelled back.

"Alright - I'll be up here if y'all need anything!" Tommy shouted.

Maria gently placed her hand on Ellie's shoulder as she knelt down in front of her.

"Do - do you wanna tell me what happened?"

Ellie simply nodded and wiped her nose, she felt so distraught, voicing a response seemed impossible. She clenched her fist, brought it to her forehead and scrunched her face as she tried to hold back another sob, it was no use.

"It's okay - it's okay... take your time."

Ellie took a deep breath and tried to calm herself until the intensity of her crying waned just enough for her to talk.

"He told me everything. Marlene - the Fireflies... everything." She wiped her eyes again.

Maria scratched herself on the neck, trying to distract her nerve endings from the burning sensation which was increasing in intensity behind her eyes.

"They were trying to save us - save you! That was supposed to be my purpose! My turn! That's what we traveled across the fucking country for!" Ellie shouted. The temporary rise of anger brought another pained sob as Maria could see the little girl's chest convulse with despair.

"Shh - shh it's okay," Maria said softly, trying to soothe her.

"He fucking killed all of them! And just... took it away from me - like I didn't matter!"

That statement, that she didn't matter, caused Maria to twitch. She knew how much this girl mattered to Joel, it was the only thing keeping him alive.

"Ellie... you do matter - more than you can imagine."

Ellie lifted her head to meet Maria's eyes with her own.

"What?"

Suddenly, the tape player that Maria had sitting on the table clicked to the next song. It was very old and barely worked, but Maria had one tape and thus only listened to it every so often. The song rippled through the room and entered Ellie's ears, hitting her right in the heart and thus ripping out more tears.

 _I've got money in my pocket_  
 _I like the color of my hair_  
 _I've got a friend who loves me_  
 _Got a house, I've got a car_

"Ellie... when he told us what he did... we were mortified, angry and beyond upset. But - once it became clear what was going on. I can't say we wouldn't of done exactly the same thing."

 _I've got a good mother_  
 _And her voice is what keeps me here_

"What!? You two fucking knew this whole time!?" Ellie exclaimed through her tears.

"Shh - yes. Yes we did."

Ellie slammed her fists into the couch and shook her head.

 _Feet on ground  
Heart in hand  
Facing forward  
Be yourself_

"Why'd he do it!? And why the fuck did he lie to me!? He just - fucking ruined everything! Everything we did - everything we went through - he just threw it all it away!" She brought her hand to her forehead and tried to breathe through a convulsive sob as she watched more tears drip to the carpet below. Each time she thought about him, she hurt more and more.

Maria gulped. "Did... did he not tell you why?"

"No! He fucking didn't!" Ellie stammered, though she realized she never really gave him a chance.

Maria cleared her throat and exhaled. "He loves you, Ellie."

 _I...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _No I've... no I've, no I've...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _So bad...  
So bad..._

That pulled Ellie's attention right back to Maria's face. She could feel another wave of tears piling up in her eyes as her lips trembled after hearing that word, _love_. She couldn't believe it, part of her thought Maria had to be lying, yet, she knew it was true. It had to be, despite her angry conscious trying to convince herself otherwise. Adrenaline began to pump through her veins, her heartbeat quickened and her breathing started to shallow as her skin became flushed. Finally, after all of these years, these brutal and cruel fourteen years, did someone, specifically Joel, really _love_ her?

"But... what the fuck - no! Why would he - "

"Ellie - He loves you more than anything in the entire world. You're all that matters to him. He would walk to the end of the earth and back for you. You're his daughter and he loves you to death. He couldn't lose you - that's it - he simply couldn't lose you. If he did, _we_ would lose him. He wants to see you grow and be happy. He _loves you_ Ellie."

Ellie's anger and rage was rapidly diminishing. She could feel it quickly spinning down the drain, disappearing altogether as a combination of joy, sadness and love of her own flowed in. Maria's words reminded her of the realization she had at the gate. Had her and Joel's roles been reversed, she would have done exactly the same thing. Just like Maria said. She loved him, and now with Maria's confirmation, all doubt was erased, she knew he loved her. The only thing that remained was to hear him finally say it. She wiped her eyes and somehow managed a slight smile through her tears as she looked back at this woman who had become the closest thing to a mother she ever had.

"Really?" she asked with a sniffle.

"Sweetie... oh my god - _yes!_ You're his world. You're his reason for living - you're his _purpose!_ "

There it was again, that word, purpose. No more convincing was needed. Ellie could actively feel her heart shifting forms and taking shape. Joel really had become her purpose, just like she had for him. The next set of lyrics from the music that filled the room tugged at Ellie's heartstrings. She looked towards the tape player and could feel her insides fluttering with pain, sadness, angst, anguish and love all at the same time. Maria noticed, and reached for the volume knob to turn it down, pulling a sudden reaction from Ellie.

"No! Don't!" Ellie shouted.

Maria quickly pulled her hand away and immediately understood why.

 _Cardboard  
Masks of all the people __I've been_  
 _Thrown out, with all the rusted, tangled,_ _dented God Damned miseries_  
 _You could say I'm hard to hold_  
 _But if you knew me you'd know_  
 _I've got...  
A good father_  
 _And his strength is what makes me cry_

The music pierced Ellie right through the heart. Her lips trembled again and she let out another sob in reaction. The weight of everything was too much, she didn't understand how to deal with it. All she knew, all that mattered, was that she yearned to be back in Joel's arms. She couldn't wait to get back to him. It was all she could think about, nothing more. She loved him and he loved her. The obstacle and previously impenetrable wall that was his lie now seemed completely trivial. She understood why he did it. And she knew she would have done exactly, without question, the same thing. She would kill for him, as he did for her. She would even damn the rest of humanity for him, as he did for her.

 _Feet on ground  
Heart in hand  
Facing forward  
Be yourself_

"Ellie... when Tommy and I see you two together... it's - it's - " Maria began to choke up. "It only makes me pray to god that I have even half of the same connection with my child someday as he has with you. Tommy told me this is the happiest he's seen his brother since... since Sarah. He adores you Ellie, you have no idea how much he loves you."

 _I...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _No I've... no I've, no I've...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _So bad...  
So bad..._

Ellie lifted her head and took a deep breath as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves. "I... think I do - I do know."

Maria placed her hand on Ellie's knee and smiled, understanding the implication behind Ellie's words. She saw Ellie lean her head back against the couch and gaze up at the ceiling as her breathing calmed, the song still sending emotional reverberations through her body.

She sat there, without saying a word, actively listening to the music and remembering each and every experience with Joel. The jokes they shared, the hardships they faced, the life or death situations they had to endure, the tender moments between them that were subtle and rare at best, but then became all too common, all ran though her mind, causing more tears to quietly run down her cheeks to the cushion beneath her. She traced the path of their relationship in her mind, remembering it slowly building from mutual disdain in Boston, to utter co-dependence and affection once they reached Salt Lake City. She remembered saving his life and all the times he saved hers. She remembered all of the stories he told of the old world. She remembered him lovingly pulling her into his arms after her darkest and most terrifying moments when she needed him above everything else. She thought about how happy he made her, how cared for and important he made her feel. And as always, most of all, she was once again reminded that he never left her alone. He never abandoned her. She was his daughter, his baby girl, and he loved her more than life itself. That, was something she never felt during her harsh, previous fourteen years of existence. To be cared for, nurtured and loved was foreign, but once Joel finally gave into his paternal empathy, she couldn't get enough. It was what she wanted this whole time.

 _You could say I'm hard to hold_  
 _But if you knew me you'd know_  
 _I've got...  
A good father_  
 _And his strength is what makes me cry_

 _I...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _No I've... no I've, no I've...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _So bad...  
So bad..._

She lifted her head and quickly rose to her feet from the couch. After wiping her nose and letting out a sniffle she gave Maria a hug.

"Thank you," Ellie whispered.

"Of course - now go. Go home. Go find him. He needs you, Ellie," Maria softly responded, wiping a tear from her eye.

Ellie pulled away and rubbed the tears off of her cheeks and let out a deep breath. "I know."

She bolted for the door and once again quickened to a sprint as she ran home. Each step brought her closer and closer to Joel. Her heart and insides were tickling with emotion and she couldn't wait to get back to him, to tell him everything was going to be okay. The full moon vibrantly glowed in the sky, and the cold autumn air that rushed against her face quickly dried the tears that still dripped from her eyelids. The entire scene and familiar circumstances sent a chill down her spine. They reminded her of the dream she had on their first night in Jackson.

 _I'm coming Joel - I'm coming. Hang in there._

* * *

Joel sat on the floor in the kitchen with his revolver lying next to him as he held two pictures, one in each hand. Him and Sarah in the left, him and Ellie in the right. He stared at them for minutes on end, gently rubbing his thumb over each of their faces. Tears dripped from his cheeks and onto the pictures then occasionally dribbled to the floor beneath his legs.

He looked at Sarah and felt a pang of guilt and anguish wash over him. He remembered all of her birthday parties, her soccer games and Sundays with Tommy while they watched football. Those fond memories only triggered another intense shock wave of despair through him, making him wish he could transport himself back in time. He remembered carrying her through the streets of Austin, when the outbreak first happened. Then, inevitably, the memory of her dying body in his arms while she perished from the mortal bullet wound, darted through his mind. He let out a convulsive sob and brought his hand to his face, feeling the rain of tears drip through his beard.

"Oh fuckin'... I'm so sorry baby. I couldn't save ya - I failed... god dammit..." he said to himself as he clenched his fists, his voice trailing off as he tried to speak through his painful sobbing. "I love you. I always will." He brought the picture to his lips and kissed it.

Then, he looked at Ellie, with her adorable little face resting on his shoulder with a carefree smile stretched across her lips. It ripped his heart in half and he could hear it screaming in agony. He felt like dying as every cell in his body was withering away. He gently ran his thumb over the scar above her eye which was barely visible in the picture. He thought about that first day he met her, how much he had to fight the already bubbling feelings of paternal empathy. He remembered the morning she sneaked out of bed to surprise him with coffee. He remembered how many times she saved his life and how persistent she was at chipping away the ice that surrounded his frozen heart. She brought him back to life, she reminded him what it was like to be a father again, to love something again. He remembered each and every tender moment between them, when he first taught her how to swim, when he affectionately carried her in his arms while she nuzzled into his shoulder, the times she would gently bite his hand and pretend to be an Infected, the moments they shared while he nursed and comforted her back to health after Michelle. His heart ached with a throbbing, emotional pain he hadn't felt since losing Sarah. Everything he and Ellie experienced, the relationship they built, was now gone. It was over. She was gone. The one thing he loved in his life, the one that kept him going and gave him _purpose,_ was gone. In the cruel world which was now planet Earth, there wasn't anything worth living for anymore.

He loudly moaned in pain as he looked up towards the ceiling. An intense sob shook him to the core and he looked at Ellie's face one last time, tears dripping onto the picture just above her auburn hair. He could still remember its smell, her scent. It always brought him peace and comfort, knowing she was close to him and safe. But this time remembering it only made him hurt that much more.

"Oh... fuck!" he screamed as he punched the cabinet door next to him. "Ellie - I'm so goddamn sorry... baby girl oh my god... oh my fuckin' god. Please come back baby... please come back... please. Baby! Please!" he pleaded to himself through his weeping.

He closed his eyes and kissed the picture of him and Ellie as well. After pressing both pictures to his chest, over his heart, he reached for the revolver and slowly rose it to his head. His hand violently shook the entire way up, he felt sick and wanted to throw up. He closed his eyes, let out one one last sob and lurched his finger towards the trigger.

Suddenly, the familiar patter of footsteps echoed from outside.

* * *

Ellie bolted up the porch steps and shot through the door. The living room was a wreck, just as it had been in her dream. Items were broken and littered all over the floor. She glanced around in a panic, trying to gain her senses. In an instant, she heard weeping coming from the kitchen.

 _Joel!_

She immediately ran around the corner, only to see him sitting on the floor with his revolver pointed at his head.

"No! No! No! Oh my god no!" she screamed.

She dove to the floor and crawled over to him, wiggling in between his legs then ripping the gun from his hand and tossing it aside.

"No! Please! Oh my god! Joel!" Tears began pouring from her eyes as she placed both hands on the sides of his head.

He was panting, his heart pounded through his chest from what he was about to do. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, was it real? Did she really come back? Was he dreaming? He shook his head and looked into her piercing, green eyes that were dripping with tears of her own. It was real, she really was here. She came back to him. She saved his life. Again.

"Oh baby girl!" he moaned as he wrapped his arms around her.

He placed one hand on her back and gently held the back of her head with the other as he pulled her to him. His chest quivered and shook as he cried with relief while holding her in his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck and nuzzled her nose into it, seeing her tears drip to the collar of his shirt.

"Oh Christ... baby you came back. Oh god honey..." he softly said through a convulsive sob. "I thought - thought you were gone... I thought I lost you - forever."

He pressed his lips into her hair and gave her a kiss, feeling his tears drip from his chin onto the base of her pony tail.

Ellie let out a small, whimpered laugh through her tears. "You - you couldn't get rid of me even if you tried - remember?"

Her response caused him to slightly smile, but it also pulled out another wave of joyful tears as he squeezed her even tighter. He felt her pull her legs in, curling up into a ball as she pressed herself against his chest and tightened her arms around him. She again nuzzled into his neck and took in his familiar, relaxing scent. His arms once again felt like the safest place in the world, her favorite place in the world. There was nowhere else she'd rather be. Likewise, he pressed his nose into her hair and smelled her scent that he'd become so attached to. He cherished feeling her in his arms right at this moment, refusing to let go. Nothing could make him let go.

She slowly lifted her head and slightly pulled herself up so she could speak to him, still feeling his tender and tight grasp around her. Tears dripped from the tip of her nose and chin onto his jeans as she separated her lips to speak.

"Is - is it true?" she softly muttered.

He looked her in the eyes and brought one hand up to cup her cheek with his palm.

"Wha - I - I told you everything sweetie - I swear I did - "

"Shh - shh no you didn't. You missed one thing," she cooed as she tugged on his sleeve. A lump formed in her throat and she gulped after taking a deep breath. "You... you love me... right?"

"Oh baby girl!" he cried out, clenching his eyes shut. Her words sent a ripple of joy through him. "You have no - "

"Just say it... fucking say it... please," she quietly and softly pleaded, her face exuding a look of complete vulnerability.

That was it, the final straw. Ellie finally cut away the last piece of ice that encased his heart. Hearing her words caused butterflies to flutter through his stomach. His gut was screaming to finally say it, to finally say what she and him had both been yearning to hear for so long. Like always, since the beginning, she was resurrecting the humanity within him, bringing him back to life. He never thought he could love something like he did Sarah again. He could, it just required the constant attention and contact of this little, auburn haired, sprite named Ellie.

He gently caressed her face with both of his hands.

"I _love_ you. I _love_ you sweetie - I _love_ you more than life itself. I _love_ you 'til the day I die and rot in the ground. I _love_ you honey - you're my baby girl and I'll _love_ you _forever_ , no matter what." The words rapidly poured from his mouth without restraint like the tears that continued to pour from his eyes.

 _You could say I'm hard to hold_  
 _But if you knew me you'd know_  
 _I've got...  
A good father_  
 _And his strength is what makes me cry_

 _I...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _No I've... no I've, no I've...  
I've never wanted anything_  
 _So bad...  
So bad..._

Ellie felt the most intense wave of emotion shoot through her. Her heartbeat rapidly increased and she let out a sob of joy. Hearing those three, powerful words dug right into her soul. She dove back into his arms and nuzzled into his chest as another intense wave of tears stained his shirt. She felt him squeeze her tight once more, pulling her close to him. The warmth of his embrace coupled with the statement she yearned so long to hear melted her into a puddle. There wasn't a single place in the universe she would rather be. It felt as if the entire world chaotically spun around them. Yet, here they were, remaining still, locked into each other and anchored by one another's embrace.

"I love you too - oh _god_... I love you too," she finally responded, giving him a kiss on the shoulder.

Hearing her say it caused both of them to let out another mutual sob. They held each other for minutes, crying in the other's arms, pressing themselves closer and closer together until no space remained. Their souls rapidly spun and danced around the other, like two stars do in a galaxy before colliding. Finally, their metaphysical entities crashed into one another and they became one. She was a part of him, he was a part of her. He needed her, she needed him. He loved her and she loved him.

They both lifted their heads to look the other in the eyes. Each of them gently placed their hands around the other's face and when their eyes met they let out a small, airy laugh through their tears of joy. Joel pulled her face close and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I love you."

He kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you."

He kissed her on the other cheek.

"I love you."

He kissed her on the bridge of her nose.

"I love you so much baby girl - oh god."

She let out another airy laugh, her heart tickling from the profound amount of joy that coursed through it. She felt undeniably loved and cared for. She felt important, like she really mattered to someone and wasn't merely viewed as the infected girl, or some piece of flesh only to be used to save mankind. No one had ever made her feel this way. She was relishing every second of this penultimate tender moment and never wanted it to end.

She pulled his head down to her shoulder and pressed her lips to the base of his hairline, feeling more tears rub from her cheek onto the side of his face.

"I. Love. You," she said, punctuating each word with a kiss of her own into his hair.

He softly grabbed the back of her head, just beneath her pony tail, and pulled her to his chest once again. He rubbed her back with this other hand and whispered through another quivering sob before kissing her again on the cheek. "My baby girl... I ain't lettin' go - I ain't gonna do it."

Ellie sniffled and with her chin resting on his shoulder, she muffled her response with another light, airy laugh through her crying. "Don't you even think about it."

They could feel each other's heartbeat against their chests. Both of them melted into the other's embrace as they tightly clutched one another. Joel gently stroked her hair as he slightly rocked her back and forth. They closed their eyes and let out a deep breath, reveling in this moment. No barrier or bump in the road remained in their relationship. Everything they had been through and dealt with, all the good, all the bad, lead them to this very moment. It made the bad seem less horrific, as if it had to happen to bring them together, right now, on the kitchen floor embracing one another and melting into each other's arms. It all lead to this, and for that, they were thankful for each and every second they'd spent with each other.

Ellie wiggled her away around and leaned against him, resting the back of her head against his chest. She grabbed his arms and pulled them around her waist, until she could feel him snugly holding her. Their crying finally ceased, and their short, rapid breaths eventually turned to slow, calm, deep inhales. Joel continually pecked her with kisses as he quietly held her in his arms. Her tiny, little frame fit perfectly in his embrace. As if she were the missing piece to complete his puzzle, and he were the missing piece to complete hers. She was completely encased, protected from even the darkest things of the world. She was back in her favorite place, her domain.

She tilted her head back, straining her neck as she tried looking up at his face behind her.

"I love you," she said with a smile.

A massive smile stretched over his lips as well, the wrinkles in his face and behind his beard becoming accentuated. "I love you too sweetie," he responded.

Each time he said it, no matter how many times he already had, it sent a shock of warmth through their hearts. It was relieving, to break through that barrier which remained between them. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted from their shoulders. And now that his lie was in the past and the truth was in the open, they could finally move on.

They sat on the floor in that exact position for hours, Ellie tightly snuggled in his arms. Each time she felt herself barely sliding away, she would wiggle her way back up against him, constantly keeping contact. Both of them fondly reminisced about the experiences they shared from the past year. There was no one else, just them and the sound of wind in the trees outside. Every so often, Ellie would randomly tilt her head back and utter the three words again, pulling a smile across both of their faces. And each time Joel would reciprocate, followed by a kiss to her hair.

Eventually, Ellie adorably fell asleep in his arms, lightly snoring as her little fingers remained wrapped around his sleeves and her nose nuzzled into his shoulder. He carefully got up, still holding her in his arms and walked upstairs to bed. He didn't even bother turning towards her room. He knew, without a doubt, she wanted to be with him tonight, and possibly for a long time to come. While still holding her, he carefully lowered into the sheets and adjusted her so she was lying on her side, atop his chest with her head just beneath his chin. He reached down, pulled the comforter up until just her neck and above were over it. As he stared up at the ceiling, he felt his heart bursting with love and affection for his little girl. He could hardly contain himself. And now, finally, after all this time, it was no longer his purpose and her purpose. It was _their purpose._ He felt her slightly rub her cheek against his shirt as she let out an adorable peep coupled with a smile, knowing exactly where she remained. He lowered his lips to her hair, gave her one last kiss then wished her good night.

"Good night baby girl. I love you."

* * *

 **Holy mother of god that was intense. I got really, really emotional while writing that... like I thought I would. Holy crap, wow. I know in an earlier chapter I said I wasn't going to use lyrics... but I absolutely had to do it here and I figured if I reference the artist as I'm doing just below, it was okay. I would really, really love to read reviews on this one. I ripped open my chest here and really let loose. This one _is dear_ to me. Thank you so much again everyone.**

 _ **I do not take credit for anything related to the song titled Good Mother by Jann Arden as it is 100% the property of her and her record label.**_


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Okay, final chapter here. Umm... lots and lots of fluff. Because... why the hell not. Couldn't resist given the last few chapters.**

* * *

The following morning, the two of them refused to leave the confines of the comforter and each other. Neither one wanted to leave, even to get up and eat. Both made a trip to the bathroom at one point, but immediately ran back and dove into the sheets. Joel refused to loosen his arms around her, knowing that last night his greatest fear nearly came to fruition. He very nearly lost Ellie, his daughter, his purpose and reason for living, for good. Likewise, Ellie refused to separate herself from him, staying plastered to him in his embrace. Knowing she nearly lost her purpose and reason for living, her father, and thus her greatest fear also nearly became a reality. She would have been dreadfully alone in a world that would have slowly but surely torn her to shreds. They both awoke from their peaceful slumber at the same time and both immediately looking for eye contact from the other. Within seconds of awaking, Ellie lifted her little head to meet Joel's eyes as he looked down at her with a smile. She couldn't help but give way to a laugh of relief as her eyes once again began to water. He loved her. She loved him. After all these years, all this time, all the pain, horror and tragedy, they both finally found redemption and exactly what they'd been searching for. And they found it in each other.

Joel couldn't help but finally see how delicate, how tiny, how small and fragile she still was. He always thought of her as tough and rugged for her age, but right now in this moment he could see the pure vulnerability emanating from her aura. For the first time, she actually seemed _so_ fragile. As if her little frame, which fit perfectly in his arms, would break into a million pieces if he made any attempt, no matter how small, to shove her off of him. He wouldn't dare. He would never, ever do it. He noticed her auburn hair glow in the morning sunlight, emitting its vibrant shades of red. He had to pinch himself, to reassure him that this was real, that she really was still here, in _his_ arms.

 _Goddammit - I love you so fucking much._

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Say it!" Ellie softly exclaimed through a sniffle as she tugged on his sleeve.

Joel smiled and brushed her rebellious lock of hair behind hear. "I love you sweet pea."

Hearing the words again sent a tingle through her body, knowing that last night, though as hard and emotionally difficult it started, was not just a dream. It was real, all of it happened and it lead them to this tender moment. She closed her eyes and smiled, letting out another airy laugh as she pressed the side of her head against his chest.

"I love you too," she responded, feeling his callused hand gently stroke her hair.

She lifted her head again, this time with a slight look of confusion and felt his grasp remain around her as he wrapped his arms around her back.

"Hang on... sweet pea? That's a new one - how many fucking names do I have?" she asked with a humorous snicker.

Joel let out a boisterous laugh.

"I dunno - reckon they just come to me I guess."

"Alright hmm... well... let's take stock - we got umm... my real fucking name, Ellie."

"Yes ma'am."

"Uhh... honey," she continued.

"That's right."

"Sweetie."

"Yep."

"Hmm... what else..." She squinted her eyes, searching her brain.

"Munchkin," Joel said with a snicker.

"Right! Munchkin - that's a weird one. What the fuck does that even really mean?"

"Tssht - hell if I know."

"Oh! Kiddo."

"Yep - reckon that was the first one."

"Haha - yeah probably."

A short silence fell between them.

"Ellie - you're missin' one."

She looked him in the eyes and smiled as she blushed, knowing what he was referring to.

"It's my favorite," she softly responded.

"Mine too."

"Well c'mon you ass - don't keep me waiting!" she playfully stammered.

He smiled and pulled her up to him, pressing his lips to her hair.

"Baby girl," he cooed with his usual deep and raspy, yet soothing voice.

He felt her embrace around his neck and shoulders tighten as he said, what used to be until now, her two favorite words.

They both took a deep breath and continued enjoying being in each other's presence. They felt refreshed, like they were ready to start the next chapter of their lives, truly as father and daughter. Knowing without question they loved each other as such.

Still lying on top of him, with her head resting on his chest which slowly expanded and contracted with each of his breaths, she broke the silence between them.

"Hey Joel."

"Hmm?" he simply responded.

"When... at what point did I... you know - stop being just cargo?"

"What you mean?" he asked, though he knew exactly what she meant.

"Oh fuck you - c'mon - you know what I mean," she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah - alright - hang on lemme think," he said as he continued to brush her hair with his fingers.

He let out an exhale through his puckered lips and stared at the ceiling, searching through the multitude of memories which involved the two of them. He knew the moment she was referring to occurred relatively early during their trek across America. He started caring about her long before he'd even accepted it.

"Hmm..."

Ellie reached her tiny hand down and grabbed his fingers, remembering how many Infected, and even living human beings his hands were responsible for killing. Her touch caused him to really digest her question, digging deep into his mind to truthfully think about the moment when he no longer merely viewed her as cargo that required smuggling.

"When we were tryin' to get outta Boston. Reckon we were just about to the capitol building and I uhh.. asked you 'Is that everything you hoped for?' Then ya said 'Jury's still out. But, man... you can't deny that view.' I looked down at my watch - thinkin' of Sarah and... and that was it."

Ellie's eyes slightly widened, surprised to hear him admit it was so early, yet, she knew it was the case all along. She couldn't help but smile as she tightened her grip around his hand after hearing his response.

Feeling her squeeze his hand tighter with her little fingers told him how happy his honest answer made her feel.

"You?" he asked.

"Huh? I - I don't know what you mean," she coyly responded, claiming ignorance. She knew what he was asking.

"Tssht - like hell you don't - c'mon kiddo two people can play this game. Reckon you got attached to me pretty quick - I know it. Go on - spit it out," he said in a playful and prodding tone.

"Gah! Fine, fine! Gimme a second... hmmm..."

She paused, also digging through every memory she could.

"It was after... the capitol building - after Tess..." She gulped, hoping that referencing Tess' name wouldn't cause Joel to be upset. She looked up at him, still seeing him smiling down at her.

He felt a tug on his heart, hearing that name again. But nothing could ruin this morning with the most precious thing in the universe to him, Ellie.

"Well - go on," he urged.

Her lips returned to smiling.

"Those fuckers were gonna kill us. We were trying to get away and I asked you 'What do we do? Joel!?' in kind of a umm... panic I guess. I was scared okay! I didn't hide it very well - I know."

"Haha I know, that's okay - no one asked ya to."

"Well... then I went to hide behind something and you placed your arm above me on... whatever the fuck it was we were hiding behind. I nudged in close to you - and I think all you said was... 'I got this.' That's when I knew. For the first time in... forever... I actually felt... _safe_ \- _protected_ and... _cared for_. And I knew at that point it was just us... just you and me - so if I lost you - I'd... end up alone. That's when I latched on - and you wouldn't have been able to get rid of me if you tried," she said, looking up at him with an endearing expression.

Joel, also surprised to hear how early it occurred for her, couldn't help but smile as well and squeezed her tighter.

"Well - I ain't goin' anywhere sweetie - you know that," he said. "Where ever I go. You go. Where you go, I go. Simple as that."

"Yeah... but - you could... you know - maybe not to come so close to fucking dying again?" she asked with a laugh. "I can only save your ass so many times."

Joel laughed as well. "Guess I'm part cat - got nine lives. What am I down to now? Six? Seven?"

"Wait - what the hell? Part cat? Nine lives? I... I don't get it..."

Joel snickered then sighed, once again temporarily forgetting she was born after the outbreak and had no concept of anything from before the world broke into the horror it is now.

"Just - never mind... you're cute."

Suddenly, footsteps against the porch outside echoed through the open window. They heard two, familiar soft voices and immediately recognized them as Tommy and Maria.

"Looks like they've come to check in. C'mon - let's go. Don't wanna leave 'em worryin' 'bout us for much longer," Joel said, lifting himself to a sitting position on the edge of the mattress.

Just before he rose to his feet, Ellie stopped him.

"Wait!" she exclaimed.

He turned his head over his shoulder and felt her jump on his back then latch her arms around his neck.

"Okay - now we're good - giddy up!" she said with a smile as she pat him on the shoulder.

He stood up with her propped on his back, giving her a piggy back ride while going downstairs to answer the door. He slowly pulled it open, only to see Tommy and Maria nervously standing there, anxious to see if him and Ellie were indeed okay. And most of all, still together. Ellie popped her head up from his shoulder just as they came into view and surprised them.

"Surprise fuckers!" she shouted.

Both of them let out massive deep breaths of relief. Tommy rose his hand to his brow and took a step back. "Oh Jesus... thank fuckin' god... you two have... just - goddamn. Whew!" he said in extreme relief.

Maria quickly shook her hands, trying to rid herself of the nerves that were coursing through her as her eyes began to water. "Holy shit... thank god. Thank _fucking_ god," she said.

"Mornin' you two," Joel said, greeting them with a massive smile as he brought his hand up to gently rub Ellie's little fingers, which were still clasped around his neck.

Tommy smiled and let out a snicker. "Joel you uhh... reckon you don't look so good. You got somethin' growin' off your back. Looks pretty scary - better get that checked out," he said with a wink.

"Oh haha you dick - Maria I would smack him but I can't reach - do it for me will ya?" Ellie said.

Maria smiled and obliged, smacking Tommy on the arm.

"Oh! Shit! Sorry Ellie I... I didn't know that was you," he jokingly responded in reaction.

"Alright - alright... c'mon in you two," Joel said, motioning them inside.

"We brought food!" Maria said.

"Yes! We don't have shit and I'm fucking starving," Ellie said, lifting her chin from Joel's shoulder.

"Then I'll get started I guess."

Maria went to the kitchen to prepare an early lunch while the other three took their respective places at the table. Ellie immediately scooted her chair right up against Joel's, still refusing to leave his side. He of course, didn't mind it, and wouldn't have it any other way. He felt her wrap her hands around his arm and rest her head against the side of it.

Tommy exhaled as he lowered himself into his chair then ran his hand through his hair. "So... everything's okay? Y'all good?"

Joel and Ellie looked at each other and smiled, then back at Tommy and nodded in unison.

"Yessir - good as you can imagine," Joel said as he messed with Ellie's hair.

Tommy and Maria couldn't help but smile and they both let out a light laugh.

"Thank god... now can you two please stop scarin' the shit outta us?" Tommy said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... easy now - we're good. Trust me. Right baby girl?" Joel responded, looking at his little companion.

She turned her head and looked up at him with a smile. "Yeah - we're good."

A biting cold gust of wind blew through the open window, causing Ellie to shiver and snuggle even closer to Joel.

"Damn - gettin' cold. Reckon winter's on it's way," Tommy said.

That word, winter, Ellie used to hate it. But now, it didn't seem so bad. At one point it represented everything she loathed and despised, everything that tried to destroy her and push her down a dark, inescapable hole. It reminded her of being terrified, trapped in a cage and hearing the sound of human limbs being cut and falling to the floor. It reminded her of nearly losing Joel, of nearly being raped and left utterly broken by that monster David, and feeling his hands choking her neck. However, after everything that transpired between her and Joel, especially last night, it didn't seem so bad. Even her worst demons and her worst nightmares she could conquer as long as he was by her side. And she knew, forever, he always would be, no matter what. The thought of the freezing cold and the snow instead made her think about keeping warm inside their home with him, which brought a smile to her face. She would never be cold again, no matter what. She would never be _alone_ again, no matter what. He would never _lose_ his daughter again, no matter what. They would never lose _their purpose_ again, no matter what.

Without saying anything, they looked each other in the eyes and smiled, knowing exactly which three words the other was thinking.

 _I love you._

 _I've never wanted anything_  
 _So bad_

* * *

 **AN: And that's that. I want to thank everybody for reading, for the support and for all of the reviews, positive and negative alike. As much as I enjoyed writing my first story, this one I enjoyed even more. I hope people liked it. Again, my first story and now this one, are the only pieces of writing I've ever done in my life. I'm technically a software engineer by trade, and expressing this amount of emotion and creativity has been foreign, strange, but also wonderful. I can't say enough about how much I've enjoyed doing this. Very early on I said I would explain some of my O.C's, view points and where I was coming from. So, I will do just that...**

 **Let's start with what, in my opinion, really set the stage for this whole thing. I personally feel, and I'm sure others may disagree, that after going through what Joel and Ellie did when traveling across the country, the sense of co-dependence and attachment between them would be... outrageous. I really tried to think about it, putting myself in their shoes and if I had to fight tooth and nail every single day just to barely survive while traveling across the country in a post-apocalyptic world, with unimaginable horrors lurking around every corner, with one person and one person only, I would become _severely_ attached to them. Probably beyond the point of what we would consider normal in our "cushy" world and society. Having to encounter things like cannibalism, near sexual assault, countless life or death scenarios and most of all, spending twenty four hours a day around one person for an entire year, would form the most inseparable bond between two people. It sure as hell would for me. Following from this, I think the emotional and psychological trauma done to both of them would be so drastic, it would take months, even years to heal. I might even argue they would never, ever go back to being the same person they were before since their psyches would be so damaged. This in my opinion only enhances the severe feelings of attachment and co-dependence. Like... big time.**

 **Ellie's _greatest_ fear is being abandoned, left alone. Joel's _greatest_ fear, in my opinion, was the concept of losing _another_ daughter. Those two fears sort of go hand in hand with each other when you put the two characters together. Ellie is petrified of abandonment, so she plasters herself to the only human being she feels safe and protected around, and moreover, loved by. Joel is so petrified of losing another daughter that after everything the two of them have experienced, he latches onto Ellie for fear of losing her. If he did, it would kill him. Again, reiterating that sense of attachment... co-dependence... she needs him, he needs her... So the entire situation creates almost like a... Nth degree of attachment between father and daughter, possibly beyond what we would consider normal. This lead to me exploring their vulnerabilities, which are things that every human being has. For Ellie, that was finally letting go and getting to be a child around Joel, something she never got to experience. And most of all, for her to acknowledge what she really wanted at the end of the day, which was to be loved. Again, something she never had. For Joel, that was accepting how much he really did love Ellie as his own, finally letting himself open up to her and acknowledging how badly he still wanted a daughter.**

 **Which leads me to this very crucial point that I wanted to hammer home in the story. I could not bring myself to introduce a "romantic relationship" between Ellie and some O.C. Nor could I do it for Joel. Either of them somehow managing to engage in a romantic relationship with anyone, just simply, flat out, doesn't make sense to me. The only thing they know, and love, whether they were ready to admit it or not, was each other, no one else. Joel simply would never put Ellie second to _anyone_ , ever. It took constant contact with her for him to fully revitalize any concept of love. Which in this case, was love of the familial kind. Him jumping right into a romantic relationship with someone, in my story that would have been Michelle, seems... absurd and completely out of character. For Ellie, though I do concede that she could venture to that area eventually, it wouldn't be for years to come.**

 **So, I made the O.C's quite sinister because I wanted to demonstrate that the bond between Joel and Ellie is so, unbelievably strong, that nothing could force them apart. Anything the universe could throw at them, including Joel's lie, though it almost did, would not split them up. I also wanted to raise this question: Was what remained of humanity really worth saving at this point?**

 **Anyway, that's about it in terms of where I was coming from. Again, thank you so much everyone for the feedback and for reading. This was a massive, personal, 100,000 word journey for me, and I appreciate each and every one of you who came along for the ride. I may write a third one... I haven't decided yet. But if I do, it won't be for a bit... will take a break. The last few chapters really took a lot out of me. Thanks again everyone, and I hope you enjoyed it.**

 _ **Lastly, I do not take credit for The Last of Us or any of its characters. Nor do I take credit for any pieces of creative work referenced here in this story. I only own the story itself and the ideas and themes expressed from my own creativity.**_


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